Reddit・wallstreetbetsのコメント

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1時間に1回更新しています。

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1 week vacation from wsb guaranteed.
Wouldnt put it past them to federalize the GME strategy
I think this is the play.\n \n* Monday is fucked\n \n* Tuesday very red going in but maybe close flat-ish\n \n* Wednesday bols get to eat a little becuase bers need to get money from somewhere\n \n* Thursday and Friday absolute bloodbath\n \nDon't invest accordingly
Well the bears got what they wanted I guess 🙄
Im taking one for the team, buying puts monday morning
The only reason we've made it this far as a species is because dolphins and octopi are confined to the sea\n\nThey would obliterate us if given the chance
Back in my day wallstreetbets didnt have any gay crypto charts
Spy to 600, gonna retest it, Barron gonna close his puts, switch to calls, mangoman announced end to war, and we gonna go to 700
I’ve been waiting for this moment, all my life
Buying bitcoin is officially no longer gay. I’m all in
Barron is already the richest 20 years old trader, all he has to do is ask dad to give him a heads up before every tweet...
Salted caramel or GTFO
I think of several steps in between US ships arriving in the strait and Nuclear Fallout
Will this ever be updated to reflect recent price action?
\n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 2 | **First Seen In WSB** | 3 days ago\n**Total Comments** | 0 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 3 years | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
So what happened end of February before the decicion was made? \nLucky you, because I have insider information \nThese are the words of the chief advisor to the president (hereinafter called 🥭) \n"In and out, they won't even notice we were there" \nThe rest is history
Heavy on the loss
> My parents have turned into tablet babies\n\nJust in time for them to start consuming Nick Shirley the iPad Kid Journalist's content
he is
Tomorrow man could announce that the US will cease all operations in Iran and those indicators would go out the window.
I thought the mission was completed by day 1
Diamond hands on a luxury brand in what could very readily become a recession is wild.
27 is the last age before old age
SPY is headed to 575.
FLORIDA!
Seriously, take a breather. The market's like a siren, luring you in with sweet songs only to dash you on the rocks. Might be wise to channel that energy into something less volatile, like, uh, brewing some coffee.
Some people are saying the most Ivy they have ever seen!
I saw the Houthis in the broom closet with the Ayotollah and they were making babies and the baby looked at me
Finally BTC isn't woke no more
Cool perspective, but also bullshit
ENGINEERS!!!!!
only way things get worse is if nuclear war starts so i'm bullish at this point. boots on the ground don't mean shit. America can't change the Irani regime.
It is Scott Bakulas fault
What are you smoking now?
Yeah buddy we all wanna be a little bit thicker
When i draw lines i do what i want, and it will automatically follow the line that i draw
So the top Ivy. Got it.
Nope, market is fucked Monday. Houthis gonna start hitting tankers.
It does. And the unemployment numbers have been creeping higher for 13 months. No hiding it.
Yes poors are a better hang but you don’t want to be poor
The tax laws you need to obey depend on residency and not citizenship.
I’m basically Tiger Woods if he was bad at golf
That’s one of the Ivies, right? The best one, I think.
Omg it's you. I'm a big fan, loved you in that one movie with the drums and the stocks.
apparently long on TSLA is the winning formula
The school of hard knocks and soft cocks
USA: knows it's reserves aren't full, and oil is at an extremely cheap price. Also knows it's planning on invading a middle eastern country, causing oil prices to spike.\n\nAlso US: Doesn't fill up reserves and them sell it off during the spikes, potentially even gaining a profit from the war.\n\nThis administration is genuinely retarded.
I am fan of SpaceX but liking what they do and what wall street will do with herd mentality of mom-pop buyers = tanking of stock\n\n
NYU
Houthi’s attacking Bag7 rn 😒
Trump University
School of hard kocks
Security Council Secretary Larijani, is that you??
Damn.
Russian mafia doesn't stop laundering money because there's a war or other shit
I heard they can triangulate Black Holes that disrupt the fabric of space time with it because the sub-sub atomic particles actually move as a result of gravity waves.
Shouldn't have taken that 2nd dose
lfg
Trump University
Yellen Plentily Penitently
All this bear talk is making me feel better about my SPY Mon/tues calls
Yes give them New Jersey
Florida it is....The iranians would come and say "NO,THANKS!" and just go away
this bitcoin thing is levered fugazi and will be back at some nominal value like $1000 or $100 when it's course is run
White house home school
Get a milkshake.
nowadays i am having a couple of beers and i am a wreck.... it's over
Bitcoin fell below my ballsack but it’s still above my knees but I’m pretty old so it’s very close to reaching the knee threshold. Then we’ll be in for it.
For every rainbow, there’s a secondary, fainter rainbow above it, with opposite colours. And above that, there’s an even fainter rainbow, again flipped. And above that…\n\nSo drawing a full rainbow means drawing many rainbows. The space between the first and secondary rainbow is called the Alexander‘s dark band, btw, as it is darker there…\n\n\nhttps://what-if.xkcd.com/150/\n
if you are worried about the rest of the market not going down because of this, don't be.\n\nwe still go down but this means XOP with it.
why would you destroy coins once you’re gay? gay people like money too
https://preview.redd.it/0xvf9ys93vrg1.jpeg?width=813&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc561ed3cc7029bb24ea7aaae9eb9bc231247cc4
I volunteer florida as tribute
Go for study like social studies, your kids are paying
What school does Barron go to? Is it one of the Ivies or all of them?
Same. Lmk when you figure out the next plan
I think US should just offer some of its territory to Iran to make peace. Maybe just 1 state
THE ORIGINAL \n\n\nhttps://www.blockchaincenter.net/bitcoin-rainbow-chart/
i want a milkshake
so I can buy until it's getting gay again?
Ever since the large hadron collider went online, reality feels warped. Like there are multiple realities that exist now and depending on which one you live in or whatever you’re bias towards, is true and factual. The mandela effect is that convergence of these realities where “alternative facts” really do exist and are collective consciousness materializes the reality we choose to believe in.
Classic. And the more kids you have the easier it is to pay back. We should start a business or something
J Pow >> J Yellen >>> J Christ >>>>>>> J Pirro
You can tell rainbow charts are gay because they are rainbows.
Unlikely if he finds a way out. There's a reason sanctions were lifted for Iranian oil in transit
I put in a 25k short on USO Friday before close. Let’s see how this plays out
What are you doing, techbro?
idk what he’s doing, because he doesn’t even know what he’s doing
Always better just to ditch the y axis. Then it can fit whatever you want it to!
Can always add purple
💯
I think I'd rather hang out with decent educated poor people than upper class people. At least until I double my wealth in the great depression part two. But even then...
what's the updated exit plan tbh, asking for a fren
If this happens my port will be saved
Agreed, never straight \n\nAlways gay
depends where you look.. Ofc alot is still happening in the middle east atm .. for example the houthis in yemen has joined the war now, and that poses a risk of them shutting down Bab al-Mandab Strait, and they can start sinking ships in the red sea..
I think they’ll leave options alone. Could always buy puts.
Monday at 9:29AM\n\nThe mission is complete. Thank you for your attention to this matter\n\nDJT
Monday meeting at Islamabad with 3 other nations (non Iran, USA or israel)
Hoping against hope to see you in next weekend’s weekend thread.
Would be a real shame if some assholes damaged the pipeline.... real dick move.
No, because his boys profit both ways
I don't know which pronouns are the purple ones, but I know they ain't gonna like this chart
2 ships a day, for 10 days. Thats going to cool shit down? Seriously?
My retirement plan was to be dead by 30 but then I lived somehow and here we are
Retarded
There will be books written about this shit in the coming years.
Topping off oil with wiper fluid
Hmm. Odd
https://preview.redd.it/8x9amqbo2vrg1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d91b2cc469217ab16aa36e50c104b094853f1a2f
Because you’re soliciting advice on wsb
So does this mean we should all invest in Grinder? Gotta help our gay bros out, right?
They’ll just adjust a chart again
🥭told you he thought the market would have dropped more. \n\nJust wait until he says it dropped enough to get back in. \n\nDon't overthink it, the man is a walking stock market billboard...
So buy now then destroy coins once gay?
they got the best cooks for the books
Going to reverse trust fund my kids. Open a dozen credit cards and personal loans from Sofi in their names and accumulate enormous debt maxing them out. Meanwhile I am swimming in beautiful clean coal from my own coal mines that I purchased with max interest while they pay it off. That’s the American dream.
My cat has learned to say two words in English, snack and outside, although he sounds like a deaf person when he says them, but they are clearly understandable
Someone tell me exactly why I shouldn’t full port into oil Monday morning
I like my mangos like I like my dicks, full of salt shoved in my ass.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Vw-MpQkTb-w
Doesn’t matter. That’s chart accurately described an immature bitcoin, but now that bitcoin is a more mature asset in the financial ecosystem, different price dynamics are more dominant.\n\nIn other words, bitcoins current pricing pattern isn’t weird, it’s just different.
Make it thicker daddy
You're an inspiration to us all.
How the fuck did Carvana go up last week?
It's all relative. Spending three months is retarded. I spent less than 0.25 percent of my annual income at the time.
RIP you
Not even close
Indigo and violet, if I remember my financial schooling correctly.
We in the ultraviolet range now
Yeah whatever happened to that plan? Seems to have vanished
Well, I, for one, would NEVER hope you get hit by a bus.\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If the bus has insurance, count me in
I am one of these regarded!
🫦
Yo, what 😁 That's got my attention
Not getting me with this one again
i love how the colors indicate the colors
I got perma banned from all the TSLA investor subs, I think for not taking his suggestion as a cat laps milk. One of my greatest achievements TBH.
They did that in 2008. The effect was that it just caused things to sell off faster.
always_was.gif
Norse joggers
Instructions unclear, got my dick caught in the ceiling fan
Armpit of the southeast
**Ban Bet Created:** **/u/motomeru2526** bet **SPY** goes from **632.85** to **689.0** before **31-Mar-2026 06:18 PM EDT**\n\nTheir record is 0 wins and 2 losses.\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
!banbet SPY 689 3d
Pakistan from the left field with a 🪣 of 💦 for the flames
Boy gee golly I can’t wait for the market to open. I sure love trading options.
What ever happened to jyellen?
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Awww yeah I like them thic
You forget rainbows come in multiples, check veritasium video for facts, this is not the sub for such talk.
We always want to be in the gay
God bless america haha
Gay
Being adventurous, are we? 😒
[ Removed by Reddit ]
ELMO IS GOD\n\nIN ELMO WE TRUST
You just described OTR truck drivers
Time to draw a new rainbow
🥵🥵🥵
UAE ADCOP also exists and both have been operating at capacity since this whole special military operation began. They make no significant difference.
Nobody tell him
When they are going to send troops? I wanna watch cool movie for my losses at least
Barron, first let us know once you switch from puts to calls!
Ey Barron, hit me up lets play some League or some shit
I can imagine its imbecile investors bidding the garbage stock back up to near $500 for no good reason. Such a joke.
Elon musk is so smart that he is retarded. People here are more like the guy in the middle of that bell curve graph.
Pollen
cooked
Adjust your rainbow accordingly.
Well, stuff keeps exploding in Iran, so I think that's his answer to the Iranian demands.
They are sending 7000 servicemembers from the Marines to Soldier paratroopers and there is discussion for raising 17,000 more. \n\nThe Strait is still held by Iran and they've told the US.to get wrecked. \n\nI'm concerned about your understanding of any of this. \n\nYou know Iran is over 3x the size of Iraq by population and like 4x as large geographically with much more complex and hostile terrain? \n\nThey still soundly hold the Strait. How do you think the US forces that strait open?
Does the Pope shit in the woods?
A couple years ago a lot of people called Satya CEO of the year, genius with open AI partnership.
This chart proves it’s not
Nothing. He just found out he can use margin to buy options. Thats not a little thing. Thats opening a whole new world of profit and loss
They're eating the cats man!
I didn't realize until the war that Dubai was in the middle of a chaos zone. You have people with lambos surrounded by countries killing people and dropping bombs.
fixed thank u
I went through ‘08 so I have experience being a bottom.
Surely the 3rd time is the charm and we won’t fuck them over again.
**Ban Bet Created:** **/u/nsfwnsfwnsfw33333** bet **SPY** goes from **632.85** to **600.0** before **27-Apr-2026 06:15 PM EDT**\n\nTheir record is 0 wins and 0 losses.\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
Then I had no idea still so many bulls around even after seeing this market!
!banbet spy 600 30d
I’m fully homo erectus now
Tech Anal
Idk but the blonde one doesnt like a red market
🥵🥵🥵
Only after Barron finishes loading calls
New to crypto. Started Dollar cost averaging a month ago.
Sounds like a domestic affair.
https://preview.redd.it/chabo1hk1vrg1.jpeg?width=1206&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee8189dcc5c1830f6c35d851f6ce349c851acbf4\n\nCan you help me
you're
Don't tell ICE bro
Send in the Kurds!
Do you think 🥭 would try to ban short selling? Some stock markets ban short selling in times of stress. I wouldn’t put it past him if market takes huge dump.
Troops are already sent, they are waiting to be deployed?
Call Elon to get it back into the Gay zone he's good at that
It will outlive Wallstreet and the USD
You can't deny Bitcoin is doing exactly as predicted. That is a beautiful graph.\n\nHigher highs and higher lows every time, in a clear logarithmic curve.\n\nI bought a Bitcoin last week at $70k and I'll buy another one in a year, whatever the price. The halving is on its way.\n\n\nBy the way, what retard drew that rainbow? [Hey ChatGPT, move the rainbow to the right a little.](https://i.imgur.com/Ik3ChNp.png)
Bet you say that to all the boys
yes yes yes
🫡
What is that deal look like to you?? Why would iran even come close to sign any deal.
Finally,someone posted about TKO!!! That’s a safe haven with interest, once it dips!!!
Time for our weekly affirmation:\n\n_Hold me now..._\n\n_I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking:_\n\n_Maybe six feet..._\n\n_ain't so far down..._\n\n☹️
This graph already makes me a bit thicker
is rob schneider special needs
Good luck seeing wsb member outside especially when sun is up
You already have a bet going - XOP to 175.0 before 09-Apr-2026 02:28 PM -05
!banbet
I’m not in support of them, let me be clear. But our current admin is completely incompetent.
# Saudi Pipeline to Bypass Hormuz Hits 7 Million Barrel Goal\n\n
Kashyap Pramod Vinod Patel 🤣
Is there free food?
I do. What’s wrong with that?
I just did
puts
Director Spiderkash to you
Meow meow meow
too many ponzi leeches and fake bulls for this not to be a bottom
RIP portfolio
Bears are right that the macro is shit, but the line doesn’t go straight down. Monday huge shrek cocks followed by large cliffords rest of the week
The Gaye??
Society is healing 🥰
I think USA putting 15-point point is just putting a tough front. Iran also gave their demands. Neither sides can agree with each other demands. Now ball is back to Trump. He can bluff or act tough or send in troops; nobody will negotiate in good faith with him.
The bottom expert is speaking about his experiences on the bottom
Thiel calmly explains that it is the only way to stop the antichrist if you really think about it!
Bulls organizing “No Puts” rallies for Sunday all across America lmao
Can you imagine a Tesla chip fab? LMAO 😂
Word, homie 🤘
They have nicknames, you know: Uday and Qusay
hunh. So youve been buying options with cash accounts?
Logic will fail
It’s not the bottom if bols still exist. You know its the bottom if you start questioning if bols went extinct.
If you're on robinhood, it is just applying that margin to your current equity positions and using cash for the options. So basically you're taking a loan against your owned stocks
if your not holding calls this weekend *edited for grammer
That was gay
Sounds like a low IQ speaketh to me. Across FAANG and it's well known how shitty pay is in EU. Get a job first
nobody tell him
Gordon Ramsey asking why it is so raw
That's like 800 years from now or something.
no u
My cat’s breath smells like cat food.
I go by Sue now. Can't draft me
Move everything into Emerging Markets (IE China)
US estimates are that they’ve taken out ~1/3 of the drone/missile stockpile. \nIf Saudi starts bombing Tehran every major piece of infrastructure in Riyadh will get hit.\nEveryone in the Middle East knows this which is why the cry to newspapers but don’t actually do anything. \nBut guess they can take solace that for every drone that blows up their bridges they shot down 2.
You mean the regime will survive? While continuing to brutalize their citizens.
Don’t be a little bitch, banbet it
Shout out to Barron, I know you’re in here. Let us know when you finish loading calls brotha
I agree, GS said sustained high oil would lead to 540 by year end, expect bounce from previous April high 610-590
I’m out
Tomorrow: WE MADE A DEAL FOR THE WORLD PEACE AND THE WELL BEING OF NATIONS\n\nNOW ITS TIME TO BUY\n\nPDT
You don’t comment your cousins porn with your brother, man that rude \n\nPeople outside Alabama are so uncivilised
https://preview.redd.it/db5as99x0vrg1.jpeg?width=802&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1d30f5bfff7702366a7866430aac5c3ffc57b8f1\n\nActual rainbow chart.
So Elmo wants to build his own chip fab and launch 200 billion AI chips a year into space\n\n🤣🤣🤣\n\n\nEven TSMC is having a bitch of a time getting the AZ fab to run smooth and they are the fucking experts on this shit
enjoy ur ban\n\nEdit: oops congrats regard :p
🥭 probably
The only thing I don't know is how to make money
Oh no! Anyways...
Nobody tell him
So it's bottoming
damn, that’s a bold move! ngl, SPXL can be a wild ride, especially with all the headlines around the Iran situation and housing market jitters. hope you're right about it just being a correction and not a full-on bear market. have you thought about how you’d handle it if it dips more than you expect? just keep an eye on it... good luck, man!
Ok boomer
How cooked am I on my January 2028 500 calls on gld
Just adjust the gay zone.
Went to No Krangs by mistake. Had a beer with the other turtles
New ATH on Monday
Lol
Nothing better than Blue Bell.
We are talking to a top guy he started from the bottom but now he's near the top. Everyone said I would never reach 50k on the Dow it was at the bottom when I started pretty much 0 and now it's down a little but I reached 50k for 5 minutes and it's up 1000% since I started so I'm not worried about the market because I got insider people that make money for me
Banbet it like this guy!
Anywhere between $3 and $700k will get you one!
idk bro, I have seen some sad titties and some awesome tats
You are really underselling here!
Ah North Carolina 🤌
Well, I, for one, would NEVER hope you get hit by a bus.\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
We are social experiment, most of us are retarded but not in rain man style, some from this retards are special kind like math retarded, some are language retarded, we are the special ed bus which take control and going through the forest\nBuckle up
Brave but totally a play
Sounds like your colleagues are not that smart
You're assuming people on here can afford that shit.
I think that’s called a polycule
too soon to celebrate
https://preview.redd.it/clqd4rmp0vrg1.jpeg?width=746&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b488009cf6d9c5ed1e5a6d940dd6220596c5e57d
What a bs chart too
Catalyst? Probly just OP's crippling gambling addiction and a dream, tbh. But hey, we've all been there, right?
If you already don’t know, Turkey and the middle east nations selling gazillion tons of GLD to stabilize currency and economy
Wait...Since when did Margin allow you to buy options wtf\n\nThought options were always restricted on margin due to the increased Margin Call risk
just got to make it through Saturday. bad news typically does not drop on Sunday, but could be wrong.
Yeah the higher delta means it acts more like the underlying and is less sensitive if it goes in the other direction
That is why God (the Japanese) made modern bidets. Mine is adjustable and you can turn it up to damn near power washer level if you want, then it gently air dries it. I will never wipe my ass like a common street hobo again!
So it’s gone hetero like JoJo
It ends in a pot of gold.
Just bears not gey bers
I think we might
honnestly if everyone that has half a brain hasn't taken profit then they deserve to lose money.... lessons learned
maybe long term but if you don’t think we get a relief rally within 30d ur crazy
+200 even though everyone knows it’s bullshit
Spiderkash
Yup, I remember the battle of Baghdad when Saddam fell. And the subsequent battles in Fallujah and Ramadi.\n\nI don't know how that is relevant, though. The US had a different mission then compared to today. We're not sending heavy equipment over for a mass land invasion. They're not trying to take over Teheran with boots on the ground. \n\n
Minisoldr
Yeah that's a loss right there bud. This will sooner hit 600 than 680
I would
Hey AI hasn't gotten *that* good yet but thanks for the compliment
😞
I just meditate on The Straight.
The US seizing control of 2 of the 3 biggest reserves of oil is bearish. Lmao
no look at the graph. it’s not gay to buy it now but you will be bicurious if you hold once it gets into the blue zone again
u/cashflow_ probably
They already altered the rainbow chart a few times so it can predict the past better 😂
Thats the best bitcoin analisys I have ever heard...
well he just posted about going on a fox news show tonight about hitting iran hard
You need to draw a FULL RAINBOW.\n\n\nIt starts at zero and ends at zero.\nThen look how BTC fits 😉
Maybe borderline obese people will go to Wendy’s to pile on the weight to avoid the draft
Honestly, who comments on porn vids?
Just get a citizenship for tax purposes. Afaik it's one of the lowest tax countries in whole of Europe.
nobody tell him lol
The Big Pride Decoupling is happening!!!!!!!!
See you in a week bro
No because he's gonna lose against Iran first of all
Who sold Friday at the bottom and locked in losses like a retard
you haven't been following the news it seems
Call Kenny loggins
Can we go to April lows so I can buy tqqq🥺
Higher chance of profit
So does this mean buy or sell, can’t read horticulture
Lmao, nobody going back to Dubai after this one
This isn't just a trading sub it's actually a polymath sub. People here are experts at trading, geography, arabic studies, advanced mathematics and physics
So it won’t fuck me this time if I buy now?
The 🅱️ is going to be explosive when the 5️⃣trajt magically opens.
I don't know what to do with my hands
Calls on your mom's ass then
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Oil opening o/u 108.5
not out of woods yet. a couple more hours for trump to tweet something bad . the 48 hours tweet was 2 hours from now last week
The "hot waitress" theory as a recession indicator needs to move over for the number of new OF accounts created on a monthly basis. I'll base my whole thesis for bear/bull based on that
Thank you for the DD. Will these positions still be good after I get drafted?
Good*
Anyone else go to their local "No Kangs" protest?
Gay-bow Chart
This is gay to know
You can follow him on Instagram: einsteinofwallst and he pretty much does a clip every day. Probably worth a follow in this coming week. Get a little bit of the vibe.
TeChNiCaL aNaLiSyS
This really made me laugh 😂
I mean technically it's been a super bull market since after 2008. If you look at spxl chart you notice how it starts after The financial crisis and it's up like 4000-5000% which spy is up 700-800%. But yuh something like the lost decade 2001-2008 would have obliterated spxl into bankruptcy.
microdosing on dopamine
🤣
I bought at 534 and luckily i took the L and sold my shares at 522
we are just on a whole different wave here, can't reason with you
Probably the opposite but ok
How is that so few of you fucking savages have heard of a bidet?
🤔
Try keeping a schedule.
Depends on where you are, you can try to buy CBD gummies. I used to buy them from Dr ganja. Helped a lot for sure.
I mean either youre receptive to it or youre not dawg
It fell into the straight
**Ban Bet Created:** **/u/vanceraa** bet **SPY** goes from **632.85** to **680.0** before **27-Apr-2026 06:04 PM EDT**\n\nTheir record is 1 wins and 2 losses.\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
!banbet spy 680 30d
This explains why they have been cozying up to\nTrump - he will share insider information, they use that to make money on these puts. Watch!
You definitely know nothing about the .com era. It was incredibly over leveraged vaporware. Investors were throwing in millions on shit like websites that teach people how to inflate a basketball or adjust their bike seat height under the guise that these would become major hot spot websites that could carry big advertising budgets. It was such horse shit. Even the Blockchain craze had better results.
You and that cash flow dude need to chill and get off the internet for a while
You already have a bet going - SPY to 630.0 before 28-Mar-2026 05:39 PM -05
Would you care, \nif I had hair, \nDown there?
!banbet
I AM COLORBLIND
And Wendy’s will go out of business along with everything else during the depression
"Talks are going super duper amazingly well like never seen before and never thought possible. The gay ayatollah, with tears in his eyes said 'Sir, sir, please may I suck your dick,' and I said 'no, my teeny tiny penis will only pass through your gay lips when the ships pass through the strait.' He said that was tough, but fair, and then cried because he has never seen a better deal-maker in his whole gay life."
Why on earth would anyone move to Moldova
My parents have turned into tablet babies, watching YouTube shorts at full volume on an endless loop.\n\n\nCalls on GOOG I guess
For me it's when you can't go at all
If Iran were half has incompetent as Kegsbreath they *would* have lost by now. Instead, they will win, nay dominate, by merely surviving.
🎶 and the place called Kokomo 🎶
Probably more like $8-$10 EOY.\n\nLooking for $4-$7 after earnings \n
Interesting choice of words
What do i base the meditation on? Like breathes in and out like how they did my wife? And do I finish raw inside too?
My girl speaks 4 languages how many does yours speak
Bitcoin is always gay.
banbet!
Second
Monday will be the last pump/relief before the great dump don’t let the regarded bets that held puts over the weekend tell you otherwise
...basically the truth is the opposite of what exits his mouth...
Ask him if we can get frosties.
Only after gym. I have monstrous pectorals
When I decide to get banned, I’m gonna trigger the automod prompts back to back, spam the shizz out of the thread and get thrown out of this sub like the drunk one who decides to stay after being cut off.
bro just draw purple underneath the blue and it will be in the zone
Give me 10 Trillion, I will go to the edge of the Milky Way is a torpedo shaped casket called the enterprise!
Thats like a Eminem lyric or something
If it’s Dhurandar 2 that was actually 🔥
SOMEONE POST THE SPIRAL COPIUM, QUICK
I just wanna lose enough money to get flaired
Once per hour
That's not a dream, that's Southern family planning
Eat my dongus you fuckin nerd.\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
And get sticky shit juice all over my shower? No thanks
Well atleast you won't be going to wendy's cause you will be drafted soon
wtf just make the blue line a little bit thicker ??
If SoftBank invests in it, you know it's doomed😂
But yet, I dont care
Eric and Jr must be really happy their dad shit on the saudis. Like bro, you have extremely profitable crypto grifts going on there.
Yes bro I closed days before it took a massive dump fuck me 😭
And get shit juice all over my shower? No thanks
He likes to rock a mullet
The first or second time?
American average or world average?
please donnie, can we go back to losing
I smoked a packed yesterday and got some pussy ass juul. Menthol playboi. Maybe a thc drink per day? Too much booze fucks with my medicine and they i might have a seizure and die... well haha thats the solution
Update bro ?
He's the guy who is still talking about how bad he's gonna beat you after hands have already been thrown.
I like Texas Roadhouse better
Just hop in the shower. Get a hand wand.
The best meme of all time
Nothing much happening in the war. News coverage is about the no kings rally
Appreciate the advice very much!
"Talks are going well" ain't gonna cut it this time 🥭
No, my name has a flair
If I could NOT see the future, why would I be saving for retirement? I will live to be 80 with my dick and brain working perfectly, all my hair and 0 back pain, like 🥭
For me it’s the little separate pebbles. I want it to be long and compact all in one piece
Nobody is touching Afghanistan for at least a decade.
ban
And do you remember what happened and is still happening in Iraq?
Bro discovered the money printer
Yo I was watching that movie where a wife gets revenge on a whole family for her dead husband by fucking them great watch
\n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 1 | **First Seen In WSB** | 3 years ago\n**Total Comments** | 4 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 3 years | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
I know.
i suggest you go look at the pitchforks across the nation, you think afghan is in play here?\n\n \nwe had military commanders speak out against him just last week
Showers bro, god made showers for those
The market can stay irrational longer than you solvent blah blah haha
Hi does your penis have hair?
😩
I had these same results. Then proceeded to lose my profit and quit when I hit even again. Figured out I had no idea what I was doing. Hopefully your results are better than mine.
Gramma give me 10 bucks for not touching myself, unfortunately Illustrious-Job1951 you will not received it this week 🥺
Agree the whole Tech Eco system has turned into a Spider web of cross ownership. I read all of Nvidia's Annual report and their last quarterlies. Not Impressed, they are basically printing cash and spending it on start ups and backroom board deals left and right. The market knows that's why the stock has been range bound for so long\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/u5cfcvxvyurg1.png?width=1386&format=png&auto=webp&s=973758e92f7fd1ccc9b6c14cbd4dcf9475157b59\n\n
You gotta admit it's true though
I think at this point we are the exit liquidity
Being Swiss is the endgame. You don't live in either the US or EU but get rich off them and are implicity protected by being surrounded. You can import poors from France and Germany to clean your houses and your currency is automatically the strongest in the world without you actually doing anything, making you an instant millionaire when you go abroad.
these posts should really have a trigger warning
1 time, cause the other times it’s seggs
Used to... mostly wife stuff
I didn’t see anything posted though.
I was 13 the first time. You?
This whole thing has been an L for the US.\n\nDonny needs an out. Still a shitty out, but an out. \n\nLebanon seems to be where Israel have shifted focus to.
Living in Europe requires dealing with Europoors
Relief rally will restore hope in investors that’s when I use them as exit liquidity
No you eat MY dongus
Jokes on you. Get a citizenship in a tax haven like Moldova, get taxed 12% on all income regardless of bracket and live anywhere you want in Europe
Monday might be a 3% down day… good luck
None whatsoever.
https://preview.redd.it/p1bw4yhnyurg1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb767d1d20bc7d9b1922cee8a62b3f27e172cab0
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im dumb i bought apr 6
you know what the worst kind of shit to take is\n\nit's not the rock hard ones that are hard to push\n\nor the watery slop\n\nit's the sticky ones\n\nand you gotta spend like 4 hours just wipin that shit
Or Tuesday
Like, um, three or four. Three or four times, maybe five.
Pro tip
While rock hard
Ruh roh
So you said rings are for retards and then admitted to spending thousands of dollars on a ring
Once in the morning and once before bed, usually.
When I hear “tit for tat”, I think whoever is getting the tat is getting the shit end of the deal.
Sounds like a broke Europoor to me
You boys must be looking for pennies in your imaginary couch so you can pretend to trade next week.
I'm also short those same equities. Also short BTC
Next pump will not compensate for Mondays dump
Yo so we all just on simpcity gooning rn got it
I’m down to one a day.
Now just think if you bought call options…
I liked the roadhouse remake
So 2028?
He technically is. Max height is technically 6'8. He might be tiny bit under that but not by much.
Like 90% of traffic is Iranian or Iranian linked. (I'm just talking post US sanctions being lifted). \n\nI mean the US haven't a clue what they are doing so I wouldn't rule anything out. \n\n
Market manipulation at its finest haha, i got screwed thinking it wasnt
Grab a ciggie like a real man
Most missiles and drones are shot down. Some get through. Ending Iran's ability to replace their dwindling supply is the reason the steel plants were blown up yesterday. Once all the manufacturing ability is destroyed they'll be left with nothing.
Next pump I’m getting tf out of the casino
Lower rates! Buy psky! OP is so stupid I didnt even assume he was baiting exit liquidity
I love it maybe that's true
Why is she taking you to an Indian movie?
_Elon Musk salivates_
To shreads you say?
Shame
No bullshit. How many times a day do you guys wank it? I do normally 3.
Are we at the unknown unknown phase?
Holy F, both u/cashflow_ and I are on the leaderboard by comments and not on karma board. \n\nThat’s enough Reddit for me. Time to touch some ass.
You trade full time?
you have to go to mars to get it
Rumor is he's one of Peter Theil's boys
Kinda bottoming now , don’t you think ?
Two dip buying opportunities in 1 term?? I'm tired of winning
Cause you did it all backwards, you were supposed to get depressed first, then get a kid, family and then a tech job
Meditation. At first it feels pointless but once you learn to stop being so self conscious it feels good\n\nGet a timer that beeps when its done. That way you know youre not gonna go over
Yeah you got that right. You can bomb the shit out of Iran and all you bombing is sand rock and camel turds
Sounds like it smells
Get mad wasted and start smoking. Stress goes down, you feel better. But the chances of cancer goes up. At least you can live longer
Have an emergency hoard of cash
I have a serious question: how old were you, if you were alive at all, when the US invaded Iraq?
Buy calls at put walls, buy puts at call walls?
My hypothesis is that countries with squat toilets are less obese than countries with seat toilets simply because they have to squat their body weight everyday just to use the restroom.
is she indian?
Next time just ask her boyfriend to take her.
None of it works without Power and Electricity, that's the safer bet they have Profits!
Houthi and the Blowfish
This guy shreads
Sure but it’s an L. I think more pain would need to be felt before they accept that. Plus Israel isn’t going to go along with it
Divorce
This is not a bear thesis, this is AI slop
The best way to fix the economy is increase rent by 500% more and mortgage rates at least 30%. Housing should be for only the elites and hedgies. Rest of the bottom 95% should have mandatory 200 sq ft housing and work 70 hours a week at minimum wage.
They are great for cleaning out the barrel of a naval cannon
If stress is a killer ill be dead in a few years... I mean 4hours of sleep and 20 stressed is rough. Whats the play? Whats the medicine?
I hear those fancy 5d theaters pipe in the authentic india smell
Is being a rich European the ultimate goal to have in life? Living in Europe is way better than living in the US and being rich makes sure you dont have to deal with all the brokeness that comes from living in Europe
Those sound like some fun night clubs tbh.
Puts on Microsoft. ITM calls on petroleum companies. If ETFs open green, 3-4 dte puts when it inevitably tanks on Thursday and Friday.
Another Pizza suggestion after the olive oil tip from yesterday. \n\nDon’t be a lazy ass and buy shredded mozzarella cheese. Get an unshredded one and shred it yourself with a grater.
https://preview.redd.it/wo1e92umxurg1.jpeg?width=1320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e63b1487888260049fa6fa9be41398316e8b169
They cried this time last year too when the bottom fell out. Let them fall for it again.
Bullish AI, literally everyone on reddit has been screaming "AI bubble about to pop". Always do the opposite of what reddit "investors" are doing.
Houtis using chatgpt I know it
We need china to take taiwan and we can buy spy at 200
*so far\n
Here to report after checking the damage of this past week, there are no boobs on the ground, my portfolio has officially gone tits up.
They can't make cheap missiles. They used to be able to make cheap drones, but all of their manufacturing capability is getting destroyed. Why do you think the steel plants were blown up yesterday?\n\nI'm older than you. The same scenarios played out similarly in Iraq and Afghanistan. Neither of them had the ability to fight conventionally. \n\nThey're able to hold the strait because of their remaining drones and missiles. It's not because of any remaining navy or air force. They're using radio to communicate to the ships. \n\nOut of 1000s and 1000s of of sorties Iranians are celebrating that they grazed 2 fighters. Apparently, you're impressed by this.\n\nTheir ability to fight "asymmetrically" continues to be reduced daily. \n\nEvery piece of intelligence shows the number of missiles and drones they started the war with. There is a range. They didn't have millions of drones and missiles to begin with. The number they shoot daily continues to drop every week. At the beginning of the war they were sending 100s a day. Now some days it is less than 10. \n\nYou keep saying they're cheaper to make, which is true, but they have to be able to make them. You think we didn't know where they were being built? They can't make drones in a backyard or someone's shed at scale. \n\nCountries like the UK & France joining the theater adds pressure to the equation. France has already sent their largest carrier, the Charles de Gaulle, to the region. That's more than a strongy worded letter. The UK is already proving missile and drone defense to Arab countries. \n\nAgain, they will forfeit soon, or they will die fighting.
As in cum back? Probably a few liters. I hadn't nutted for a few days so that tracks
hell no
Ha! you said it, if someone said were doing last years shit again this year 2 months ago i woulda laughed at them
SPY is yo uncle obv but why do you call yoself 600?
I think Iran will not escalate this conflict on its own. It will follow tit-for-tat which makes it troublesome for USA and Israel. USA and Israel can escalate or continue to bomb Iran (nothing left at Iran to bomb while Iran has plenty of potential targets)
Once they kick that in you will basically be forced to give up all your rights in return for the income…… sounds like a great deal right?
What Kim Kardashian’s get on her back
Seems like natural gas prices has barely been bothered with this war.
deadass, bro?
Right now? Sell every stock you own lol.
wife dragging me to an Indian movie tn and it’s fucking 4 hrs long. popping edible now
Damn why does it line up so well 😭 he will really make it repeat 1 to 1...
Society is slop and people are not groomed for the future
Eventually but monday is up
god blessed me with unnatural abilities
This is a very good truism. Well done.
Nope. But married someone smart who realized wasting more than a few grand on a ring was a really stupid idea.
What’s the point of buying far ITM puts, the high delta? Is it essentially shorting shares at that point?
What’s your biggest comeback?
Buy high sell low until you need food stamps then profit
They should take a good look at Oracle to see what happens when you go full regard on AI
No way spy has a 5% day Monday
Ive been riding MTZ since last year. Think it is finally topping. Locked in some gains and going to ride the rest out.
Take a nice sunny vacation if you haven’t in a while. Try to keep your thoughts present when on vacation
To disagree
He got brutally framemogged by asu frat leader
You know your news sources are overwhelmingly censored when you don't realize how much is popping off right now.
if oil wasnt impacted stocks wouldnt really care about the war at all
They are called Yhooters and Yhookers
Jes buy dat shit lo an sell hi, you hear me boy?
The motor on the winch that makes it go away during the day is broken. Production is working on it as we speak. This all just a dream Truman.
Unexpect the expected
alright boys time to go drink beer and yell at a TV in a public place
Is your cousin an ape? Because ape together strong
Nah nobody gives a fuck about his fake agreement shit anymore. First signs of corroboration of peace talks from Iran there will definitely be a pump, but Trump’s tweets mean nothing.
Wish i had money to trade
sir, this a wendells
This time might be a little different. You can't bomb a country that survived the stone age, remembers it, and expect it to go well.
weird. i can only poop while i’m walking
Why??
Gotcha. It has been a bull market since 2020. I guess it’s time to sell soon
Letitia James?
🍊 man just threatened Iran again on Truth btw \nWe are by all definitions FUCKED \nBoob, dick, legs, boots are most definitely will be touching ground
Sure. Just win more money than you lose\n\nIts simple
lol ok
So only when they back off from Iran, we’ll have a bear market? 🤩
Sweet home Alabama 🥰
Israel moment
I sit to pee and stand to poo
He’s been panic taco ing for a week
don’t trade on Wednesday
Had a weird dream about my cousin 🙈
this is the way
I heard that hooters or hookers from Yemen join war 😳
I stand up when I sleep
I'd take hardware progress stuck at exactly Sept 10th 2001 forever if it would unfuck the last 25 years.
Guys does anyone have any advice on how to make money in the stock market?
Sounds good. Get a trust fund going for the kid, buy some extra property too before the dollar hyperinflates and then transition fully into part time work when you're like 45-50 and enjoy life.
Nike puts?
most of the ships are not Iranian, they're privately owned, and the oil belongs to whoever bought it (China and India). If the US wants to start burning Chinese and Indian oil out at sea, this will get a lot worse.
Well inflation is increasing right now so...
Gonna be real with you guys, sometimes i sit down to poop.
Latest post on Truth. SPY touches 600 this week
I can’t wait for the pump Lol.. trump is gonna 🌮
Israel doing Israel tings
Agree with this post.
Retards have it easy actually.  It's the regular folks who have it hard.
> Israel has killed three journalists in a targeted strike on their car in southern Lebanon.\n\nhttps://www.aljazeera.com/news/liveblog/2026/3/28/iran-war-live-trump-again-slams-natos-lack-of-support-for-war-on-tehran
Houthis have entered the chat
If you at the front of the line on the embassy roof in Saigon
Why would u even invest such an amount in SNAP of all companies
He looks happy
Was it bear market due to US withdrawal or was it due to rising interest rates from inflation?
When your sister will be looking for a boyfriend, send me DM!
There is too much single source risk, the main "Starlink" clients are Governments as per their own website crowing about it.
Well I see that it’s only half your portfolio so I mean sell the rest and dollar cost average to about $5.50. It will hit $7-10 again one day
Never let a trade become an investment
Right? Who needs college when we have ChatGPT
I always do in my own house. Why make a mess?
Gift one to mangoman.
The stock market isn’t open, what would be the point of posting if he can’t manipulate the market?
Thw thing is, you cannot trust data released by this admin so I don't think the employment data would matter
Crimes don't matter anymore if you haven't noticed
Gonna be real with you guys, sometimes i sit down to pee.
Houthis hit a ship in the Red Sea this week, SPY to 600
Boring weekend no news
Because it's compounded daily. \nIn a super bull market it will grow more than 3x \nIn a choppy or bear market it will decay and die faster than underlying. \n\n\nIf you margin call it's simple interest. \nSpxl is compounded daily. That's the best way to explain it I think you can figure out the rest.
So many names I wish I didn’t know like why is this clavicular guy in my feeds. It’s like that hawk thua girl
Hey Elon, where is that high universal basic income you talk about, I need it right now
Neither do sandals and look where that got the Vietcong
Every time I see SoftBank invest billions it burn down.
Look at his eyes
FYI, the Houthis in Yemen just got involved today. They had been waiting on the sidelines but now launched a bunch of missiles at Israel.\n\nThe last formal conflict they were in was with Saudi Arabia for a couple years and the best Arabia could do was essentially a draw despite all their US weaponry.
"I saw the turd, and the turd was me"
Sounds like a pretty retarded thing to do. I give it about 2 week until the admin tries to do this
Not even a point in doing that I'm just waiting until my AI welfare that Elon keeps talking about
the only true art form
I wonder if they stick the really big guys on like embassy guard assignments to impress overseas visitors. Where else would you put a 7 foot tall marine?
It was me
Someone left a turd in my toilet
Potatoes Up and Tech Extinct!
Count your blessings and stop comparing yourself to others and get drunk once in a while
Somebody hasn't checked move or popcorn prices lately. It would cost at least double that.
it's nice that we can endlessly bomb countries to the stoneage and suffer no consequence whatsoever
people keep saying wars are bullish but its only bullish if you win, in 1973 the year the US withdrew from Vietnam there was a bear market.\n\n
Totally Agree! The whole global market is in a bubble. Everywhere you look New companies with Zero Track record except for cash burn, Zero Profits and Zero returns with outrageous [valuations.It](http://valuations.It) is the same a saying you own your 1.5 Million Dollar House when the Mortgage is 15 million. And now with the Missile-Pallooza going on the global economy is stating to Realize the only things worth money are food, Housing,electricity and Fuel. The Markets did this before " the Great Depression " Every inch of this has been fostered and propped up by "Government Spending" well the debt clock shows the world is out of Cash!
Bone spurs in his head prevent him from combat duty. He will have to serve his country from the options market
Art of the Deal
Make sure your physician writes you an exemption from sex-having.
It is interesting. It's really the idea that everyone knows things are bad, but I think they are worse and the solutions are more difficult and Iran has more control than the media says. I mean if the most powerful navy/airforce hasn't made the spice flow yet, tells you all you need to know. Iran has "nothing" to lose/is in a stronger position than many people like/want to admit regardless of political beliefs.
I’m on the spectrum
Considering they are also associated with the term “alternative facts”. Does it surprise you when they change the meaning to fit their narrative?
Drones are cheap as hell dude
Nether storm
I’m waiting for a manipulation smack down of oil before I do options. Already in companies with shares
College is a way to gatekeep knowledge. Its just a matter of buying the right kind of knowledge.\n\nHigher education has always been a way to gatekeep cultural belonging, upper class mobility, and knowledge
College proves you are trainable, or at least it is supposed to.
Fake agreement tweet on Monday morning. SPY pump to 660, oil to $90. Iran says it’s “fake news” .. drop to SPY 650, oil to $100. Boots on ground next week.
thanks man
Those are nice.
And they are getting an additional 48b in debt.
I have a bone spur in my cock. Ladies?
yea shoulda bought the apr 10th
Yeah he won the national math comp in china. And he doesn't even speak English
Why not both?
We already know where it's going: to the right, dummy
Still waiting for boobs on the ground? \n\nI present you, even better, the Japanese pair of tits \n\nhttps://japannews.yomiuri.co.jp/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/9450715-1.jpg
Who TF started college, man fuck you. I just wasted money for what. To shitpost on wsb? College/uni shouldn't even exist, just put people into jobs and train them
Not much. May or may not dip in to the 50s.
You genuinely think they have infinite leeway to increase price?
Israel will ensure that this doesn't happen.
Fortunate son intensifies
This is the dumbest conflict the US has ever started
Like what? I haven’t heard anything interesting true or false.
to what?
now *that’s* what i call a reacharound
Thanks. I hope you get one too.
Learn to trade
I will personally close the Gay of Hormuz and the Bab el-Gaydeb Strait, starting from NOW.
When you start having kids with your tech job family, it can cause workplace issues
Behind. We keep having "once in a generation" shocks that has crippled the confidence of young people. Combined with the destruction of third spaces and social skills, largely due to social media, meaningful relationships have become difficult to attain. Starting a family seems like an impossible task when you work 16 hours days just to make sure you aren't laid off when the next "once in a generation" event happens. So we spend all of our money gambling like degenerates in the hope that we attain financial security and thus the confidence to stop working so fucking hard and maybe, just maybe find a partner. This has been my TED talk. Also, puts next week.
I’m at the end of the autism curve
Might be sooner than we think, apparently 🥭 is thrilled by the n word.
i bet it is man, 6100 is def gonna be support
Why
crocs dont seem like a durable material
not really. their denials are just confirmation of what we already know
Oh don’t you worry about my beacons they’re spaced perfectly
From her boyfriend. Tell her to get her tubes tide
Junk debt, junk sector, junk management, junk company
Is he Chinese? If not I’m not interested
Damn how's Crocs doing? I remember the went to the moon during COVID .
i kinda wanna build a new PC, but I kinda want to access another timeline first
Get some Lexapro. Did wonders for me in same situation.
When they start explaining that tactical nukes are not real nukes then I'll get worried
Based
This sure is feeling real WeWork at this point
Start going for walks outside
https://preview.redd.it/7roodgfcvurg1.png?width=1052&format=png&auto=webp&s=e3c6e268e3cb0b3cc07b4426a809f24266173fac
I think us and Iran may have reached an agreement
Fuck no. Why in case I need it like 3 times out of the year. That’s a pack of condoms. I would if I started an affair though
They are going to give our troops Crocs to wear so it’s not technically boots on the ground
If you think about it deeply\n\nWe are here for a temporary time so it doesn't matter if you rich or poor\n\nYou might have a better experience if you are rich but it doesn't really matter if you think about it
This place gives me joy
There’s a lot of money sitting underneath the farmland market. \n\nWe’re not going to see more than a 20% correction in the next five years.
Thursday?
That only works if your beacons are well spaced.
Kill someone who’s tough to kill
I’ll be waiting
ask 🥭 jr lol. literally made one last week
And they’ll dump bounds
My strategy \n\n\nDon't sell anything\n\n\nWait a little bit\n\n\nStart buying stuff again
Shhhhhhhhhh dont spill the goods.
i think most even expect it because there has been nothing but escalation the past month (in terms of whats real)
Looks like you're not fucking eating either\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Again, for the same shit than yesterday?
The Retarded Iran War is the grand finale of the US decoupling itself from everyone else in all the ways the US worked decades to have\n\nTrump will do everything he can to make sure America pays so that he never does
I was early. In always early, dammit
You're completely wrong
965 a pop. shooting for 30%
The same western technology protection that has led the US to abandon many of its bases in the region? \n\nOr maybe there’s a special one that’ll protect bridges in Saudi but not US bases.
This week I’m going to use triangulation to confirm the market’s direction
You may ask yourself: How did I get here?
Just because I really like trains doesn’t mean I don’t like dinosaurs.
I'm gonna start a killer drone startup, how do I get a gov contract?
But have you seen my quant?
Handjob Hill
Good thing you don't drive much.
It’s gonna be another brutal week to be a retard 100%
aside from the global volatility\n\nyou have to realize that the possibilities stemming from AI are still yet to be fully fleshed out which means that you don't know what all these companies are worth \n\nvaluations have to come down before the race starts
Ukraine killed 40% of russia's export capacity yesterday...
Stroke?
Does it worry anyone else that Fox news is bringing on pundits talking about how a ground invasion isn't really boots on the ground?
Forget the Hot Waitress Economic Index.\n\nThe WSB Sydney Sweeney Indicator is where its at. The more Sydney Sweeney comments there are on WSB the better the stock market is doing. \n\nSydney Sweeney comments use too be so common back we were in a bull market. Fully covniced you nerds lost too much to have the energy to goon.
What is this, the philosophy channel?
I have assembled over 30 remote control model boats. Gentlemen we sail for antigua at dawn
we shall all meet by and by
Orange man don’t like market down. Something is up.
Gas too expensive to afford WW3
At a quick glance, I thought it was Stanley Tucci.
Hard to say. Monday will show if institutions are done selling for now, or if they are at least willing to take a break from it. They seemed to be in a relative hurry on Friday.
i believe it’s akshually Bunch of Crunch
Working from home has perks
No quant model will be able to predict the upcoming US Iran trade deal and that's why I will buy calls
What's wrong with me, I have a tech job family kid, no debt but still depressed wtf
I don't think sub 6000 is out of the question
And the new Ayatollah called to me crying “Sir, we are lousy at fighting, we can’t take it anymore. Can we just name the strait after you, the “Great strait of Trump” and we can split the toll with you personally?”
I don't take it in the back, not at the moment anyway. Maybe when I lose my fortune I will meet you behind a wendys
Hi guys just turned 68, should I level in Netherstorm or Shadowmoon Valley
Try angulate deez nuts
🥭 meeting at 6:30
They could target all civilian infrastructure while still being protected by Western technology
Very true
Monday will be +/- 0.1%.
>Over 11,000 targets have been hit in Iran\n\nLol holy hell what a regard. Do you have a tracker? How many 'targets' are left? How many targets do you think we hit in Iraq and Afghanistan before those troops went in? Do you havr any idea how much mofe cheaply and quickly they can replenish their missiles and drones compared to ours? \n\n>This is Iran getting annihilated\n\nHomie, what color Kool-aid is in your cup? Do you really actually think hitting buildings with bombs in a country with decades of preparation and under-mountain bunkers will make them "annihilated?" Genuine question, are you even 18? \n\n>Their top layers of leadership have all been killed.\n\nReplaced and filled in with the next members up and covered by horizontal leadership structures as well. \n\n>Their navy is destroyed. Their air force is destroyed.\n\nInteresting. Is that why they still hold the Strait closed and are able to get payments from some countries to permit them to pass safely? \n\n>Their air defense, which was shit to begin with, is mostly destroyed.\n\nMy brother in christ they just hit an F35 and an F18. \n\n>The US & Israel are flying around Iran like it's the friendly skies\n\nSee above, again. \n\n>In what conventional war metric is Iran winning? None.\n\n\nThey aren't fighting a conventional war, bozo. They are fighting asymetrically. \n\n\n\n>The only thing they have left is a dwindling supply of missiles and drones that they won't be able to replace.\n\nBased on what intelligence? Theirs are much cheaper to make than our missiles. \n\n>They're lucky the US has kept the other gulf nations at bay. \n\nLmao. \n\n>There is a growing coalition to open and protect the strait that includes the UK & France\n\nIf wr had them "annihilated" why do we neex the UK and France? And what, exactly, are they doing to change the situation? Writing strongly worded warnings to the UN? \n\n>The last card they hold, controlling the strait, will not be allowed by the rest of the world. \n\nIt currently is\n
I’d like it to go up Monday to unload my SPY bags I picked thinking 640 was a good entry.
Ya
my shits expire on friday.... should've bought longer dated
Are you talking about the chemtrails and COVID being done by the deep state? Because that's true
Take it back
too soon man Apr 9th
You ARE the father. I am the mother. 🤱
Yes I took two but only cause my school wanted it otherwise I wouldn't have.
I'm probably on the curve.
Definitely not now.
Must be very expensive those puts are.. how much gains you think you will make off of
You haven’t put fuel in car in 25 plus days?
its ackshually called a Bunch of Crows
dont worry man its only a dead cat, im bullish as shit but this going down another 5%
True. And to be fair if the average Joe complains, they should pull themselves up by their bootstraps and own an oil company
Unmarried?
Damn bro go outside more
A lot of fake news and misinformation spreading this weekend
OP packing the fries in the bag whilst trying to teach us how to navigate a bear market
I'll do by the end of the year
I’m starting to get a real feeling Monday is going to be green. Not like limit up or anything, just like casually +0.5% or something.
The AI WeWork
You know how I know you're fake? Because you can't even write the word retard like a true degenerate.
You realise it’s not one or the other right? There are more ways to play a market than long and short. You can also be short short term and long long term… or delta neutral and playing vol, or a multitude of other combos.
Yeah I thought it was an app for young hustlers looking to get their money up. So You can probably imagine my confusion when I went to a meetup to discuss business ideas but ended up leaving with a sore ass!
damn im holding puts and its definitely gonna spike up 2% on monday
You can hypo my tenuse any time big boy, know what I is sayin?
Or they'll get a sneak attack
Oh Snap 🫰
How abou czar czar binks?
I think Mongo is mulling options for a full TACO
I think we'll be down just under 1% tomorrow, possibly a few flat days but if we're looking at a ground invasion on the long weekend I suspect we'll be below 620 by Thursday.
Lol they needed the Brits and Yanks to help them fuckin shoot the things at Yemen
nice man congrats, i wish i owned a house
Monday gonna be crazy
Deez nuts
WallStreetBers
Liberation day 2.0. Calls it is
It doesn't get better anytime soon
I'm sure they want to keep having 1000s of bombs dropped on them. Sounds fun & exciting.
The market will go up next week if there’s no new infrastructure destroyed. That should make you feel a little better.
If you’re under 30, are you behind in life?\n\nYou could use money to justify your place but are you ahead of the curve or behind?
You guys mearly adopted the regardedness. I was born in it, molded by it
He could drop a nuke as we speak or pull all U.S forces out and make it the world’s problem. He has to many yes men around him.
unprofitable. Priced for future growth expectations, 70% of business is MSFT. If they cut back or spending or reduce dependence stock will tank. Rallied after IPO and is now on a bear channel heading back to reality.\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/ryyy455zturg1.jpeg?width=3634&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a7f0d66a162c0e34521b679810854d387ab820a6
Hi I hear you guys get escort services all the time, can any of those help escort the crude tankers through Hormuz?\n\nI mean they are used to dealing with slow uninsurable crude guys right?
You are not the father
You took the "vaccine" didn't you?\n\nEasy to tell
It’s called a Murder of Crows
$75.88
Nothing the US and Israel aren’t already doing. Nothing significant would change in Tehran. The only differences would be in Riyadh.
That’s an interesting topic I would like to hear more about
Which would prompt Iran to destroy even more oil, water, and electrical infrastructure in American allies in the region. \n\nThe only good option at this point is for the US to abandon the middle east entirely
Rude. You can take half of 'em .
Why would there be a +2% during the week?
That still is just sucking big debt numbers into a larger one, even if the IPO goes to plan he will have to show his actual cash burn on all his (SpaceX) umbrella.) First it was cars then x then Giant car presses then Robots? \n\nMeanwhile China took his car supremacy, and ate his lunch. And at CES Chinese robots were doing Martial arts and dancing meanwhile Melania can barely get a robot not to fall over in the whit house.
I bought calls expiring Tuesday, right before close on Friday…I sure hope so
im fully run through
I'm not entirely sure here. If Israel and USA literally just left Iran is only going to continue to piss off everyone else if they keep the strait closed. I think the Chinese pressure alone would probably make them reopen it voluntarily. I don't think either Israel or the US or anyone else would really like the government that raises from those ashes but I think that's inevitable anyways.
First time filling up the tank after the war started. Damnnnn
I feel the urge to make an obscene banbet if there’s any halts on Monday.
Supposedly only around a third of their missiles have been destroyed, I suspect they can keep it up for quite a while.
I guess you could say the top was in. Now we're bottoming.
Calls on dope(s).
If there's no positive news this weekend I reckon we open a bit down or flat and close -2 to -4%
agree w this post !!!
👻
scare meeee
Anthony Bourdain ask from grave do you want bread to this set
Anthropic is way better. And Google. OpenAI is gonna lose.
These corrections are long overdue.
No truth posted in last 24 hours. Either discussions going very well or they will get another 30 days of pause from strikes
Perfect timing too , as Unilever just spun off the magnum ice cream company…tmicc
Duh. I play 0dte on my fun account and been buying puts for past weeks. My history has been nothing but making fun of bols. That don't mean i will die on recession hill that perma bers are clamoring for 🤣
I finally sold two orders last week that had been sitting around for a couple of years.
Calls for Mon/Tues then puts
And they said “Thank you, Sir, we’ll never be able to make it up to you!”, and I said “You’re, welcome!”
Lern mafs
downvotes prove ur on the right path bud. they dont want this to be known. lock your doors and windows tonight
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a sink?\n\nDwayne
Everybody a czar these days
A flock of Crows fly in such a disorganized pattern. They should learn from other birds and try angulation.
If you were someone like Iran wouldn't you spread a reserve of your essential military industrial equipment all over the place so if one factory complex gets hit you can bring it all together again somewhere else and start producing again. I expect that there are many underground factories and storage facilities everywhere too. If I thought of it you can bet they have a long time ago.
We don't want kids so I would but my wife is pretty much infertile and takes birth control for the underlying condition of that so I haven't bothered
Uncle Sam? More like Uncle Scam
Ok Heff...
Saudi could level Teheran now that they have no air defense
everyone is bearish and says puts , so maybe calls , i expect red pre-market and then recovery
Commodities do go negative sometimes - remember when oil did that? Just wait for gold to do the same thing!
Whooo man, 10k 😳😳 we are gambling max 50 bucks here
More or less. Usually coast on 1.5 but yes. 2 shots in the morning, and a glass with coke in the evening with food.
Im holding off on any oil buys as knowing trump he'll say something that'll immediately flip the market sending everything else up for a few days with oil roaring nack down to probably around 85 again\n\nThen imma put some dosh in
Since the shut down will extend to mid April, a slump is within reason.
You will find out tomm evening
Show us on the graph
Fair. But it also reeks of desperation trying to drum up hope around something that has been happening for weeks with little impact. Just factually tho, those pipelines throughput is dogass. Maybe instead of wasting time/money building “The Line” Saudis should have built “The Pipe-line”.
Iran is already an obliterated mess. The gulf nations could finish the job. And they wouldn't be as nice about it. Iran is lucky the US has kept them at bay.
3-4 dte puts if it opens green on monday. Freak the fuck out if it tanks at open.
Other options like driving a convoy of gold plated Ferraris up and down the same street repeatedly for no reason?
Put, but I bet there will be a rally(+2%) in the week.
Closed and locked in the gains. Would’ve been 1000% if i held to expiry.
I’m a carboy fan myself. Making beer was fun.
Are my 4/2 QQQ 582 calls cooked?
Not quite
Lol gotem
We are the last seconds before you brain run out of oxygen
Smart. The whole $10K port?
Yes, being a bear is expensive.
Read the replies if you care. I ain't repeating same shit over and over. You perma bers need to chill with doom and gloom.
Lol the regard speaking confidently has no positions? Sounds about right.
It's all about the BAB EL-MANDEB strait now
Nice try…
Puts or Calls on SPY next week?
It's the chemtrails
Triangulate deez nuts
Yeah that's right. I heard that too. That's why they shut down Alex Jones, he exposed the truth
You should surround yourself with less crazy people.
This. Even if they go to Venezuela the infrastructure is just not there. Will take couple of years to get this project off the ground.
I would go Andorra or Liechtenstein. Plenty of mountains to hide in, not a significant military force, an abundance of rich tourists and residents... and no one ever talks about these countries in the news, so you're unlikely to garner any significant attention.
Pipelines are like railroads; they are comparatively cheap and easy to repair. They aren't something you want to burn missiles or drones on when there's better stuff to shoot at (like AWACS planes, apparently).
Finna go to the smoke shop, I'll see if I can broker a peace deal with the Iranian owners while I'm there
It takes you a week to finish a bottle?
I’m so retarded it hurts
Selling whole portfolio Monday at a loss and going to wait until this next inevitable reversal ends to buy at the top.
😡😡😡
It’s news of the market decides it’s news. Even if you’re right.
Fr
I heard from someone that covid was fake and that it was just them chem trailing the sky more heavily with more aluminum. Honestly that would not be impossible for them to do, what proof do we even have that it was a virus
They are obviously looking for bag holders.
$ACHR bag holders
Thats an interesting topic I would like to hear more about
a no nut yolo?
It showed up on my twatter feed today sport
She will be showing traits of her pus
Is this a thing?
If you are at the back on the line, you do all the pushing....just saying.
We are Ber we carry the flame
Could not have used a calculator, the massive debt number is too large.
this thread feels exactly the same as recess at the psych ward
Earth's a big space ship and we're flying closer to the moon now.
No one knows what the true deficit is and it's definitely not Bessent napkin math
You born 14 years ago?
Triangulate Deez Nuts, lmao
Working on it.
Outside the US obviously
Hey that’s u/smart_doge’s schtick
Left tit, right tit. Big tit, small tit. Natural tit, fakenews tit.
Fuck no. What if I decide when I'm 70 that I want to have kids with my hot 20-year old wife?
Triangulation
Aww why so angry, big boi 🤣🤡
What’s the big things you have learned
Coml comoran
If someone could make a comment including the word “triangulation” so I can reply back “triangulate deez nuts” that would make my day
why is it 3pm and super sunny out BUT I CAN CLEARLY SEE THE MOON during the day\n\nthis wasn’t like this 15 years ago\n\nthey’re not telling us something
There will be flying cars for some people.  Not anyone on Reddit tho
Will she be escorting down the Straits of Hormuz?
name tits
I will soon be banned, but I ask my fellow bears to carry on the torch of dunking on these dumb fuck bulls in my absence. God speed ✊
UAE ADCOP also has been running at its terrible capacity of 1.5m bpd.
Totally agree The Valuation is at 1.25 to 1.5 Trillion on a reported 8 Billion of EBITDA earnings. Simple math on python it will take 156 years and 3 months to make the 1.25 Trillion Back. By any investor metrics the Valuation is nuts for a plan that will take more than Elons life to complete. After all his own words when asked by a reporter "I may not live on mars".\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/olfp93wdsurg1.png?width=1249&format=png&auto=webp&s=354009795d49721d371e5552163143549b82b7c5\n\nNumbers do not lie!
My wife says there are still chances of getting pregnant after a vasectomy
My port has had one already
Retesting 600 easy
That just means the oil has to go through the Bab Al Mandab instead and the Houthis just joined the war. Only way out now is to go to Suez (so limited to only sues max tankers) and then around the whole Africa to get to Asia. Still a massive disruption/capacity loss.
This shit is too big to taco
A 50/50 allocation in tech and energy has not had a negative year since 2020 just saying
Girl, I can't understand it, why you want to hurt me\n\nAfter all of the things I've done for you\n\nI buy you champagne and roses, put diamonds on your finger\n\nAnd still, you hang out all night\n\nWhat am I to do?
Reddit is so ass with bots it’s crazy
Very nice. Where do you check tbose credit spreds..?
Yes, plus you get to watch Netflix for a week on the couch until you heal up.
She’s the lead negotiator
No, I don't want to let all the microplastics out
Name fits.
Saudi Petrolone has been operating at max capacity for weeks. This isn’t news. There is also ADCOP to UAE operating at max capacity. Both have dogshit throughout. 7 million bpd for Petroline and 1.5 million bpd for ADCOP
Ask us again in 3 years.
Positions or stfu.
What?
You go into debt and gamble with that money, on pure hope?\n\nYou have no idea how much risk you're taking. This war is already quite unprecedented in its economic effects (incoming with a lag) and it has only started!
It’s time for twitter check if you can understand us leader post, it time to go to the bed
Well the market seems to disagree with you, lil fella.  But I’m sure you’re the smartest among all your troglodyte peers.
If they short-sheet holding a piece of ground in the ME, it doesn’t matter how big the military is. Exposed chess pieces will be taken if not protected.
I mean wasn't that already known?
> They both have been at 100% capacity but they have dogshit throughput so it’s barely even noteworthy.\n\n7m barrels is most of Saudi's capacity. Their max is 12m but they usually don't pump more than 9-10m per day.
Over 11,000 targets have been hit in Iran. They're decimated. You can't even call this a "war". This is Iran getting annihilated. Their top layers of leadership have all been killed. Their navy is destroyed. Their air force is destroyed. Their air defense, which was shit to begin with, is mostly destroyed. The US & Israel are flying around Iran like it's the friendly skies. They're flying 100s of sorties every day. In what conventional war metric is Iran winning? None.\n\nThe only thing they have left is a dwindling supply of missiles and drones that they won't be able to replace. They're lucky the US has kept the other gulf nations at bay. That could change, though. \n\nThere is a growing coalition to open and protect the strait that includes the UK & France. The last card they hold, controlling the strait, will not be allowed by the rest of the world. \n\nIt's simply a matter of time that they forfeit or die fighting.
\n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 4 | **First Seen In WSB** | 1 week ago\n**Total Comments** | 8 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 1 week | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
Both can be true
How old r u now if u don’t mind me asking
Yup; just a veiled pump for PSKY to be picked up by algo sentiment scanners (paid for by whatever hedge fund is stuck holding a big PSKY bag after the deal fell through lol)
They won't do shit because once the US backs off and 🥭 gets bored they will be on their own.
Merlin made the dragon fog and then acted all surprised when it got used for sex.
Explain how this mystical taco will play out. Hey Iran, you can take control of the strait. Israel? Nah man, they're chill, don't worry about them.
610 buds
Vouch matter of fact triple vouch
This shit expires literally on Monday... dude paid for 2 days of theta where the market isnt even open lmao
Be careful shorting CRWV. As terrible as the balance sheet looks, prices for H100 rentals have been holding strong and actually increasing recently. Unless that changes meaningfully, the business is likely to do just fine in the current compute demand environment.
Boobs on the ground confirmed.\n\nSydney Sweeney arrived in Iran.
Happened during Covid. More than once. I think it even turned green after a circuit breaker.
Credit Spreads are cheap af. Just don't get greedy with the strikes.
Enshitification
I don't know but TACO is real. 500% was good enough to close no?
392 you are fine
2 hours ago
Most of that have pumped quite hard already.\n\nAnd likely to dump if we enter a deeper recession which will cause a demand destruction (of oil).\n\nBut longterm they should be good positions. European and Chinese companies should do well.\n\nI'm looking to buy once they start dumping.
> If it goes green on a false taco.\n\nI can't believe this is a real sentence someone really wrote and that really means something. What a timeline...
Not always true! With Microsoft, the bottom is negative.
These strawberries we bought on sale at Vons are pretty good.
What’s vasectomy?\n\n^(\- father of 9 kids)
You are loved by everyone. You just don’t realize it.
Hell, get one if you aren't married too
Yes after kid.
British Broadcasting did a special on all the antiquities the Pope / Catholic church is holding, and that it would wipe out poverty, if they were to liquidate them.
Sell now you still have something remaining
That was the beginning of last week.
it did lol
9.9 million, which is a discount compared to other greedy folks around here, MrBeast.
Yeah we had a few circuit breakers. \n\nThat was podracing!
No
Well dayum I'm in.
Brother I've been going through a Jim bean bottle a week for the past 4 months. I don't even leave for work before I had 2 shots to start the day
No tax, good margin, constant demand, sounds good.
😂😂😂 nice one
Married men, do you get a vasectomy or not
Where do you want it..?
$1M would pretty much set me up to coast to retirement.
Winter\n\nI’m planning my own version of Oceans’s 11 but it’ll be called Valkorion’s 13