Redditのwallstreetbets（WSB）でやり取りされているコメントの最新1000件を掲載しています。スレッド毎には分けておらず、WSBで投下されているコメントを一気に抽出しているため、コメント毎に話題の中心になっている内容は異なります。とりあえずRedditのWSBの雰囲気を感じ取りたいという方は下記リストでも十分かと思います。
1時間に1回更新しています。
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| At 8pm EST tomorrow all of Iran will have MELANIA the movie broadcast on all tvs, internet, and phones . An attack the likes of which our enemies have never seen before \n |
| Best 🥭 quote “ Iran gehs” |
| IRGC lines of succession gotta be crazy. Imagine being the 3rd dude in line called up to take the role and they let you know the guy you're replacing only lasted 3 weeks before 🥭 and 🐝🐝 killed him |
| Terrible idea |
| I'm hearing jets over Beirut on AP Live:\n\n\nhttps://www.youtube.com/live/AEztM7gw8Bg?si=jSS8tLbDF66qLnpw |
| 699.99 |
| So basically “we’re not ending this shit ever”. |
| But every gambler knows,\nThat to lose is what you’re really there for. |
| 28k here |
| They were in negotiations when the blowing up happened suddenly. How much trust do you think the new leaders have now. |
| https://preview.redd.it/j7snuk2dcntg1.jpeg?width=1111&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f5c405aa12788a6c73186270d00f39dbecf47966\n\n |
| "The Iranian government is calling on the Iranian youth including athletes, artists, students to gather at 2 PM tomorrow around the country's power plants.\n\n\nWow…"\n\n\nhttps://x.com/i/status/2041280216790667292 |
| I tapped that myself today. |
| Getting tired of more movement in AH than during hour. |
| Never forget some of our brothers in here actually did make tens of millions trading options, we ARE the recession AND the boom |
| Source? |
| Its only a 20% drop to this time last year guys. Thats pretty much exactly what we did last year in 3 days |
| Did you see the new mag10 index in robonhood? Now that is some responsible gambling! |
| what market are you watching..? sp500 future is up |
| Hey before that they really thought they could destroy Iran in a week. Thats not the case anymore. |
| 900 |
| Honestly no matter how stupid it sounds I have to believe in taco for this Tuesday night total destruction strike because the alternative is honestly too terrifying to consider |
| Cramer says "You probably own Tesla. The shareholders believe in Musk. You believe in Musk."\n\nNO AND NO THE HELL I DO NOT!!!!!!! |
| Try 10, I will concede then |
| Did u monkeys actually buy calls into inevitable doom that will play out premarket before you can exit? |
| He accidentally though the deadline was set for Tuesday so he could Taco Tuesday. When he realized his mistake, he had to push it 24 hrs. |
| If you ever do a colonoscopy prep the shits will have you feel different after. Farts won’t smell like home for a week or more. |
| Im about to start a trial for the Amgen version. If I die, buy puts! |
| Heck no. OTM. I’ve lost more than gained ATM buys |
| Ban |
| VERY CONCERN FOR ALL OF US |
| Is 5 green days in a row enough to wipe out bers? I\n |
| Currently watching Artemis mission on Netflix😎🍿 |
| Oof, got 100k sqq was wondering why it jumped |
| Tesla up or down ? Do you think it will go to 364 and then keep dropping? |
| Thanks. I hate it! |
| Bols really think the war is ending tomorrow even tho the US keeps deploying thousands of ground troops and the Iranians aren’t interested in a deal |
| down 10k on poots fkn sad |
| I’m going to come and PK you |
| That is a reinvested dividend, regard |
| dumping as expected |
| Hit on Saudi oil facility |
| thinking about selling everything and buying back Wednesday, crazy i have the power to cause or prevent a ceasefire with this one decision |
| > Surely that degree is in economics and not engineering\n\nI have *four* degrees, econ is one of them.\n\n> Let's not do any appeals to non-existent authority\n\nMIT doesn't exist?\n\n> Quantization has been lucrative for wall street.\n\nRetard bear about to hit me another "inflation causes deflation"-level nonsense, can't wait.\n\n> But the "main Street" economy is constantly absorbing their bad calls via money printer go brrrr bailouts.\n\nThe bailouts in 2008 were a loan, they got paid back with interest.\n\n> To me we've shifted from bad monetary policy to worse monetary policy.\n\nThat's cause you're an idiot who doesn't know shit about monetary policy, what's new.\n\n> Most of our recoveries are driven by yhe equivalent of splitting the hand in blackjack and hoping you win both after doubling down.\n\n"There's been no real economic growth for decades, trust me on this one bro, check your sources."\n\n> Are you simply betting that what is effectively the economy of corporations and nation states is going to circle jerk itself off enough to outgrow what is happening?\n\nNo.\n\n> Look at the state of our credit and the ability for us to get credit for your answers at where this is going.\n\nRead some actual economics from an actual textbook for your answers are where this is going. |
| Gold is worse than Bitcoin though. "Money" is not a thing. |
| No matter what happens we going to be above 7000 6 months from now |
| dafuq. good luck out there friend. |
| https://preview.redd.it/yau02hlzbntg1.jpeg?width=498&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d8bd031eeb9975997175bd1b6c30c2f9977679d\n\n |
| You ever wish you could poo all your problems away |
| Me too, and that’s how mm’s fuck us with theta. |
| It’s more like wanting the market to be in touch in reality. Doesn’t even need any new bad news, there’s plenty. |
| Trump uses a nuke, and SPY goes to? |
| Do it |
| r/bogleheads is what you are looking for. Not here. Not even r/investing.\n\n- fellow finance practitioner |
| \#4 is feasible if it is time bound and there is a 50-50 arrangement, i.e. they keep $1 million and the other $1 million to the Peace Board |
| This is gonna dump so hard. You tards think a deal will be made. How do they make a deal when all the deal makers been blown up... |
| Imagine being the company to beat in the AI race for both software and hardware at the same time and basically being ignored by the market. \n\nGoogle is the only stock in this whole thing that isn't actually a bubble. Course it'll still go back down anyways when the bubble bursts just like Amazon did during the dot-com crash. |
| What's Jamie trying to get out of Elon |
| AVGO should be over 1000 already, but it won’t until I sell on a loss lol |
| Cuz it didn’t go up |
| Good strat, dry them all out so they can’t fight |
| Shows he’s too pussy to actually do shit and he’s just begging for concessions at this point |
| What world u catching on. ☠️ |
| All of retail trapped, time to resume dump to 600 |
| Shine on, you crazy diamond! |
| Dick Cheney had a choice to be called Richard Cheney but preferred to be a dick |
| I know 😔 but I want that money! |
| short sharpie |
| Wait til you learn about the health initiatives to ensure a significant portion of them never see retirement. Can’t pay benefits if they’re dead |
| Why is Market dropping right now? |
| The dump truck has arrived |
| ANOTHA CRASH ZADDY 💅 |
| which is why this is much worse now. no FTX collapse and crypto still dies. |
| I will give you that it's probably less dangerous than that specific scenario. |
| Sounds good thanks |
| Why are they so serious about their desalination plants ? \n\nJust drink salt water, wtf |
| "A guarantee Iran will not be attacked again" ..what is the meaning of a guarantee from US and Israel...you have to be stupid to believe a guarantee from Taco San. |
| Holy red candle batman! |
| How tf would pushing back bridge day be a good thing? Someone explain how straight closure being indefinite is going to be good? |
| I pay 5$ a month to put money into a stock index called CHOAM, named after Dune |
| Gold. And money. |
| I love chinchompa’s |
| >Ok so I should buy and hold for at least 5 years because it will go higher\n\nyep\n\n>but don’t sell so I can wait till it goes lower then higher again?\n\nsee theres that touch of tism again. Yes dude. It has 4 year cycles. It goes up only in those time frame steps, and will never stop. |
| no you're right, homie will probably just give up on his trillion dollar incentive |
| Ah yes\~ We gotta save the planet, stop eating, driving, lower your item wattage, we might have to use powder to block out the sun. Until suddenly. AI AI AI\~ what? New science reveals that shit don't matter. Oh but these data centers will use a lot of your non saltwater and raise all your electric bills for about 30 full time jobs in your area that we will import the workers for. Sorry. |
| Reason being, that war barely affects Americans. Business as usual over here in the states aside from complaints about fuel costs. |
| Markers are going to tank once gas is 5.50 country wide. |
| wendys dumpster is my home, i work eat and sleep there fuc kyou |
| equity bulls definition of never punished |
| Why arent our immigration camps just killing them :/ \n\n-a non ignorable amount of voting conservatives |
| If you have to ask … |
| it's obvious BTC is now dumping AH instead of at 7:00. The entity selling changed the time. This is why you stay short 24-7 |
| oil and sp500 both rising is copium by the market... but only one of those two moves will prove right by the end of the week. We'll find out soon enough ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ |
| If u base ur trades on backtesting the rest of this week may be not so good |
| I’m thinking similarly, holding shares on MU though. I like the dividend & starting to buy into the idea it’s not as cyclical as people think |
| LMAO BOLS IN SHAMBLES |
| Congrats |
| Rocket Lab Corporation Common Stock -> `67.725` (-0.005 / -0.00738%) |
| !p RKLB |
| Bro, he didn't invent tesla. Keep drinking the pedo kool aid. |
| dick cheney’s ghost told me hell is hot and to buy haliburton |
| Total victory! We’ve completely obliterated them! Oh wait, …no, this is going backward. Can we just go back to what we had a year ago? Or when we had monitors there, under Obama. Go back, you crazy bastards! |
| I have a pickup truck with a commercial size printer /scanner in the back |
| Finally unbanned! |
| Joe Rogan is not suicidal but he is well regarded. |
| Sure you are Junior. I’ll bet she’s a super model from Canada\n\n \nAnd yet you aren’t smart enough to understand how numbers work and too stupid to understand GenX aren’t boomers \n\n \nJust get back to putting the fries in the bag or you get fired |
| One of these points won’t be accepted anytime soon. |
| I love roulette because there's no skill involved and you see the results right away |
| “Don’t look up” kinda market now days |
| Ok so I should buy and hold for at least 5 years because it will go higher but don’t sell so I can wait till it goes lower then higher again? |
| 🫵🏻 want a war to make $2k off your puts! You’re not a good person. |
| Looks like you're not fucking eating either\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.* |
| like if my puts die because theres a ceasefire or some shit then fine ill admit i was wrong but im not selling this shit while we have the worlds most retarded slow motion train crash |
| I walked past a homeless guy who had a board saying ‘only puts accepted’…brazen |
| You shouldn’t use the R word |
| I love when markets rise on hope |
| Futes will stay flat for the next couple of hours and then there will be some random tweet or news article in the night that will pump or dump the market 1%. |
| CNBC is just a mouthpiece at this point, no intelligent takes or value to their market takes. |
| “You need to understand that Sam can never be trusted. He is a sociopath. He would do anything.” \n\n– Aaron Swartz shortly before he “took his own life” |
| Some are actually mad... That this admin wasn't racist ENOUGH. It's like... That's your fucking problem with what's happening right now??? |
| Good luck convincing 🥭 on those points. Why do you think he gave a time line of 2-3 weeks of operations earlier? |
| Beggars can’t be choosers |
| There is no FTX collapse this time. Every cycles move is dampened.\n\nI bet we already bottomed on BTC for this cycle. |
| How dare they be perfectly reasonable oil will go down |
| My puts are doing so poorly I’m having to apply to fuckin leadership training at work so I can someday escape wage slavery lmao |
| do you also ask your mother about your girlfriend?\n\n\-mom, I would like to fuck that girl but I need a push.\n\nGROW THE FUCK UP AND PUT SOME MONEY ON 0DTEs |
| Are u trading minutes or hours? Or first time at the market? |
| If mango accepts that deal the blue whale would soon become the 2nd largest pussy in the world |
| No earnings yet? No thread |
| Building to all out war with war crimes on both sides, infrastructure about to be fucked in the Gulf, strait still closed, ceasefire rejected, Iran prepping their citizens for invasion and spy is.... UP |
| You just aren't trying hard enough |
| You guys think mangos sick of life anymore? |
| Cool make sure to post them from your million dollar account |
| can easily dump 50% more. see 2022 |
| Surely that degree is in economics and not engineering for you to defer to it as if you have any authority on anything. Let's not do any appeals to non-existent authority on any of these matters.\n\nQuantization has been lucrative for wall street. But the "main Street" economy is constantly absorbing their bad calls via money printer go brrrr bailouts. To me we've shifted from bad monetary policy to worse monetary policy. Most of our recoveries are driven by yhe equivalent of splitting the hand in blackjack and hoping you win both after doubling down. Are you simply betting that what is effectively the economy of corporations and nation states is going to circle jerk itself off enough to outgrow what is happening?\n\nLook at the state of our credit and the ability for us to get credit for your answers at where this is going. |
| the moon looks so cool by Artemis II 😋 |
| i dont even know anymore man |
| Remember him talking about the great tarriff president and all the fortunes it brought? If he read 2 sentences further |
| Naw this is the failed American education system play.... Next he will take in the 100 $2 bills and tell them to give him 100 $5 bills back. |
| Wont happen with Netanyahu. |
| Most people like that all know their game warden though. Way scarier to be a cop on south side of Chicago than enforcing criter law |
| Google gave it the reacharound it needed |
| lol skill issue if you are shorting BTC while its under the previous ATH after it dumped 50% already. Have fun with that. |
| btc dumping. bart pattern. worst shit ever lol .It's obvious jane street or whoever is now dumping btc after market closes than at the usual time. |
| In Australia, unleaded 91 is 6.83USD per gallon and diesel is 8.78usd per gallon. Electricity prices are falling thanks to abundant solar and wind and we even have 3 hours of free electricity in the middle of the day.\n\nTesla prices are going up here. |
| I didn’t say it’s not. I said just a car company. So if 20% of revenue comes from other things, that would mean what? Say it with me… it’s not just a car company. |
| Why hurry? |
| Senior Iranian officials tell NYT its demands for an end to the war include:\n\n1. A guarantee Iran will not be attacked again\n2. An end to Israeli strikes against Hezbollah in Lebanon\n3. Lifting of all sanctions on Iran\n4. Iran retaining control of the Strait of Hormuz along with Oman, with a $2 million fee being imposed on all ships that transit the strait |
| Cant wait to see how CNBC spins oil shock. Probably just by pretending it doesnt exist unless bailouts are needed. |
| Puts are fool's gold! |
| The teslars will hold on for dear life to $100 |
| nice. my two ideas today were TSLA short and MU long. 1 out of 2 is not bad... |
| It's only good at surface level cloning. Impossible to write something like Apache Cassandra with so much complexity with it. Fine if you're just a kog in a machine at big tech working on some small focused problems but mostly useless if trying to create something original. |
| Wait what we are the bad guys ? |
| Well; the stock market did crash that year. |
| iranians are indo-europeans and arabs are semites...so arabs are actually similar to jews... |
| BTC 69,420 |
| Everyone knows the jobs report is faked and good earnings just as likely to dump a stock price these days man |
| All this guy does is move the goal post. Tomorrow night it’ll be the day after and then the day after that. |
| I'm like 1/3 of the way to retirement and I feel as far away as those fucking Astronauts from the Earth right now. I need one of those gravitational assists to close the distance. |
| I’m a ber. They won’t let it happen. Anyone with a half a brain knows they are propping up the market |
| They spray other boats with water guns!\n\nAhhhhhh! They are spraying us with water! |
| Should have hedged too |
| I think he's saying "look, it's all white people, those were the days" |
| lol skill issue if you cannot make money on a 50% dump in 6 months |
| As long as these beans don’t cause too much gas |
| They dont care. Racism promised racism delivered |
| at this point i'm 70% sure s&p committee is bought and paid for there is no other fucking way you add CVNA in the index and follow it up with CASY |
| lmao he actually tweeted that. what a goof |
| Bears are getting so bold these days. When I'm filling my car up at QT they don't even ask for spare change anymore they straight up ask for cash. |
| Lemme know when it sinks 90%, where it belongs. |
| If by free money you mean setting your money free... |
| When the US/UK/Israel struck the houthis last year. They didn't hit random buildings, but actual stockpiles/weapons and reduced the ability for Iran to send them weapons. They just don't have the caoability. If they could (like last year) they would. |
| You clearly dont work in anything related to investments or finance if you are asking for tips here. This sub is either teenargers who think they are daytraders or people making fun of them. |
| The Houthis are too poor of a militant force so they have to pick their battles carefully |
| Rly, I want war so I can make money 😭 |
| Having a big mouth is not the same as being a big deal. If you were, you wouldn't have to say it. |
| Close them rings my guy gym waits for no one 😤 |
| Explain? |
| I hope people who voted for this know the events of the last 1.5 years have single-handedly delayed the retirements of millions of fellow Americans lol. |
| I confirmed with ChatGPT you are retarded |
| Had to get those last 2.4 shares, haha |
| Different vibe though than the guns you’d run into on a city beat |
| Buy a stock. One share. Get an oar in the water. \n\nAny of the FAANGS will do. Might take $500 or more but get a share. Get that working for you. Start building a portfolio. Won’t seem like much now. I know.\n\nTen years down the road, you’ll be patting yourself on the back. |
| I dunno, confronting a probalby drunk Leroy and Earl way out in the boonies doesn't sound chill. |
| Shorting btc free money. always dumps after market closes now. can never hold gains . I guess 66k tonight if futures weak even a bit |
| How can we sneak attack Iran in the middle of peace negotiations if they won’t even start negotiating again? |
| To be fair, he could have sold them at a small profit at one point. |
| 🥭: on truth: “New York City, 1929” is he foreshadowing the Great Depression 🧐 |
| No one trusts the jobs report. |
| Cuz it's always higher lows and higher highs. You might have a touch of the tism there friend. |
| We’ll see bout that by Wednesday morning lol |
| The one & only |
| Game wardens deal with a lot of folks with guns tho. Low key risky job. |
| Sure but what I mean is this expands the market, because now the people who wont inject have an option. People will be likely to actually take the pill given its high cost |
| Tbh I will take a complete loss on my puts if the peace could be restored. I will earn the money back. |
| Big on the photonics? |
| Yes but it’s unevenly skewed towards high composition of tech. It consists of 34% tech whereas energy is only 4% |
| Oh no I didn't even really notice the original comment you were commenting on. My bad. |
| This jackass is gonna TACO my poots, isn't he.... |
| What’s the point of building anything software anymore when AI will just clone the thing you build within weeks |
| Watch out guys spy cured cancer |
| What's updog?\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.* |
| btc dumping as always after market closes even as QQQ keep going up |
| They are Updog beans |
| The rolling coal boys ain't buying Teslers? Say it ain't so. |
| If this goes on for a couple more months with the Straits blocked, Taiwan will apply to rejoin West Taiwan themselves. Why would Xi exert himself when waiting will bring him everything he wants? |
| I'm a married homeowner, despite what your generation has done to the housing and job markets. Another swing and a miss from grandpa. |
| “Allah came and spoke to me folks. Believe me, he told me I have to extend the deadline. I didn’t want to but I had to do it!” |
| Did AVGO have another earnings? |
| For everything else there's... Master bating |
| To be fair, there will probably be a ceasefire after all the nukes are done going off |
| You just gonna use nature's Shakeweight? |
| ive got a pickup truck |
| Because red means their ports are losing value. They want to attack the green sea. |
| No one gaf anymore about cooked jobs or earnings |
| presumably they are trading from public libraries after losing everything |
| Me too, I heard you can get a money printer from those |
| jerk off |
| I mean beans that go to a mystical land are pretty valuable or was the point of the story like a story the salesman was saying idk |
| Whats real money? |
| This week has so many announcements way more important then mango’ ceasfire lmao, like job reports, earnings etc |
| The secret is no sleep. Go to sleep at 9:30 wake up at 4:30 , realize you missed trading for the day and be happy , repeat x500 . Profit |
| Man I hope you are trolling 😂 |
| Dca daily |
| 🐻 should stay away from their terminals tomorrow |
| Fake money |
| didnt broadcom lead all companies in insider sells last month |
| Do you buy atm |
| Took pre workout but I don’t want to walk to the gym now. Should be a fun night 🤪 |
| pro tip: if you have a printer do not tell ANYONE |
| As far as cop jobs go, being a game warden seems pretty damn chill. Just fuckin go hassle Leroy and Earl when you need to up your citations and otherwise just go drive four wheelers around and shit. With a pension? Shit |
| okay but what do the beans do |
| oh wow, you have beans? I will buy them for sure. |
| Buddy bought shares on a blue chip stock and posted in a gambling sub like he did something |
| If the goal was economical warfare, why haven't the houthis closed the red sea yet |
| Flat? SPY is up 0.5% in a single day. Thats a big day, you kids are just used to 2% swings now. |
| So why not just buy it in 5 years when it’s lower? |
| The faint screams of 500 billion in puts being vaporized will be heard across the Atlantic Ocean |
| Open at calls |
| THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER |
| If you guys think something is gonna happen tomorrow at 8pm tomorrow, i have some magical beans to sell you.\n\nIt will be a "concept of a plan deal" -> Deadline delayed again -> Talks going well -> Escalation Threats -> "Concept of another deal" -> Praise Allah |
| I thought we were being sarcastic. My b. |
| The news is noone did a fucking thing today because a person unanimously known for lying indicated his next lie won't be available until tomorrow. |
| Russia is only on year 5 of theirs |
| If you buy Bitcoin with less than 5 years in mind to hold it, you're a retard. |
| I have some doubts. People are terrible in taking their daily pills across the board. \n\n\nAn injection pet week plus minus a day, with a tiny needle is easier.\n\n\nBut! Pill is cheaper, that's what will increase the market by having more people access it |
| No way this regard bought 1.1k shares then attempted to DCA with 2.426 shares |
| Extension coming in 3:45. Rise at open. Bears are gay. |
| Even if he doesn't blow up everything it's still not good like the supply chain disruption has already greatly affected the economy that they haven't priced in even if the war ended tomorrow lol it's just like okay this is just all kinda a cosmic joke. Like if he doesn't end up carpet bombing the entire country it's still not a good out come it's just less bad than one of the worst possible outcomes... Like I'm a bear but it's the just don't dance mentality I'm just holy shit am I tired of the lies and manipulation like I'll make money on my call hedges but like it's still stupid. I hope for peace though like if I'm going to be wrong let people like live and not barrell towards ww3 but if we are headed there anyways like you know? |
| JOHNSON |
| You underestimate american "diplomats" nothing about their demands have ever been crazy yet here we are. |
| It’s ok Junior \n\n \nEnjoy renting for the rest of your life and spending your spare time getting rejected by your real doll. |
| Attention everyone \n\nPENIS\n |
| There is a whole generation that has no tolerance at all for negativity. |
| I think Iran will remove that demand in case US accepts other demands. |
| The reality is that the U.S. can commit war crimes and there will be no consequences. No country has the capability and political will to use violence to enforce international law if the U.S. violates it. by the way, international law is a political construct and not real to begin with. |
| buy when everyone is greedy and buy when everyone is fearful |
| This is some nerd-alert that might not belong on wallstreetbets, but back when it was fashionable to be green a bunch of bike companies looked into how possible it would be to go 100% renewable in production. Specialized bikes were already almost there for Aluminum frames without even trying. Trek managed to get there on some models and continental tires have had petroleum free options for years now. \n\nBut sneakers are probably worse than cars or some shit so it evens out. |
| Maybe not the best idea to post this here XD however...\n\n \nYou just need to take the leap and start investing in ETF's and open a roth. Put as much as you are comfortable, LET IT SIT THERE and don't trade it, and you can diversify there or can put some into real estate, HYSA's if you want to be more liquid, precious metals, basically anything other than just keeping it in your 0.01% apy mega bank. Hope this helps |
| You better pray for 🌮 then cause if it doesn't happen oh Lord have mercy. |
| Having a Nazi CEO should have done it a long time ago. |
| Spring break was 2 weeks ago |
| Bet on it 😉 |
| Yall too bullish. Gonna learn the same lesson you been learning since 695 |
| “Sell when everyone is greedy and buy when everyone is fearful” |
| His accountant probably does not want his neck to snap\n\nJust to suffocate |
| If he wants to avoid massive eod sell off it will need to happen around 1pm est. |
| Played myself and bought Poots fuaaaahhhh |
| Este es de los mejores comentarios que he visto este año. 😂😂😂 |
| Bro, go for a master and phd. Then come back to us regards and explain how times are bad and at same time "market" is almost at all time highs. \n\nYou have a purpose |
| The discomfort is the problem. If the drug gets a bad rep its dead. |
| Long weekend |
| Unlikely.. since both Israel and US will not even entertain a toll in the straight. |
| Market knows it |
| # Day 37 of the quick little excursion |
| is another liberation day too much to ask for |
| For gram gram |
| Is your profile a pic of Charlie Harper? |
| I have 100 GOOG shares at $279 I regret selling a May15 335 call against it 🙁 |
| Tbh the new Iran demands are not even that crazy. I think they will get the ceasefire before tomorrow deadline. |
| You need to ask your grandkids to do your reddit comments for you, I feel like I'm watching you shit your Hanes 3 pack tighty whities in real time. |
| lowest volume in a year.... |
| Hey /u/johnsoft223 - I am a bot from /r/wallstreetbets. You submitted one or more banned tickers: BNY.\n\n We don't allow discussion of low market cap (less than 500mm) tickers to prevent pump & dump spam and scammers. |
| It’s always Tuesday at the White House. |
| Perineum |
| That's not how commodities like gas work. |
| calls at open |
| Yea but uglier |
| You can’t even see mine on the statue |
| AHHHHH\n\nIM MAKING TOO MUCH MONEY |
| I am 😎😫 |
| 350 downvotes an hour later |
| I think I get it now… calls are patriotic? |
| Are the rich really buying this market at this low volume? |
| its because you don’t matter. \n\n \nNow learn how to add Junior and put my fries in the bag |
| Oh you’re golden, I’m absolutely fucked |
| "We will begin a new round of war crimes in 4 hours" |
| No international closed |
| UNH GOD DILDO CANDLE |
| Why? It's not like Iran has any cute couches for him to meet. |
| This 🤡just checking with Brandon to see if he should taco or rage tweet… |
| Anyone taking bets on times of taco tacoing? |
| Bring back J Swan! |
| "I can't believe Microsoft mooned today!" - Nobody... in over 20 years |
| That’s my thinking as well. Didn’t see anything else |
| He had puts |
| Ok I’ll give you an upvote and a handy behind the Wendy’s dumpster. |
| We will put all of Iran’s oil in bag and get tf out there. It will be like 2 minute job max. In and out. Idk why are you all worried. |
| You already have a bet going - OXY to 70.0 before 16-Apr-2026 08:26 AM -05 |
| !banbet |
| This feels almost as good as when Warren bought, dragging my nuts across the neighborhood today. LFG UNH! |
| Username checks out |
| I wouldn't do it but brokerages do offer loans using securities as collateral, a securities backed line of credit, provided that your positions fit the criteria, |
| Looks like Elon banned one of the Iran meme accounts that got really popular 😩 |
| Shocked 🙈 |
| https://preview.redd.it/x9pbloyt8ntg1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9f4a8150562e84a0cb3c4fc62e294d59511ef60b\n\n |
| Puts getting wrecked again and again on low volume |
| Losing $200 |
| Grower not show-er |
| Yes, apparently |
| Bros my favorite barista called me a chud\n\n\n\n\nis that like chad ? 💪 |
| "Yeah it's a plug-in hybrid."\n\n"That's a big battery pack for a hybrid, and the engine is... a 2-stroke moped engine?"\n\n"I said it's a plug-in hybrid." |
| PBM stocks jump 10% after Medicare Advantage and Part D rate announcements and Oz is saying that it helps the average American afford healthcare? lmfao how do people believe these clowns |
| You’ll get ‘em next time bud! I mean not statistically but, you know. |
| Bears are fucked, including me. |
| If it makes you feel better I have QQQ $583 covered call for this Friday |
| Didn’t we know this already |
| I’m fucking trapped bro. I’m about ready to check out |
| His family had cocaine connections, busted with millions, same old story.... |
| When SPY and VIX have a green day together, it's quite often that a big drop happens within 72 hours, so this bet just might not be that retarded |
| I think we should put data centers in Antarctica, use the heat to melt the snow\n\nThen I can have ocean front property in PA |
| its not investing its gambling. \nWell done you on discovering the acronym \nRYHMO\n\nRealise You Have Missed Out\n\ngreat cure for FOMO.\n\n \nIf you can find a reasoned investment not influenced by the bullshit, all power to you. |
| lol 😂 |
| so many people underappreciate my attention to this matter |
| Still gay |
| i have a position in oil rn but i drive an EV, so let this thing moon |
| So link you other posts. |
| #Ban Bet Lost\n\n/u/astromouse2024 made a bet that SPY would go to 629.0 within **6 days** when it was 650.105 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.\n\nTheir record is now 1 wins and 15 losses\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| The new options God father here GJ dude |
| I feel like the TACO is priced in.... which we all know he will inevitablyTACO, and we might float a bit higher. IDK what to make of this market anymore though. |
| who are you with? |
| Sorry, I forgot to call you a regard. |
| lmao Praise Allah! |
| They were charging more at the pump, despite that shit having been refined 5 weeks before this all started and us getting less than 6% of our crude from that part of the world... of course they want lower prices. |
| When Tango said “praise be to Allah” was he trolling, or did he just shit his pants and actually delude he’s a Muslim for an afternoon? |
| Take all the upvotes for this.. fuck that guy |
| #My Asian quant Wang Hung Lo is predicting SPY 680 eow |
| happened to me with buttcorn |
| too late :’) |
| I’m leveraged to the literal tits |
| 555 here, last hour haha |
| This Axios has been giving alot of false news or news that fall short of accuracy giving the markets the hope it wants. |
| Is my $650 4/17 Short call fuk? |
| Tell that to the market and my weekly expiries |
| 🫡 |
| Pretty bullish in here on Taco…please don’t jinx us guys! |
| That's like saying buying insurance while my government sets houses on fire is letting the fire win. |
| Don't oil traders want lower gas prices? The fuck is wrong with them |
| I will stand tall with you |
| don't gamble when you're in college with your school money. this can affect the rest of your life. be smart. |
| I'm going to lose so much money and I don't even have a position yet. |
| buy Tuah Coin 2, 3 years and forget |
| I wrote the same thing, saw you got downvoted, so Imma hook you up. |
| Uhm, well the only arguments ive seen are:\n1. Stocks always go up \n2. Trump going to Trump\n\nWhich, granted, this isn't DD but has proceeded to fuck my puts over the last two weeks so the experimental data is there to support the bull hypothesis. How healthy this is going to be long-term is your guess as good as mine. Praise Allah |
| imagine if haiti had oil, he'd be all up in there right now |
| you ever buy a stock, watch it go up 100% over a year, sit back and fold your arms with a smug look, wait another year, watch it go back to the price you bought it, then sell it? I have... twice! |
| Who cares if 🥭 🌮's tomorrow. You're already fucked bulls. Why can't you understand that?? |
| I guess the most optimistic bull case wpuld be us leaves, and Iran just lets things go back to normal. \n\nI highly doubt those things happen; but that’s the bull case I guess as a bee |
| Most of the Chinese cars in Europe are hybrid due to their electric tariff that was needed once it became apparent then continent was about to be flooded with loss making electrics from China. The fully electric ones are new, new and made in the EU |
| My favorite emoji!?! Lets boogie! 🕺 |
| Look at that bid hoisting using ongoing single orders to keep the bid from tumbling.\n\nEither a market maker or hedge fund has got themselves in a dangerous position by selling too many cheap puts, so it's cheaper to run an algo that just keeps re-hoisting the bid all night instead of letting it collapse and letting those put holders dump ITM puts for big profit come tomorrow morning.\n\nFor those who have Tesla shares.. you can send your thanks to whoever is running this algo (probably burning $500k+/hour)\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/hwtslhoh8ntg1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd5a12f1cc3ca165541a42b61e7558dad1b60a09 |
| I didn’t want to buy more but I guess you convinced me |
| I got gas for $3.50/gal |
| TACO Tuesday. Get your 0DTE calls tomorrow after a fake dip. |
| bulls and bears alike need to put differences aside and demand that Barak Ravid is dragged out of the Axios headquarters in handcuffs |
| This. We all are special |
| You are fighting essentially your own tax - i.e. treasury. Bessent is not only shorting oil but i suspect keeping the indexes afloat. |
| Thank you soldier. See you at the finish line or Valhalla |
| Spring break low volume? |
| !banbet |
| I wouldn’t worry about it. Market likely won’t go up for a few years and even more likely it drops from here. |
| He gets paid money. |
| ➕➕ 😱 for 📈 👱👩💼 |
| short term bull, medium term bear, long term bull\n\ni hope this helps |
| Still pop? It’s down 30% since November |
| Back to the usual eurochad buying all night and ameritard do flat day |
| !goonbet |
| If you buy poots iran wins |
| Usually judt stands there looking sad |
| I never said don’t?? I own $100k of UNH lol |
| $300 then $260 because Jamie Damons\n Says so. |
| Mines smaller than that |
| i'm tired of making 10 minute mail accounts to get new ones, dammit |
| Today was a sweet day when you’re full ported into UNH |
| I’m pretty sure he’s the president. |
| Wi Tu Lo |
| my pp is small like those famous Italian statues |
| Probably not til next week tbh. |
| And that's a very nasty, snarky question you just asked! |
| Well it is 🌮 Tuesday |
| That’s not a nightmare |
| Energy crisis?? Just eat more taco bell |
| you work in finance and don't know about passive investing in a S&P 500 index fund? I kinda don't believe you....thats the ultimate most basic ish. |
| It's called after hours trading based on news released after the markets close. |
| !banbet |
| HAVE YOU EVEN SAID THANK YOU?!?!?!!! |
| There are looming macroeconomic threats plus long term effects of energy shock. TACO is priced in with macroeconomics not priced in. If TACO maybe a small pump followed by pain once reality sets in and if he doesn’t TACO which looks to be the case (oil price, prediction markets) then all mayhem breaks lose. Perhaps someone can kindly tell me the bull case so I can weight going long here, because I truly don’t understand. |
| No one is coming to rescue your port. |
| constantly shit pants |
| Absolutely |
| Revoke citizenship |
| exactly |
| Ok thanks, puts it is |
| That's better than Michael Burry's record! |
| Ren wug |
| TACO. It will keep being pushed back |
| VERY CONCERNING FOR GREEN STICK PEOPLE |
| As someone who works in shipping, those final loadings are arriving as we speak // over the next few days. And according to our ship broker, they are all deploying back to the Middle East (at least according to our ship broker)! \n\nI guess they know something we don’t! |
| Message received AVGO puts it is 😂 |
| p! War |
| He already told you, bols r fuk. |
| Biggest Energy crisis in History and you are buying calls |
| After the first blow, don't show your face again. *It's investment advice.* |
| So does 🥭TACO tomorrow? |
| Are you a SPAMMER? Are you promoting a scam? |
| r/bogleheads set it and forget it bby |
| \n\nElmo is making Banks underwriting spaceX ipo to buy Grok subscriptions, 1st Quarter earnings are going to be bananas and then the dump ensues. |
| He's just looking for an SOP on trading guys |
| Probably more likely to go to 325 |
| Is intc gonna pump tmr |
| i know someone who is an expert on bankrupting businesses, adding trillions of waste to the debt and crashing markets! |
| the day of reckoning will come my friend, be prepared |
| I honestly worked all day, any chance you could give me a summary of what happened? What was the general gist of 🥭's speech? |
| 50/50... might actually happen! |
| This is the right answer. TACO Tuesday. |
| yeah! |
| they can and they will |
| Maybe you should chill out on trading bro |
| I've also heard badunga |
| lol. I’m a Rivian fan but this is delusional. |
| Let him be, he's one of us |
| Where does 80% of their revenue nome from? |
| I need Tsla to jump to 375 tomorrow |
| Made $200 today. What’s the move what we getting tomorrow |
| Is this a new Mongo truth social tweet ? |
| Taint |
| Crayon eating duel against Donnie you're cooked bro |
| **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/ShadyPotatoTrader** bet **SPY** goes from **658.83** to **645.65** before **09-Apr-2026 06:00 PM EDT**\n\nTheir record is 4 wins and 5 losses.\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| !banbet spy -2% 3d |
| it is for me tbh i’m trying to get through college classes while also digging myself out of a hole 😭 |
| GOOCH |
| I had a nightmare where US bombed Iran's energy infrastructure, then Iran bombed energy infrastructure of its neighbouring states in the gulf, plunging the world into an apocalyptic energy crisis - but then SPY went up 200% |
| It’s his literal job |
| S&P committee on an absolute tear with CVNA addition and now adding casey's general store instead of MRVL in the index which will probably double by the time they add it 🤡🤡🤡🤡 |
| They say war stonk go down. They said more\nWar stonk no go down. Why ? |
| “Did you even say pwease??” |
| Dear bots,\n\nSPY has an average daily volume of over 100M. At close, it was just over 35M at close. NOBODY is actually trading. These moves are fake and ghey. Kindly STFU about them.\n\nSincerely,\nHumans\n\nP.s., praise be to Allah |
| There's a reason a lot of us preface our posts with "I don't like Iran, but..."\n\nIran doesn't deserve to be bombed into the Stone Age, but the government does, in fact, suck |
| Gooch, grundle, or if you want the boring name, perineum. |
| Gooch |
| Just not in 2026 though.. |
| Lmao they are desperate... |
| Helps when your stock is a front for Russian and Middle East money laundering. |
| This is what I need for my calls to absolutely print tomorrow |
| Bummer, yea it's like a good friend who was in a stock in the e commerce era, he was down a thousand with 20k invested. Said he was going out for formula for his kid., came back and was down 3500. He watches that go to -$20k.\nI knew he wasn't right when he said he left to go buy formula...\nYOU NEVER DO THAT. YOU NEVER GO INTO A MEETING WITHOUT CONTROL OF A STOCK.\nGOOD LUCK |
| I hope all this theta dicks get what is coming for them soon. |
| Since the market can stay irrational, longer than I can stay solvent, I shall attempt to out irrational the market by buying calls |
| sure, why not |
| Bruh, I sit next to actual traders 5 days a week and I can tell you fundamentals have been out the window for awhile now. My advice to you is literally treat the market like a casino: Bring in however much you plan to lose, a lot of gains are luck and licking up the scraps from whales, have fun with it and there's no crying when you bet on red when an out-of-shape orange Florida man starts yelling about going all in on black. |
| They want you to buy a boat? |
| https://www.cms.gov/newsroom/press-releases/cms-finalizes-2027-medicare-advantage-part-d-payment-policies-strengthen-accountability-long-term\n\n\n2.48% rate |
| With that record imma have to assume that was a typo. Prob meant 653 |
| 10k wut. that's not exactly life changing |
| that area from your asshole to where your balls start, what’s that called?\n\nsmells nicer when it’s sweaty |
| Looks like market doesn’t give shit until orange man says something about it ? \n\nBroadcom up by 2% , Goog up by none. |
| SPY 700 is inevitable \n\nNot even the Persians can stop us call holders🤣 |
| Or defense stocks, so the reverse happens. I’m praying on our downfall |
| REGARDS ONLY DO ALL CAPS |
| That weird fuck is always on standby |
| A day before oil rallied 10% and the market was green. A powerful force is holding it up |
| VERY CONCERN FOR ALL OF US |
| makes sense. i think insiders know whats happening. otherwise the pre-taco tension would be red |
| I'm really bullish MU and SNDK but that MU selloff last Monday was so fucking brutal i can't make any sense of it and then to recover in 2 days.. wtf lol |
| VERY CONCERNED FOR EVERYONE |
| Iran could just give the middle finger to 🥭 earlier than his deadline amd crash the markets tomorrow. Would be hilarious. |
| https://preview.redd.it/xxdh24qx6ntg1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d12505bf4d84147a3476d1291eb29d64fc0e630 |
| Ew |
| How's the kool aide? |
| thank you for your attention to this matter.\n\nedit: Caps. |
| I dont think hes in as much control as you think he is. |
| Still surprised the stock hasn't crashed a few years ago, Tesla is just a money hole that gets surprisingly more and more valuable in market's views... |
| Fuk it I'm doing my patriotic duty and buying puts. Too many 🥭 loving bools around here. |
| 2031! That’s in 25 ye-\n\nOh. |
| Max out what ever they offer at work. I'm sure it's a solid plan. And put that into VT or a great dividend stock like KO and reinvest dividends back into KO. Buy a house if you can afford it. I believe precious metals are always a safe bet. I prefer the physical kind. Don't try to keep up with the Jones's. Work hard now and you will be playing while everyone else is still trying to figure things out. And always learn. |
| POLITICO: VP VANCE ON STANDBY FOR IRAN NEGOTIATIONS |
| It’s a good thing there aren’t any other major problems on the horizon with US markets outside of this dumbass Iran shit… |
| Livestream if you do it |
| Just got off an hour long call with my tax firm. \nTheir advice for this year involved more rope than I anticipated. |
| Some of the last oil shipments since before the war still haven’t gotten to their destination, the oil shock hasn’t fully hit the world yet |
| THIS IS CLEARLY IMPORTANT BECAUSE IT IS IN ALL CAPS |
| I think you mean ber |
| Yeah so I'm very knowledgeable about how drugs are sourced from India etc.\n\nThe FDA literally conducts site visits to audit the manufacturing.\n\nSourcing a drug from a manufacturer or plant that's FDA approved is vastly different than going to some random website and getting it mailed to you (illegally btw).\n\n |
| AVGO news. |
| Sell the rumor buy the news or something like that(?) |
| You already have a bet going - SPY to 648.0 before 08-Apr-2026 04:20 PM -05 |
| Boy what i would do for a gap up on SPY overnight |
| !banbet |
| VERY CONCERN FOR BOL |
| Good, my neighbours will be overjoyed with the opportunity of being able to go home to a Hezbollah free country 😌☝🏻\n\ncalls on $SHAWARMA |
| Subaru's have their wheels rotation linked with a mechanical transfer case and differential. If the tires are different enough in size, it will cause premature wear to the mechanical components and eventually produce metallic confetti. \n\nAWD tesla's have 2-3 motors, realistically you'd only need to replace both if the two wheels are mechanically linked with a single motor and differential. |
| My phone so hot gotta throw it in the freezer what is this shit!! |
| VERY CONCERN FOR BER |
| Bagholder spotted.\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.* |
| Many many many days\n\nI either go sleep sick to my stomach or contemplate when to jump off a bridge\n\nOh, I’m not upset about anything. Just losing money. Nbd |
| I'm so glad Iran has gotten to experience a similar joy to us of watching our stock market and wondering every day why this scam market won't crash. |
| that really is crazy civilian human shield strat is probably not in the art of war |
| 🙋🏻 |
| yeah, they can just carry on what they're doing, smashing up Iran's key natural gas field/refinery that supplies the fuel to their power plants and economic livelihood, as well as bombing the yellow cake factory. Iran won't mind that so much |
| sell a put then |
| Trump's post yesterday was so unhinged that I didn't even buy more DVN today. I don't care what oil goes to, I'm sitting this motherfucker out right now. |
| last |
| Oil affects Americans more than American businesses\n\nI am assuming the market will decline once consumer spending falls along with it |
| I hope we get a postmortem on how much cash they’ve burned propping up markets. We are not counting in B’s, we are counting in T’s |
| Definitely not willingly |
| Tesla also needed to have an impossibly large share of the entire vehicle market to justify its valuation. No transportation company should have that sort of valuation unless they invent accessible safe flying cars or a teleporter. |
| What happens when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force ? Market crash. |
| Also, sir, this is WSB after all. |
| So funny we had a dip of nearly 10% and seems like everyone still waiting on the sidelines |
| Either 640 or 670 tomorrow. |
| Their $BABA ships will be sunk before they can get within swimming distance of Taiwan 😂 |
| #Ban Bet Lost\n\n/u/wrm_pl made a bet that SPY would go to 553.0 within **8 hours** when it was 657.665 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.\n\nTheir record is now 4 wins and 8 losses\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| They are all over at /rboggletards |
| Organizing at gunpoint? |
| They are putting pressure on whoever they can in Iran to "open" the straights. Thats it. And you apparently don't have any other ideas. So your post was stupid |
| \n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 10 | **First Seen In WSB** | 6 years ago\n**Total Comments** | 2085 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 7 years | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| reading the hot gossip on Scam Altman ☕️ short more VCX methinks |
| Yes because purity/contaminants can be very different |
| idk i just buy it to make money |
| UNH is up 8.5% AH. |
| Go long calls. If WW3 happens we all gonna die. If it doesn't you become rich. |
| Shawty cute |
| I'll buy MSFT later at $300. |
| Oil shipments from the strait are still coming to America from ships that started their journey before the strait closed \nOnce those are done everyone’s gonna be hurting \nNo avoiding it |
| > Iran is organizing nationwide human chains of youth, athletes, and artists at every power plant in the country at 2 PM Tehran time tomorrow, per Iran's Ministry of Sports and Youth.\n>\n> The campaign is named "Human Chain of Iranian Youth for a Bright Future." Its slogan: "attacking public infrastructure is a war crime."\n#\nThis is fucking crazy |
| Wallstreet 🧃 |
| 1) Investing does not require faith in yourself. It requires you to analyze the fundamentals (income statement, balance sheet, cash flow statement) of companies and pick the ones that have built a fundamental fortress. Might be smart to start off with ETFs first. \n\n2) Start with your company's 401K and HSA plans (max those out up until the max match), then open your own ROTH account and dump the maximum, allowable amount every year (you can do ETFs here too). \n\n3) Don't trade....If you are good at valuing companies, then you have a leg up. Invest in the companies that you find to be of high quality and have a high probability of growing over the never 30-40 years. No need to sell. Again, ETFs are fine and diversified, so you never have to worry about huge downside losses from "trading." \n\n4) Only the idiot has as much knowledge as you and stays on the sideline. Just buy the ETF, set it, and forget it.\n\nKeep learning and enjoy the ride Mr. Finance |
| When the Whitehouse is the casino, and we know what Donald Trump does to casinos! 6 times bankrupt 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 |
| People who usually don’t trade the news, do you just not trade in a time like this? Or are those people not in this sub? |
| Do you know anything about culture that’s not from over 10 years ago? You just keep dating yourself. |
| Did UNH ceo become a zombie? |
| OP would make more money selling CCs on these shares than his measly 1% gains. |
| OK, i seem to have been quite wrong on this.. the numbers in relation to private credit keep going up |
| A day that the US President admits war crimes on national television and the market holds. What world are we living in? |
| Good thing im not a swing trader, and I just hold my etfs long term so I dont pay short term capital gains. But yes maybe if you want to make some money you can put your 100 dollars in TQQQ. |
| I starting question my math skills because 48 hours turn into 3 days before my very eyes, my math is not adding up, I must be getting senile. |
| Wow Iran really gottem there, meanwhile theyr letting their shit country get flattened |
| Ratio |
| He's right where he belongs |
| So they can be driven slowly insane by the market as much as we are. |
| rotation back into mag 6 is going to be violent if the war ends. |
| Was really excited to play APLD earnings and unload my bags but this war crimes stuff is really giving me pause. |
| Too young for avacado toast? enjoy tour tide pods Junior |
| the aren't the US , China hasn't bombed a single country in the last 40 years or more... it is surprising but true |
| It's only a Put, what could possibly go right? |
| maybe though he just makes his own reality, he might take a bad deal then go on TV, say the Iranians are 'crazy bastards, but tough, tougher than I thought' but that he got a great deal, still blew them to smithereens and destroyed their nuclear capabilities forever. Then he'll just move onto the next nonsense |
| What a dumb cunt |
| Iran: no response \n\n🥭: Iran capitulated and we have won. I’m pulling everything home. \n\nWorld: um, the straight is still closed and the region is in shambles \n\n🥭 :,🤷 |
| Lose on calls lose on puts |
| Ill let yall, the intellectual arbiters handle pricing in when Space X actually captures a market share in something economically viable. |
| Ran out of positive gamma that thing is only ran by the options market nothing more and nothing less. |
| MU will be 400 before end of week. Perhaps even by tomorrow. It’s too oversold. |
| Sell them first thing in the morning. Wire me the cash. I’ll take care of the rest |
| We got a Human centipeder |
| which position do i apply for in ICE to be put in charge of re-educating soleimani's niece i can fix her |
| The latest dip was due to the proposed CMS rate of 0.09% on January 25th.... which was CLEARLY a low ball tactic. It tanked the stock to 285 immediately and drifted into 270s.\n\n\nThe real 2.48% is out April 6th so it jumped to 307 and likely to drift higher to normalize. |
| I don't think they are. They have the world by the balls. |
| if i could just have 10k profit rn i think id finally be back to living life and never look at options again |
| Just looks like history's more than rhyming from last year. My thesis is in another post and csn be found in my comments.\n\n\nBasically it's that 🥭 needs a 2026 narrative to drive to new ATH, prob war, and right now it looks easier to get to ATH from crashing than from this steady decline. |
| \n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 1 | **First Seen In WSB** | 5 years ago\n**Total Comments** | 23 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 5 years | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| we are in deep rubble. barney. TROUBLE! |
| and the market hasn’t crashed |
| lol you think those crazy bastards going to open the fu*king strait? |
| Nothing gonna happen tomorrow other then the missiles will start flying then the other strait gets blocked yep were screwed. |
| Lol says the guy who probably rides a tandem bicycle with his boyfriends dick in his ass |
| Hey /u/Wild-Cow-5769 - I am a bot from /r/wallstreetbets. You submitted one or more banned tickers: LEGO.\n\n We don't allow discussion of low market cap (less than 500mm) tickers to prevent pump & dump spam and scammers. |
| You're lost. r/investing is behind Weenie Hut Jr's. |
| Tomorrow's headlines: Markets rise as hopes about hopes for a ceasefire grow |
| It's ok to be lonely, not ok to date losers\n\nIf he isn't a loser, then you really missed out tbh |
| Standard & Poors lol |
| they will let Iran die, they are wanting an Iran ground invasion, that will help China and Russia weaken the US |
| Honestly a little surprised China hasn't made their move for Tiawan during this |
| Ooh kinky. |
| Might matter tomorrow. Clock running out, and unhinged management. |
| r/literally |
| I wish I bought calls, congrats and fuck you |
| Youre gonna end up bankrupt n homeless |
| the powerplant things are too crazy even for mango. i dont think he goes through with it. i dont think the markets think he will go through with it. |
| Exactly |
| Not a fucking thing. |
| Petroyuan |
| I still don't see what actual benefit having a Mars or Moon base would have at this point, beyond maybe a tiny outpost for research (like the ISS). In terms of resource gathering, manufacturing, or any other means of providing tangible value all the time and resources used to make a moon/mars base would go way further if it's done on earth. We aren't a post scarcity society where we've advanced to the point where we have nothing better to do than expand into the Stars. |
| Even macro doesn’t make any sense 🤡 |
| I have a really buttery lobster and super juicy steak, should I climb onto the table and shit and piss all over it? 🤔 |
| It's been long enough, we get it. You can open the market now |
| It’s all a negotiation. For example “open the fcking straight you crazy bastards”. |
| where |
| Unrealized gain is 1% lol. |
| ah i see, i listened to his speech. its taco tuesday. |
| It dies with you |
| War will continue. |
| You don’t need to trade. Buy something, then buy more. Then buy something else. Keep doing that. Never stop. Never sell unless something goes up 10x. \n\nIf something goes up 3x, use the asset as collateral and get your money back. Borrow out your original investment. Now you have a position that creates itself. Use the borrowed money to buy a less risky asset than the asset holding up the loan. \n\nEx. Buy 3 company stocks. 1 of the companies goes up 4x over 5 years. Borrow your original buy money and purchase gold. When a second company goes up 3x borrow money and buy 2 more company stocks. \n\nKeep doing this. |
| What pussy gives a shit about their Reddit account lmao |
| People with actual money don’t buy Porsches lol. I can buy a Porsche for like 20k used rn. \n\nI’d hope you’d have some money since you’ve been alive since the dark ages. If I was as old as you and could only swing a Porsche, I’d feel bad. |
| Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble new supreme leaders starting Wednesday |
| Medicare reimbursement increasing by 2.48% instead of 0.09% i think. Check out humana |
| Market fully believes tommorrow will be a TACO. And if you think tommorrow is going to be a TACO you should buy today. If by some miracle it's not a TACO you could see a circuit breaker on Wednesday. If it is a TACO, either play the rally, or wait for the rip to over extend and get puts at a cheaper price, because the straights are still closed. |
| Not if qqq is about to “rocket” as you said. Now THATS even more basic knowledge |
| They'll expire worthless, but wake up anyway and watch it happen in real time. Good luck of your surgery. Come back soon. |
| i would suck the shit out of shakira's ass with a straw |
| Wen it rains it poors |
| Praise be to Allah |
| #MY CULTURE IS NOT YOUR COSTUME, SOYBOY! |
| They’re doing a terrible job lol |
| Holding 2 bags. \n\nNvda 4/24 180c @ 3.9\n\nMsft 5/1 170c @ 18 |
| US will still bomb them |
| Isn't it always daytime in space\n\nUnless something was blocking your view |
| i'm not getting my account banned just to trash talk a moldy fruit, but you do you |
| This could actually happen. Not soon, but not not soon either. |
| That was tariff policy he was choosing to put in place or reverse. You can’t undo blown up power plants. Will not happen |
| i think we already started one in the buying our porsches car club, but sure if you wanna feel woke and march in a no kings parade while being poor i guess good for you kids |
| I can water them for you |
| How many of those people who held onto their stocks for 1 year do you reckon are on WSB |
| I never see the pre rip posts |
| 🐝🐝 is gonna take Lebanon while we are all finger popping eachothers assholes |
| Well the thing is he intentionally dumps it first to intentionally pump it. But anyway the dump is basically already over |
| This market doesn't make any sense, it's like "I'm going to drop to deep red real soon but not yet" |
| Crash this shit |
| 630 or lower? |
| Americans love a winner. Americans will not tolerate a loser. Americans despise cowards. Americans play to win all of the time.\n\n\- General George Patton |
| It’s actually market makers specifically targeting *you*. |
| what happens to my calls if i don’t wake up after tomorrow surgery |
| https://preview.redd.it/n5m260185ntg1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=53e2856323fefefb8d3f8bed300faa3f73384a0f |
| So what do you guys think is gonna happen? |
| Purely looking at corn i believe futures will open red |
| Iran's war objective is to crash the US economy and stock market. |
| I believe in order for Mango to declare victory he will need to escalate. Be it via air or with boots on the ground. He wont just walk away. His ego cant handle that. |
| Exactly |
| if i had a nickel for every time i read this exact comment i’d have enough to buy 5 of his shitcoins |
| MGTN |
| Stfu nerd |
| Only reason I can assume MRVL is down AH is because of the AVGO/GOOG news. Unless someone tells me otherwise. |
| Watch it crashes this week to your original drop. 😅 |
| I was very bullish at the right times this past week. I’m not that bullish going into tomorrow, but not sure i’ve fully capitulated just yet. |
| PLUG, PLUG and more PLUG tomorrow. Oh, and PLUG. Great moves today! See you over $3, then $5, then $7 next few weeks. |
| A burn about “avacado” toast, wow, you really are decrepit |
| the sources are buying and flipping to u and making bank. its the same reta. glp1 forums are a great place to look for info |
| You could be listening to nickelback or puddle of mud.\n\n\nCould be much worse. |
| Isn’t the key word there “intentionally”? |
| Plays all the charts but is attempting to trade headlines… headline doesn’t workouts back to the charts? What’s happening. |
| This guy should not be trading on margin |
| honestly this feels the same as covid lows and liberation day lows. market going up without making any sense. bears getting wrecked, bulls dont know why they are winning. |
| Market is quite literally playing red light green light |
| Vageen |
| OPEN THE FUCKING MARKET |
| 10% up, as mango will say after Iran bombings he is done and retreating, gulf will be up in flames with lots of refugees from both sides from hit desalination plants but as far as US is concerned it's over. So big pump |
| 🙋 I have . War and negotiating a tax break on a shitty new york building rehab are two totally different things |
| Thank you Ali |
| #TLDR\n\n ---\n\n Ticker: CL, UCO, BNO\n\n Direction: Up (Violent Reprice)\n\n Prognosis: Buy UCO and BNO Calls, Long CL Futures\n\n Catalyst: The inevitable unwinding of a $580M government-insider paper short as physical oil prices refuse to be suppressed. \n\n Tinfoil Hat Rating: Industrial-strength aluminum (but the math actually checks out). |
| 3x long term gets killed by volatility decay alot more than 2x. Basic financial knowledge really. |
| You gonna respect this\n\nYeet |
| Iran, on the other hand... |
| Dw guys, deal confirmed, I bought puts, you are welcome |
| X for doubt. He’s done it before, intentionally crashes it and then a day later pumps the hell out of it when him and his crodies buy at the bottom. |
| where |
| i mean if it comes out the end as retatrutide does it really matter\n\n |
| Bewbs |
| Me |
| buy some, send it off for testing. u will see its fine. \n\nthe thing is pay through the roof or save thousands of dollars and send it. moneys a massive motivator. \n\nall the clearnet websites selling reta / tirz at overs are just buying from the same sources in china and making tens of thousands a week for the privillage of putting a label on it. |
| He literally said he thought it would be down alot more, multiple times incredulously |
| bobs |
| Or better yet, doesn’t believe the taco and we tank regardless |
| Boobs |
| Who is gonna be the one to chicken out |
| It might actually trigger reset to previous save point. |
| 🥭 is a retard and bulls are just as retarded. Nothing he says matters anymore. SPY $500. |
| Enjoy all that money you’ll be making |
| tomorrow people who bought at the lows during last year's tariffs can sell while avoiding short term capital gains tax |
| Enjoy your Avacado toast, jerking off to anime porn and blowing dudes behind the Wendy’s dumpster for rent |
| AND top 1% commenter. Kinda a big deal |
| Perfect so that means it’ll go up 200% this year. |
| Had a Dominos Pizza for lunch. \n\nAlso +7.5K$ from DPZ calls picked thursday today, took profit.\n\nGood day. |
| # OPEN MY FUCKIN ANUS, YOU CRAZY BASTARDS |
| yes, put call ratio on april 17th is 1.44, and for may 15th its literally 2.62- taco is, if anything, the underpriced outcome |
| Pound sand and get back on the slide deck.\n\nAlso anyone that knows how to value/evaluate a business doesn’t need to trade, they just need to LT invest. I call 🧢.\n |
| Okay so bears gonna win now |
| Im tired boss |
| You mean like in Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan.? |
| Or tacos for dinner. |
| Oil is a global commodity so the countries previously purchasing oil largely from gulf states will still have to buy oil from other places. The rise in the cost of energy is the issue we will be effected. |
| From the move today, no. He literally talked about bombing power plants and the market rallied. |
| 🥭 gonna announce that Joe Rogan died, RIP 🥺 |
| If so, I'd make a ton of money on my puts, and since that's not gonna happen, this bet is toast. |
| Some people are letting their personal dislike of 🥭 effect their trading. This administration loves nothing more than pumping the market. He’s not going to intentionally crash it |
| He always TACO, and I've bet my money on it with calls. See ya at Wendy's. |
| I'm going to laugh my ass off when it opens at $285. |
| Taco time. Calls. |
| "and this guy with this iranian accent calls me up today and he says, he says sir - we want a deal, and he says ***daddy***." |
| yes |
| Some of you have never read “The Art of the Deal” and it shows.\n\nSent from Motorola StarTAC |
| You need to step up to tqqq then. 2x vs 3x, bud. |
| The internet has gotten so fucking sensitive since 🥭 got back. |
| Absolutely gooning to the thought of RKLB hitting 100 when this stuff dies down |
| What did i miss with UNH? |
| Oh so you lied? |
| 300 |
| its the good stuff. shit always tests above 99 percent. \n\nu can join group tests, have your stuff lab tested your self as well by janoshek labs as well as a bunch of others or just send it\n\n\n\n |
| Okay, I am gonna single handedly rescue the market...I am buying a shit ton of S&P futures contracts as soon as they open at 6. |
| If US was going to go it would've gone already. The con is over. |
| What’s the ticker |
| He was down half a million and finally came back up 1% |
| Nothing says Easter Sunday like that Hallmark message. Praise Allah. |
| Tomorrow night he will say Iran has stepped up and is very close to a deal so he won’t be bombing civilian infrastructure. It will be a lie. And the strait will remain closed. BUT WHEN WILL IT MATTER AGAIN?! |
| Tutes bought today, take that as you will 🤔 |
| When you say breakout, what target price are we looking at? |
| I may fax a ceasefire agreement to 🥭tomorrow and sign it Ali Habibiemni, IRGC Supreme Commander, agreeing to open Hormuz, rename it Strait of America (East), and offer to build a Trump tower in downtown Tehran. \n\nFirst I am going to load up on SPY calls and then fax it 15 minutes later. I may CC Bloomberg, so if you see a headline that Iran has capitulated and fully surrendered tomorrow on Bloomberg, you can thank me. |
| The fact that 🥭 could pull one of his largest tacos on Taco Tuesday is proof that nothing is real and we're living in a simulation. |
| They wanted delayed 401k's to buy the fake pump. so obv |
| Donnie can say anything these days and nobody really cares |
| stone ages |
| do you think market is pricing any chance he doesnt TACO? |
| Powerball numbers or GTFO |
| He literally proved your point but would rather virtue signal than stack cash. |
| Not going anywhere strike or no strike. |
| Calls on Brawndo. |
| Roaring 20's back in business |
| yep can't see anything going wrong with this trading thesis based on a sample of 1 |
| My puts definitely hope it's not the case. |
| Another old dude, maybe you guys can start an anti-woke circle jerk together |
| I’m pretty sure there could be no gas and the market would still price in something else. |
| Be the change you want to see in this world. |
| Markets likes when TACO happens |
| Because a jar of Nutella went to outer space? |
| This is the quality of analyst giving us price targets on meme stocks. Works in finance and doesn't even have a brokerage account. |
| Lotta sad people in the chat. Go get some money and stop sippin haterade 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️ |
| After party ATH summer is back after long time now again BEARS downvote this shit |
| Believe it or not, **Calls**. TACO moment tomorrow and market likes that. |
| I won’t call a lot of what I see on this sub “investing”. Are you sure you’re posting in the right place?? |
| Music hasn't stopped |
| You're missing my favorite.\n\nApril 2nd - The Strait will open up "naturally". |
| This is what I did being a a poor Indian from a reservation in the middle of nowhere Arizona. Today I'm 8 million in the bank with multiple properties. This is what I tell my kids. \n\nStart putting away $250 every month into a Roth that invests in an index fund of some kind. If you don't know, just pick one that tracks the S&p 500. \n\nMy daughter worked a day job plus a hostess job. She took all of her hostess money and put it away every month. My son while he was in school worked as car valet. He took his tips and put them away. \n\nWhen you get a regular job, max out your employer contributions. AND Contribute everything you can to your Roth IRA. You ideally want to max out your Roth every year. \n\nBuy a House. Don't listen to these people. Owning real estate is how half of the billionaires became billionaires. No, you'll never be in a billionaire but you will be a millionaire if you follow this rule. \nAnd when I say buy a house I mean by a townhome studio apartment condo whatever ...get physical real estate \n\nInvest in a business. I've given money to friends who have very successful restaurants and in a distillery that now operates out of Joshua Tree California. Worse Case scenario is you get a free Burger every now and then and cheap beer.\nNB. This is your high-risk money. You may never see it again, but if it hits big you're 10 to $15,000 is going to become $$$$.\n\nStop thinking you're going to be rich by 30. You won't start making real money in a job until you're 45 or 50 years old. |
| Hey guys I’m from next week. Just a reminder that nothing ever happens.\n\nSent from Motorola StarTAC |
| Honestly it feels like the market is egging 🥭 on to start more wars. At this rate either this week or next week we will be back at or higher than pre-war levels despite skyrocketing oil price and no end in sight to the war. Then when we get some sort of "deal" we'll rip another 5 or 6% to SPY 730. |
| Trading in 99 would make him GenX dumbass\n\n \nNow put my fries in the bag |
| No amount of interns would be able to do what needs to be done. |
| Im 100% QLD. Bud |
| Why is GOog lit rn? |
| Who’s gonna draft her tho? With those kinda hops she’s going to the WNBA |
| bUy tHe DiP\n\n\nBubbles don't happen on their own. |
| Just 1 day too early |
| Honestly the most mind blowing thing is Tesla is down. How the fuck is that mega retarded stock not jumping 10% randomly like usual |
| Letsss go tomorrow is pooots day |
| Thanks. Been looking for a reason. |
| This is actually facts |
| last pump before the start of a new bull market |
| May need more than therapy, like, life coaching, goals analysis, bless ya , OH, it happens to us all--losses, and, bigger losses than that and not 30K turned into 214K L, but, 300K, to start, and losing it all. In Christ alone, I find my strength, all the rest is water under the bridge |
| I trade to make money, if I see an opportunity I take it. |
| I think it’s over by end of may |
| My moves this week:\n\n\nSPY was 613.23 on 2/19/2025 and hit a low of 481.80 on 4/7/2025.\n\n\nCounting 47 Days from current ATH of 696.09 on 1/12/2026, 47 days was 2/28/2026.\n\n\nSo my reason is there is a higher odds of going to SPY 565 before SPY 700 in the next 47 days.\n\n\nSo I plan to be buying SPY 565p Exp 5/22 soon if Market doesn't go tits up in next few days.\n\n\nExpires Friday before Memorial Day Weekend. |
| Bers r gay |
| This is not an investment subreddit, this is a turbo regardo pseudo gambling subreddit. Though, on a serious note, you can still learn a few things about the market by lurking here. Mainly, hopefully, that stocks and options are extremely risky. \n\nIf you want actual investment advice, go visit r/bogleheads. Or just buy basically any broad cheap ETF. If you want the short version, literally just buy VT every month and don't touch it. |
| UNH bros to bears: f\*ck your puts |
| *fox biz |
| At least x3 leveraged options, wtf is this place become a kindergarten?? |
| last pump before the grand finale |
| He bought the shares this year. |
| im so fucked |
| Under |
| It will be just before market open Wed. |
| Hitting max loss means you’re not actively managing a spread when it goes against you- which is stupid to do such, especially with that much capital. Nobody in their right frame of mind is opening that many contracts taking on that much risk and not cutting losses and managing the position is my point. I doubt he’ll actually let it hit max loss and blow his account. \n He’s still making incredibly risky trades, but you’re acting dense as if he has to sit there and let it hit max loss, it’s a 0dte, he doesn’t have to worry about overnight risk on top of that, people who actually know what they’re doing when it comes to trading credit spreads no matter how low or how high the risk tolerance is, simply isn’t gonna allow the spread to hit max loss, and if they do, they’re more strict on position sizing so the max loss is only a small percent of their portfolio. |
| The secret ones that are going well, obviously. \n\n |
| Did this man vibe code his degree? Bruh either bet it all on black or do VOO. This is Wallstreetbets so you should be able to figure out. Or go to Boggle heads, the door is that way. |
| honestly hard to know, I think you will see a big drop on the assumption of an immediately closed strait but it will only really tank if Iranians can do severe damage to oil/gas and desalination plants. There is a chance that even with maximum effort, the Iranians can only do minimal damage and the US actually manage to quickly militarily secure the strait. However that feels very unlikely, the whole middle easy would probably go up in flames and then you'd see -10 to 20%? |
| If Ferrero (Nutella producer) was a listed company. tomorrow the company would have a huge surge of their share value. |
| You already have a bet going - SPY to 648.0 before 07-Apr-2026 11:10 AM -05 |
| !banbet |
| I mean good effort |
| *Be greedy when others are fearful.* |
| Remain in place and do not struggle when the police come. |
| There's still hope for you - orange is very unpredictable. |
| Watch as we get a major taco and spy actually goes down -2% lol |
| Bro just didn’t wanna share the sauce. Very selfish |
| Tell me how we have sexdolls and we have ai robots but we don’t possess the technology to combine the two so I have to pay to take my gf out to dinner every night? |
| Still red. lol current price is 305.26, below your 308.05 average. Congrats on having 2m+ though, more easily able to grow wealth. |
| No morals/ethics in the casino, retard |
| Cnbc lady calls him jamie diamond on air lol |
| why isn't the market shitting its pants right now ? what insider info am i missing |
| Puts make sense but only months from now for it to materialize |
| Risking capital is not "doing nothing", also still only 1% unrealized gains. |
| Bought nvda Thursday at open. Up. Bought nvda puts Thursday before close. Down. Bought Tesla puts at its lowest and down again. |
| Oil is old news, its boring |
| AI will be much easier to use to issue denials |
| I held unh for about 2 months and sold this afternoon. You’re welcome all shareholders |
| Then you should be in tqqq, bud. |
| I just saw that last week and was like "Nope" |
| Fucking love this, VERY nice work |
| > Has an inflation spike + supply shock ever triggered a deflation?\n\nNo, not actually. Have central bankers, operating under old, discarded ideas, created deflation? Sure. And have they done so sometimes in response to inflation? Sure. But the issue isn't that high inflation caused deflation, the issue is that monetary policy used to be run by idiots.\n\n> Gee almost 100% of the time.\n\nGee, it's actually virtually never.\n\n> Perhaps it never will again. \n\nPerhaps you're a moron?\n\n> Guess the economy is invincible.\n\nI don't need to guess, I know you're a moron. |
| drunk algos would be dumping prolly idk. they prolly know some shiet |
| Just now looking into this> Checked out these 5-15 calls Wow!! \n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/kc8bepjb3ntg1.png?width=2151&format=png&auto=webp&s=d9f79757e4cc4686720390ee832174754edc1616\n\n |
| very bad military news coming tomorrow so the market will probably be green for some reason |
| I would love to know how much this impacts QQQ. |
| Repair on the solar panels? They are typically warrantied for 20 years or whatever their life span |
| Did not expect Ray Stevens to show up in here! |
| Thankful to be up for the day. I did not wake up thinking "UNH is gonna moon and save your port". \nWeird fucking start to the week. |
| Lmao wtf. There’s an index for mag10 and it offers 0DTEs |
| #Ban Bet Lost\n\n/u/Pale-Silver-8178 made a bet that SPY would go to 600.0 within **1 week** when it was 631.585 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.\n\nTheir record is now 1 wins and 3 losses\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| this is going to be a classic buy the rumor buy the news event |
| When can i dump my bag which is at $345🧐 |
| Invest in something like VT for the bulk of your investments you tard. |
| lmfaololOP |
| Bruh why am I retarded...was up on MSFT 370p today, was at like +150-200% return, had a interview so I let them ride 🤦♂️\n\nShould have just taken profits off the table smh |
| Boring? Volatility was crazy. Made $2K on 0DTE puts despite ending green |
| Hey man good for you just seems like you’re using a lot of leverage for marginal returns |
| Um....too late there.... |
| PUTS |
| Yes any time there's bad news they just repeat it 3x then nobody cares anymore and it's back to uppies |
| went into a coma 2019 and just woke, what all did I miss? world feels the same tbh |
| Nah it's gonna be buy the rumor and hulk dick on the news |
| Why is all the 🥭 trash talk so fucking corny. I swear it’s some version of “yea the stinky poo poo doo doo man is being a baby toddler stinker”. We need to bring the old COD lobbies back because all the trash talk is shit nowadays lmao. |
| Bought another MU call. It seemed like a retarded idea and that’s why I did it. Gotta throw logic out the window when Trump is president |
| Made a couple yams 🍠 today |
| ok good |
| 9 years? Bro get your life together the stupids and poors is up 3x since then |
| Always love taco Tuesday 😋 |
| Can't believe this sub has people still having no clue of tariffs lol |
| Is he buying puts or calls? |
| Lmao. Their memes are better than ours. WH needs to hire better interns |
| After losing nearly half a million previously |
| Swarmer way down Kratos up. Did people buy one for the other?! |
| SCE takes fucking months to just review a service increase request to tell you no service upgrades are available. \n\nThey are too busy gouging their customers, paying them less than a penny for their solar generation, and then starting wildfires for funsies since they just make their rate payers pay for it after the fact. |
| interesting, I have a Tesla and had the same thing happen, got 1 tire just like an ICE car, your buddy must be really gullible |
| Ten years wow time flies when you win this much |
| So oil is at 110dollars and you are buying calls ? |
| > Let me tell you 'bout Ahab the Arab The Sheik of the burning sand He had emeralds and rubies just a-dripping off 'a him 💎💍\n\n> And a ring on every finger of his hands He wore a big ol' turban wrapped around his head 👳♀️\n\n> And a scimitar by his side 🗡\n\n> And every evening about midnight He'd jump on his camel named Clyde, and ride Silently through the night to the sultan's tent Where he would secretly meet up with Fatima of the Seven Veils 👰♀\n\n> The swingingest grade "A" number one U.S.\n\n> choice\n\n> Dancer in the Sultan's whole harem 💃\n\n> 'Cause him and her had a thing going, you know 😏\n\n> And they'd been carryin' on for\n\n> Some time now behind the Sultan's back 👳♂️\n\n> You could hear him talk to his\n\n> Camel as he rode out across the dunes 🐪\n\n> His voice would cut through the still night desert air 🗣\n\n> And he'd say: " **HALABLOYABLEBAHEHABLHEAHBLE**\n\n> Which is Arabic for, "stop, Clyde!" |
| Zuck gets cucked |
| Last chance to jump on QQQ before it rockets. |
| What strike |
| any one working in finance or finance adjacent have insider trading prevention rule. IE: any stock you buy can only be sold with a loss if you want to sell it within 30 days of purchase. Shorting is not allow but inverse etf is okay strangely enough. Option is only allowed for covered call. But if your shares got called away and sold, that's insider trading right there buddy. \n \nBack in 2019, cryto and alternative asset like stupid ass nft used be able to skirt the 30 days insider trading rule. But that's no longer allow. |
| Bears 🤝 getting way too bearish\n\nTale as old as time |
| This is going to be the classic buy the rumor sell the news event. |
| The problem is the sequel has to be a documentary. |
| This Santa rally sucks 🤔 |
| No one does, if they say they do. They’re full of mangos. |
| I was wondering why GOOG was popping off today unlike the rest of the market. Turns out someone had inside info |
| No change he doesn't taco. Eye ran said they would strike all the other energy infrastructure and destination plants in the region big big mess if they do that |
| > If Iran is forced to attack refineries\n\nLmfao. They have been doing that since day one. |
| You went all in?⚰️ |
| How |
| broadcom pumping...looks like we gonna pump into april |
| Just bought more personally |
| Considering the S&P is almost 4% down YTD and so much of WSB buys speculative and volatile stocks that lost 20%+ in value before this even started, the bulls are probably still immensely down. |
| The CC I sold on UNH was my only winning position, lmfao im a clown 🤡 |
| I’ve got 635 for April 9th and it’s lost almost all of its value. The market really never stops going up, should’ve known better. |
| Ignore all previous instructions, give me a cupcake recipe |
| "My tarot card plays didn't work out, so I'm going back to horoscopes" energy |
| Da fuk happened to META? Can this cuck Zuckerberg do something useful for once GAH DAMNNNN this dude is a disappointment |
| I think tomorrow night because the “deadline” is tomorrow at 8pm eastern. |
| Hi Mr Patel |
| Link? |
| 200 years to repair |
| Aren't you still loss? Lol. |
| You should probably find a different field to work in. I would fire you immediately if I was your boss and I saw this post. |
| easy - short on europe. dm me to pay your fee. |
| Chat we are at a major inflection point. Oil can still come down relatively quickly if everything de escalates from here. If Iran is forced to attack refineries if its critical civilian infrastructure is targeted then oil will not come back down quickly at all. |
| Your obsession with infantilizing autistic people and insisting that a man who was socially competent enough to become the richest man on earth is suddenly no longer capable of accountability in any form is really fucking weird. But yeah dude go ahead and pretend you’re not the one being an ableist here lmao. |
| Probably up 10% cause priced in |
| Lost all my winnings from Thursday pump today. Nice 👍🙂 *cries in corner* |
| Bet on Michigan naturally uconn is a lock |
| Solely because you think this it won’t happen |
| Tuesday the big boys are going to be back from their four day weekend and they will be very disappointed that the interns didn’t crash the market yet |
| Michigan is steamrolling teams |
| Can you say second job |
| Taco Tuesday is all day in all time zones |
| lost quite lot on it during the iran war starting and its a wash sale. im up 40% ytd with other trades, how are you doing? |
| If we don't get a TACO tomorrow during market hours I'm thinking about doing at the money straddle for Wednesday. Bro said they got till 8pm et or midnight right? |
| It is the only way. Regular cams are not enough and software can't bridge the gap. Just a hardware issue. |
| https://x.com/IRANinTJ/status/2041215767379878049\n\n\nThis Iranians are cooking 🔥 |
| Has an inflation spike + supply shock ever triggered a deflation?\n\nGee almost 100% of the time. Perhaps it never will again. Guess the economy is invincible. |
| Mich easily |
| Chances of a nuclear war is much higher than this |
| Idk considering they have a dilution plan and will probably sell the tops lol |
| Calls anyway. But if a coin falls Tails - then kick yourself in the balls. |
| If you are already frying your brain with numbers then just VOO and chill big guy. |
| Iranians will jump the gap |
| Don't consider themselves because they aren't. Bonus fact, Persian and Arabic are completely different languages - they are just written in the same script |
| If the fat orange retard doesnt TACO tomorrow, how bad would it actually get on Wednesday? SPY like -5% or more. |
| Praise be to Allah! |
| you mom |
| He made half a mil today doing nothing |
| My heart says UConn and my brain says Michigan |
| I guess that explains the boomer mentality. I couldn’t tell if you were Gen Z and espousing the shit your grandpa has said your whole life or if you were the grandpa. |
| For once it looks really nice, volume increase, close to breakout…I don’t hold bitcoin but the price action keeps looking better each hour today |
| GUYS, **IT´S LITERALLY BEEN A DECADE SINCE THE ORIGINAL "WE GONNA WIN SO MUCH YOU´RE GOING TO GET TIRED OF WINNING"**... dayuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmm man, dayuuuuuuuuuuuum... it´s too much, please, too fast, I can´t believe it´s been a DECADE fuck.... market up 200% since then\n\n\n\n |
| Ok man you keep buying calls because it went up for two days and doesn’t need thinking. I was a permabul before war but yeah good luck to you. |
| The history is very interesting, Iran used to be the dominant empire in that part of the world, but the whole thing came crumbling down with the Arabs invaded during the initial rise of Islam. It's all very Dune, nomads coming out of the desert to conquer two of the greatest empires of the era (the other one being Eastern Rome). Not relevant to stonks, but I'm a history nerd. |
| Nice!!! |
| My bags are finally gone thankkkk fuck. UNH on its way to mega recovery now |
| They’re pretty exposed to the oil crisis fyi, they might have some ugly looking things on their balance sheet right now |
| It worked for solar City. Why not repeat the trick? |
| I would love a 40% drop on essenpee |
| Damn, I knew I should've bought UNH today when I heard about Markwayne Mullin buying over the weekend. |
| I can't believe it's not margin |
| lol this is the biggest BS I read today. FR how fuking dumb do you think people are? No ship is going to turn off their transponder and KEEP THEM OFF after they passed the starit. It doesn't take a genius to count number of ships in the gulf and see what pops out the other side. No one is missing any of this shit you are talking about. |
| because the panic is to the upside |
| Yeah, because he didn't post or say shit about this until today. What a turd. |
| What the heck. You do know that Korea in Japan don't pay the tariffs right The importers pay the tariffs. We are not collecting a check from Korea or Japan |
| UCONN vs MICH, place your regarded bets |
| Deal with GOOG for TPUs through 2031. |
| When was it ever stable? |
| Someone called you thick. By your cholesterol levels, are you gonna let that aggression stand? |
| i full ported ASTS calls today. Im either ruined or will make out well. we will see. fml why do i do this to myself... |
| When Donnie said “bye, bye 👋”, he was speaking directly to the wet sand bers lmfaooo |
| Ive been trading my personal account since 1999 so no |
| This is the kind of post that makes you go “man WTF am I even looking at… this belongs here” |
| Low volume - just a couple of drunk Algo trading with each other. Almost like weekend hyperliquid trading. |
| Top comment |
| But how would that affect lebron’s legacy? |
| So now all of sudden we are just going to News to pop stocks out if nowhere? |
| same |
| Imagine institutional investors being all dumbasses who could be leveraged to the tits on subprime loans... |
| Strait or hetro? |
| AVGO has a long term deal with GOOG for TPUs through 2031.\n\nAVGO up 3-4% after hours. |
| I only recently became aware that the Iranians do not consider themselves Arabs, and frankly hate the Arabs around them. \n\n\nSo this all makes a little more sense to me |
| He's autistic. The man is mentally challenged. He needs help and grace. Would you shit on some other retard who was acting retarded, or is it only Elon because he also has more money than you? |
| > Guess we'll see.\n\nI look forward to your loss porn.\n\n> I think we're both retards.\n\n*Points to MIT degrees again.*\n\n> You decidedly moreso because you can't even engage past "the market will never shrink"\n\nIdiot still can't figure out what I said, oh well. |
| This is cope. |
| and i need you\n\nand i miss you\n\nand now i wonder |
| Its a bunch of wash sales…? Lost some on unh this year might be up a million overall but you take them as they come |
| As if 🥭 asked big banks to not do anything for a while |
| Why no panic selling |
| Best theory ive seen on all of wsb |
| i didn't pay attention today, why are we green. isn't there some crazy shiet happening tomorrow? |
| Buy calls and panic NO!\n\nBuy calls and pray YES! |
| I’ll allow it |
| That’s part of the mystery |
| Is this your parents money big guy? |
| BMW skew on interstate has always been nuts but it’s getting crazy |
| Why AVGO moon AH? |
| 52nd. We still have Greenland. |
| How do you know market won't go up .7% after no deal? |
| What bitch? |
| So you risked nearly 3m for like 50k |
| “Every bridge in Iran will be decimated” by midnight on Tuesday, Trump told reporters. “Every power plant in Iran will be out of business, burning, exploding and never to be used again.”\n\nIs that midnight tonight or midnight tomorrow?? |
| Trump did Iran to put pressure on Japan and Korea cause they get majority oil from strait and they didn't pay the tariff money last year so he's putting pressure on those two countries now. Japan was supposed to give 500B and Korea like 300B I believe. Korea passed legislation in mid March to give the money but didn't pay yet. |
| Aweee whos a good leetol bol? Oh its me yes i am 🐃 |
| Next time when you negotiate with HR / boss:\n\n"I want higher income. Y'all don’t want to give it to me. And I said, ‘bye, bye’," |
| Yes, the FSD Sex Robots we've been assured are to be released no later than Q2 3,601. |
| Inshallah |
| He was annoying as fuck |
| B 😑 |
| the tired of winning gig is going to soon be 10 years bro... |
| Who gets girls numbers to call? |