Redditのwallstreetbets（WSB）でやり取りされているコメントの最新1000件を掲載しています。スレッド毎には分けておらず、WSBで投下されているコメントを一気に抽出しているため、コメント毎に話題の中心になっている内容は異なります。とりあえずRedditのWSBの雰囲気を感じ取りたいという方は下記リストでも十分かと思います。
1時間に1回更新しています。
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| Iran is one of us? |
| DIS wants to know why its rangebound between 90 and 140 and rn ESPN has competition table tennis on |
| Who will be the next speaker? |
| Broccoli-headed chode shirtless in the bathroom, shit eating grin, mouthing ‘let’s get it!’ before a jumpcut to an espresso machine |
| That’s fucking illegal |
| Big spike on prediction markets for US to enter Iran by 3/31. Wars over though |
| attacking trump where it hurts |
| Iran has parliament? |
| I called a top and a bottom, and now we all fucking. |
| So tomorrow we buy right |
| Do not DCA. That is plenty for those two shitty companies. |
| Adding it to my Robinhood. Ready to get in tomorrow. |
| lol i'm following the Persian flow 😂 |
| how bout...NO 🫴🇺🇸✨💥🛫 |
| I love when they’re called the bagnificent 7 |
| This guy maths |
| They’ll wait till tomorrow morning. Keeping their powder dry. What’s left of it. |
| Taking the matter more critically: what dangerous materials can be created from Kitkat chocolates? |
| Our SAVIOUR |
| Thanks he is fellow retard. |
| What this means in simple terms for simple ape like me? Hold off my weekly etf buys for 2 weeks? |
| How are you offloading 12 tons of liquid chocolate? |
| When I was a kid, I used to switch the TV channel to Hustler TV (does this even exist still?) every time my parents had visitors and then ran away with the remote\n\nThank you for your attention to this matter. |
| That 10YR yield is going to fuck us hard. |
| Wait where did you see that ? |
| Puts on Iran? |
| My conservative estimates for SPY on monday: SPY to 420.69 |
| drill baby drill? oil long?! |
| There’s more chance of rate hikes than rate cuts🤷♂️ |
| It’ll be Tylenol, so you have to choose between autism or cancer. |
| \n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 2 | **First Seen In WSB** | 5 years ago\n**Total Comments** | 27 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 11 years | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| De-risking asap. Everything will be like last 3 weeks. |
| https://preview.redd.it/mg59im5jn1sg1.jpeg?width=1078&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=648de43cc5da3158423b7887b4733c41c251d66c\n\n |
| I admit it has not been stolen in Czechia. Locals drink beer and eat vepro knedlo zelo. Foreigner sweets are for foreigners. We eat Kofila instead. |
| sell 90% and let free carry run |
| JUST IN: 🇮🇷 Iran says pre-market news is a "reverse indicator."\n\n"If they pump it, short it. If they dump it, go long…See something tomorrow? You know the drill." \n\nhttps://x.com/WatcherGuru/status/2038351827314393545 \nwhat? |
| Fair enough. Awesome. |
| Old Japanese people whose pensions aren’t enough really do that. |
| I can’t believe this is the timeline I’m alive in |
| It’s not about the chocolate, it’s about sending a message. \nNobody gets a break. |
| Futures opens in 1.5 hours. I fully expect the White House to announce the cure for cancer in the next hour. |
| https://preview.redd.it/519vje6hn1sg1.png?width=498&format=png&auto=webp&s=4912fc1c42915159d2affd3c3b078a5a19bcc2d3\n\n |
| Can this week be different so everyday I look at my port I’m not down 5k+ |
| You forgot your psychosis meds |
| We apparently have reached a ceasefire agreement with Iran. In October 2025. |
| You buying back in before or after markrts have a 5-8% jump in 1 day...are you buying back in before or after an actual, real, peace deal is announced? |
| For the regards who can't do basic news research, it was not 12 tons of KitKats. It was 12 tons of the chocolate used to make KitKats. |
| Where ? What |
| My most memorable trade. I sold some calls about 2 hours till expiry at some ridiculous amount because they needed about an 8% gain to even go ITM. |
| No, they said there'd be sandwiches |
| Just 30 minutes until bols fuk |
| Should have taken that first |
| https://preview.redd.it/phj8gb1dn1sg1.png?width=793&format=png&auto=webp&s=1edfcccc208f486495aea620a6cbbd799f0b2203\n\nFinancial advice |
| We know him as /u/bearhunter429 |
| BREAKING: Netanyahu announces he is deploying an additional 10,000 US Marines to the Gulf. |
| " Wall Street eyes signs of TACO amid Iran war"\n\nReal Yahoo news headline just popped up LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO |
| >!can i interest you in both 😋!< |
| Linde |
| \n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 1 | **First Seen In WSB** | just now\n**Total Comments** | 0 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 5 years | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| No, BTC only matters when it’s crashing according the gay bears |
| weekend oil > shartcoin |
| That will be a lot easier to offload too than Kit Kat bars |
| At this point I'm wondering if there will even be a *fake* pump in the morning. |
| Believe it or fart |
| I’m hearing that us and Iran have reach a agreement in principle |
| I ran clubs for years in Southern California and Las Vegas, this is legit, these girls hear and find out all the shit. Boy oh boy |
| Little Ceasars has some decent stuffed crust pizza. As far as pizza chain quality - it’s pretty good and cheap. |
| Belive it or not calls |
| Will longing oil futures bring back my spy money |
| Supply chain disruption IMO |
| No, these Bonds don't perform. |
| Bulls on their knees praying for 🥭 to tweet something and they think this is a sane investment strategy LMAO |
| because people sell stock to buy gold because recession odds |
| Nah not worth a short at this point. Already in the dirt. |
| Believe it or not, recession indicator |
| BTC pumping, 🌈 🐻 shaking right now!!! |
| Ooh that's a good idea. |
| KitKat CEO: Gimme a break... |
| YAAAAAAASSSSS🫴✨ |
| Who's market is it anyways? |
| So you’re saying it works? |
| Maybe diminishing returns on fake tweets is a good thing in the long run? |
| Upvote if you still remember Lumber Liquidators.\n |
| i don't know if he's british but i think it's him |
| I take it that you’re one of the 35% that’s shorting it? |
| I dont know a single coworker who particularly cares about investing |
| Ya, I was looking at SCHP and SGOV... they seem like they get the least wrecked. It's like that now |
| and Cash Patel was there |
| Getting my taxes, deposit in boring etf, end up with same amount after the dump. |
| link or i’m telling dad |
| Boned or boner? Time will tell. |
| Bols don't have 🍑 lying to their face over the weekend, so they chose to lie to themselves about the war ending.\n\n# I WISH I WAS MAKING THIS UP LMAO |
| I would say that even if it wasn’t true. |
| I'd commit a crime just for 1 kitkat |
| Buying Microsoft at open tomorrow so get ready for another -10% this week all MSFT longs. |
| They’re going to lure you in w a fake pump tomorrow. Dont fall for it. |
| It was chocolate that was stolen, not the candy. As in the ingredient |
| >I just want AI to hold my hand, smile at me, laugh with me, and express empathy\n\nWe'll get there, but we need higher density power storage first (like all solid state batteries), unless you want a sex doll that lays in bed all day and stays plugged into the wall. Fine for being at home but a bit limited in activities. \n \nThen you need to fit some more advanced robotics into a modern sex doll frame (and it doesn't necessarily have to be for sex, but the expensive sex dolls definitely have the most realistic or I should say *true-to-form* designs I've seen, like Dva from Gamelady, raise your eyebrow sure but I know you're googling already) so that you can have some articulation and reaction that doesn't break immersion in shitty or upsetting ways. Then you need some eye tracking cameras on their head or face (we already have this down very well in VR) so that they can maintain eye contact with you. The eyes will have to have very fast articulation or it'll look like they're high out of their minds. \n \nThis is also setting up for a lot of points of failure so maintenance has to be something you anticipate and accept. Sudden lazy eye could be fairly upsetting if you've developed a bond with something like this. You would have to be able to keep perspective mentally. \n \nNext you'd need an AI voice and companion setup, which we've seen can already work *decently* via some gpt wrappers but not amazingly. It would need to get convincingly and intimately better (which doesn't seem all that far away at this point). Because of that, you're likely going to be connected to a cloud service unless people start making really, really good and efficient local models you can run on a few expensive Nvidia GPUs at home, so at least a wifi connection. Highly unlikely to be able to run it locally within the unit itself, at least for now until we get more compact and highly power efficient models. Then again maybe running basic articulation and more advanced voice / personality is not as power intensive as I'm thinking. \n \nAnyway if you don't opt for a completely local setup for the AI portion for voice and controls, you'd be in a huge privacy nightmare. Or you just don't give a shit and do it anyway. I'd opt for local setups and spend more money if at all possible, especially when IR cameras are needed for eye tracking. \n \nYeah I've been thinking about this a fair amount, which means there are private and public companies thinking about this a lot because it could be an unsettling and also therapeutic gold mine, depending on your circumstances. If it becomes too good, it becomes socially disrupting. And if there was ever a time socially where it would be profitable, it's right now where you have a lot of people lonely and unable or unwilling to find companionship, and another huge swath of people that completely distrust modern dating and no longer think it's possible to find a life partner, only temporary partners before someone inevitably cheats or leaves. \n \nBut what is essentially a sex bot and permanent partner can be explicitly designed to never cheat on or leave you, of course. I think that is an aspect many people will seriously consider a positive after going through one too many heart breaks or becoming jaded from seeing reality too much and holding grudges. And that outcome will only make the situation worse, but for those that are lonely or have been hurt, it may actually bring them the happiness they've been lacking. \n \nYou could even set these dolls up in such a way that in addition to being a partner, they also function as therapists to help you work through the distrust you develop over time, for example, until you're ready to explore real dating again, even if that's not your goal. But mixing AI companion with AI therapist in a subtle and strong, healthy long-term goal sort of way is not going to be clean at first lol. To me that aspect would be when bots like this are very mature in the market and a lot of shit has already happened as a result of the existence of bots like that. \n \nThe immediate danger though, especially for what could be a decade or more of a first adopter phase, is developing real feelings for one of these AI dolls, rather than using it to satisfy basic needs and desires. But it's probably inevitable. Scifi has already predicted and explored this topic extensively. Interesting to think about. |
| I heard Ginny Sack masterminded the whole thing, but keep it on the down low |
| Streight of Hormuz? |
| The great Italian Kit Kat heist |
| keep coping bol, you're exit liquidity for smart bears |
| *This “pivot.” Is it in the room with us now?*\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.* |
| Can we pivot to Cuba yet? It’s nicer and cost way less. |
| It's called a halo plant and grows about 20 feet tall. It has round, yellow fruit rich in helium. |
| Watching bitchcoin race back to 66666.66 is honestly hysterical |
| You had me till Lil Ceasars |
| All tweets are fake and the rules don't matter |
| I did it |
| [ Removed by Reddit ] |
| I’m scared bigly |
| Thank you for your attention to this matter |
| Im gonna jerk off and go to class probably |
| *sets up camera*\n\nDay in the life waking up at 5am everyday 🤡 |
| Strippers near a base claiming soldiers coming in and saying they're getting deployed |
| What about uvix? |
| "holy war" WTF man... giving religious fanatics access to the highest levels of the US military may have not been the brightest Idea. |
| Sorry y’all I was feeling peckish |
| But i thought the war is already over |
| It sounds like a reason for Iran to escalate |
| Looks like we are being censured. War not goinf well |
| INOD - so underrated. Easy buy here. |
| Sell everything and just buy back lower. Simple. |
| You’re not grinding hard enough then |
| Become jew |
| i saw that one. Was it done by a british Buddha dude? If so i am creeped out for some reason. |
| You think we're in a time loop?\n\nSomebody look at the charts!!! |
| Life is like an RL Stine's choose your own adventure book, and most of you choose to put on the vampire mask |
| Maybe the real returns are the friends we made along the way |
| lol don’t hold your breath. |
| Stripper intel, plan accordingly\n\nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/s/i8e6Tw7ukS |
| Why are people betting on Jesus coming back? If I was Jesus I wouldn't be within a thousand miles of this shit. |
| James Bond. |
| Calls on diabetes. |
| Wut |
| Perma bears in shambles |
| Says who |
| Why is typing the word "manngo" (I know I typed 2 n's) triggering me a warning? Can't we even discuss about a freaking fruit?? |
| You’ve been oddly based this weekend. |
| Huge pump last 10 mins...wonder why right before futes open |
| Yeah get out of here dummy |
| Ber quote Momar Qaddafi and think rug pull |
| Bigly |
| Man I am tired of this hustle culture on Instagram |
| I blame 🌽 for this |
| No one in authority |
| War over by end of week! Huge news |
| That guy just said |
| i’m scared 😎 |
| Men of culture and money\n\nHeight? |
| did youtube suggest the "how easy it is to stop thinking" video to any of you? I think it might be a sign |
| Its pumping bro |
| how much of the production is that? I feel like it cant be thaaat much if its a single truck load... |
| Looks like the War’s ending. |
| AI is not capable of developing medications. I think what you're trying to say is that humans are developing new medications with the assistance of specialized software.\n\nHowever if you invented something that can do that, you should probably get off Reddit and contact a venture capitalist or news agency. |
| Checking my port each morning lately has been like opening a flap in the worst holiday advent calendar ever but I eat the vomit flavored jelly bean anyway. |
| Who dat |
| better buying puts/shorting companies that rely on it unfortunately |
| Bitcoin - United States dollar -> `66611.13951` (289.75 / 0.437%) |
| I’m intrigued. I’m also partially retarded |
| !p BTC |
| Holy bull copium in this thread, my lord |
| both retard, my ego is very fragile |
| Link? |
| Says who? |
| Looks like a great source of info |
| That’s a bar |
| Barry? |
| Fuck no. I’d rather eat a meal with fake diamonds so I can shit them out |
| RZLV 👀 earnings before open tomorrow morning! |
| no you were right the first half.\n\nsupport small |
| It’s tons and each kit kat is around 200g, so it’s actually around 60 thousand kit kats |
| Iranian parliament dude is one of us. |
| Make me. |
| War ending. Wow |
| Manifesting mango man announcing deal done before market open. |
| 🔥 🔥 🔥 |
| War ends this week |
| Ok, hope they get a good pay day then lol. The stock can tracked easily with batch numbers etc. They might be cooked if they sell it anywhere in the same country |
| Search and destroy missions for speedboats, drones and missile reserves, taking control of smaller islands along the strait. Stuff like that is what prevents the US of rolling in warships. There is a threat of underwater mines that will require control over the strait to be surveyed and sweeped. |
| *do you want to be right, or do you want to make money?* |
| Support local pizzas, fuck big chains, except for little ceasers |
| damn big dawg |
| How do you even resell kit kats? |
| Guys...Look at BTC!! |
| You do this thing called optimism I see...\n\nRefreshing! |
| So what’s the 7am announcement going to be this week? |
| 645 by Tuesday then it continues down 😉 |
Cozy with my puts for the coming 1-2 weeks\n\n The Kobeissi Letter (@KobeissiLetter) on X The US bond market is in major trouble today.
Just hours after President Trump's "10-day pause" of strikes on Iranian power plants, yields are at their highest... x.com |
| Pepperidge Farm remembers... |
| Also not safe in stagflation! |
| I have no idea where we are going tomorrow. But i do know one thing, having “SPY bearmarket/correction” headlines everywhere is the last thing 🍊wants in a midterm year. |
| https://x.com/mb_ghalibaf/status/2038348581535425002\n\nBols so fucked lmaooooooooooooo |
| Sounds like the bombing from last night and now they are confirming the damage |
| We heard you the first time |
| Who’s we? |
| Depends on if you think the war will continue to escalate. I do. |
| My portfolio is getting POV drone striked. |
| Keep DMing "Do you want to smash?" to everyone you match with until you get an affirmative. Anything else is filled with drama. |
| We're gonna fix war with more war. |
| I wouldn't go on Persian land if I was American military but that's just me |
| Cut out the electric and send in boots. 🥸 |
| SPY hits buy zone on the Buffett Indicator at $400 by the way lmao |
| Those are like the Hellen Keller of equities |
| My boy's channel is so trash. But I found these really cheap overseas click farmers and made it rain on him for $700. A few weeks later now and I asked the farmers how much did I buy and they just legit told me they were done a long time ago. |
| Straight from Grammar Hell to annoy you!\n\nDo you think they have any awareness that they're called homophones?! 😂\n\n\n |
| That's a lot of breaks. |
| Sorry bears, I tried to stay away from “simulate my returns” button but it was too loud.\n\nEvery time I use it, we end up with an insane no nonsense pump day.\n\nBe warned |
| ya I was just seeking confirmation. Would hav closed if people said its a good idea. But seeing all the bashing my confidence has increased :D\n\nTheir own logic is contradictory. If people are gonna lose their jobs and go broke wont they postpone their clothes purchases? Or will they stopover at Ross the day they get laid off. |
| When has America ever apologized for trashing another country? |
| between sobs, “believe it or not, calls” |
| That was last week. Fake tweet maybe gets a +0.33% chub then we grind down -8% by Thursday close. |
| Any body know some Helium stocks? |
| it was the boomer S&P |
| I am still here not because I want to. Its because that's what my life was for past many years. Its process not like a switch that anyone can just turn off. 🙂\nBut I agree, I need to stop visiting this sub eventually |
| Priced in |
| If SPY goes down any further, I guess my wife is going to find out about the loan in her name she didn't know about |
| Ghey af |
| I voted today in my local elections, I performed my civic dookey |
| I’m about Move into prison. Freedom Too expensive. |
| Too late to enter? |
| Let it marinate through economies first before recovering 🤌🤌 |
| From bombings on Friday, right? Not a new round of bombing infrastructure? |
| Weird huh |
| 400 000 bars x $1.50 = $600 000 bro. \n\nEven considering the discount they'd have to make due to the product being stolen goods, they'd probably make a shit ton. |
| 4x 100 grand would be good |
| I mean it does seem like everyone in here is bearish so probably. |
| The assailants are still at large and getting larger but never fear they won’t be driving tired they have enough to have a break have a Kit Kat |
| RZLV earnings call before market open. Wait to double my money and sell |
| Using all their boots in Lebanon. |
| They won't notice that until someone yells about eggs again |
| I voted today in my local elections, I performed my civic dookey |
| thinking of just taking the rest of the year off and enjoying my gains from last year, good luck boys |
| The only bond I know is Barry bonds, the baseball player |
| karma farming goober lol |
| 12 Trillion Kit Kats were stolen |
| Guys I had about 10k worth of META calls for may, aug and sept and 10k same for MSFT that I bought earlier last week. MSFT calls are down 30% and META about 60%. \nDo I DCA? The bottom has to be near..especially with companies like this growing 20% yoy and a PE of <20 \nEspecially the pre earnings run up we almost always see in tech. |
| I must say the thieves have poor taste. |
| Full port VIX calls print⁉️ |
| israel will participate with remote cheerleading. |
| i was down 30% so i sold everything and bought puts on friday. WE FINNA MAKE IT BACK THIS WEEK UH HUHH |
| [ Removed by Reddit ] |
| How dare you assume this .. |
| He’s the guy who tells other guys what to look like if you want guys to think you look good. |
| Recession got me researching bonds, y'all. BONDS! |
| Yah im regarded |
| Probably tons. Or tonnes to some more refined folk. |
| Eager to find out who they point their fingers at! |
| Exact same call I am looking at. Only 1 contract though, don't have 20k in capital lol |
| THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER |
| My conservative SPY targets for the week:\n\n• 643 - 645 on upside (SPX 6450 - 6470)\n\n• 627 - 625.50 on downside (SPX 6300 - 6285) |
| r/woooosh |
| #there’s boots on the ground in my portfolio and they’re fuckin shit up |
| People will cash out their ports and sit on cash forever, because cash is king, giving us all a generational buying opportunity… jk lmaooo |
| like directions. They'll give us tactical directives and strategic demands |
| satire died |
| Hope my spy call $617 expiring tomorrow sells ok and then buy $625 spy puts maybe. Maybe not. |
| They wouldn’t dare put themselves in harms way of the war they started! |
| Obviously trillion bro, are you retarded |
| What is, wsb regards? |
| Bruhs would you eat sushi grown in a lab? |
| $500-$750 for a good one |
| Is puts too obvious for tomorrow? |
| How would troops take control of the strait? |
| Dating these days is basically a months-long process of attempting to convince someone that you're more interesting/entertaining than what they could otherwise be seeing on their smartphone. Keep your thoughts simple and the vibes good, just like their favorite short-form content |
| Oil is gonna drop like $3 at open. \n\nThat’s the only trade I am gonna make until midweek. |
| Heads-up: Pre-market so-called “news” or “Truth” is often just a setup for profit-taking. Basically, it’s a reverse indicator. \n \nDo the opposite: If they pump it, short it. If they dump it, go long. \n \nSee something tomorrow? You know the drill.\n\n\-Speaker of parliament of Iran lmao |
| I Dont think its worth it to commit a crime to get a 400k payday. if it was 40mn or even 4mn then its understandable. a 10x leverage 0DTE gamble with 30k can get you 400k if done right |
| Also NASA Artemis 2 mission same day. Hopefully both go well. |
| i was contemplating but was too scared to lose my hard earned money lol |
| I volunteer to catch these Kit-cat burglars |
| But you can't time the bottom so it's totally worthless!! - literally every other stock and investing sub ,🙄 |
| upvoted for “key bump pumps” |
| Israeli officials report that if the U.S. launches a ground invasion of Iran, Israel will participate in other ways that is not boots on the ground. |
| [ Removed by Reddit ] |
| I just can't handle the suspense |
| That’s literally what some in the administration believe. |
| there's literally nothing mango can do, iran won |
| Puts on broccoli |
| Make sure u stay on that treadmill u chud |
| burrrrrrp.... (excuse me)... I didn't steal them |
| Marky Mark at it again in the Italian Job 2. This time, it's chocolate bars instead of gold bars. |
| !banbet |
| THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION IN THIS MATTER |
| You give people too much credit |
| ill be popping champagne the second i get the notification this old fuck is dead |
| My calls need this. |
| Thatd be....interesting |
| Tons |
| Tons |
| I mean I get why it's a big deal but why chocolate you'd have to get it sold and gone or have to pay to keep cold enough not to melt which seems like a huge risk to me |
| #YO THE SUNSPOT THEORY GUY WAS RIGHT AGAIN |
| I thought people were spelling it wrong as a joke because Trump spelled it that way |
| How do u steal this much kit kat ? I mean dont u need a big truck to load it? How hard is it to track that |
| Variety: Primarily a 4.9% ABV Pilsener, but also includes variants like 8% "Zwaar Bier" (Strong) and 10% "Extra Strong".\n\nI propose they start with the Zwaar.\n\nI can never remember if Aldi Nord is the one that is here in the USA or if it is the other Aldi. |
| Believe it or not, Puts |
| I did that recently and it was full of males |
| https://preview.redd.it/guaqudsel1sg1.jpeg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9bbb7357f4f12cb263a2370b49f3deb550b960f1 |
| I have news |
| ❤️🐻🌈 |
| They will this week when they go to fill their tank. And two weeks from now when their quarterly 401k statement hits their mailbox. |
| BREAKING \n\nIAEA confirms ‘severe damage’ to Iranian nuclear facility\n |
| *“Yeah, we’ll probably have a small relief rally tomorrow.”*\n\nHoly copium, Batman 📉 |
| \> electricity gets cut of Iran \n\> rumours of ground invasion \n\> rumours of nukes being potentially deployed in the future \n\> Hegseth keeps referring to "holy war" and plans ground invasion during Easter\n\nmadness.\n\n |
| Does this post still hang true? Because if you bought when vix was over 30 at the time of this post, you got wrecked and vix is over 30 again... |
| My csp for LUNR are about to hit for 17.50. time for covered calls! I really think you can seesaw LUNR from 14 to 22 for quite a while. |
| Why anyone refers to the Dow is beyond me |
| Calls Nestlé to the Moon! /s |
| Gas doubling is nothing. If oil prices stay high, we’ll see a new wave of inflation across the board |
| they dont care their portfolios are down thats curious |
| fine, let’s do your thing. |
| Doubt it |
| 12 tons is over 400,000 bars. If you sold all of them for a dollar that would be a great payday. |
| AI can create a website and help you with marketing... can be from walking you through advertising your business to setting up a chatbot that you instruct sufficiently about your business that someone can text with to find out if you can handle the type of job they need. The possibilities are really limitless. All these things take time so it is not just magic that happens on its own. As to handling calls there are existing companies that have developed systems that you might be able to use (creating in AI yourself would probably take too long and your result would probably be not great). I am not familiar with them but with my recent exposure to really using AI it is like my mind opened to the possibilities whereas before I was thinking about AI as something you can just ask questions to or even give it data and have you give a response. The ability to create programs, agents, apps, etc to be available in my business to do tasks that previously people did or to help with them has me thinking up a never-ending list of things we can do. |
| The goal of the war seems to have shifted to opening the Strait of Hormuz. \n\n\nWhich was open before the war. |
| fuck it all in on jesus christ making a return before 2027 on polymarket |
| It was down big last 3 days. I’m thinking if there isn’t any significant bad news then it will probably go up tomorrow. \n\nI wouldn’t bet on it though |
| Yes. The gay oil still flows. |
| The avg person is an idiot, and half are dumber than that. |
| 12 trillion tons of kit kats. Hope it's original flavor and not the weird shit |
| Everyone thinks relief rally so -4% it is |
| Gonna be at a work conference this week wearing my monkey suit\n\nI'd rather be at home wearing my birthday suit\n\nIt is what it is\n\n😒 |
| After killing everyone in their government lmao? “Yeah so uhhh, sorry bout that” lmao |
 Sophie Rain on Instagram: "got milk?" 504K likes, 6,318 comments - sophieraiin on March 14, 2026: "got milk?".  www.instagram.com |
| We are close to the bottom. Don’t be too bearish. |
| Pepsi first. |
| Ew dude yours is way fkd up and unsanitary. |
| Basically you get with someone that is trying to pig butcher you and then sleep with your boys |
| Best just get a hobby and join a club |
| that's the point \n\ninverse the regards |
| It’s Joever |
| Why does everyone in here act like a 3x etf will lose money even faster than a 0dte will? |
| What’s the cost of the bukkake special? |
| Sometimes you know you need to make... sacrifices |
| Yep |
| Y'all are insane |
| The DOW is over....ah forget it. |
| In the near fute. |
| literally said this a day before the fake 🥭 iran deal: https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/1s0vjnn/comment/obyt9m9/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button |
| My moves for tomorrow are to suck pussy and get a negative net worth after it. |
| if you see someone you think is cute, you go talk to them\n\nthis has worked for thousands of years |
| The great KitKat heist |
| #there’s boots on the ground in my portfolio and they’re fuckin shit up |
| AI doesn't mean AGI. AI/ML has been used to develop new medications for twenty years now. |
| 105 minutes |
| I see you’re in the market for a gentleman latte |
| The final boss of incels. |
| On a real note, I believe its because average IQ has been increasing far faster over time. Hear me out, though! Lately, heavily on the decline in trend. Puts on IQ as of late. |
| That one already took 15 years off my life |
| space stonks ftw, all for it! |
| AOC pleeeeeease use me as a toilet 💦🤣 |
| Fuck this old crusty dude has Fox News on next to me at the gym and I’m catching contact autism |
| I would assume this is Russian black market candy thievery |
| How did Tennessee get this far? They stink today |
| Boots on the ground after Easter. |
| Wen futes |
| 90% cash until proven otherwise...My VTI limit buys begin at around 290 on down. |
| i don't think it will go under 50$ |
| that's medical attention 🤫 |
| **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/Thick-Monk-969** bet **USO** goes from **126.44** to **130.0** before **31-Mar-2026 04:14 PM EDT**\n\nTheir record is 0 wins and 0 losses.\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| !Banbet USO 130 2d |
| So... calls right? |
| Yea that’s the important part |
| Morning rally to 675 then plunge to 390 before Power Hour to end flat |
| What kind of TACO tweets are bulls even coping about... are they expecting a "we recognize Iran's authority of the strait" lmao |
| **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/comps226** bet **SPY** goes from **632.85** to **625.0** before **30-Mar-2026 04:14 PM EDT**\n\nTheir record is 0 wins and 0 losses.\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| The kit kat bandit strikes again.\n\n\nSeriously though, check in on your polish pothead buddies. The obvious suspects are usually the culprits. |
| !banbet SPY 625 1d |
| Who is this 'clavicular' person and why is he suddenly in my feed? |
| Yeah there's a lot of reddit going "well if you can't time the bottom or top then VT and chill" people too |
| old school play book by Donald Pump, let see on Mon if exit liquidity trust in it, or not |
| Kit-kits were pulled from Russia. This is Nestlé running an insurance scheme stealing their own product to sell where they arent supposed to. |
| World of warcraft |
| Like wrapping a gun shot wound in duct tape and thinking it’s all good. |
| The problem is I can't really hoard beer unless I have some sort of time delayed safe. |
| I remember going on vacation to Disney with my friend when I was in middle school. His parents rented a house with a pool that was covered in a net. I found out that shit was necessary cus the cicadas were swarming like a biblical apocalypse. Y’all are like Australia with all the wildlife lol |
| What the heck are the thieves even going to do with 12 tons of kitkat lol?🥀 |
| How does dating work nowadays? I haven't dated since years, and never through dating apps |
| Ole boxcar bitch |
| Ugh. The yucky part of Florida 🤣 \n \nThat said, I’d recognize those price tags anywhere. Get a PubSub to go with those malts! |
| Is gay open? |
| [ Removed by Reddit ] |
| Priced in |
| Unless your loss is my gain |
| Ai i feel ya. Sold a position way too early. Now I just bought in and will let it go |
| 102.5 WTI |
| Probably ending up in Iranian black market |
| Chocolate, pantyhose, cigarettes.\n\nLet's go. |
| The good news, less fat people. |
| #SPY is actually very close to the bottom. It only needs to drop another 25-30% from here. LMAO🤌 |
| Oh so I guess there's a long way to go down then. |
| That cop arresting Tiger in Jupiter is probably getting treated like Mark Wahlberg shooting Jeter at Yankee stadium in the other guys |
| Considering there's still troops still on the way and not in the region yet.... huh? |
| Enjoy the ban |
| 🧠 |
| I don’t know. It’s definitely not bullish by any means. But there was no big huge black….swan event this weekend. \n\nThere hasn’t been a relief rally, not there’s anything to rally for. But a lot of people shorted Friday before close….\n\n |
| This close to april fools? |
| So is it now in trans territory? |
| 🤣 |
| Mabe cash cross eyed Patel and bondis onlyfans will get hacked by Iran |
| I frequent sperm banks |
| Gimme a break |
| Im still waiting on my luggage. |
| Weird. They don't notice gas doubled? |
| Im not sure if he even knows |
| You’d be surprised how much theft there is for convenience store type items. 12t is a lot. An entire transport trailer full would be my guess. |
| Strait |
| So what will oil open to? |
| Goonmaxxing rn |
| 3 |
| Prob small rally +0.4% and all the bulls and value investors will come out of hiding again |
| put at 655 and pltr call at 155. should i sell palantir or roll it? |
| What? |
| Burn!!!\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/g0u43j9lk1sg1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9e9694f7edf15e7788309760a3335062f90296e3 |
| I wonder if the thieves will split the profits... |
| Ross is ridiculously expensive. |
| i caught the move from 88-96ish on futes just didn’t think it would go straight up from there 🥴 |
| I have too many puts and bear etf shares. Trump will tell the market something in pre-market. Probably tell about how Iran is begging for mercy. |
| Try not to cry challenge: impossible |
| Calls on ozempic |
| He’s gonna live longer than your portfolio ever will |
| Need LUNR to hit 25 too |
| Wen circuit breaker |
| What do these highly regarded people think they can do with 12T of chocolate, you can't eat them all. If you try to sell them good luck offloading 12 T without getting caught. Even if you do manage to sell, the combined sales won't even be a good pay day.\n\nHighly regarded. Just donate the chocolates to children's charity, at least some children will be happy |
| Your loss is my gain |
| Whatever. I'm not smart. |
| You son of a bitch, I’m in!! |
| The avg person doesn’t give a fuck about this “war” I feel like a panican talking abt it with family/coworkers |
| Lights just went out in Tehran. Ruh-roh! |
| Uh you lost |
| AOC can walk on my face with her sweaty pantyhose |
| 2 hours until -18% Nasdaq futures |
| Omniscient |
| Did you seriously think helium was grown from plants? |
| Have a break-in they said. |
| [ Removed by Reddit ] |
| wat, haha, check my comments |
| The amount of people speaking like geopolitical experts and still spelling it the STRAIGHTS of Hormuz. \n\n1. It is not fucking plural! \n2. Does it looking fucking straight to you, retard? |
| Yes |
| IM...STILL...STANDIN AFTER ALL THIS TIME 🕺🇺🇸 |
| Brokeback Mountain 2 starring tropicalia84 and GoZukkYourself |
| my god, call in the military. who knows what could happen if 12T of KK falls into the wrong hands |
| Small rebound incoming. US troops will start small skirmishes to take control of the straight while peace talks are arranged by Pakistan. I have 40k riding on SPY closing above 640 on Thursday |
| IS IT FINALLY 🅱️UCKIN 🅱️APPENING?\n\n👁️👄👁️ |
| I need a new, offline, hobby |
| Nope |
| Why can’t they use helium they need to float the ships over UAE/Oman? Checkmate Iran |
| Nvm war canceled |
| Try not to cry.\n\nI keep telling myself, "Just hold it together. He can't live forever." |
| Finally, I’ll be able to focus |
| Id rather stick to eating my feelings than pay the doordash fees |
| Its where all our old balloons land |
| 12 trillion kitkats!?! /s |
| We have Quarterly rebalancing and JPM collar to deal with. Volatility isn’t gone yet. |
| AOC ALL DAY |
| You ever seen a woman with a dad bod/beer gut and she wasn’t pregnant?? That’s such a crazy build |
| i sweep chimneys as a side gig, u make a lot of money it could be worse |
| I bought 20k Canadian oil the day of the war and people said it was too late on Reddit. It’s up 20% from then |
| AOC or Shapiros Sister |
| 12 trillion Kit Kats? Crikey |
| $9 |
| This is lame penny stock scam shit go away |
| thx, love a futurama reference |
| Youre a little late bud. Just buy on open and RIDE |
| Natural gas has helium mixed in it in the ground |
| Buy USO and relax |
| it’s the Lord’s week which apparently just means we’re gonna get nailed harder than He did |
| PDYN |
| i caught the dip at $70 |
| On Friday all my silver puts gained in value. |
| Wouldn’t an exit mean he’s going “cash gang” |
| Jesus knows. He's omnipotent. |
| Damn Chuck Norris really was the glue holding everything together |
| **another day another dollar. good morning** |
| Watch it got to 615 |
| I’m going to ban myself from this sub for the next four days. I bet my port increases significantly because of it. |
| They missed a golden opportunity to say they were "Takin' a break" |
| Hello, this is the operator with a collect call from - MARGIN - do you accept the charges? |
| Define peak bearishness as something that has never happened once in history challenge! |
| It could be any of us. |
| Provbbalue $38 |
| Pucked? |
| The thousands of dollars that I've spent on doordash the past couple years would sure come in handy about now. |
| https://preview.redd.it/5xoprof0k1sg1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cbe4b5065718802a404288661d7f597f720a3d9f\n\nNow’s as good of a time as ever to use this image |
| 12T is a lot of nip |
| What happened after tiger woods got his dui in 2009 what happened in the market anyone remember ??? |
| How tf is helium coming from a desert country |
| Supply and consumer safety may get affected if the stolen goods end up being sold in corner stores and mom and pops shops.\n\nI know large retail chains won't buy these because their supply chain needs to be verifiable, but if I start seeing KitKat bars in the region being sold for a discount from some small independent shop I'm going to be thinking.\n\nHell, I'm not gonna lie, if I still ate candy I'd probably stock up. |
| Actually, $300 a month forever is a lot more than $2,000. |
| Hope so otherwise my RKLB calls are cooked 😭 |
| Good idea, I forgot the lube last week. Still burning |
| Its all shares but yes 😂 |
| I tried to save you, now hope that it works |
| OIL squadron, REPORT FOR DUTY! |
| you can go line up and get your picture taken with the bull or bear |
| Crying behind a Wendy’s probably |
| [some sneaky reserves playing this old trick are going to be fucked](https://youtu.be/v8Ha6tNvRUg?si=HQNEN7ULn568trzI) |
| Tomorrow? Pray. |
| I think everyone who bought puts regardless of strike and date will be rich tomorrow. Spy going to 0 |
| The crazy part is literally only one guy does |
| please don’t laugh at me i’m scared |
| Oh my gourd! \n\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.* |
| Or being able to because they lost it all |
| $17 |
| Stop having so much money so you won't be at risk of losing it. Hope that helps |
| Anyone doing better with sports bets and events now? |
| End of the day a lot depends on your business. You asked a question and I gave a partial answer as to how it might be able to be done. Without someone knowing the specifics of your business and how you do things can't really give a better answer. |
| they let u play hockey in the bar? |
| You should overtrade |
| Calls |
| Chim chim cheree |
| I mean it looks like we are invading according to Polymarket. |
| Buying lots of calls tomorrow morning and logging off my brokerage (until later that afternoon) |
| He’s a mod and only comments to spew bol propaganda. |
| Artemis II launches Weds to take humans to the moon. Space stonks +50% this week. That's what Elon says ahead of his SpaceX IPO |
| Lol calls on OIL |
| Silver 80 this week? |
| Show them your port |
| That’s a great deal!! |
| I think so too. I've invested in energy since demand will increase |
| Anyone else excited to buy HOOD at $40?\n\nOr maybe $30\n\nLet’s go! |
| Jesus nobody knows what will happen |
| My moves for tomorrow are: be ready with lube |
| how about we...*UP THE ANTE*🫴🚁🛫✨🚢 |
| Tennessee fan? |
| Feels like the twilight zone when prediction markets are so blatantly overrun by inside trading that people look to prediction markets as the source of truth and it actually works |
| Sell everything and full port into fidget spinners. I promise they are making a comeback. |
| He's gotta run out of fake tweets soon, right? Right?? |
| Why the spike and then the drop off on the odds??? |
| \n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 1 | **First Seen In WSB** | 9 months ago\n**Total Comments** | 3 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 3 years | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| Whatever happened to GoZukkYourself, the weak and loud type? |
| Don’t do it all at once. Spread it out |
| don't tell the bears |
| Im down for a black monday situation |
| I hope u suffer |
| this is the dystopian cyberpunk future i was promised \ntech billionaires with privatized militaries should be up next |
| r/usernamchecksout |
| Probably a reason they caused blackouts |
| 😂😂😂 |
| Israel is hitting them pretty hard currently. Iran just hit Iraq infrastructure as well. |
| send active duty soldiers -> warn reservists (we are here) -> call up reservists -> ...\n\nand u are bullish? |
| you can't sue us for unintended side effects, sue the AI that created it! |
| Bagholder spotted.\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.* |
| Jpow announcement tonight about supporting markets etc etc etc |
| #Ban Bet Lost\n\n/u/unique_ptr made a bet that SPY would go to 625.0 within **1 week** when it was 653.271 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.\n\nTheir record is now 1 wins and 3 losses\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| block every single one of em, bunch of npcs and bots |
| Anybody have any ideas on the best way to tell your kids that they're going to need to start working as chimney sweeps? |
| Probably gonna be the Great Plains of Theta until something big happens tbh. |
| Siri...play *DANGER ZONE*🫴🛫 |
| The day’s coming where we see circuit breakers. I just know it LMAO |
| Ahhh the old "catch the falling knife" technique |
| double digit is generous |
| Large airstrikes targeting iranian energy infrastructure. Will the invasion begin? |
| Hold. |
| EOM, start if April... yeah agreed |
| Is helium a good play boys ? Reading 40 percent helium comes from Qatar and lot of Qatar facilities are destroyed. Helium plays a big role in AI buildout with chips etc. I do own Aspi cause of uranium but they announced last week their helium site will be up and running in south Africa in q2, but I’m sure there are better helium plays out there |
| Does anyone remember what happened in the market when tiger woods got his first nationwide dui ???? |
| If this doesn't de-escalate soon the drops we've seen so far will be looked back on as the good ol' days. |
| https://www.reddit.com/r/oil/comments/1s754zb/iran_energy_infrastructure_attacked_similar/\n\n\n\n\nImma head for the hills and cut some firewood |
| Almost time to lose money. |
| Any gooners in here? |
| Being a ground force in the age is drones, you have to have large testicals man |
| It’s pretty much peak bearishness. You can’t time these things, fellow retard |
| Hoping to exit for a small positive tomorrow on the fake pump that will inevitably happen 👍🏼 |
| I think that’s just here. I feel like the average person isnt concerned yet |
| Guessing GLD and SLV is gonna take a shit too with SPY |
| SPY -7% Monday\n\nStimmy checks Tuesday\n\nFlat rest of the week\n\nRinse, repeat |
| This is one of those “yes, but…”s where the but is really important |
| Vixy |
| And bulls are here talking about shrek dildos and calls printing. So it cancels out. |
| my Exxon mobil stock is up 12% should i sell and take the win now? anyone technical can help |
| To each other? And make up? |
| first one feels like skill\nthe next ones teach you it wasn’t |
| Mods, scalp this man if he doesn’t provide proof |
| Curl up in shower and cry |
| You're right, and I was wrong |
| Why |
| 🅱️eekend 🅱️ow looking extremely bearish |
| It’s all beer. If you can find a 12 pack of anything that’s selling for less than a dollar a can. The fucking deal. But everything is stupid expensive now. Hipsters made the IPA is two dollars a beer. |
| Just pucked badly at my local bar |
| As long as Chinas ships go trough strait, they rather support Iran the same way as Nato support Ukraine. It is undermining petrodollar. |
| Bulls🍤\n\n\n#BIG BRAIN BEARS🍆 |
| If people are talking about buying a dip it’s not peak bearishness. Peak bearishness is nobody wanting to buy at all |
| Fake tweet sends us +1% on open, then we slow bleed to about -4% through the week |
| Same time every Sunday |
| there is definitely going to be a retarded tweet about peace talks that gives me an oil entry right guys? |
| What's the way out |
| Bondi needs a wrecked choco taco |
| 75% chance of a US invasion into Iran by April 30. We are cooked |
| I think he's blown his manipuload on this particular situation tbh. Market wants real developments. These key bump pumps are losing their potency. |
| Thanks for the CVNA shout out.\n\nJets is probably a good trade |
| that was barely a rally, when it pumps you will know, im talking +5% on SPY day |
| **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/Tasty_Specialist3234** bet **SPY** goes from **632.85** to **620.0** before **30-Mar-2026 04:04 PM EDT**\n\nTheir record is 0 wins and 0 losses.\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| !Banbet SPY 620 1d |
| That’s a helluva deal |
| War = inflation, inflation = print more money, print more money= stock go up? |
| Thought 🥭 attacked earlier than what he said. Whew |
| TSLA⬆️ |
| Moving the goalposts *AGAIN*\n\nLmfaooooooooooo |
| MSFT and META. Oversold af with forward PE’s below 20. Buy and don’t look at it for 5 years |
| Looking at polymarket, there shouldn’t be any troops on the ground before tuesday? unless ‘invasion’ is the technical term that determines the payout. Someone correct me? |
| Full port USO calls. We’ll get a TACO so fast |
| Can't wait for the remake for a more modern audience! |
| DO NOT REDEEM |
| Futures r mooning |
| It did, but the market is waiting for anything positive to jump |
| Hold. Nothing much else one can do. |
| What's 🥭 tweeting tomorrow before market opens |
| Watch my portfolio bleed out |
| Canadian oil has my erections lubricated |
| I’ve yet to see a cargo ship that can run on wind energy or industrial lubricants made from solar. |
| Poly market odds for an invasion is crazy rn |
| Yeah, sometimes a little before 9pm UK time even |
| Not yet |
| I will be messaging you in 2 hours on [**2026-03-29 22:02:51 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2026-03-29%2022:02:51%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/1s7580i/what_are_your_moves_tomorrow_march_30_2026/od6umwr/?context=3)\n\n[**1 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fwallstreetbets%2Fcomments%2F1s7580i%2Fwhat_are_your_moves_tomorrow_march_30_2026%2Fod6umwr%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202026-03-29%2022%3A02%3A51%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.\n\n^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%201s7580i)\n\n*****\n\n|[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)|\n|-|-|-|-| |
| Vasoline |
| Your marriage is contingent upon a 9% loss during a bear market? I don’t know who to laugh at for being more of a dumbass. |
| Spent my entire weekend on WSB, I'm cursed |
| What you going for? I might double my ONDS position. |
| "when this is done" LOL |
| Nice one! What's your exit strategy on this? I usually try to set a target price and stick to it, but YOLO plays can be tough to predict. |
| That was a few hours ago, apparently they have it coming back |
| My calls go to zero.\n |
| Gold rally tomorrow confirmwd ? |
| Bonds need to get wrecked for full taco |
| mods, ban this man if he doesnt provide proof. |
| You already have a bet going - MSFT to 395.0 before 18-Apr-2026 08:14 PM -05 |
| RemindMe! 48 hours |
| mango and murica need to apologize |
| !banbet MSFT 385$ 1w |
| Probably |
| Yo momma loves dip i heard |
| Bers way too smug rn. Do with that info what you will. |
| Picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue. |
| Absolutely, it’s almost peak bearishness in here |
| 📩 New mail for bols: >!YOU WERE EXIT LIQUIDITY 🫵🏻🤡!< |
| I’m gonna buy something oil related so that it’ll go back down. Any suggestions? |
| !remindme 2h |
| My kids are watching Back to the Future. The nostalgia. |
| We get these white caterpillars everywhere too. It's their season until they coccoon, but if you touch one it'll make you itch worse than fiberglass. |
| Troops on the ground? Calls it is |
| 1-2h |
| Maybe he’s seeing how well the military can take over countries s Venezuela may have been a Wendy’s dumpster. Iran has real weapons and it shows. \n\nWhen this is done, does he go from regular difficulty up to Hardened or does he bring it back to Recruit and take Cuba? |
| Why did we start the war again? 300$/month from every tax payer for this war and NOT winning. Absolute dumbfucks. 2000$ promised checks would have been cost less. |
| See how far VWRP gaps down on the LSE based on the US slide on Friday, and decide whether to DCA more into it.. hoping for sub 120 |
| Yeah anyone with triple digit IQ can see the fugazi |
| OPEN THE FUTES🫴💥 |
| Shrek Monday |
| How small are you that you can put your whole hand in a coffee tumbler? |
| Is anyone buying this dip? |
| Can't wait for futures in 2 hours so the double digit iq people can post "bull fucked" and "bear fucked" over 0.1% swings. |
| For the first time since the war started, I see almost everyone being bearish. Even just a week ago, i saw people saying the war is priced in. Maybe this is a sign that we are close to the bottom? |
| I dunno this guy is wrong an awful lot |
| Just pucked all over my local bar |
| LMFAOOOO |
| Stahp |
| Just buy oil at market open and if it doesn’t tank it’ll keep going up for a month probably |
| #oilgang riseup |
| **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/StiffmeisterSteve** bet **SPY** goes from **632.85** to **645.0** before **30-Mar-2026 04:01 PM EDT**\n\nTheir record is 0 wins and 1 losses.\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| Soup to nuts |
| Be nice to your masters. ☝️ |
| People are going broke and you want to short the store that poor people shop at? |
| Power outages being reported in Iran after US-israeli strikes |
| !banbet SPY 645 1d |
| Packing and selling my bags upon open, this is a lost case and I'd rather lose it on Wendy's than watch it burn |
| I’m gonna lose so much money this week |
| probably gonna dump more into those green energy calls i've been watching. market's been wild this week but the momentum looks solid for tomorrow. |
| Inverse yourself 🤷♂️ |
| Didn’t Iran say Chinese ships can go through? |
| Do the opposite of whatever you’ve been doing. |
| I’m a bear that acts on pure instinct. |
| Futes are gonna pump, even if there’s an initial gap down. Just mark my words. Just completely in oversold territory (short term). |
| they say we come to earth to learn to love. but how can you love buls they are so retarded |
| Approved ✅ |
| i would like to sign up for the barron investor newsletter please |
| \n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 4 | **First Seen In WSB** | 4 years ago\n**Total Comments** | 39 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 9 years | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| TACO Tuesday will arrive early this week |
| what are your moves tomorrow thread is the like the queue to the casino, lets go regards. OPEN THE CASINO ALREADY!!! |
| 100% cash feeling good, tomorrow ill feel less good cuz i m gonna buy qqq puts |
| Doomsday prepping prices |
| I’m from SC but you know, southeastern shit. Hate those big fuckers and now the weather has them all over the sidewalks and shit. |
| Don't sell them at the same time, you get a lot more for the second one |
| They have hella coal and renewables |
| I am down $95k YOY. Give me some advice for tomorrow please!!! |
| F off, down 8% on all the “safest” mega caps that will be back up. lol |
| 👋 |
| Wouldn't now be a good time to get back in? War is over in a month or so from what understand, market will correct hard and you can sell at a gain |
| Turkey on rye with Muenster cheese plus all the normal sandwich stuff. |
| I’m a bear who likes statistics. I’ll long at SPX 2000 |
| This excursion is here to stay brother |
| Isn’t all this 5x worse for China because they supply all their oil from abroad?\n\nGoing long this week because China will step in and force Iran to take a deal before this gets out of hand. |
| Your mom telling you to find a real job doesn't count. |
| When you stick your whole hand into a coffee tumbler to clean it does it remind you of anything in particular? No? Just me? Oh |
| Let me know when the dip is dippiest. |
| If i get 30 upvotes i will buy MSFT 380$ calls for Thursday worth 5k. |
| "too many bears here" there's been "too many" bears for this entire month lmao |
| Fap with sand paper |
| Huh |
| Dow transportation is telling us it's not at the bottom yet ... |
| Big green dildo tomorrow open |
| Do NOT open the casino |
| We all probably missed the dip |
| Artemis II launches Weds to take humans to the moon. Space stonks +50% this week |
| What kind 🤨 |
| That’s the wrong way to spell “jorkin it to femboys” |
| Oili oili |
| blackrock has most of the bitcoins, the moment they decide to liquidate it is when bitcoin gets fucked |
| Scalp some oil pennystocks overnight then buy puts at open, sell, then cash gang overnight. |
| Yallah bol yallah |
| A true test for investors' diamond hands.\n\nMeanwhile, I am mustering liquidity to buy when we hit -10-15% from ATD. Got 130k to enter 😀 |
| Stay a life |
| Sydney Sweeney's brother has been deployed to Iran. We live in a timeline where this has a non-zero chance of effecting the President's next decisions. I may need to quickly move into vertical spreads ... |
| Literally that |
| This excursion is prep for the Greenland and Canada invasion later this year. |
| Houthis?!? |
| I have been having productive talks with women |
| VIX is the only play |
| Keep |
| Do kidney prices also fluctuate on a daily basis? Like what's the best time to sell your kidneys? |
| Still waiting for bOoTs On GrOuNd LMFAOOOO |
| Straight is still not open\n\nDO NOT ENTER THE CASINO - DEAD INSIDE |
| I want to let you all know that I am eating a sandwich and it’s awesome. |
| Bulls with a humiliation fetish are going to have an amazing week |
| Finally normal p/e all over the market. Idk what to buy next |
| not a single retard monitoring the situation |
| FOR BERKANDA! |
| Flat for next week is my bet |
| Does the thread usually switch at this time? |
| Sell or keep my oil stocks.\n\nDon't know yet xD |
| they got EV jets and helicopters that will successfully turn back to refuel 20% on the way onto the taiwan target. |
| Whoa first to the new thread how crazy. Probably a little red in am then greener to recover into the day a little cat bounce then more down to go |
| So you discovered AGI and are just choosing not to become the world's first trillionaire and tell the entire rest of the world about it, because why exactly...? |
| You’re gonna get WRECKED and I’m here with popcorn. Godspeed you excessively chromosomed degenerate. |
| if spy I'd -2% tomorrow it's filet mignon and the finest Colombian blow for the rest of the week |
| Everyones a rat. Especially Ali abdelaziz |
| Its almost like SPY vomited all of its insides over the past month or something\n\nweird... |
| New thread, who dis? |
| Goodbye |
| Ugh |
| Time to party |
| I have 634p cooking for tomorrow, would be nice if we opened down 1% but I'd be fine w a rebound to reload even more puts |
| When futes |
| 2,200 miles 😭 |
| Straight ber coward logging in sir! |
| You are not addicted to the dopamine shots that hit you when your insignifiant comment get a couple of upvotes on the wsb daily feed.\n\n\nYou are actively monitoring the geopolitic tensions around the world |
| Is anyone buying tech stocks on Monday? |
| wallahi bolfuk |
| Polymarket says only 9% chance of ground invasion… |
| watching this sp500-usdc chart,\n\nthe fact that it just tickled over the 629 SPY equivalent at 7AM ET today made me get a chub\n\nthanks guys |
| GoT S8 = 🥭 S2 |
| First |
| Wouldn’t it make more sense to align with the new timeline for next Friday? Also, troops are still being moved in and probably aren’t in position. It’s like how for 3 weekends people were predicting which weekend the bombing would start and generally did. If the negotiation deadline is pushed back again, I wouldn’t expect next weekend to be the one for a ground assault. |
| Mission failed, we'll get em next time |
| He is still in the denial phase. |
| im a lil worried about this beekend ending |
| I'm sure more puckibng will be down from the mothership before long |
| Thanks for the location. Only 48 hours away. I’ll drive and grab two next week |
| \n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 3 | **First Seen In WSB** | 4 years ago\n**Total Comments** | 39 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 9 years | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| I have no idea what you’re going on about other than stringing random words together. \n🤡 |
| Unpopular opinion- Draft Old Milwaukee is really good |
| People will look for discounts when gas is $6 dollars a gallon. Maybe wait |
| What is it at? |
| Yup it’s like the final boss of Incel culture. |
| Agree, this is honestly the only reason I see that they wouldn’t do it in the near future. Strategically otherwise feels like a great time, for several reasons. |
| Peekend Bow! |
| People here saying Ross does well in a bad economy but it's been going up a lot since Nov. The market didn't top until Feb. Did Ross investors know a war was coming? |
| Pretty funny that everyone who praises or donates to the mango gets absolutely screwed over.\n\nEven the cryptobros. Hahahha |
| **There isn't going to be a V this time. We're heading into a lost decade.** |
| It's spiking from 15 to 45% but by April 30th it's at 90% up from 60% last Friday. |
| Crazy weird liquidity for iran polymarket i wonder if DoD will buy no as a diversion and to fund troop payouts |
| Futes Open -0,5% then intraday -3,5 % then mango post pump to 0% then it fades then -5%\n |
| Ok nevermind, crazy pump and dump on poly |
| Lmfao typical bers moving the goalposts 🥅 🤡 |
| It's fluctuating a ton rn idk why |
| Migrant workers is putting it lightly. Slave labor is more accurate. |
| I too like to do acid |
| You missed the Jim bean buyout and so did I 😔 |
| I need to renew my mortgage later this year, I'm going to be completely fucked if the interest keeps going up |
| Bers |
| Deadass all we have to do is IPO THE STRAIT LMFAO |
| lucky if they get paid? |
| 🙏 for the special forces on their not so secret missions. |
| WSB retards don’t own a house, let alone are literate enough to know what that is |
| $HORMZ |
| but how to war without oil? |
| rats are just the birds of the ground |
| Well duh, the market is closed. |
| African Football makes mango look honest and competent |
| This is SO going south, the only thing to hold over the weekend was puts |
| > They are out of ideas to save the global structure.\n\nSave? It really feels like the current admin is trying very hard to destroy the existing world order. |
| Okay incel I know about those, enough said 😅 |
| Hormuz forecast to report $94 EPS, up 2,047% yoy |
| Lemme sell your house |
| That's when I have a year's worth of appointments because my secretary thought it wasn't a real date. |
| Which NATO? |
| no crying in the casino please |
| I don't need to reboot, it crashes on its own. 😀 |
| Boots on the ground = no more public appearances for Orange for the rest of the year |
| But then you have to drink PBR. |
| I have a BIG magnet and am wondering where to put it on my MacBook to brick it before throwing out 🧲 🧱 |
| \#Blessed |
| China gonna take Taiwan and cut off chips as an extra fuck you for cutting off their oil. SPY -50% |
| Not true\n\nThere’s also retards |
| Spy could easily reach that this year |
| How’d you lose money shorting silver? |
| Most people in Dubai are migrant worker who are ineligible for citizenship even after living there for several generations. \n\nhttps://www.npr.org/2026/03/17/nx-s1-5745692/migrant-workers-trapped-gulf-war\n\nhttps://www.hrw.org/news/2023/12/03/questions-and-answers-migrant-worker-abuses-uae-and-cop28\n\nhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kafala_system\n\nhttps://www.cfr.org/backgrounders/what-kafala-system |
| Thanks ai |
| oh is that how it works? can you help me with my math homework too nerd? |
| Im gay and puckibng. |
| Birds are just the rats of the sky |
| Polyamory def is the way to get my news |
| Too many bears in here |
| Did we put the boobs on the ground bc polym says so |
| I just checked, it’s 75c per KWH now. I think that pricing i mentioned was for back when it was mid 50s. \n\nThat’s actually insane. \n\nNote this is public fast chargers. But we still pay 30-40 at home. |
| Corn precedes the market, black Monday otw boys |
| A lot of them can't reed. |
| Don't they get like a deployment bonus? |
| Fuck look at polymarket for invasion March 31, shit is going down |
| I did |
| Here to liberate you from your over bought calls |
| Boljizz |
| By |
| Nah we see 600 before 750 |
| New survey results: 67% of students think that the more they use AI for schoolwork, the more it will hurt their critical thinking skills. |
| I did now what |
| : the Adam Friedland story |
| You’re a special kind of stupid |
| 1,800 U.S. Marines deployed to buy SPY Calls on monday |
| Look at this photograph |
| No im serious that’s crazy tbh. |
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| it's 14% |
| Thank you for your service, bag holder |
| Remedies for male pattern baldness are a goldmine no matter how fraudulent they are, though. |
| The only tweet that gets the market to rally would be from an Iranian official saying they’ve agreed to open the strait. Market has tuned out the idiot at 1600 Pennsylvania. |
| The bulls flaming hyperliquid are straight up looking at the wrong shit lmao |
| You didn't read the last sentence or? |
| yeah a big club of scammers and criminals lmao |
| Guys, 🥭 is just waiting until Wednesday to declare this whole war as April Fool’s on the world. |
| Bank of Japan: Yeah, um, what idiot would do those things... |
| Not enough people selling, hope that explains |
| My house? |
| Except this time he cant just say trade deal with china and make it go away. And fed cant cut rates or do qe either. Its really great how screwed up things are now. |
| Yeah it sucks but a knight of the seven kingdoms is pretty good |
| My mom found the bottle of grey goose 🥴 |
| 1000 points down in a week would be awesome |
| Polymarket odds for BoTg before march 31 up 2x this morning from 8%->24% increasing rapidly. The boys and the boats are probably Yolo there whole accounts and betting on themselves cuz its actually die or get rich RIP |
| If you weren’t retarded you’d know that’s -.69 from yesterday, and from Friday close it’s green lol |
| This argument is already dated. |
| Praying to mango man for my account to become green before good friday |
| Its a big club that's holding it and you ain't int it prolly |
| I wouldn't drink that if it were buy 1 get 2 free |
| Marines are dragging their feet. Lol, check out the top posts on the USMC subreddit. |
| I ain't buying until spy is at 500. |
| Degenmaxxing |
| It would be extremely funny if Iran suddenly regained Electricity and mysteriously also a bunch of nuclear warheads and ICBMs the moment an wsb regard full ported oil shorts and defense stocks. |
| https://maps.app.goo.gl/6Ldd7PVgLNdWk7LL6?g_st=ic |
| Why? |
| Destruction |
| Gonna buy 5400p for a week out tomorrow, am thinking it might just get ITM |
| how tf is the Scamcoin still at 66k. There’s still 66k left to zero |
| You think grok won’t tell you to invest in GOOG |
| Anal |
| I can't explain why these links are highly relevant to the market right now without tripping one of the admin/mod's censorship filters, but maybe you'll be able to piece it together.\n\nhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politico\n\nhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mathias_D%C3%B6pfner |
| Might as well sell you kidneys as well and stop eating, more money. Donate some plasma while you are at it. |
| Sydney sweeney is inbound. |
| #canadian clown |
| This is truly a remarkable fuckin chart. \n\n\nFree money. |
| They're staging on their front door... |
| My wife found out I capitulated on Friday and sold everything and left me for someone that has bigger balls and held over the weekend |
| Yes |
| !remind me 4 days |
| The USS Tripoli finally arrived after its 2.5 week travel time. Additional troops are sailing/flying in. Might not see anything tonight, but this was the soonest possible time to start expecting it. |
| That show is dead to me... |
| Every time they get close to a Japan style 180 we step in. |
| for this option expiration i wouldn't even think about buying until SPY 565, i don't think the bounce from there will be all that great tbh |
| He already did but looks like the other side wanted burritos instead |
| oh shiite |
| Do a Straddle, SPY wont trade sideways guaranteed. Easy money. 🥭 tweets positive news , you exercise one half. 🥭tweets negative, you exercise the other half |
| You're aware the war keeps escalating right |
| the good old days! |
| You can literally get financial freedom right now, just sell your house and live under a bridge |
| IXC AMLP OILK even XOM but there is the issue of their middle eastern assets (not sure what % of total revenue) |
| Before the date |
| $13.79 for a 12 pack This sale makes it $6.90 a 12 pack. |
| Why thank you good sir. lol I’ve just been gearing up to actually yolo, and I will be starting next week |
| Yes |
| That’s Tuesday👀 |
| With three dragons, the unsullied and the Dothraki, I don't see Tehran lasting against us |
| Holy cope |
| SPY green by March 32 |
| Why are your talking about Epstein? We should be talking about getting the Dow back to fifty thousand!!! |
| Bulls = FUCK YOU. |
| 1dte and 2dte, right atm. I have some Tuesday calls that I will be unloading tomorrow morning (extra day just so I have extra insurance) |
| You guys told me this weekend was basically D-Day with the marines being in the region, what happened? |
| how fucked are we tmrw |
| March 31 invasion odds up |
| source |
| Not to mention whenever this sub finally gets bearish is almost always the bottom sign. That's not to say it can't go lower, but in past market cycles ViX over 30 is the best time to be buying, so many stocks 50% or more off all time highs right now. |
| All the most annoying/unethical people moved to Dubai so I’m not that worried about them. Sucks for the locals tho. |
| Kind of funny hearing the pope criticize the war. |
| Greenland isn't a country bro |
| You and everyone else which is why you'll get btfo before the drill resumes |
| Cheaper than soda! |
| Big red in 2.2h , weekend oil up, coin down, new atacks . My vix shorts gonna be masacreted.... |
| Wow, the rest of us should consider doing that. You're a trailblazer. |
| Troops/ships/planes = real, physical stuff... And real stuff that needs OIL. \n\nDiplomatic talks = handshakes, looks/stares\n\nWhich one is more real? |
| How far out are you buying ? |
| Spy hasn’t even begun to drop |
| The whiff of the first pump Im all in SPX puts |
| end of week is quite generous of you |
| I wouldnt either tbh |
| I could never have predicted such a thing |
| imagine rn living in riyadh or dubai/abu dhabi |
| Just the usual weekend futures + \~10 minutes of morning retail buying + positive tweets leading up to market open trying to de-risk markets.\n\nWith no military action so far, I can already see the tweets flying pumping fake details about truce talk and meetings in Pakistan, fanning the flames of hope.\n\nAssuming MSFT peaks around $359 or so, maybe these max out $9.50 in intrinsic plus $2.50 in extrinsic before they both start bleeding back down and reality sets back in. Just a guess though.\n\nAlso agree that $7 to $8 is probably a "brace for none of the above" worst case, in which case it'll be down from there. |
| try Grok next |
| /BEER |
| I am officially ready to take the risk. I will be swinging SPY all week, and will be shorting all pumps. Thank you for your attention to this matter |
| The ayatollah is alive and well damn |
| THE BOTS ARE AFTER ME ONCE AGAIN🫴🍟 |
| Depends are you bear or bull |
| What store is that at |
| We got schültenbrau here in Europe at Aldi. Or as we like to call em 'Homeless cylinders'. |
| listening to Copilot on how to invest the last 6 months has proven to be very unsmart |
| Boobs on the ground soon |
| Two min? |
| No |
| Like alone time with her thoughts or is a bull something else??? |
| This isn’t remotely true. You can take a look at the Marine traffic and realize how fucking stupid you sound |
| What he really meant was 10 paws...bear paws, meaning bears are gonna make bank! |
| Was this all just the same company buying low and selling on the high? |
| #Ban Bet Lost\n\n/u/Organic-Lie4759 made a bet that IBRX would go to 11.0 within **1 week** when it was 8.564 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.\n\nTheir record is now 3 wins and 4 losses\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| That pause has very common points as my conversation with Ana de Armas, non-existent |
| Vibe coding meets healthcare. What could possibly go wrong? |
| Rally to 750 before drop to 540 then rally to 800 |
| Markets can remain irrational longer than you can remain erected |
| 20 minutes |
| But she doesn’t have a….oh….. |
| >There was a massive bombing campaign that ended their assault in the Gulf last May.\n\n\nWe entered a treaty with them after a ceasefire agreement with Gaza was brokered. Thats why they ended their assault. They didn't end it because we carpet bombed them.\n\n\nCarpet bombing countries has proven to be poor strategy in general. It rarely achieves objectives and there's always blowback.\n\n\nhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2025_United_States%E2%80%93Houthi_ceasefire |
| They usually try to bomb their way to peace. One of these days it will work they swear |
| Where’s the tomorrow thread at? |
| I would load the boat |
| The training data for AI-assisted drug discovery come from physical experiments, it takes a long time to build out these datasets. I don't understand what people expect AI to do in this case, if it doesn't have the training data then it would have to rely on existing comp. chem models, which are not very accurate. |
| Spy 500+/-15 is my target to get back in. |
| why 30? its 50% |
| KEEP EM COMIN' DONNIE 🥁 🎸 🚁 |
| Yes I just seen that. Is that the part of the original attack plan is are those different power plants? Lol |
| AI could price itself out and bring jobs back at this rate. |
| Before |
| I can’t believe SPY is at 700 next week |
| He said Iceland instead of Greenland.\n\nImagine if the tells Pete to bomb Iraq instead of Iran |
| Are there any bools left? |
| The question is - is it cheaper to ME producers to fix their infrastructure, or for Asian refineries to retool to use American light crude? |
| i just went and it was fun retard |
| Jesus Christ I'm glad beer isn't this cheap in Canada or I'd just be dead... |
| Wait, I can be a trader? |
| You know you are correct when WSB is bashing on you. While it is a store that sells to people in times of economic slowdown, it is still a retailer brick shop, not even online presence, so year, long term its cooked and will revert to 20 PE. Its value mainly remains in its shop assets , basically a Retail REIT if you know what i mean.\n\nPing me if it goes tits up and you lose your bet tho, wanna see if you are right or WSB is right |