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Hurry the fuck up already
Paid in may by the Bers of ghey or something
another day another +1%?
It's fake
I'm not saying you're wrong, but we aren't dealing with sane people anymore, and I've gotten absolutely blown out thinking this way haha
The going up will continue until...nothing. It'll just go up
Google gains lost
Again?? We haven't been rugged in over a year
Ahh that was my question thanks. That makes sense, still cheap esp since it's ibkr
Open the fkin casino
Space Bros....lets fly today.....
I'm not a Stars fan but I gotta say, I think it's bullshit that complete powerhouse teams like them, the Wild and the Avs have to play each other SO EARLY in the playoffs. Like the Stars - Wild series felt like a conference final.
Maybe sell
Hoping for a rip to eod but it’s feeling like a profit taking day into the weekend.
#Ban Bet Lost\n\n/u/80s_JDM made a bet that SPY would go to 707.48964 within **1 day** when it was 714.636 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.\n\nTheir record is now 4 wins and 15 losses\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
are u sidelined? individual names are up huge\n\nur tweaking
1 cannon job pls
People say that porn objectifies women. I say porn objectifies everyone and causes men to hyperfixate on sexuality. Take this JPM incident. People joking about how the guy liked it. I bet if they were in a situation where they were being extorted sexually when married, threatened, and drugged by their boss, they would be stressed to the point of contemplating ending it all. It just goes to show how broken the average person is that people don't see this.
Im just saying a 1% day today is SPY 729 which would be 1000 point move, 15%+ on the dot in the last 30 days.\n\nThat is the local top.
decide after 10:30
Well tell me more
So crude at 100 is just bau now?
I agree about the odds. Max long while Trump is in office - not quite.\n\nI was also on TQQQ on margin in early 2025 and ate half the tariff dip. You do have to watch out for big drawdowns but you can count on the TACO when the bond market taps Trump on the shoulder and reminds him who's in charge.
green looking real weak at open
Congratulations you crazy guy!
Europoors can't trade today.
GOOG today is my argument for fuck the PDT rule. Could have taken profits yesterday but today will just get wiped out.
721 is crazy to see
But probably pump first then dump near end of the day
Netflix is so back, they’re making AI shoes for sure
xom what you doing bro
My mohito came straight out of my mouth
SNDK is unkillable wtf
What rate do you pay?
ATM?
And not photonics but another electronics component one is VIAV. Have a tiny, negligible position just to keep an eye on it and nearly everyday I regret not buying options on small pullbacks
How much do you owe the IRS?
Being obese while being rich is actually the best. Eat alot of good food. Being fat doesn't just mean u gon a die early and stuff plus being rich means you have too doctors so they will know everything and you can get all the scans you need to see if any blockages or whatever
Open the casino 🎰 Let’s goooo
The pumpings will continue until puts expire.
Is this a private party or are we all invited?
DOW still under 50k leave them kids alone
I got in between 100-130…sold some at 155@210 and then 271…still have about 50% of my stack…I’m bearish the grids ability to meet demand and these guys are as good as of source of power as any for short time frames
In the future we'll be looking back to today as the bottom
I missed the toilet now the wife is pissed
RDDT?
lmao
Why are you still in the casino, take your winnings and leave.
Last week to get in SOUN before the earnings.
Look like Memory stocks want to pump today
You're not wrong, but man that's a nasty loss if it goes south
I'm not broke, I just trade in Iranian rial. I've got billions!
Lube your holes! It’s about to go down
I know it may be hard to comprehend, but sex differences and biological roles exist.
725
Stop the pump
I like food
Yea I hear ya. I actually had faith in PSNY cause their cars are the shit but, got burned lol.\n\n\nIdk anything about LCID cars or their business, other than they hemorrhage money like the rest of the "TSLA killers". Just a straight up gamble here
I got the fuck out last time I was green on it now I’m so much less stressed
Apparently that DOD news actually happened with GOOG and its sell the news 🤷 I thought that was a headline weeks ago. But I’m also just good at predicting shit.
duh. its friday. no sane person is holding into weekend
The only way to buy calls is at the top since we are always at the top
Yep
I did the same with Microsoft at the beginning of the year thinking the dip stopped dipping. It’s still dipping and I’m now a long term investor. God speed, regard.
I feel institutions will profit take today.
Ohhhh volume is going to be low as fuck, other countries on holiday \n\nLondon won’t be open on Monday either
Well sndk gonna fly today, doubt there will be a good entry tho.
725 eod\n\npraise be to allah
Why is Intel dead
Every weekend same story , Peace talks to be scheduled and then cancelled 😞
Marisa Tomei likes stout men
I brought APLD to you guys here months back when it was around $12...I am now bringing you $KEEL\n\nStrong APLD vibes, below WSB minimum valuation I know, hoping some of you see this early
GOOGL pls don’t
Wha happen to GOOG?
Roblox buy?
This is insanely retarded and it's probably why it worked
So thankful to AI for this masterpiece ❤️
Damn. Sold my 721 1dte calls yesterday. Took a gain but looks like I left a lot more on the table.
Fuck!!!! I convinced myself to buy calls today so now I’m wondering if that’s wrong.
Thats one way to handle inflation
I wIsh there was an ETF that could track them… :’(
You win
that's crazy that someone who is retired (no income stream via salary) would risk this type of money. so what happens if this goes the wrong way and you blow up your entire nest egg? unless you have another $10M on the side, then disregard...
I'll fook'n take it!!!
He said he's a retired software engineer.
SPY 730 0dte calls at open
nah its actually next Wednesday
Lmao came back to bers getting fried
https://preview.redd.it/gdsxos092jyg1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=662de156d354c0b19534f8f5184b724b5c8400ad
Later. Stocks only go up is what I’ve been told.
Something happening with MU\n\n
"Someone" lost money on calls? Sorry, pal.
bears have been waiting for their day for 5 consecutive weeks
Liquidate at the end of the day. We are bombing Iran again
https://preview.redd.it/g7hsjnj72jyg1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b7f9d7af8dcf587c1f69892a572cf39883308ac6\n\n
Fake meat doing protein water? \n\nLmao
Probably
You can only choose 2:\n1- Retarded\n2- Gay\n3- Poor
I don't like the liquidity and spread on QQQ/TQQQ options. My style requires me to be able to get in and out of a position quickly.
But why does the market always taketh
1400 soon....
One of us! One of us! One of us!
Holiday everywhere in the world except for the US lol
Not looking that way
SNDK 5000$ eod
It's not Twitter that says so JP Morgan themselves released a statement that they were co-workers and She was never his supervisor and he never reported to her during his time at the company. \n\nIt's absolutely possible a company would lie to cover stuff up but not lie about something so easily provable or disprovable as that. Which means at least a few of the biggest and most important parts of his story are definitely lies.
4hr...what about the 3.9hr chart tho
I JUST WANT A GIRL WHO WILL LOVE ME FOR MY VISCERAL FAT
They are pumping over there all right
bro it's +60% in 1 month, how are you bagholding?!
Correct
RDDT
Lowkey saw that coming if it actually happened. But my brain said it was happening
JPM going to pump today?
Ask a fortune teller
Idk I’m thinking more of a sour hour sell off by anyone that knows what 🥭 will do this weekend. Market is too bullish and there’s too many poots
Imagine being this dudes wife when you find out he made it all up and called you a fish head with small tits
So the usual oil drop and market pump before the weekend of potential military action.
Just you
Was next in line.
Are they gonna rug pull at open again?
lorna got me horna
Do I sell my 0dte 720 spy calls at open or later today?
Good question \nI’m selling
Speak for yourself
I don't really do private equity, I'm allergic to illiquid investments.
Nah only goes up. 730 eod
For Weimar reasons
I knew I should’ve bought those TWLO calls a few days ago.
Will apple go flat or keep its gain?
https://preview.redd.it/vyhl20py1jyg1.jpeg?width=231&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d8e0f062a0959307f0d806d030e5860527b92487\n\n
i dont get the "inverse wsb" thing, this place has just been perma bulls squawking about buying calls for 5 years
Idk I think it was kinda valid for Kendrick to make fun of Drake for being a no talent, documented pedophile.
Fuuuck . Extra Tylenol for me then. Thanks
Nah I think they had an affair and she was a dom and now he’s trying to make money
Retard
So, basically you did what VOO does.
Did you sell a startup?
Mine does - I assume I'm not alone. I'm already into margin right now but I can still buy some TQQQ if I want\n\nThat said, I don't know if the limits are different
Lorna is such a pornstar name
Massive bull flag on Silver for the 4h chart. This could rip to $150 soon
MU?
Is there a website like this. Like i know tdameritrade and schwab, but is this a custom website/interface that u can link or download? thnks
Thanks. Where do you find it?
I wouldn't touch that ticker with a 10 foot pole. Got burned on PSNY, fuck unprofitable car manufacturers, there is no money to be made there.\n\nGodspeed though
To late. But you can still swing into that land corporation.
The classics like COHR, AXTI, etc but also keeping an eye on LWLG. Feel like unless I get a good entry, I missed the boat. Just started trading/investing about 3-4 months ago. \n\nHbu?
I guarantee it has Iranian sovereignty over Hormuz and nuclear enrichment, so the US will not accept.
why does a rug pull feel imminent today
SPY 730 EOD for the vibes
is it just me or the chat today seems DED AS FUK\n\nis everyone liquidated?
Wow. From reading your comment seems like we share the same view but not the same size of Balls
I wish I knew how to get rich but I spend too much time here. Either Mr Bigballs with fuck you money or regards losing it all while cranking it on their break at Wendy’s. I can’t leave though
Lmfao 🤣 \nMango market is barely up from when he took over
Have you somehow capitalised on this for trading, or do you feel that your trading has developed separate to your software skills?
Oxy CEO retiring
Money never sleeps\n
Do u like money
I mean if you listen to the other side of the story he refused to cooperate with an investigation and several key details that he told other people were fabrications that can be confirmed like the fact that it wasn't his boss and He never answered to her, it was just a co-worker
Fuck it I'm starting every week buying SPY calls out of the money by at least 5.
the options simulator is not accounting for the 20% drop in IV lil bro, please post an update of your “gains” at open lmfao
Already rich, or already stupid lol
This whole thing gay af
Was it the cannons?
Already retired, not sure what else to do.
The war is over, time for markets to go down 💩
*This “pivot.” Is it in the room with us now?*\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wonder what artisanal pretzel company will pivot to AI and 50x today
Imagine if the deposition said she recorded her dommy acts. There would be an international effort to hack her phone for the files
Can oklo have 2 fucking days of green for fuck sake. I’m a bag holder until the end of time with this shit hawk\n
Its going to take 8mm in sales to payoff the margin and the taxes on those sales.
COIN about to have a 5%+ day, calls in the AM
Other than me
Please do. Thanks
Ahh. Finally, rotating out of chips for a bit
I would've sold
Sort of. There's definitely most mentioned tickets, but mods also will omit tickets and put others on there instead sometimes too.
Same for SOUN. Almost 40% shorted with 6 days to cover.
Did anything miss on earnings in pre market?
[ Removed by Reddit ]
How did they get the videos?!
Calls
Full porting SPY calls at open.
NBIS earnings May 13, sweating out my ass cause its 90% of my port but I really do believe 🫡
Tools my gains from yesterday out. Have a small position of 0tdesz … feel like I should not trade
My cannons are off the charts. \nBut I paid good money for them
why is everyone saying calls, i say puts
I didn't sleep well. Time to lose money and sleep
Wellness check on ber.
You can swear on here you fucking nerd
And yet...
Alphabet's Google ‌has ‌signed a deal ​with the U.S. Department of ‌Defense ⁠to use its AI ⁠models for ​classified ​work lol deal deals happening today they must have gotten their budget money now shopping!!!
Idk googl spiked more when market opened after ER im holding my 260 calls
RDDT: $250 by the end of May, $500 EOY🚀🚀🚀\n\nLet's punish the shorts today.
https://preview.redd.it/l1zhm6nk1jyg1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=139b58a55ef51df537f95e34db7a628805a3c717\n\n
member the Drake/Kendrick beef?\n\ngoy slop psy op for the 3psteinth time
740+
Lil Wayne has the best “Cannon “ mixtape and that’s the soundtrack for today
Study these words:\n\nBer anoos gap
I'm cool with either
Some awesome stock is just going to shit the bed due to delta.
Try calls on dips of your favorite companies
But I \*am\* a silly bear…
It's so hard to pick the best stocks, I decided to just equally spread my money across the 500 best companies I could find in the US stock market. Took years of research and it's hard to manage a portfolio this complex but it seems to be working
Start with 24m and lose half of it
Sandisk calls free money
teach me the ways
I strongly prefer my old Honda Civic. Not giving it up until it dies or I die.
Make it make sense
RDDT 25% day loading
I would've came
Congrats and f u
May Day or mayday?
I love money
lmao i really hope you’re trolling, get ready to learn wendy’s dumpster buddy
Iran sends latest peace proposal. Taco Friday
This is what dreams are made of!!!!!
lol if you worked at Intel and still thought these puts would print you might need to just quit now because what the fuck. They laid off all your people last 2 years while raking in contact after contract and you thought that was bearish?
Because labor day is for actual laborers who toil to keep society going and the unions fighting for their rights, not finance hobos and quant algos. The casino remains open.
You can get 730s on Webull, you have to change the settings to show all strikes
I’m in a grave need of 20k, maybe you’re feeling generous? 😀
Most people probably had the same plan. Go long and sell around 150-200k when some pump event like genius act gets signed.
cuz b\*tchez love cannons
I saw yahoo finance flash +14.18 green premarket for netflix\n\nFor a quick blip
Ummmm....\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/291bqive1jyg1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b373f1a9916803bf61d11c7e8c4cfd58fbbe564
THE MARKET IS RIGGED AND I PICK SHITTY STOCKS
Ur a sick fuck
aapl where tf do you think youre going?
Software is killing AI right now
So are we thinking 730 or 740 today? Need to take my pills accordingly
Have you considered selling and retiring?
The idea of max profit hurts my soul.
You are missing the point. Sure, SaaSpocalypse is followed by Saasdgement day, but in the end there is SaaSden of Eden restored.
Don’t take life so seriously dude. None of us get out alive
Every day is Labour Day when you put fries in bags
everyone on reddit including me are now bullish. is it time to inverse?
CANNONS
PTON
Fuck you you lucky piece of shit
Boys, we in Perfect Storm and we ain’t all making it back to shore. Some of you will become men. Others we will tell your story. The last thing you see is a wave bigger than any AI slop could ever generate.\n\nAhoy
You're welcome to watch from the closet.
Whats the general consensus? Puts or calls\n\n
Happy May Day, you communist bastards.
Easy
Sell AAPL calls right at open or see if it spikes back over 280?
RSI stands for **Retard Strength Indicator** and this market is off-the-charts.
6 months and you haven’t checked where ai is and I assume are in a bunch of ai stocks lol.
*taps head*
Hood $85
REDDDIT
That’s a poor person problem
Poor man’s squash
I would let her pill me and have her way with me, just putting it out there.
Horseshit or just coded language for hyperinflation
Meta is overhated meaning it’s time to buy, aapl also raped earnings might do a short rally to 285
They’re never going to let the poors buy the dip. Don’t you understand?
it really depends on how successful you want to be. . .
Full sending Reddit and Tesla calls today wish me luck
Above 650 has been clown car territory
why are you buying puts bru
I dont even win that much monopoly money
It only goes up
JPM is green because of spiking in men applying for jobs in their leveraged finance unit 😤\n\nBullish 🔥
Retired software engineer, so this is sort of my full time job now.
If you wanna be serious about maintaining your money but still have fun in the casino, then be diligent and put 80% of your port into simple etf's like VGT or VOO and 20% into options. You can still make satisfying gains without risking everything.
If we throw more money at AI, people will us AI!
Every time I see that guy’s douchebag frat boy mug I think *yeah he **looks** like a Spez*
I'm not dumb I'm retarded
The trick is to never leave
Rate hikes no where in sight u good
Big cannon formation on SPY today
721 is full clown car territory
american lost century in t-10 minutes.
Not a ticker shiller but if you're looking for earnings plays for next week, LCID has potential.\n\n\nSaudis and UBER own ~70% of the float, is ~30% shorted, down 33% on the month, basically all time lows.\n\n\nIf their earnings are anything less than disastrous it could pop a bit. 100% gambling but I picked up 50x 6/18 13C at like .10/ea
You 100% joined after meme stock didnt you
Queue the hyperloop and roadster
All Fridays have high put to calls. This isn't something new
https://preview.redd.it/6j41jbrz0jyg1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d09808126811d56777f5841b7f92f334de6c58b2\n\n
My main concern is that "premium eggs" can't be that hard to find. A lot of people (including me) have their own chickens. The eggs we get from our chickens, of which I only have 4 (5 before one died recently), we have to give away half of because it's too many for my family of four. We get around 2-3 eggs a day. So my main concern is... won't these millionaires who want premium eggs just get them from local chicken owners? I don't see how demand can be so stable for such an easy to obtain good.\n\nCompany may still be undervalued, but likely has a bit too fall.
Milkers
Chicken 2.0 =🤪\n\nThe crop is lost… they’re all cock’ai’d!\n\n✋ 😭 🤚 \n
Starting to make a green day to obvious!
as long as you're not a silly ber, all is well
Cause MOD think its funny?
https://preview.redd.it/7mwcqify0jyg1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2178472f4375785b9078c99f1034e53d68540a9e
Happy ath day again, big balled bulls! \n\nBear.. go sleep again. Wake up again around july/august, maybe
Microsoft deal with pentagon
Yes are you new here or just dumb
Back to being in a depression.
This is a low effort sub where gambling addicts cope via shared tragedy
I dumped the AMDL already, fine with holding AMD anywhere basically until there's clear evidence of Fed rate hikes.
\n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 4 | **First Seen In WSB** | 1 year ago\n**Total Comments** | 2414 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 1 year | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
ber fuk and gay hahaha calls all day every single day \n\n⬆️ 15\n\n \nwow everyone on WSB agrees with me, this is a notoriously good sign for my position
who invited this guy?
Labor Day in the U.S. is on 7th of September this year.
Buy MSFt
You were the cause of the divorce btw
cannons.
🫵🏳️‍🌈👨‍❤️‍👨
I had been saving all my quarters in a jar to pay for a triumphal arch, but now that’ll have to be spent on call premiums.
how do i be like you?
https://preview.redd.it/0gp5fv2t0jyg1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e93f0df33164160b316e1c883971f78cd04d1e1a\n\n
RDDT to 420
I take it all back. Give me high oil prices. At least stonks went up.
Someone will train an AI model on that story and the regards from this sub will make him rich.
Idk, my stock picks are boring I guess. Missed out on the gains, and managed minimize the losses with diversification. My holds have gone sideways since February.\n\nSince I don’t do options, the only entertainment I get from this is watching loss porn here…
2.76
\n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 3 | **First Seen In WSB** | 1 year ago\n**Total Comments** | 2414 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 1 year | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
# AI startup Anthropic commits $100 billion to Amazon's AWS over next 10 years wow money money mula
It wasn't your fault. Your mother and I are still very proud of you.
Fook the shiny old man rocks
We are definitely not outrunning debt.\n\nhttps://fred.stlouisfed.org/graph/fredgraph.png?g=1VDNx&height=490\n\nAnd if the solution continues to be faster and faster printing, it's game over for the US.
Are the tickers at the top of the thread just based on mentions? Not sure why else JPM would be there
God bless you sir, buy yourself a Porsche.
I think I'm a lifetime loser of about $5k in poker. We should team up.
Wait until he sells then it drops. Then buy enough so when he reinvests he regerts it
Racism and joking about assault is some low effort chud shit. Boring, my dudes
was looking good this morning, but alas
Relax my guy
Because you spelt it wrong
750 by eo next week, can you believe it?
Cannon boobs was a lie after all. \nMy disappointment is immense and my day is ruined.
He added google as a somewhat large position into brk's holdings. You can look up news articles about it and about the stock pump. It didn't really crash after but did bleed the gains over weeks.
It's improved so much
Copilot is based on Clippy - the one true AI out there.
Just a lot of sexy people having sexy affairs all around
This pump looks weaker than my parent's marriage when I was 8
LOL
$huevon 😑\n\n😛\n
Circle of life, man.
bers never learn lmaoo
Lots of ppl still sitting on the sidelines waiting to buy the dip that when war inevitably escalates the dip will be bought up immediately
why is market open on labour day?
I am sure you are broke. You are a poor no money having American. Probably live in West Virginia somewhere with your mom and grandma. Shame. You are poor. Must suck to wait on food stamps every month. Today is your grocery shopping day. Sad poor little boy.
What do you mean?
no
It only goes up. It only goes up. Gonna rock back and forth muttering this in a padded cell
not green enough
Wanna fund my zero knowledge proof claim adjusicator start up?
Deleveraging until TACO man or some other weird world event hands us another generational buying opportunity.
Meanwhile I got it IRL at a cost basis of 2000$
feeling bullish today... CSPR BEAM EDIT.
Jfc. Is tech now magically bound to oil lmao
Apple CEO warns memory constraints are intensifying...sandik! MU> u know u know
“He’s not a trading legend. He was a trading legend because he got bailed out. I like traders that didn’t get margin called.” - 🥭
Wait for everyone to take their morning dump, then calls, right?
No intention of holding until December
Dump at open
I rly hate gold, shorting it out of spite
They do. The smaller the cpu architecture the more prone they are to flipping bits from radiation. A lot of the cpus in space are on older larger processes for this reason.
It aint over til rates go to 0
Someone tell me what to play today, because I'm fucking confused.
CRDO and ALAB leaps
Margin on leveraged ETFs is advanced level retardation. Well done OP
🥭: oil is going to drop like a rock\n\nNot sure if bullish or bearish…..\n
Yeah but are you happy in life?
This was the TACO trade 2.0 - despite the jawboning, Trump was very obviously not going to glass Iran.\n\nQQQ weekly RSI hit 35 and I figured I'd take a shot with a relatively tight stop loss, and fortunately it worked.
TQQQ on margin, this mother fucker is 6x leveraging the S&P and you still wont acknowledge his greatness. Next stop is Buying TQQQ calls brother. I'll see you on Mars.
NVDA please pump today.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but SPX is going over 7400 today
Leaps on PLTR? Seems like the only big AI name that hasn’t gone +50-100% in the last 4 weeks. Will it catch up?
Also on the bright side, he’ll have tax deductions for about 5 years
From what I see it’s almost even
the only dommy boss you get is Diddy clapping ur aboos without consent while ure fully aware but cant move
2.76
Cash it out and then your 3X leveraged on margin game is over. You won, but only if you stop playing.
Do you know how much radiation shielding would weigh to actually get it up to space? They could possibly use incredibly expensive rad hardened chips and error correcting code to revert chips back to previous status after a bit flip but none of it is financially feasible. It's all just hype bullshit
I edited above to add some info about bankrupcties.\n\nWe're definitely going Weimar. Not today obviously but we are speedrunning that trajectory and unless something significant changes in willingness to prevent it, we are guaranteed to end up there.
99% chance it's a market maker anyway
Why left goog out? You have puts, don't you?
What is it
What is it?
And you sound poor.
Sorry, I don't recall Buffet pump. All I remember is Buffet cashed out and sitting on $300 billion cash.
BUY CALLS
Hmm I’m thinking dump at open and then V back up to 723 by noon
All pre market earners are up 🚀🚀🚀
I started with terrible trades then got better
MSFT? for word and clippy right, surely cant be for copilot
bro really hates Jensen
This top will be the new bottom soon. Lockout rally continues!!!!
That would be nice!
well done. whats next?
SPY's put call ratio for today is disgusting lmao
Recommending margin to my mom's grandmother after this post.
The whole hype over bitcoin was "once this is seen as a legit comodity it'll make banl". Well turns out the dog caught the car BTC is legit and no gainz were had
I want that much just to wheel and sell ccs
Damn dude.
I used fancy crayons
Yes but bubbles always outrunning money supply at some point. \n\nUnless we go Weimar.
Maybe sell before earnings AMD gaps down
Pre is about as reliable as a perforated Durex
I think we have one more rip on SPY today and then its really over lol
IBKR Portfolio Margin has a margin requirement of about 30% on TQQQ. I think it's risk-based and they do charge an additional exposure fee of a few hundred a day on top of margin interest on my position.
https://preview.redd.it/x4td5h3uziyg1.jpeg?width=299&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c716fdb53c0efb3fe69c94489891c34597a9e1e5\n\nOP planning his next move.
One dollar bills are designed to dissolve after one week of use. This is how the government keeps impoverished people from building wealth.
ooooh....Pentagon signs AI deals with Nvidia, Microsoft, AWS and Reflection
Matter a fact "You are gay"
Fuck
honestly with this market environment odds are yugely in your favor\n\nmax long on almost everything \n as long as 🥭 is in office
You may or may not be welcome
Yes boss.
Same old day today. MSFT taking a shit. SNDK up a 3rd world country gdp. No dommy boss threatening me with cannons.\n\nWhats the point
Do you do this for living or while having a full time job? \nI really need to understand how the F you guys do this.
How did you know
Elon got slapped by FCC, I guess asts will run again now
If you google **'jp Morgan Sex'**, way more news stories show up than I expected
Reddit to 180 eod
The only preventative measure that works is not putting it up in the first place.
You are describing bubbles before bad debt could be bought with printed money. Going forward all debt will default upwards through inflation rather than down.\n\nEdit: Before hyperinflation Germany had 9500 bankrupcties a year. During its peak though, they dropped to as low as 150. No one actually blows up, by the time the money is due it is worthless and easily paid off or refinanced with even more debt.
I want to believe this SNDK recovery but I cant get Jim Cramer saying BUY SNDK and its the one that got away! INVERSE CRAMER is highly successful
these cannons would love an NVDA pump
Ok, whats going on?
We were having so much fun and now MSFT has to go green, signaling something horrible is coming
You already have a bet going - NVDA to 194.0 before 01-May-2026 10:36 PM -05
Smell my short shorts Sour puss.
!banbet NVDA 198 1d
Hell yeah, i honestly cant remember how many shares i have, i spent like 7-8k but bought once before ath then when it was lower a few months ago. \n\n\nIf the stock ever gets near ath it will definitely have been a decent investment haha
Yeah I got 11
\*I will not buy calls at the top\*\n\n\*I will not buy calls at the top\*\n\n\*I will not buy calls at the top\*\n\nShit. I’m gonna buy calls at the top…
Son, it’s time for you to learn where baby come from\n\nBaby come from JP Morgan promotions
Jim Cremer stay away from my space stocks you chud
Good play by OP\n\nIf he keeps that up, eventually he’ll post here again but from behind a Wendy’s\n
Nice.
dont do it
Yes msft you beautiful creature you
Squeeze these nuts ya fucking nerd
cannon, cannon, cannon
LET ME IN
Teach me your ways sensei
has any scientist measured the volume and surface area of satya nadella's head?
MSFT pathetic
"Mom, are you my real mom?"
Thinking too hard about my positions. I should just go with the flow, it's all a fugazi anyways
This is what I’m fuckin sayin
Msft green so something isn't right
Margin calls never looked so friendly dude just casually printed a small country’s GDP like it’s Monopoly money.
We have lost a lot of shit over there man.
a bit sus ngl, what broker allows you to buy leveraged etfs on margin? None from my experience. Only the actual underlying stock do they provide margin on
PLTR premarket looking juicy! Earnings on Monday will be interesting.
They have an ingrained culture of mid level women executives taking junior analysts as sex slaves
Come on Mr. MSFT, go up
You're one of the top accounts I've seen here. Can't wait to see the first billionaire posting on wsb.
Why is msft pumping suddenly?
My hate leads to anger. \n\nMy hate leads to suffering. \n\nThis is the price of the farce. 🧙‍♂️ 😔 \n
pray for NVDA
You're welcome to browse my post/comment history? Happy to answer questions.
yes. We are all gay.
Yesterday I gave you Hims for the win Akanda for a big bim and RDDT for a boom bada bing. Today I give you NBIS going up Oracle for the day and SoundHound for the squeeze pound.
boring? what market are you talking about lmao
If suits was a good series this would've been the main story 🥀
Yes except bulls are cheering too stupid to realize being "rich" on paper won't mean a god damn thing when the US is bankrupt.\n\nRight now the money printer is currently 1.5% of GDP, when it literally becomes 10% of our entire economy as a normal permanent state, there will be nothing to retire into.
TMC got love from NOAA today
The crazy scandal/story (I was joking).
Thanks! I was on more leverage, but took $3M off the table with AMDL earlier this week. But I think we're still in a lockout rally and TQQQ should do well for a while.
MSTR about to blow up
oh yes satya nadella go deeper
SNAP calls through earnings next week!
Want to troll Scott Jennings X and Threads feeds but I’m confident people are way ahead of me…\n\nGET YOUR FUCKING HAND OUT OF MY FACE!
Oh, NOW microsoft decides it's a real company and not a worthless piece of shit
yugeeee
Okay. I think we all know 🥭 is going to do more in Iran. We also know he cares about the market a lot. You know he's gonna try and do limited strikes on a weekend. Question is, this one or next?
Thought you all made your dream and quit flipping already? Why are you still here??
🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀
Im-ho-tep. Im-ho-tep. Im-ho- ... cannons...
TER topping is rather bearish. Semis prices to literal perfection, even weird wording in guidance can crash the stocks. Still a market wide crash seems unlikely. Corporate profits at no sign of slowing down despite all the factors that could shake up the underlying economy. Fed also always able to print like crazy even in inflation, it's not like they dgaf that much. I don't even know what trump could possibly do to crash this again.\n\nMaybe the next crash will originate in japan or china. Those could cause unpredictable meltdowns.\n\nJunk and EM spreads are also still not far off historic lows. World economy seems plenty strong and resilient no matter any potential cracks.
Our wife 😌
Hope you cash out before you get wrecked
Buy the dip on Knees and Toes
Foil, lots and lots of foil
Bigly
stick your fingy in my anoos?\n\n*pepe yes*
Pray for sndk babe
The fact this could be real is worrying me
Thats fucking nuts. You deserve that win
Your friend was no friend\n\nThis is a place where you learn to make your millionth ***burger***, buddy 😕
rivn is building a plant in georia\n\nthis is not for nothing, they are going to grow\n\nstock will go up\n\nwill be huge
You beautiful bastard
So where are we at manipulating the market? Are we in a position to TACO or in a position to start beef?
You act like when they put these things up in space they don’t think about these things? You don’t think they take preventative measures against such events?
time to short
Market has been boring recently even with earnings season…\n\nThat’s a sign that Iran will soon get land invaded, boots on the ground baby!
Is she a brown fishhead with no cannons?
Uhoh panic sell
Who here shorted fake meat? Confess now
Please check the box to indicate that you have read the terms and conditions of endless shrimp.
holy shit congrats
Is having money considered gay?
What news
and so she wouldn't be interested, which the regards in this subreddit don't understand she doesn't want fat incels, she wants a skinny vulnerable brown person she can emotionally manipulate and abuse.
is RDDT still worth buying right now?
I am actually so curious about trump coin
New recruitment video?
= Hot Brotardos OR Hot Brotatos?!\n\nI literally have Mortimer on the line right now ready to buy me in to juice futures!\n\nWhich is it?! 😭 \n\n\n
cramer thinks sandicks can get to 1700, isn't that interesting!
Damn really sold MSFT at the lows of yesterday then
https://preview.redd.it/94j3fwqyyiyg1.png?width=1124&format=png&auto=webp&s=fe28f908e2865319786592a240002a219eb1aff7
Don't fucking sleep on a colonoscopy.\n\n\nBlood equals unchecked inflammation could be pollops or worse.\n\n\nUnchecked inflammation is a perfect hospitable environment for cancer.\n\n\nColon cancer is the number one killer of men under 50 in America.\n\n\nDon't be afraid but be aware waiting is the worst idea.
Yep, bubbles end with massive thrusts up before the bust.\n\nAI probably hasn't peaked yet.
Oh my gourd! \n\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I've made 10k playing blackjack but lost everything buying stocks, fuck that. \n\n \nBlackjack is the good life
I will explain why i must be the new leader of WSB:\n\nI sold GOOG at 220. I full ported into MSFT at 505! Five.zero.five. and i dont have moneyz for DCA.
Big red EOD today
META and MSFT probably
Calls on JPM.\n\nNews is clearly bullish\n
What tickers you liking?
🎶 I wish I knew you when I was young 👶🎵 We could've got so high 🎈🎶 Now we're here it's been so long ⏳🎵 Two strangers in the bright lights 💡
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Trying to find the next area for energy..\n\nIt's a shittier stock today, but Fuel Cell (FCEL) is looking to pivot into data center energy
Robinhood paid me my $6 in interest 😎
Where can I apply?
What are we to make of DJT merging with a 30 year old fusion power company? Because it feels like free money.
Crash imminent
Wish I had've seen it earlier
Which is the best mag7 stock today?
Not at all, you worked with what you had at that level. Not everyone can power dom just anyone, you took the examples your leaders set and did your best
Radiation would destroy any data center in space within a matter of a few years. A significant solar event could corrupt the data and equipment in a matter of hours. Anybody telling you different also has a bridge in Brooklyn for sale.
his funny line drawn on charts says so! now lets see one orange tweet invalidate every pattern
Seems like tesla about to rocket
Jp Morgan put?
You hate money.
guh
Presupposition. LLMs are distinctly different from AGI.
Gotta work on my FUD. \n\nBlood red today load up puts on everything\n
why the fuck would that affect the share price you chud retard
Just read this on X: I would’ve been in that JP Morgan office having that hoe squirting\n\nLMAO
As a white middle class millennial I literally cannot read "cannon" without hearing the Don Cannon producer tag
So what’s the end game here?\n\nStonks just go vertical forever and everyone prints infinite money along the way?\n\n(except gay bears of course)
Sorry, NFLX.
Maybe sell atleast 6 mil so ur not on margin anymore. Sick trade!
OPEN THE FUCKIN' CASINO
Hello sir, and for you? The usual +1% SPY day?
well be stuck in a 10 cent range on spy and qqq today, i can feel it
My LITE positions have me on the lambo page picking out a colour
The balls, how do you drag those to things around?
Fugayzi, fugazi. It's a whazy. It's a woozie. It's fairy dust. It doesn't exist. It's never landed. It is no matter. It's not on the elemental chart. It's not fucking real
$FIG is the only answer
"Cougar kittens have been spotted in Minnesota, something the Department of Natural Resources says hasn’t happened in more than a century."\n\nCalls.
So I hear Stan druckenmiller theres a 8year copper shortage. So whatever he says I'll do
You may or may not be right
Who cares. You dont know when one stops and the other starts. And it works until it doesnt. If you try to make money off it now, its too late
congrats and fuck you if real
I think you gotta send them a dick pic.
I just inversely move how u tards are moving and it works lol
Grok only answers half your prompts, "model is overloaded right now" etc etc\n\n\n🤡 Ai
I don’t think I have free time today to comment enough to make that happen 😕
margin on an already 3x leverage product. Brilliant. what could possibly go wrong
Can you fuck my wife?
Friday im in love.... calls bitches!
Calls his gun a pet and frequents this sub? Get this man in Congress.
This has been my play for a couple months now
Woke up, entire portfolio red, check clash of clans base and see I’ve been attacked, wife and boyfriend are arguing over finances (I might not be able to afford paying for their trip to Yugoslavia), but there is one blueberry muffin left just for me.
What you will see before the MMs liquidate your port: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CM3M1oAjFnI
Jpm calls
https://preview.redd.it/gx6ojoxhyiyg1.jpeg?width=1206&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eb75b97ccf63cc033c0308f25323b0cb5325914b\n\n😅😅
October 26 not even here yet, date is wrong
Thank you for your insight.
naked calls for hefty premiums
So glad you took the time to say that and I had to read it 🙄
Photonics stuff = $$$$$$$
https://preview.redd.it/quhuy41gyiyg1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=546ec52e3ab0fecabf55a88181288d7afc05c30e
Alright ai Karen
Delete this. You know too much
RDDT 200 EOD
Day 3 of weinermaxxing, it’s beginning to turn blue.
Fak you frens
On the anniversary of Mt St Helens eruption?🌋
Is racket ball poor man's padel?
Who's the regard that dimed this hot inappropriate pervert out? What a pussy.
Had the Franco-Spanish fleet possessed those cannons at Trafalgar, history would have been much different.
Head and shoulders at ATH?
Goooooood Morning regards, I am once again hoping that you slept well last night and your coffee is delicious today. Have a great day of regardmaxxing ☕️🫡
I hate the stock market
How do I apply at JP Morgan to become a junior analyst?
Typing prompts to get some ai slop isn’t hard work
For more context, he will do it out of happiness and newfound riches
I bought Bloom Energy too. Except, I bought the leveraged ETF BEX. I bought it in January and it is a monster. I think we see more Bloom Energy gains. The fuel cells can power a data center within 30 day. Building a grid takes two years. \n\n🙌
JUST WATCH WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING FOR WEEKS\n\n\nWHEN THE DOW JONES HAS A PULLBACK, NVDA WILL BUMP UP \n\n\nAND VISE VERSA\n\n\nWALL ST IS LEGITIMATELY JUST USING FUNDS BETWEEN THE TWO TO PUMP EACH BACK AND FORTH\n\n\nDANGEROUS GAME OF HOT POTATO
Your friend sent you to mental hospital, that has gambling addictions
lmfaoooo RIP. just buy beyond meats
what wrong? hes not wrong u regard. Try managing heat of 23421421412 gpus in space xddddd\n\nlet alone sending a data center in space - costs costs costs
Blessed be the fruit 🍓😌
Today may or may not be interesting something may or may not happen
Your friend sent you to a virtual mental hospital
As always, calls are the way to go
welcome to the streets
My fish wife could never 🫣
That's worth investigating further bud. When I left a firm I had tiny shares that I couldn't be bothered to sell. They got transferred to the state of delaware I believe and I still got them back like 5-10 years later. If I remember correctly
This is the place to make others millions
Director? He hardly knew her.
Yeah this is going down vertically at open, you know it, I know it, the homo hobo sucking off the unconscious frat boy in the alley behind the dumpster knows it.
Sorry, I’m not an exec at JP Morgan
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I know etfs are gay but this one seems like a ripper Invesco Dorsey Wright Industrials Momentum ETF (PRN)
Invite her to a coffee and propose to her.
What is sincerely making me mad.. \n\nIs I know if I just full port 0dte calls on the SPY today.. I'll make more money on that, than anything else.\n\nIts just so regarded though.
Those spreads looking spicy but May earnings gonna be make or break moment for sure
Honestly, I get for a guy like him the situation is rough, but if I was working at the highest level of finance, all the hard work n dedication, and the choice was a fat white man as my boss who makes me work 100hrs a week, or a milf that’s gonna give me BJs under a desk, mannn I’d be living life at the pinnacle of man.
they will open once all the gains fade away
Friend showed me this thread and told me this is the place to make your million so that I dont have to flip at Wendy's..
You guys are savages…and should apply for his job!
*Revitiligo\n\n\nPoor fella. Just like Uncle Ruckus.
Why not? Getting to space is getting cheaper and cheaper and data centers more power efficient. I think never is a strong word.
Radiation would destroy any data center in space within a matter of years. Anybody telling you different also has a bridge in Brooklyn for sale.
Aapl gonna carry spy to 730
Spy 730 call
When will these oil shorts blow up?
I actually think I am recession proof because I laid everyone off for AI
Have you worked with Indians? They have their bro code, will straight up lie the most ridiculous lies, and their buddies will completely go along with it
Tops in boiz. Algos have painted us one big beautiful head and shoulders
Up 50k since the post
Very cool tsla pump
Get a drip
Ban bet it
What would that do 👀
Dxy dying, we staying green
Did AMZN do something too?
Let's hope lol, my bags are at 203
Lunch, as you are poor
It seems that SMH semiconductor ETF has been doing the heavy lifting on your portfolio this year. You lucked out and invested right before the AI chip manufacturing surge. You're not cooked unless the AI bubble materializes, and that growth gets wiped out.
Banbet it ber
TINY WIENER GAMERS RISE THE FUCK UP\n\nSPY RED EOD
cant believe SPY would hit 721 today and NVDA not even pumping 🤡
Nothing breaks those cannons.
Get a grip
Where the fuck is the earnings thread for next week
She’s a director!
1st day of month pump for certain
AMD you are going in the wrong direction
https://preview.redd.it/yy4gcliqxiyg1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac9c8937e9e8e4bba8aee276a113732109e63616
“OPEN THE FN STRAIT” is not the best way to initiate sexy time apparently\n\nCash gang for the weekend and then calls after le dip
Full port SPY puts at 725?
That's rough buddy
Yeah I'm gonna go back to like 30% cash today to be safe, this is just dumb and can't continue
Bears are so cucked
Space is so back
Sofi beats on revenue and earnings tanks.\n\nJPM has scandal about possible SA, up .2% after market.
NVDA calls yolo
What it is gonna be red dump or pump
Circuit breakers coming today for those voluptuous cannons.
Sandips
Seeking alpha always sends me a push notification pre-market about the state of the market and didn't today, which I can't imagine is a good sign
Playing with my nuts for the next 17-29 minutes if ur free, come through
I am still here babe, 27,000 shares in
Eventually we will build an AI smart enough that it will create an even smarter AI on its own, then we are fucked
Power ETrade has a nice interface. Schwab is decent as well.
Thanks. Puts in two weeks.
I wonder how long until Lorna announces she's starting an OF it's more lucrative than her middle management job, you guys.
I feel like RDDT will rip to 200 today
Get your rational thinking ass outta here!
Open the casino so I can dump some of my calls
Wrooooong! And wrong.
Bro what is actually up this week besides Google to make spy pump like this?
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wonder if qqq going to rug pull it at open like yesterday
Thanks for your submission! \n\nTo keep things interesting, we want to see big gains and big losses! \n\nSo we've set the following thresholds for Gain, Loss, and YOLO flaired posts:\n\n* YOLO posts must be a minimum of $10,000 of options or $25,000 of shares and recently opened.\n\n* Gain / Loss posts must show realized gains or losses of more than $2,500 for options or $5,000 for shares. \n\nWe want to see the actual trade. What you got in at, what you sold at. Then tell us why you did it. Give us the story of why you're a fucking genius (or idiot).\n\nThis is what a great post looks like:\n\n[$17.2K Gain on AMZN](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/wb5m4o/not_too_shabby_172k_gain_amzn/) - OP described his gain in the title, has a clear screenshot showing both the entry and exit, meaning his gains were locked in, and they explained their reasoning in the comments and what they learned. All around a great post!\n\nHere are examples of what could get your post removed:\n\n* [$300,000 SDC Loss. Still not selling](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/wpm9am/over_300000_unrealized_loss_sdc_not_selling/) - Even though this is a tremendous loss and something worth posting about, **the position hasn't been closed yet**.\n\n\nHere are examples of amazing posts which could have been even better:\n\n* [$75,000 DDOG Loss.](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/unsrey/loss_porn_ddog_call/) - This is a great post and one that won't get removed. However, the OP could have talked about *why* they entered the position in the first place, what their target price was, and what went wrong. OP didn't stick around in the comments to answer any questions.\n\n* [$1.1MM Loss, No details](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/lxm6wt/hold_me_1100000_loss/) - OP simply posted a screenshot of their overall portfolio balance. It's definitely a big loss, but it's not that interesting without OP talking about what trades they were in and why. OP didn't answer most questions in the comments which left many readers speculating on what happened.\n\n---\n\nAll that being said, we are here to help. We want to make it as easy as possible for you to post to our community. We have to balance this with making the subreddit interesting for our readers. \n\nIf you need some guidance, don't hesitate to [reach out to modmail](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) and we'll give you some pointers!
And a payroll day
Well fuck idk if I want it now
That’s what happen when you have live pets. Get a gun, u can pet gun and it doesn’t cost anything extra.
"intelligence briefing (open press)" lol
Two things. 1. There will never be data centers in space. 2. If “ai” ever reaches true ai it won’t be for another 100 years.
Too many hood puts we rip into close
There is a guy who will post himself eating shit if we get a 1% day
I got $16 left in my trading account\n\nWhat should I YOLO?
Port so fat a 1% gain is worth a month of work as a senior software engineer
Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I hope you are doing well.
Day 1 of my new job \n\nBoss is a bit hands on (literally) but I should be okay
Goldman target SNDK $700 - these guys never made a profit for years!!!!
“ya, I lost a shit ton of money because the stonk market went non stop vertical to all time highs”\n\nIf that sentence resonates with you, please consider making a doctors appointment to get checked for retardation.
I’m so jealous of that jpm guys smh
How bad? Can you still trade options and specify lots when selling shares?\n\nMerrill Edge has a very late 90s Java website feel and it's functional, it's the actual glitches that are driving me crazy. I specify lots and every now and then they default to FIFO for no reason.
Good morning fellas, what’s the play this morning?
🇮🇷 to give up ☢️ dust in exchange for JPM cannons
They need to bring back the chile chips and cheese. $20 stock easy if they just did that. Oh and make the nuggets stop bouncing. I have some leaps that will most likely expire worthless GL
What trading platform do they use in Australian prison? And what is the ticker to the biggest Australian publicly traded company that owns government prison contracts. Also how was the man love?
username checks out
Spy 708 eod
Cash out, put some aside for taxes, n take a nice vacation
May 18th will be blood red, don't ask me how I know
Today’s the DAYYYY\n\nAll my gains over the past months wiped out by my Corgi’s surgery bill\n\nCrouton why\n\n
About time you learn about iv
for real this place is kinda wild but also fun, ya feel?
Pretty much fucking everyone lol
MSFT, Oracle
🥭 travels to florida for the weekend. i think iran war will restart tonight or tomorrow.\n\n**PRESIDENTIAL SCHEDULE — MAY 1, 2026**\n\n**Morning (Washington, D.C.**) \n8:00 AM — Executive Time (Closed Press) \n9:00 AM — Pool Call Time \n10:00 AM — Intelligence Briefing (Open Press)\n\n**Travel & Events (Florida)** \nDepart White House → The Villages, FL \n3:00 PM — Event with Seniors (The Villages Charter School) \nDepart The Villages → Palm Beach, FL \n6:15 PM — Forum Club Dinner (Kravis Center, West Palm Beach)
That sounds dangerous and yet here I am, looking.
I think its still funny. We need to drop it by end of day though.
Same same, recovering 50 points in AH and pre market is wild
Call or put?
If reports aren’t bad a +1.5-2% day isn’t out of the cards
Get a colonoscopy
Flat Friday with small consolidation moves?\n\nOr busty volatility Friday with shorts and longs both over-leveraged and going to have +/-2% day?\n\nApple sure didn't prop the Dow up for long, so maybe a flat Friday.\n\n(Yep, these were non-elequently hidden in induendoes and puns, fellow smooth brain.)
Reddit beat the expected move (as of now). Congrats regards who played 📞s!
First of the month is usually higher. Supposedly 401k money goes in.
I make money off these announcements \n\nYou shut the fuck up 😡
He does look kinda scared
#TLDR\n\n---\n\nTicker: OPEN\n\nDirection: Up\n\nPrognosis: Buy/Accumulate Shares (OP is holding 30k shares @ $4.43 and adding weekly)\n\nUpcoming Catalysts: Earnings on May 7th, Housing Data on May 11th/19th, and Powell stepping down May 15th. \n\nBaggage Check: Yes, the iBuying model blew up in 2022, but OPEN swung to positive Free Cash Flow, improved inventory turnover, and institutions (like Morgan Stanley) are loading the boat. The market is still pricing in their 2022 PTSD.
Japan straight up shorted oil for Bessent. If you're longing oil just know you're competing against central banks
You might have colon cancer
Just don't read aljizzera and buy calls
Kashkari: open the strait and rates stay the same for a long time. Keep the strait closed for too long and we start hiking
bro it has been proven to be funny as fuck
wtf are shares?
this is gonna squeeze for a good while
I sold at $22. Fml
SoftBank lol
I got banned for a week for saying the Hard T word recently lol. I see it like 1000 times a day
Yeah but do you buy the $8 eggs or the $2 eggs?
Yeah but the fraction shares and direct indexing is 🫦
Nasa admin sounds like a retard\n\n"Giant nuclear spaceship, interplanetary, moon base"\n\nOkay retard 🤡
Baby wipes
What do you mean
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use lube next time
Not fair, some of them are "milady" as well.
Well the us market IS a ponzi scheme. If money wasnt printed constantly you would see stocks go down in the long term on average
I feel like SNDK will rip
Bol is the new executive now
We can lose money whilst fondling with cannons
Speak it into existence or whatever those crystal worshipping people say \n\nI bought puts at 712 yesterday before it climbed 8 dollars 🥴
OpenAI seems completely fucked. What entities are most exposed? Who gave them money?
^wut
I have an OBSCENELY tiny penis. SPY WILL fall today.
If you look at the OPs purchase date, and his strike prices, you'll see that the strike price was like way OTM so it was priced low, but the market moved in his favor so he took profits. The options went up.
Cut your fingernails
3 things in life are constant: Lorna, Cannons and SP750. And two of those things will happen today.
If the Exhibit is not truly exhibited, is it really an Exhibit?
Pick one of the MAG7 stocks that is up the least. Buy 0dte calls 3% OTM after open. Sell by 11:30 and enjoy your weekend
This has nothing to do with your comment but funny you say that, I got banned for using those two words a couple weeks ago. \n\nI was so annoyed because people use those two words all the time. That was my defense when I submitted one but they didn’t care haha.
My $HOOD calls are still alive somehow\n\n\nReversal incumming?
thats about as likely as me getting head today
I'M GOING TO LONG ROPE IF I HAVE TO SEE THIS STUPID CANNONS SHIT 1 MORE TIME. SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO LOSE MONEY OVER HERE
Msft bagholder spotted
Schwab/ToS is goated imo
Should I stay in soxs or sell this morning?
Right? People are outing themselves as morons
DUOL is in recovery mode
WSB
poly market for Taiwan invasion is a no brainer. Jealous you Americans get to outsmart other Americans.
Fidelity has terrible UI
SNDK pump defo in the cards today
bro there is so much blood when I wipe
What the odds aapl pumps another 2% today?
The horror
AAPL REALLY FLYING
We got the regularly scheduled fake Iran headline = cue to pump
?
Feels like a good day to lose some money! I'm excited
If you're going to be a ghey bear you should at least try and aquatint yourself with the 5 strapping young Greek men who control your fate
Repent
Internet gold.
Getting sick of Merrill Edge fucking up trades and having outages and I'd like to know what you guys use aside from Robinhood. Maybe it's time to move this over to Fidelity.
# He sold? Pamp it
It’s like an unlimited money glitch. Just continue the conflict/ceasefire but just put out a headline every day. Boom 1%
Believe all men. People don't lie about this.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^/s
Investing -vs- gambling.
You're one 0dte play away from retirement
Start the month off will 1k at open!!!!
Because they want margins. Next question
This is my way of coping
Druski
I have another account for that lol, but it's only $7k right now
Now that soy has done 2 full rotation. Is time for the rotation backwards again
Once the "buy more" posts start coming the end is near
Iran responded to US peace proposal through Pakistan
aljazeera posted an estimate, in which about 11-24 US reaper drones destroyed in this iran war. wtf?
Well, I, for one, would NEVER hope you get hit by a bus.\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think the wife found out. And brown boy had to throw bbg under the bus. Old tactic I used back in the days
Welcome home brother
Let’s go Ibit!!!!!!!
Basically.  Market is wrong for at least a few more quarters though, and possibly the next 3-4 years.
This is starting to feel like a ponzi scheme. \n\nI just put my money in and it automatically goes up risk free.
Not many people have been talking about Bloom Energy. It’s been a good stock for me.
Their demands basically include 3-4 nonnegotiable things the US is not going to accept. But I like that the algos are so optimistic lol
BUY THE DIP
from what I've heard he prefers the other way around
$BB send that please
So we need to get off of Reddit?
ChatGPT wrapper called AIran. This wouldn't be shocking. It is all computer after all.
Could someone explain this one to me
LMTY, it’s the greatest stock market in history.
obviously can't keep squeezing after the run it already had\nYep you belong here
Hope so. Loaded up on $525c yesterday that expire today\n\nWas up about $1k after 10 min but we’ll see
Y'all need to let that jpm thing go already, shit has been proven to be a lie
man those cannons... would
I'm not approved to trade 0dte on my options account. I'm scared to do that
That's it. That seals the deal. I am no longer a Sofi stock owner. An absolute disgrace of a company. In all my years of being a Sofi investor, I have never seen such a pathetic and a failure of a company. I will be taking my money to to BlackBerry where they know how to run a serious business
\n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 4 | **First Seen In WSB** | 1 year ago\n**Total Comments** | 142 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 5 years | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
dumping all my cash on BJ MORGAN at opening bell, drain me zaddy
# OPEN THE FUCKING CASINO MY RDDT CALLS ARE FADING
Yep. its good to realize quicker than later.
WHO?
Need NSFW version
***Me*****:** These bags I've been holding forever need to go up so I can dump them and free up some cash.\n\n***Also me:*** These bags are going up, I'd be retarded to sell them now!
Cheers!
It can go on for a long time. As long as private credit is willing to dole out easy money and investors see downturns as “buy the dip” opportunities and not signs of weakness, it’ll keep going. But eventually the bill comes due. Once private lenders begin to see more and more defaults from failing companies, big banks will pull out of the credit lending game quickly. Rates are still low so there isn’t reason to shut off the faucet. Yet. But summer is coming and fuel prices are only getting higher. It’s only a matter of time. \n\nOh sorry I forgot this is wsb. Uh line go up until it go down.
**PAMP ITTT**
Plz
I do. I long oil after it dips.
820…
Welcome to the shitshow
how funny would it be if manngo's been negotiating with an AI this whole time
It's should be below 10 dollars, market manipulation only thing keeping it up
[insert cannons joke #42,069]
We're all gonna make it\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/1s2lhmnxviyg1.jpeg?width=3584&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=699b6a875061d7245b4910636bb6af7f840c63e0
Before it was called Iran it was actually called Iwalk
If you look at the day after Apple earnings…\n\nIt ALWAYS goes down.\n\nThe day of earnings is usually a good buy day for Apple
So when CAR was 250+, my CAR 100put was worth like $200-300+. Now car is like $175-180 and my car put is worth $30.\n\nBig money loves fucking me like Lorna would.
Cleanup on Aisle 7!
Puts on GOOG, NOW!!!
another day of blindingly green indices while my precious speculative pre-profit high-beta get aggressively fistfucked at open. PSYCHED
We should stop joking about JP Morgan man, that shit isn't cool 😞 Having a fish headed wife is a real problem 😞
Bullicide today
Let me tell you, begging to make a deal
Bear Tears 😭
I got MSFT 465 CALLS
\n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 4 | **First Seen In WSB** | 6 years ago\n**Total Comments** | 66 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 7 years | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
Takes one to know one
10% delta chance based on 2027 Jan calls. PATIENCE
Tim apple came through
Is it not a digital representation of the dumpster fire you call life?
The reverse y/n fanfic
every Friday morning i think to myself "don't go full regard" but within 5 minutes of open im all in
Bought at 21, sold at 23. That is why I am on this sub I guess 🤷🏼
To think that someone’s job is to go into the company account and rebuy the oil shares the Algo auto sold based on a tweet
In the UK the laws says that only men can commit rape. So if they put the word rape in the title then they would automatically lose any defamation suit.
When it got the buffet pump it fell again a bit not long after.
Calls on K-Mart
Who is Erika K?
I don’t even see this Axios article. What happened?
Posting shares to us regards is like speaking mandarin, where are the options leveraged to the tits?
I doubt they'll care
Imagine making financial decisions because of an Axios headline lmao
Dude is probably getting an insane payout
I wrote this yesterday and got a warning from reddit lol
The whole Don admin is a bunch of “uhm akshually 👆”
Having a hard time looking at premarket… your mom keeps sitting on my face.
Today some of you regards are going to be left holding the potato
All hail Gerald and down with the bears. WE RIDE AT 9:30 EST
That girl from JPM sounds pretty hot tbh
By the time the war is actually over spy will be 770 will all fake news to pump and it will shoot up 3% that day
If this shit is true about Lorna, this dude needs to grow some balls and have some fun.
Bitch
Craigslist meetup
Fuckin axios
[cannons](https://x.com/SlickmediaX/status/2049999939342626977/video/1?s=46)
"My little _____ bear"
I just realized this sub is completely useless, pointless, and worthless... I blend in perfectly
Common oil V
It was all a fake tho
You actually think the market is 12 year olds with no money?
GOOG. Don’t do this. Not today. One more little pump plz.
Yeah they may have shorting enabled sooner than options. It really depends on the short float. I read that they are only releasing 3% of the shares at ipo to retail. Then the rest is reserved for index funds. We won't know the truth until we see the prospectus.
Pump, pump the jam, pump it up.
CAR, please get back to my entry point at $840
Claude, make me some cannon puns and make them related to fish heads, Asians, and/or JPMorgan
Well done detective.
I know I should probably sell this pump but I’m just gonna hold it
microsloppy big dump at open grab puts when you can
Emailing a doctor and I’m calling him by his first name. Client keeps on calling me Mr in the response emails does bro want me to call him Dr 🤔
An Iranian diplomatic source has told Al Jazeera that the government submitted a new proposal to Pakistani mediators on Thursday:\n\n \nWe continue to still, as we never said we wouldn't, want and require uranium enrichment capabilities.\n\n(I made this up, but probably still there).\n\nMarket shoots up.
Ha headed to the diner right now
DAMEE spy 720 didnt put any resistance like Erika K getting a fuck buddy soon after the events LMAOOOOO
Sex slaves are bullish
GOOGL pls 2% pump at least
Lorna news article spicier than shades of grey
Any big titty goth executive lady here want a brown boy? 🙌🙌
BREAKING NEWS: new netflix series announced, the russini and hajdini files
Blue owl stock 20% short interest
Did JP Morgan just end racism?!
Bagholder spotted.\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
PLTR going up up up
https://preview.redd.it/dzf8e8taviyg1.jpeg?width=403&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61fb501a849e0d35b486352b656ce9ba6c18cb44\n\nThis is you guys
The market's starting to show confidence going to the weekend, bears are about to get fucked by their boss
I'm enjoying a nice little breakfast at a diner 🤗
Guess we’ll see you in therapy too!
Market loves $100B in aircraft 3 Carrier groups blockading. It’s provides certainty to the market. Now if we can get the regular Iranians folk to finish the job SPY at 820
Nasty berrorists!
#1 rule in life. Women go crazy for things they can’t have.
Facebook
Deep down, we are all little brown boys. \n\n\n(Or at least want to be).
https://preview.redd.it/89adru59viyg1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=32e796178400406aaf66b4efafb131fb7686a46c
Look into SNXX and SNDQ.\n\n2x leverage on SNDK. \n\n
Anything AI is free money like always
I think Iran knows DJT is desperate and they can just buy a few more days to prepare by sending 'responses' to Pakistan.
How is it a double standards when majority here belives he is lying???
\*proceeds to dump all of your money\*
Not sure what the other regards were thinking, but as a long time Intel holder my thinking was - Yes I believe in the infrastructure they have, and the value of their USA based semiconductor fab, but the worry was the possibility of the business being chopped up and sold for its parts. The govt money bags were not something that were part of that prediction.
You fishhead
Man top of that K shape doing very well.
Do you guys remember "profit taking Fridays"? I don't
who’s on the toilet waiting for tesla 400
**OPEN THE BRA, YOU CRAZY BASTARDs**
yeah my puts will print
Signed up to be 'cannon fodder'. Accidentally got myself shipped off to the strait.
Should I take financial advice off of Instagram?
is this guy flexing 34% single stock gains?
On robinhood probs
https://preview.redd.it/31xq2a83viyg1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1da70bb55e9576638c3625c9601582aca6c469de
That's what the poors want just school teaching finance, trades, and "life skills" so they become the perfect little wagies once the AI overlords go online
Are my intc calls that i bought yesterday cooked guys?
bers never learn ...
Anyone selling rddt at this point? This is embarrassing it just climbed to baseline, it should have been 200 right now.
Call me anytime
I'm at a -80% return for the week on that little play
Opening naturally like 🥭 said it would
Can’t beat the UI
Ok so no growth in the last 10 years 😂
i feel it again, the pull to the poots
bers are gonna get cooked again
The details will come out during any dip for some strange reason 🤔
Show me ur cannons
Is there a tip line for reporting suspected Bers?
i need your escort to carry my puts to valhalla
I saw DOTA 2 instant upvote
Should be illegal. But oh well.
the \*puts\*...they \*call\* to me🫴
You can go to actual casinos so it's not just virtual lines going up and down, but physical cards and chips, and dice and whatnot
I need to follow this guy and do everything he says won’t happen
Lorna just elevated to VP, working directly with Jamie Dimon
https://preview.redd.it/3mcbulstuiyg1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2fb9a1ce6dcb76fad8d10940473ec2bfd1ca44c3
Are you rich? Shouldn't be that hard.
Lol only if its longer than 8 seconds
Keep us posted when you inevitably see the gainz here and succumb. \n\nIn all seriousness, good idea and stick with it!
Nothing pumps the market like Axios hopium right before market opens
$GRAB
Iran with a new proposal I'm sure details will come out sometime today
Imagine wanting your kids to graduate having financial literacy but not knowing math.\n\n💀
Apple about to full send DOW 50,000
Go do your own research and post it then.
🚨 **Good morning fish heads 🚨**
Can I trade options in my Trump account?
why are you here
Which 0dte are you running with today?
Well the rich are getting richer and certainly they don't give a fuck about the working class, that is what people voted for.
no
Pullback until 10:15, flat for 10 min, then rip, like always
The only thing that will make me feel better about my lose is some big cannons on my face.
it's a non profit\n\nLMAO
who likes fish heads with no cannon anyway, do not redeeeeem saaaaarrr
I just wanna go on record and say I think it’s gonna dump after ripping at open.. I will of course not make any money regardless of what the market does
If you do tai chi just 7 minutes a day you can’t look like Arnold some day.
How are my 0dte warriors feeling? Euphoria seems high, do we push this bad boy toward 730 and then maybe a drop off near close as people sell off for the weekend ?
pussy
too late now
Buy 0dte at 3pm.
DNA digital data storage. Look it up.
wtf
retard from the israli news outlet Axios at it again LMAO
Sand dickers in shambles when their stock doesn’t pump 10% everyday
No but MCD's not a bad guess except for the market cap
Guys, I deposited $50k into a new brokerage account and I'm NOT going to trade options. AMA
I think I'm in love with strait of Hormuz
Cash it out is for pussies
HOOOR MOOSE🫴