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| That was before the TACO airhead |
| Found the ghey 🐻 |
| Over 50% of people voted for him? |
| So…. what the fuck happened today? I missed the reversal because meetings. Was there a 🌮? |
| the only thing finished is his fucking brain lmao what the fuck is he saying lmao |
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doublespeak |
| were you liquidated today? it must suck seeing markets pump green within 15 minutes |
| See ya in a week regard |
| Always |
| Why did you hide portfolio diversity? |
| He said he wish to give some tomahawk to Iran. |
| Because it’s Iran saying it |
| bears aren’t happy, SPY reversed 3% today |
| In someway I think the US can. Iran will probably shoot a few symbolic missiles at military bases to show they fired back. US does some symbolic retaliation, and it quickly fizzles out.\n\nThe new leadership is probably don't mind that the old leadership is dead, because now they are in power. So their focus will be on consolidating their power within Iran rather forcing the US to put boots on the ground by keeping at container ships. |
| We’re doing this to help China because we such good guys |
| Thanks Orang! I lost $15k last week so I’m back even |
| So far there's been 0 credible reporting of any sort of resistance against the regime, so at the moment nobody is willing to take advantage of the current chaos to overthrow the new Supreme Leader or the IRGC.\n\nWe also bombed that school killing 160+ children. \n\nThere's also the very real possibility they could hate the regime and the US/Israel equally. If that is the case many people may stay complacent because either scenario appears just as bad to them, so why risk your life right now for a risky revolution that might just be put down anyway?\n\nThere's so many reasons and possibilities this war drags on for awhile and idk how there are still people that can't see that. |
| Just scalped another fill up |
| I’ve been enjoying ASTS since Jan. Wheeling CSP’s for decent premiums and if I get assigned I don’t sweat it much and start selling CC’s near the money. Rinse and repeat weekly. |
| 🥭's word means nothing. What good are guarantees when they bombed Iran in the middle of the last two "negotiation" talks. Also X is not a source retard. |
| We nearly done doing a solid for Russia and China? |
| Yup found the regard |
| How are people using ai to do that. |
| “We didn’t start the war, but we are going to finish what we started”\n\n- Donald Trump essentially. |
| Absolutely |
| him “signaling the war could end soon” carries about as much weight as me signaling the bubble guts could end soon before I even drink my venti latte with whole milk |
| This small candle already going out |
| Stinky |
| lol good luck bruh |
| Hovering between 88 and 90. Which is crazy movement for after hours but fuck if we ball |
| SNDK just went from 480 overnight to 590 during day... |
| i'll believe it when I actually see it, source? |
| Rip oil, sanctions getting lifted to lower oil price? |
| Ukraine is an appropriate comparison for the points I'm making. \n\nIran has more drones than the US has tomahawks. |
| Party at the moon tower!! |
| What changed is that bers LOST |
| Because it'll never happen. This is just Iran playing the PR game to look like the reasonable side, and 🥭 is making it so easy for them to do that. |
| The subway guy 😳 |
| So are we still at war? |
| Not even. Israel doesn't operate Tomahawk cruise missiles so that kinda narrows down the possibilities. |
| he sold his calls bigly, he's shorting the market again now. he'll drop bombs untill he hits a 5 bagger, then say it's over again. |
| And then a weird digression into his own assassination attempt, what does that have to do with the question..total narcissist |
| 89 and climbing fast |
| War very complete. Mission accomplished. |
| What’s crazy is that Iran is actually an epicenter for science, education, and art that’s been fighting off a ridiculously oppressive force. \n\nThey won’t be pro-West, but we need them not to be anti-West. \n\nBlowing up parts of their country doesn’t seem helpful. |
| i know my calls are safe because bears are in this thread hanging on any/every word mango says.\n\nthis is the surest sign they lost. keep coping, its delicious. |
| Beautiful country. \n\nAlso they can live without anything for 10-20 years. Sanctions? Done that already. |
| wtf is this dude talking about |
| Not even kegstand is this stupid lmao |
| Venezuela ✅\n\nIran ✅\n\nBears are next, watch your anoos |
| 70% cash. 25% voo. 5% corn.\n\nFeels good going to bed worry free |
| > **WSJ**\n>\n> 🥭 said the Iran war will be over “very soon” but that the U.S. military campaign still has further to go. |
| oil bol blowing a 20% lead today and still trying to buy the dead cat bounce after hours lmao |
| \n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 1 | **First Seen In WSB** | just now\n**Total Comments** | 0 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 6 days | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| Have you not learned anything? |
| yep payroll was negative he is on track |
| *flirting with oil |
| A mango and Bibi guarantee is a very trustworthy guarantee indeed |
| So a whole lotta nothing. So are bears happy or not? Difficult to tell |
| LMAO, you better stay up to see it |
| Someone’s going to pay a moron tax on options tomorrow 😂 |
| West coast here, so the winter is over. Fruit trees are starting to bud, it's go time.\n\nGood luck this year |
| WTI futes up 5% |
| you must mean futball |
| Before market closes: war is very complete\n\nAfter market closes: we will not relent |
| Wrong we're gunning for 700 FINISH THE JOB |
| Taco, taco , taco ! |
| Need a little crazy sometimes |
| This just in, bers bet on a total collapse outcome which everyone is trying to avoid and gets mad when they lose. |
| yeah he's legitimately a fucking moron and his neurons are rotting so here we are |
| Still pissed about VIX being 7% down when SPY was -0.6% down when absolutely nothing had changed. |
| finish the bers mr president, finish the bers |
| this is because of the refinery shutdowns that CA media has been reporting on for nearly 6 months now. This was the week shit was set to go crazy and we really weren't factoring fro the conflict in the Middle East, So good luck dasher bro. We could see 9 dollars by July. |
| Didn’t look happy. Putin must’ve done some serious arm twisting! |
| Usually he just has a monster combover but holy crap I think that's a fresh new piece on top. |
| OK oil looks OKish |
| Yall pissed him off |
| 12.42% down here. but I keep DCA'ing for hopefully some good torque once things improve... |
| yeah its a limit down kinda night isnt it |
| Because "guaranteed not attacked again" is literally never going to happen? |
| Presser over, orange in chief shit himself. |
| He’s going to make a call and hit the bomb button in 10 minutes isn’t he |
| Thank you everybody I gotta go peepee |
| ‘It will be inappropriate’ after literally taking out the last ayatollah last week lol |
| They did not say finish the job. |
| And just like that, ber hopes and dreams squashed AGAIN |
| He’s gonna finish the job |
| What |
| Pay the shipping? lol |
| They should get the Big Arch burger. It's a wonderful product! |
| ber is fuk |
| The offer, reported by ISNA and IRIB, sets a specific bar for a ceasefire:\n• The "Condition Zero": Iran’s first and non-negotiable condition is a complete halt to U.S.-Israeli strikes. ⚡🛡️\n• The Neighborhood Pact: This follows a "stormy" weekend where President Masoud Pezeshkian apologized to neighboring Arab nations for "fire at will" strikes, promising that Iran would no longer target them as long as their territory isn't used as a launchpad for U.S. attacks. 🌍🤝\n• The "Dignity" Clause: Iranian officials have emphasized that any peace deal must preserve the country's "sovereign dignity," rejecting the "unconditional surrender" terms currently being drafted at Trump National Doral. |
| fuk if this a stable genious just imagine he was instable |
| “I’m demanding very bigly that you agree to unconditional surrender”\n\n“No”\n\n“Okay can we be friends then?” |
| Fucking finally |
| FINISH THE JOBS |
| idk bears are still delusional |
| Good shit Lil E! |
| GENERATIONAL short opportunity on WCEO 😂 |
| Because king retard joined international retards in israel in a campaign that carpet bombed iran. There's a possibility that the big orange retard leaves and iran says "fuck it" and tells their media outlets they won, or, there's also a chance that they recognize that the u.s couldn't actually keep the shit up and they keep bombing military bases and israel. I'd bet on the former, but there's no rule that says the war stops because a bloated orange retard says so. |
| He sounded nervous at the end tbh |
| The strategic win of losing the trust of all your Gulf allies that you spent the last 4-5 decades building up and only hardening the resolve of every Iranian making some insane future blowback all but inevitable |
| One of us! One of us! |
| So we're still at war and the strait is still closed... what exactly has changed? |
| yeah fuck 650, we're going to 700 for sure |
| Made $25 today... |
| Made $15k today |
| you made way more today than most bears will see in their lifetimes |
| [ Removed by Reddit ] |
| #It's RIDICULOUSLY difficult to find a new job these days where every job posting gets 300+ applicants because people can now use AI to spam every job posting LMAO🤌 |
| That light red jacket Asian lady is cute❤️ |
| Oh shit I misunderstood. He's talking about not shorting oil..I agree |
| Bolder than I am. Fuckers will die immediately if I try putting em in the ground now. There’s no way this warm weather holds for another month. |
| 650 |
| The most regarded thing I've ever seen on this subreddit is enough people believing Trump saying the war is ending that we end green for the day.\n\nChumps, all of you. |
| believe or not, call. |
| It’s not like we have to do put our asses on the line just because Israel says so. \n\nRight? |
| “They were going to strike first. I had information that they were going to strike us first”\n\nAka Israel said I’m a big strong man who should attack first. So I attacked |
| Mango incriminating himself on the tomahawk question lmaooooo |
| https://preview.redd.it/nonpkbt8i3og1.jpeg?width=749&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=244d18e4d986d81e47fce3cc36c69b4eddf71e2d |
| Bad news, they were all on one of those Iranian ships that we sunk. Too bad, no refunds. |
| Oil back on the menu |
| yeah happy meal time |
| i no longer think we are headed to 650. and now believe we are going to 690 |
| Even higher in California as it was already set to hit 8 dollars before the Iran conflict. |
| deflection master class |
| I dunno it makes no sense. Gold didn’t pump like oil did but it did pump at the end of the day when they said war is over which is when it should have dumped so? |
| For a war to be over both sides have to stop fighting, and Iran could still credibly threaten every ship passing through the strait. |
| what are you talking about it's almost below 85 and it keeps dropping |
| WDYM? The operation was over a week ago. I dont know what conflict you are speaking of. - REGARDS |
| Please stop loading puts regards and let the market correct itself in peace for once. |
| WTF, this guy is literally insane. He gets asked whether the new Supreme Leader has a target on his back, and his response is that he doesn't want to say, but someone tried to assassinate him before so...what? |
| Fr he was concise give him an award |
| made $13 today.. |
| I’m not a bear |
| I CAN FEEL A CPI OF 5% TACO KNOWS it so they are gaslighting markets and the uneducated south |
| I panicked and sold becasue of these bears, fucking cunts |
| Burger_Gouger 2026: A Burger in Every Belly and Fries in Every Bag. \n\nThat will be $100k. |
| https://x.com/DeItaone/status/2031127727076520333 \n\n*IRAN SAYS WAR CAN END IF GUARANTEED NOT ATTACKED AGAIN:STATE TV \n\nwhy is that getting ignored |
| Imagine finding out your dad/husband died so that mango could manipulate the market for a week and replace Khamenei with Khamenei Jr |
| Bouncing back already. As always.. |
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| i mean if twin towers did not fal on 9/11 in 2001 they would definetly got hit in 2026 |
| Hell yeah brother. |
| MONGO DON'T GIVE A FUKK ABOUT THE STRAITS\n\nLOL |
| yeah bear lol |
| He Israelly serious |
| Lmao what! |
| Futes doing their thing: baiting the bers |
| They’re all corrupt regards so 🤞🏽 and hope for green |
| Huh no |
| I heard Cuba just surrender. |
| “Many other nations have tomahawks” yet only two were bombing Iran. You fucking idiot. |
| Apparently the war is helping Chyna?? |
| Mango is just doing Gyna a favor, its his honor to help the out |
| They can, but that doesn't mean iran will reopen the straight of hormuz |
| The hard way is the easy way |
| I wanna keep it open, I wanna keep it good.. we're really helping China. Lmfao |
| Leave It to mango to make the war go on even longer |
| 😂😂 |
| 650 puts 2 weeks out seem crazy |
| Israel can't turn around |
| The CEO of USO is not agreeing it's over. |
| *They looked at taking over the middle east. But we got there first!* \n\nso we're **taking over the middle east** fellas? |
| Point me to a prototype or research that demonstrates a viable electric motor and power source to operate an aircraft or cargo ship. China is big in renewable, they don’t have that either. The tech is not ready yet and the retard is most definitely you in this multiverse lol. Deluding yourself to think only the U.S. or the west is allowed to push the frontier in technology and think the oil lobbyists can somehow influence whether Asian countries have the capital to innovate lmao. You cracked me up with this comment for sure buddy. Thanks |
| So the markets going to get to at least today's lows tomorrow right |
| Dude woke up, saw futes blood red and decided to give up on asking for unconditional surrender |
| CALLS |
| TACO - T Always Cheats Others |
| Literally #6 though. They are gaming the system |
| In a bunker |
| What’s next comrade? |
| Signals are being intermittently scrambled in the strait so relying on autopilot is questionable, especially since inbound traffic is on the Iranian side. |
| Oh would you look at that, oil is going back up, who could have possibly seen that coming?!?!!!?!? |
| Iran already declared no backsies |
| Acura ZDX. Physical buttons. \n\nVW ID.4. \n\nAlmost got the latter but the former was a better deal. Both were not ONLY screen. |
| This just means calls on Australia |
| Tomorrow we moon because fuck it 🫡 |
| You minded me to start basil lol \n\n\nThanks bro \n\nCollards are already in the ground |
| I mean come on : 120 dollars on brent crude at the beginning… \nWhat a fucking day… \n\n |
| You all thought he is talking about Iran, but he's actually talking about the war on ber |
| I wonder how many contracts of /CL Barron was trading |
| & just like that my USO puts are cooked |
| LOL matter of weeks LMAOOOO |
| i guess intraday movement really is just noise huh |
| What’s next oh lord? |
| https://preview.redd.it/ybdpy9mth3og1.jpeg?width=321&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=72d7f2aef7ae2765114f74771701bb74eaf11a7b |
| Guys what happend with the trump phone? |
| oil is going down to 50, iranians are begging for a ceasefire, U.S already won, \n\nships are already moving on to cuba, mojtaboahh hamoini is being replaced with a new western ruler that we all like, peace won\n\ndow is crossing 50, nvda calls are printing, winning, winning, winning |
| I bought at close today thinking heavy liquidation about to go down but who knows |
| **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/Finality8** bet **SPY** goes from **675.76** to **655.0** before **11-Mar-2026 06:23 PM EDT**\n\nTheir record is 0 wins and 1 losses.\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| But sir, We are not at war |
| Dildo only! |
| !banbet SPY 655 2d |
| As expected. Whole thing is a disaster |
| Give me 1000 barrels. |
| This press conference is literally pointless |
| Iran is still doing Ramadan\n\nImagine what they'll do when they are back on full ration, and can sin more freely |
| Oil back to 90 |
| alexa schedule an 🚑 call for u/Kabrosif tomorrow morning |
| Holy shit that reporter is a goat for asking about the kid killing |
| I think you mean the Strait of America 🇺🇸 /s |
| 🥭 sending spy down and oil back up 🤦♂️ \n\nStfu old man |
| Bro’s toupee looks extra orange today |
| Bought some then sold at 414 with less than a minute.. fuck holding overnight. |
| Might be converting the 403/457 to all boring shit and convert back to index 6-7 months from now |
| Trump show the best show on the planet |
| 🥭 pumped the market by claiming that the war was almost over (even though he's now walking it back at a press conference) |
| How any American still supports this corrupt regard is beyond me |
| They announced reopening diplomatic relations with USA but still no change on tourist visa process. At the moment you have to fly to Mexico and apply for a visa in person it’s not an automatic visa on arrival |
| no shit taco |
| I’m so sick of trading in this market dictated by these clowns |
| Stock prices are wild and unpredictable. |
| Should have bought them at close |
| and spy already lost half its gains today in 20min aftermarket |
| _... Right Gang?_ |
| I dont know much about it so i’ll lie about it |
| There's still time to buy oil futes or USO before the next refinery or whatever gets hit in this war that is absolutely not over no matter what emergency market-calming BS call was made to CBS news in the middle of the day |
| dildo or ass plug..??? |
| You may want to remember who owns nearly 30% of OpenAI. |
| Oil is set to go over 100 again. |
| A second "the war is almost over" has hit sir, what do we do? |
| Yeah, the meat’s better with 5 guys. Double it and it gets too filling. |
| "We have already won. But we have not won enough." is what I think about my port |
| Still better than any other social media platforms. Have you tried Threads? my god that place is a true dumpster |
| 🥭 said the war will end soon. Does that actually mean anything? No. But the market traded on it |
| 1. Replace Khamenei with Khamenei\n2. Waste years worth of interceptors in a week\n3. Sacrifice 7 service members\n4. Declare victory while your enemy is still firing missiles at you\n5. ???\n6. Profit\n |
| Stop buying FDs and pitch that to Netflix. Easyyy money |
| regard here, why couldn't the US legitimately just turn around and leave tomorrow if they felt like it |
| China has the capacity to refine 2.5million barrels per day. They also have \~3 months worth of strategic reserves. I don't know how much of those reserves is full, or if its refined.\n\nBut I don't think the pain of this voltaility will be felt until strategic reserves start to dwindle. The next week or two might be a lot of waiting to see what happens. |
| My favorite part of Trump speeches are the jokes coming from here. |
| So we’re loading up on Puts tomorrow right gang? |
| Hey guys why are futures red you promised me green only 😡 |
| Remember when bers were acting like circuit breakers in SK meant anything 🤣 |
| Lmaoo I got downvoted for saying that this dip in oil would be temporary |
| Even as a bull I think is coming right back down tomorrow 🤣 |
| this is painful |
| Ive thought about selling puts but premium is not that great today |
| 6 weeks before last frost if you start em indoors bro. Tomorrow is probably around the right time. Start your brassicas and herbs around the same time. I’d go heavy on the basil this year- the ladybug swarm is rough already. |
| Damn did I just hear him say they are going to load cluster munitions with Microns new HBM4 cards? Big if true. |
| > offers Iran some kind of security assurances\n\nThey would have to be the stupidest motherfuckers ever to believe anything the US has to offer. \n\nOr you mean like in Breaking Bad "I can assure you, i can kill you from way over here if that makes you feel better" |
| Lmao |
| AOR is so dead |
| 🌮 won't speak once that is good to market |
| https://preview.redd.it/td0u7z2mh3og1.jpeg?width=542&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9e1927f15a14d4de1ac12fe28b78a63acc232d4b |
| Don’t you get it? keggy and bibi are running this war and will until mango says “ok boys you have to stop completely” which he won’t do, because a fake taco can pump the markets just as well |
| GPT is spitting fire |
| Maybe he can run a double shift emperor of Cuba and aylatola |
| Because "Ooopps" 😎 |
| I said it because I just don't know enough...this mother fucker lmao |
| Nah Mango said last week that Rubio is going to be running Cuba. |
| bers really saw -2% premarket and said "it can't reverse for the 23rd time in a row come on" |
| Captains simply should set the ships on autopilot crewless through the strait. Either it makes it through and you continue your journey or you watch it create the largest ecological disaster to hit the middle east this year so far. |
| Wow. |
| This orange asshole is so fucking stupid. This presser is so much worse than covid days. The way he answered the tomahawk question and before that.. the best the best best, are you kidding me? |
| They gotta stop showing him fake internal polling that says he's got like 150% approval rating. |
| I hopelessly conflicted. I doubled my money at the last moment because of the Orange turd but I still hate him. |
| Under the SEA🎶🎶 |
| Removing mail in voting is insane.\n\nHe’s trying to rig it, go figure. |
| The Iranian leadership is running circles around this moron |
| Yeah that’s not over \n |
| Are you kidding me?\n\nNo, they obviously don’t have cameras in your house.\n\nBut if you ever need to make a claim they will find a reason to deny it. Being out of code is one of those reasons.\n\nAnd doing your own DIY 240v electrical work on your breaker is a thing that can absolutely lead to the need to make an insurance claim. |
| What a clown |
| Was too busy at work to look. Why tf am I up? Futures were that fake and gay??? Thought we were going to limit down today. |
| She did. |
| Black Tuesday |
| I SAID IT BECAUSE I JUST DON'T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT IT.\n\nLOL |
| Rubio is now the Emperor of Cuba |
| They also say that Fort Knox is full of gold bars………. |
| Big beautiful oil |
| https://preview.redd.it/fgliqnsgh3og1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8263e920ccfcbb7bd431715cdf7f70e4b2a1bc96 |
| Why are you saying that? I don’t know enough about it lmao |
| You already have a bet going - TSLA to 431.5313313 before 05-Mar-2026 10:33 PM -05 |
| **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/caliwillbemine** bet **SPY** goes from **675.99** to **668.0** before **10-Mar-2026 06:21 PM EDT**\n\nTheir record is 1 wins and 8 losses.\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| !banbet nvda -2.1% 3d |
| !banbet SPY 668 1D |
| Then zoom out a bit |
| lol Russia was selling tomahaks to Iran |
| Took my chances. Let’s see where it goes |
| How dare he talk to dear leader that way |
| Hope I don't regret closing my put credit spreads today. |
| Sucks for them |
| These dip buyers are relentless |
| LOL, that reporter has massive balls to tell 🥭 to his face that Iran doesn't have Tomahawk missiles like he claimed |
| But you're also pretty retarded. |
| If we “theoretically” take cuba, how does the land get sold? Like can i just “theoretically” get beachfront property on the cheap cheap? |
| I wonder if there are conjoined twins traders and one is a ber, the other bull? |
| Explorer for me actually |
| Just got to 230% today on HGRAF. Wish I put in more. \n\nThanks some random dude on Reddit who convinced me to get in around $1. |
| The treasury is going to be the biggest bag holder in history when however much money they spent shorting the oil futures market is all negative tomorrow |
| He’s ranting about the 2024 election now? \n\nHoly Shit man let it go you psychopath |
| Dw, Mango said ‘No Hormuz’ right before submission |
| You know what? How do I get my resume in front of this retard?\n |
| Okay the chin on that young reports is very fine |
| My 2 cents is, war ain’t over just because Trump says so |
| wait what...when did we sell tomahawks to Iran? |
| Throwing this into an etf and making a couple % would've made you w thousand with nowhere close this amount of risk\n |
| It's not generally true. His statement isn't that meaningful... |
| Is the war over or not? Bro is just talking |
| LMAO kinda looks like my portfolio although my average is a lot lower and I got some other stonks |
| I don't trust overnight futures anymore. Actually I don't trust numbers anymore in general |
| made so beautiful |
| Every space company is severely overvalued. Happy now? |
| OK all my trips to NYC now cancelled for the next 5 years |
| He wont survive a day |
| I know you can unilaterally declare war but can you just unilaterally declare victory while the other country is literally still actively able and willing to attack you? I’ve never ready this chapter in art of war.\n\n“Victory is achieved when you say it is” |
| Hang the god damn banner |
| You're fired! he's fired, they're all fired.\n\nWhen I heard mutilization I thought it was mulletification. Cause you know, the 80's |
| Yeah, I bought APLD which also did well. Beaten down data center stock. |
| Lol |
| Were you born this morning? |
| I will plant the tomato seeds tomorrow \n\n\nmhmmm |
| Sep25 Rev of $757. No k, no m. Did they have a bake sale or something, dafuq is this. |
| Everyone piled onto calls? Fuck it, let it drop. |
| So basically nothing changed |
| Somewhere waist level usually. |
| Did he use mutilization again? |
| so there is no plan for Iran, just vibes |
| Ah yes, this weird petro-lobby-pushed narrative of "but what about the things where you need a huge amount of energy to do stuff." Yeah, well, electric motors are like 100× more powerful and lose far less energy to heat compared to combustion ~~engines~~ heaters, which lose about 70% of their energy as heat.\n\nThanks to people like you and the petro-retards in power who have sabotaged development for decades, we are now far behind in developing adequate solutions like solid-state technologies. Development and funding are thankfully now growing exponentially since last year, as smart money knows that fossil fuels are already dead. That is also why they needed Trump as president. It is their last-ditch effort at survival right now.\n\nStill, you are right. _At the moment_ there are _certain things_ that would be nice to keep operating on fossil fuels until the full transition is in place. But there is nothing that cannot ultimately be powered by electricity. And needing something like 10 million barrels of oil a year for the whole country instead of 10 million barrels a day is not a negligible difference. |
| 👏👏👏 |
| Yeah true. Its a paradox, if there are enough people that keep buying then it is bullish... however oil proces will catch up evenrually |
| He was so proud of that |
| he is a pussy |
| Puts on the son of the shah |
| Good for capitalism! |
| He's claiming that no other country has mail-in voting like us. Canada has mail-in voting as an option for all voters on request... |
| Hmm. He changed his words again? |
| I Don’t believe 🥭 saying war with Iran is almost over! |
| Wen crash? |
| And I bought at Bandar Abbas fml |
| Bro with the Freudian slip wanting himself to be eternal ruler lol |
| each ber r fuk adds one full year to my expected lifespan |
| Midterms canceled |
| #taco: disappointed Jared wasnt elected as Supremem Leader of Iran |
| He's really thought through this regime change. All worked out. |
| it is now |
| I fucked up my oil play. I have no chance at this game. |
| Red in morning.. |
| Everyone keeps talking about oil... \n\nThe real key is water. \n\nA few desalination plants blown up by stray drones and suddenly (n)million refugees pour into Europe while another (n)million die trying. \n\nWe could be on the cusp of biggest humanitarian crisis since Mao and Stalin were managing agricultural food production in their respective countries. |
| I'm thinking a pigeon might do a better job than 🥭 |
| The war is. |
| Bro what the fuck is he yapping on about? |
| Machette for Cuban Prez |
| Marco Rubio new aylatola |
| Don't understand... |
| The brand new apron on the Burger King guy is hilarious. |
| Bagholder spotted.\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.* |
| Cha cha cha chump |
| Jfc here we go again |
| Lol ok, of course you bring up Ukraine. As if there are any similarities beyond drones. The US is not Russia and Iran is not Ukraine. It's not even remotely close. and yes, you can launch your drone from anywhere but again, what are they going to do about the 3 tomahawks landing on their head every time they try? You seem to think every Iranian soldier has a death wish or their supply of drones is endless. Most of the parts come from China, through the straits, which is now closed. So no more new parts means no more new drones. Good luck keeping the strait closed longer than 2 weeks |
| midterns dont matter |
| Have you mostly watched Wes Anderson, Quintin Tarantino, Christopher Nolan movies? Ghibli movies? |
| It was an easy trade even for us tbh |
| Internal = eternal |
| I literally purchased a bunch today and was happy with myself that this was a decent dip.. |
| There's really no way MSFT survives the AI apocalypse, they truly fucked up and missed the boat. Co-Pilot is dead dead dead. Windows on life support. Office and Cloud are dying. You will love exiting any position above $400 in just few short months.\n\nMarch 9, 2026 if anyone wants to mark it. |
| too busy for me, but still nice |
| Small caps are telling the real story here |
| go ahead and fuck with the bears but we are getting all the gay sex as the bulls pound us |
| Believe or not, calls on the Hormuz Straight being open!Im really getting tired of so much winning, jeez! |
| dow 30 futures were -1,000 points early this morning. |
| This always works😂 |
| I mean, the country that started the war by shooting missiles could end the war by not shooting missiles. |
| freudian slip right there |
| Wait guys is it possible that 🥭 maybe doesn’t know what he’s doing |
| Lmao, but orange can fuck us anytime he wants |
| What exactly do you think changed with this press conference?\n- war not over, going to continue\n- hormuz still closed (“we will hit them very hard if they attack ships in the strait” Durrrr are you not already hitting them hard lol)\n\nNothing has changed. |
| I want more rhymes from Pete |
| They started calling it the 500 when it broke 500 so prob not lower than 500 |
| Mutilization is one of the best words |
| I can’t remember when was the last time tech stocks green in the after and pre market… |
| Up 10k on oil longs but should be 100k I'm gonna rope |
| $65 tomorrow |
| MSFT should stop access to fly simulators to all now |
| didn't he mail in voted the last 4 elections?\n\nGeez, I thought this was going to be just about the war, but as usual, off the rails it goes. Calls it is. |
| CHECKED THE STRAITS....\n\nYUP STILL CLOSED.\n\nOIL $300 |
| They got this G7 meeting tomorrow to pump this even more .. not yet time for puts |
| hate to admit it, but I'm lost |
| Yeah I think this is him admitting there will be boots on the ground…\n\nThis is going to be even more bloody. |
| finally a war I can support |
| He also got regards as citizens thank god im an europoor. |
| Sex with a girl for the first time? = lame\n\nMarrying the love of your live? = lame\n\nBirth of your own son? = lame\n\nMaking fun of bears in this thread? = priceless. |
| He's getting oranger. |
| Welcome to the casino. First time? |
| Man if I was his advisor, I'd be teaching him so many nonse words. \n\nHe'd be up in a presser and drop a nugget like "yes, yes, the war is going very well, very well, we've hit the Israeli Flomulates. They're at the bottom of the ocean now. The excurdition is going well." |
| Maybe it's not anymore. I put too much trust in the US population and media |
| I'm holding my bags of $111 oil like a genius or chump. ?????!?\n\nmofo genital mutilizating my investment account |
| I am cash gang now, would like to thank that crazy pump for sparing my life |
| All wars are great |
| KURA long |
| 2024 election was rigged? lolll wtf |
| i wouldn't but i'm also not a head of state\n\ngeopolitics is cold like that |
| I come here for the summary so I don't have to listen to it myself.\n\nThis is Poli Sci advice. |
| lol all the Florida flying school floaded now with Mahmuts |
| People who love 🥭 are either stupid or evil. There is no in-between |
| His wife and child were killed. He's not their guy this time. |
| This guy is 100% going to do everything ~~in his power~~ to avoid the midterms |
| He is probably among us, making fun of the clown together. |
| today was another green day on my books |
| \n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 2 | **First Seen In WSB** | 10 years ago\n**Total Comments** | 4 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 10 years | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| It's clearer to me now more than ever that this isn't a war on Iran, it is a war on bears |
| Where do I aplly to be an MM |
| You aren’t trying to load a full DB into context are you? If you are you need a data dictionary to provide the model. If your codebase is a monolith and you have more code then can fit in a single context window, you got way bigger problems. If neither of those two are true, you can manage context through skills files that loads what you need when you need it. I don’t mean to be a jerk, but it’s literally a fundamental lack of knowledge on how to utilize the tool. |
| 3 days to Tehran guys |
| The elections are dishonest and corrupt! (except when he wins) |
| What made you thinking the opposite ? Oil reserve talks arr Friday |
| ok oil going down |
| You could read it as SpaceX trying to bully ASTS if you don’t know anything about ASTS. \n\nVerizon and AT&T are both backing ASTS and are backing most of their FCC filings. SpaceX doesn’t have the muscle to bully ASTS, Verizon, and AT&T |
| With all the partnerships ASTS has been cementing with mobile network operators worldwide it seems SpaceX is in for some serious competition in direct-to-device (MNO's seem to agree ASTS tech is better and the partnership is more lucrative than a partnership with SpaceX). \n\nBiggest challenge for ASTS is still getting their full constellation of satellites up, but once they succeed I see the share price potentially going 10x to 20x from here. |
| His head is eight different colors |
| I think he died in 2020 and was replaced by a clone or wait… no… he’s just regarded |
| #This is the reddest I've EVER seen futures LMAO🤌 |
| Bro’s losing what little is left in his mental tank. |
| So the guy who won 2 out of the last 3 elections is saying they’re rigged.. |
| Must. Not. FOMO Sandisk |
| As someone commented earlier in this thread: "I get dementia listening to this." |
| Sounded like he was open to the idea idk |
| damn Bush JR now looks smart |
| all markets are based on exit liquidity |
| Ooooo we going back down \n\nToday was exit liquidity |
| Tomorrow would be a great day for a circuit breaker |
| The guy in charge lost his father his mom and his wife to the same bomb. \n\n\nYeah I bet he wants a ceasefire |
| Smart one here ☝️ |
| You must not know that he has the best words |
| Somewhere deep and strange I guess. |
| He's really mutulizing the word mutilation |
| It's the Strait of America now. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER |
| They weren't ever able to achieve complete air superiority. B52s have been dropping JDAMs from outside Iran. If they do manage to take out Iran's air defenses entirely then, yes, Hegseth admitted his goal was to kill all the Iranians. |
| This guy is 100% going to do everything in his power to avoid the midterms |
| Exit liquidity achieved \n\nLoad up on SHLD peeps |
| He didnt start it and he wont be able to end it.. |
| Trump murdered his father, mother, wife, and son. Would you dial things back after that? |
| Same |
| Nobody |
| so Cuba not happing this weekend? |
| Gas will go to 10 dollars per gallon, anything that is transport would be much, much more expensive and food will be the most expensive items because of petroleum based fertilizers plus transportation. |
| I will be messaging you in 7 days on [**2026-03-16 22:16:01 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2026-03-16%2022:16:01%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/1rparbg/cnbc_oil_prices_decline_after_nearly_hitting_120/o9kg1ou/?context=3)\n\n[**CLICK THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fwallstreetbets%2Fcomments%2F1rparbg%2Fcnbc_oil_prices_decline_after_nearly_hitting_120%2Fo9kg1ou%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202026-03-16%2022%3A16%3A01%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.\n\n^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%201rparbg)\n\n*****\n\n|[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)|\n|-|-|-|-| |
| What is this? \n\nHe is such a psychopath. He’s said nothing worth a shit. |
| "Mutilization"\n\nThe Bush-ification is complete |
| trans jeeyender.. lol |
| “Mutilization of our children - we don’t want that” |
| Objectively he operates the same time and time again. The reason people on here can’t make any money is because their TDS gets in the way of just trading. |
| I don't have access to US futures, doubling down on 3x leveraged oil |
| Bake sale |
| What a dumb mf just stfu I'm getting cancer |
| I don’t think he’s planning to sing kumbaya with bibi and trump after they just killed his whole family |
| Years |
| I am against mutilization. |
| MONGO "AND WE'RE GOING FURTHER"\n\nOIL $300 |
| Do not under any circumcisions follow any dating advice you read on the internet. Be you, don’t force or pretend. What is meant to be will |
| Futes : gld slv down, oil gas up... So today was just more exit liquidity 🤷 |
| Excuse me, Super Fun Boom Boom Adventure |
| Bro this dude's brain is fucking mush |
| You mean he's a fucking idiot? |
| No trans…gender…..mutilization..of our children. No mutilization |
| i always knew that old fuck was a blabbermouth |
| Do conservatives actually not know how elections work or is it all just ratfucking |
| Where did this thought come from |
| All anyone wants to know is what else we'll be doing other than bombing the shit out of them. |
| Right after goonrasic |
| 🥭: “The war will be over soon”\n\nReporter: “when is soon? This week or…?”\n\n🥭: “🎶No. Maybe. I don’t know. Can you repeat the question? You’re not the boss of me now! 🎶” |
| We goin down |
| How many times are we hitting them hard again? I lost count |
| genital mutilization |
| "Mutilization" isn't a word, regard |
| Do it pussy |
| RemindMe! 1 week |
| Freak the fuck out and sell 🥭 not declaring victory or 🥭 resorts and casino Tehran |
| **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/Goodoldhold** bet **NIO** goes from **5.0** to **5.3** before **16-Mar-2026 06:15 PM EDT**\n\nTheir record is 27 wins and 20 losses.\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| !banbet NIO 5.3 7d |
| Trump is an incredible market manipulator. |
| Excursion |
| Taking over the Hormuz must be a walk in the park. |
| Mount Everest |
| Macron also on its way with the French carrier and a massive fleet to secure Hormuz. Looks like it's reopening one way or another |
| Fuck he is tough to listen to. It's just full retard. You can't ever go full retard |
| If you had bought, you make 6% |
| Ballot scams now? Just answer the question ffs |
| Making Ouroboros proud! |
| There is a song called future markets by Johnny Greenwood (GOAT) from the movie “There will be blood”. I listen to that on repeat when trading futures. |
| Apr 17 |
| > Israel is conducting "broad wave" of strikes in Tehran for the second time today\n\n> Iran says countries expelling Israeli and US envoys can freely transit Strait of Hormuz\n\nDid 🥭 forget to tell Iran and Isreal the war is over? |
| I only say thank you for contributions that clear the "not trivially obvious" bar. |
| If you didn't see this coming I think you should delete your WSB account. |
| plugging his 'let me scare people out of voting' act |
| interesting how ayatollah mojito has not made a single public statement since being chosen\n\nmakes me think he'll dial things back |
| Who finishes first, mango or GRRM |
| Plan for taking control of strait of Hormuz: forcing google maps to name it gay of Hormuz so that Iran has to give it up lest be accused of being Haramis |
| Datejust |
| That’s how you know it’s all cooked. People clinging to maybes for yolos. |
| War is over but excursion is forever |
| 🥭 giving the algos some exercise |
| https://www.youtube.com/live/ViW6wZw8Dn8?si=-TOz8RarHaSbkWm2\n\nAm I watching the wrong thing?? Now I'm confused |
| It's not. It's all hot air |
| how is it surprising |
| We’ll have to re-activate the Iowa class battleships for that |
| 650 Spy. I think we got swindled out of enjoying it one last time before we pump to 700+ |
| Futures plummeting , open 660 tomorrow |
| We get it you lost on puts |
| The stock market and boomers seem to be the only ones retarded enough to buy it |
| Lindsey Graham |
| speaking to his uneducated retards lmao |
| Wtf is even going on |
| "I knew the oil prices would go up" (so I asked my friends to buy low and then told them to sell high on the fake headlines that I will create) |
| Donnie wat u saying oil going back up? |
| Orange man didnt even answer to the question about oil reserve |
| How the fuck is it possible that some words of some orange man can completely flip markets? How is it any different compared to gambling? |
| Straight into her Whoremouz lmao |
| Omega speed master |
| You'd have to be a retard to believe anything this guy says |
| I give it to the end of the week before the oil and gas starts flowing again. |
| Trump said war is over + insiders selling shares making the the stock swing down so hard \n(I still think it will recover and hit 120+ in the next few days)\n\nThe insiders selling shares is part of a "*Share Repurchase Programs"*\n\nThe Company repurchased 12.5 million shares for $1.0 billion during the first nine months of 2025, which includes the repurchase of 4.3 million shares for $364 million during the third quarter of 2025 |
| Lol, pure market manipulation press conference 🤣 |
| I would totally bend over and take Caitlin Clark with a strapon. 🥳 |
| Last part of double attack is triple attack ground invasion |
| Gas at the pump and groceries went up though! Great |
| Excuse me, Very Positive Excursion |
| Whew. I was afraid I was gonna miss on an overnight +3% pump. Biggest nothing burger press conference ever |
| Bro said its just beginning and very complete |
| the Strait of Deez Nuts |
| ?? i don't think so wdym |
| Asia is going to buy ES futures like crazy and pump this shit |
| He and his administration are straight up talking in circles, lying shamelessly, and trying to gaslight the media and public. Surprisingly with a lot of success |
| I'm losing more money in the market that I earn at work, can't wait to lose the rest! |
| I feel like they're going to hit us with super 9/11 if we try to pull out. Or I don't know, maybe everything will be okay |
| FINE |
| I don't get bers, what do you want? more war or what? |
| So we sank an unarmed ship when we could’ve captured it because sinking it would be “more fun”? \n\nThat’s… a war crime |
| Positions? |
| I didnt look at all. work had me busy today. |
| “You have to surrender unconditionally and let us pick your supreme leader”\n\n“Nah”\n\n“Hmm okay, so we’re cool then? 😗” |
| In other words we're nowhere near a ceasefire with 🇮🇷 |
| Shrek dick |
| Needs more Dater centers |
| Going back up now |
| With a clenched asshole and creed blastin |
| State of Quintana Roo currently at level 2, which is not too bad....see https://travel.state.gov/en/international-travel/travel-advisories/destination.html |
| record breaking spike in oil.. less than he expected, my lawd |
| You’ve heard of Schrödinger's cat but have you heard of 🥭’s Iran war? 🤣 |
| 🎵 War is very complete\n\nIf you want it. \n\nWar is very complete.🎵 |
| Ooh curvaceous, which era of the dinosaurs was that |
| Omega Constellation Globemaster or Rolex Datejust |
| lol trump should remove the trump sign from his NYC skyscraper |
| Younger and more hard line version of him btw |
| you sound way more sensible than i expected for a goofy china simp |
| evolution had a hiccup with that one |
| Don't buy SanDisk. |
| and spill my cocaine?? |
| HAHAHAHAHAHAA |
| Up or down? |
| You Will get a raise soon, soon. A big one. |
| The mic holder can be my ms dell |
| Nana curses you from her grave |
| Bro pretty much said the epilogue is complete. Main book, chapter 1 is beginning |
| Who the fuck taught this regard the word "excursion?" |
| But when will then be now? Soon. |
| Did we liberate the Iranian people or not? This shitbags kid sounds like more of the same? |
| You can launch a drone from anywhere at any time. \n\nYou should catch up on how the Ukraine war has changed warfare. |
| Artificial oil price increases 🤔 |
| Almost panic selling everyday bruh |
| Thank you baby jesus....I bought some UVIX before close. |
| not even he can believe the stupid shit that comes out of his mouth lmaooo |
| That reporter is a ber operative lmao |
| They’re open now, just missed a nice little dip. |
| We have a framework of an end |
| they have tomacamels LOL |
| "The rest is to determination of my attitude" \n\nlol |
| Let’s send a WSB rep to the White House press briefings \n\n‘Thank you Mr. President, calls or puts?’ |
| If enough people believe it and keep buying, what else matters? |
| Guy is like your neighbour who is perpetually 7 drinks deep, dumb as sin, but somehow has money. |
| It stills should dump in the immediate reaction instead of... pump? For some reason? |
| LMAO |
| So crude oil went from $91 to $119 to $81 per barrel in under 12 hours. And nothing has fundamentally changed. |
| Oh, we see her, just at night tho |
| So this is less of a taco and more of a tortilla with shit on it |
| Exit liquidity confirmed |
| “We lost a lot of good men out there”\n\nYou served in Iran, grandpa?\n\n“No, but I tried to trade options during it” |
| And the only one suffering of shortage is Asia, the rest don't give a shit, because the price is down and thats what counts |
| I have flat feet |
| #Futes DRILLIN just as I predicted LMAO🤌 |
| I heard they were making fun of mu ha mid man there too ✡️ |
| someone tell him to stop talking |
| How much did we spend to replace Khamenei with Khamenei? |
| IRAN has tomahawks! |
| Now and also every week from now until you retire. |
| smells like iranian meltdown in here |
| ☠️ |
| Drill Team 6's gonna be working overtime! |
| 😂😂 |
| Watch me buy the index tomorrow and it tank right after. My track record is undefeated. |
| They have nothing left. Mission accomplished. Shrek dildos tomorrow. |
| whoa who gave you the next month's battle plans |
| Im a bull, but these puts are gonna print. And I wont be saying thank you. 🍆 |
| Lmao |
| If Ayatollah Jr. doesn't get assassinated (I don't think he will be), look for him to capitulate so he can consolidate power internally. Trump and Netanyahu may say otherwise, but he's THEIR guy. Don't make bets on (oil or stocks) an extended conflict. |
| You really think he will miss an opportunity to call it Strait of Trump? Lol |
| In a few words : full war with Iran just started |
| Lmao |
| Yeeeep |
| IT'S THE BEGINNING OF THE END |
| Oh it’s the ending of the beginning of the beginning of the end |
| Ban this guy. He knows too much. |
| Open the strait of your mom |
| We’re gonna go further |
| Yes 🍑 |
| Ya go to a bar and talk to somebody in person lol |
| The stock market has to be the fakest shit ever. Oh, just simply take it over? Why didn't anyone else think of that! |
| I think you're watching the wrong thing |
| Lmao, I'm glad I bought puts at close |
| Someone convince me not to buy in Sandisk. |
| So we’ll be invading Iran? Because that’s what it’s going to cost, a full scale invasion. |
| Be hotter |
| Brah, I think okc was the best app Ive tried, in terms of meeting actual people and getting matches. And, frankly, knowing when youve run through the app pool.\n\nIve met Head nurses for high end hospices who have 2 days a month free and Ive met triathletes, and Ive met overworked pschologists. |
| Lmao! Got called out and responded with some bs |
| Are we fracking |
| It’s both hahahaha |
| They are definitely curvaceous |
| Iran would never have the balls to target Intel’s most advanced manufacturing faciity at Intel Israel’s Kiryat Gat Campus located at\n\n\nSderot Avats 2\n\nKiryat Gat\n\nIsrael\n\n31.59473, 34.78801 |
| Remember the UFOs the size of suvs over New Jersey? And then remember the theories that they were searching for a lost nuke?\n\nYea. I really hope an Iranian sleeper cell doesn’t have that on our soil….. |
| how do U do it without hitting a car |
| There is no war in Ba Sing Se |
| BRO THIS MFER CANT SAY THE WAR IS OVER |
| Rivn $17 calls for Friday could possibly print big time with the combination of fresh market sentiment, new sentiment towards ev's cause of oil and R2 launch this Thursday. Im definitely buying calls tomorrow |
| Not sure why you’d play the ETF’s at this volume when you could just trade the index and get way more favorable tax treatment |
| So about Cuba? |
| Is he about to invade Cuba so he can set up a prison |
| Yeah I bought a put at close. Momma didn’t raise a fool. (I’ve lost so much money this year) |
| Money will make him TACO... down to the knees |
| #BREAKING: Military officials are reportedly having problems getting the soldiers training for a potential Iranian invasion to stop sarcastically yelling, “For Epstein!” every time they salute each other. |
| Soon™ |
| How many kids gonna die for no good reason in the world cuz or 🥭 |
| Have you tried mewing? It's most likely your mandible holding you back |
| "When will then be now???" \n \n#"SOON" |
| I have a girlfriend, she just works nights so you guys never see her |
| All the time brother |
| I can guarantee it pumps if you sell covered calls 😅 |
| He’s going to say it’s gonna be over soon to pump shit like 10 more times. This is where we are. Manipulating on global conflicts where kids are getting killed. This guy has no shame and definitely diddled kids if this is what he’s willing to do |
| No reason to go long for at least a month in my opinion |
| Went from unconditional surrender and mango selecting the new supreme leader to “job is done” in 2 days, noice |
| So some of y'all thought this wasn't going to be an attempt to pitch that this war isn't ending in the next few weeks to the American public? |
| at least ours actually seems to be ending soon unlike russia's quick excursion |
| Not next week |
| Not this week 😭😭😭😭 |
| 7000 pretty much a lock for tomorrow |
| The war will be over in about 3 to 4 |
| Wait until Iran starts launching their Kenneth Walker IIIs. |
| I made 5 cents today |
| Sorry, I can't get over "people walking around with no legs and no arms" |
| #"VERY SOON" VERY FAKE |
| The presidents bullshit isn’t going to open the straight of Hormuz. Who knows what fuckery they did today to make oil drop 50% from its high but it won’t last. |
| Oil going to $200 when everyone realizes our big orange fat is lying |
| Do Cuban women have big booties? |
| Im greeen |
| A war ending = less uncertainty |
| Oil starting to move up again. Nothing is finished. 😂 |
| Hopefully lol |
| IM IN |
| Hey congrats on waking up from your coma. Have a seat; we have much to cover. |
| Kermit dick rally incoming |
| Thank you for your attention to this matter |
| "War will be over soon" is the new "trade deals are almost done" and bulls will still endlessly believe it, not smart people |
| Lot of successful cuban people in this country. Like Mark Cuban. |
| “Unrestricted submarine warfare” is what dragged the US into WW2 when it wanted to stay neutral. No quicker way to turn sympathetic countries into enemies than indiscriminately sinking oil tankers. |
| And china will not allow the US to take over the Strait of Hormuz. \nStraight of Hormuz |
| It’s my fault bro I gotta lower my expectations |
| two weeks. Everything takes two weeks |
| So we just gonna sell off all night aren't we? |
| This week? |
| may be a friendly takeover, may not be a friendly takeover. we back in ww2 days? |
| Perma bull, honestly surprised it’s not dropping more ah, war sounds like it’s gunna be still a week or so and I don’t like this Cuba talk… |
| Lasers |
| People are tired of selling, this is my investment thesis |
| Getting special military operation vibes |
| Marco speaks Spanish so we could prob send him to Cuba lol wtf |
| PM? \n\nPizza Manager? \n\nPanic Mode? \n\nPost Malone? |
| It will be over this week |
| #ITS GOING TO BE ENDED SOON\n\nImagine if your boss spoke like this lmao. |
| That before robotaxies or Optimus or all together at once? Also Artemis is pushed for 2028 too, o boi what a year it'll be :') |
| That's racist |
| Why the fuck is there trash everywhere bruh?! AI just kill all humans already bruh |
| I suppose we'll find out soon enough. Either Trump or Iran is full of it when it comes to the straight of Hormuz being closed |
| do any of U guys trade while U guys drive |
| Any advice? |
| bulls just got double taco'd |
| market you bipolar cunt |
| If 🥭 announces all taxes must be handled by TurboTax I’ll cum. |
| Theta cucks win hope you’re happy keeping me poor |
| possible but not looking too likely right now |
| They are taking it over lmaoooo |
| I am serious. I have tried dating apps - either people ghost you or people just dont want to meet up. I have tried "Meet by Chance" - no one comes to the events |
| I had a 6720 call that I sold for 100% gain and then 15 mins later I cried watching it go to 8800😂😂😂😂😂 I got out and told my co worker watch the rsi reset form into a higher low and take off😂😂😂😂😂😂that’s exactly what happened my 1000$ could have turned into 670k |
| I’ll have a girlfriend… very soon… |
| "look at what we've done"\n\nwhat have you done?? 🤦♂️ |
| There's a correction every year, then we get to all time highs by December\n\nNEXT!!! |
| Friendly takeover lmao |
| "itll be over soon" \n"like in a week?" \n"no, but soon, real soon" |
| Pure lunacy…it was wild. |
| [ Removed by Reddit ] |
| not this week |
| Another 20 year war lets go boys |
| I am going to tell my boss on all deadlines: it all be done soon. That is all. Soon. |
| From October 27, 2024:\n\n> Iran's Khamenei seriously ill, son likely to be successor as supreme leader - NYT\n\nhttps://www.jpost.com/middle-east/iran-news/article-826211 |
| You gotta hop on and ride the wave in the meantime and always be aware that everything crashes eventually so if/when you make a few 100K you gotta start paying up to hedge it and protect yourself. \n\nWhen one bubble bursts everyone just moves onto the next bubble.\n\nOver my lifetime It seems they've been arriving faster than the previous one. \n\nSemi conductors,Telephone companies, airlines/travel industry, fast food, home Computers, software companies, Telecoms, Dotcoms, Subprime, Fracking/energy, Web2.0, Social media, Bitcoin, AI... \n\nNext bubble will probably be Quantum computing in the 2030s. |
| The emotional whiplash on small moves is so real. If you are green again, taking some risk off or at least setting rules for exits can help you sleep.\n\nNot directly investing advice obviously, but one thing that helps (in trading and marketing) is writing down your plan before the candle starts moving. I keep a couple simple planning templates here: https://blog.promarkia.com/ - might be useful. |
| Lmao |
| Definitely don't tread on that 🤢 |
| Trade futes fren |
| Gonna be the line for months |
| Yeah surely, WAR IS OVER |
| Soon, not days or weeks but soon |
| I'm doubling down at open tomorrow |
| Piece in my portfolio as fragile as in the middle east |
| How low does the S&P 500 go. I'm thinking 6500. |
| *not this week lmao |
| Green at night ber delight |
| Bear getting rug pulled after hours funny |
| The last time he gave Elon a black eye and made him stand and face the class at the oval office |
| Yeah, it’s been an exhausting year. |
| How many bag holders were born today |
| War over not this week, but very soon - Orange just answered |
| over this week! |
| Depends who you're calling |
| 70k on the 3/20 310c at 👀 casual sweep of 50k 25 min before close for $50M |
| Damm man |
| Not this week |
| I was gone most of the day, how did we go from -1.3% to .88% |
| Buy high sell low |
| Bears getting rug pulled. |
| Question: "Do you think this war will be over with this week?"\n\n🥭: "No, but soon." |
| I think a lot of y'all would benefit from calls at least 4 months out and just checking the markets once a week. |
| Cuban cigars soon to be available in the US. |
| its in. the markets like it |
| ***not over this week***\n\n#PAMP IT. |
| "War not over this week" lol ok |
| Most bullish Ayatollah since Khomeini |
| It will be over soon lmao |
| Open the casino |
| Bagholder spotted.\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.* |
| # *IRAN SAYS WAR CAN END IF GUARANTEED NOT ATTACKED AGAIN:STATE TV\n\nber r so so so fuk |
| This guy is a nothing burger. Wait until tacos tomorrow |
| Mango gonna give up Ukraine for oil. |
| My calls are dead aren’t they |
| It is war but ahead of sked due to the greatest military in the world . |
| Holy Fuck he is so stupid\n\nWhat the fuck is this? A victory speech? He has zero idea what he’s doing |
| Legend has it that the bears are still dancing. They plan to check the portfolio before going to bed |
| So we didn’t win, war is not over, hoor muz is still closed… got it |
| Market is closed, bers back in yippy mode 🤣 |
| Like it was yesterday … or two hours ago |
| It was actually a pretty insane day, I thought you were joking |
| Nothing new hes saying, just trying to save his voters because of oil prices |
| The only thing worse than losing 5k today is him talking about good timing |
| You have a link for that? |
| Wonning |
| Israel won't let that happen |
| Ahead of schedule isn’t over\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/qtyzhgb1f3og1.jpeg?width=1102&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2a54da1d91d8f0d8226c4cb209910a22e2ebe77c |
| Exactly… war changes no fundementals that gold was rising from. |
| https://preview.redd.it/tf7nq351f3og1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=288351ae28d84edea466a9468db5d6a699c4a5a3 |
| HPE is really annoying me -- was a pretty bullish report? |
| lol dementia |
| yes sir |
| Israel is literally bombing Tehran right now so.. idk 😂 |
| God I want the day to come where the first question is "Mr. Prez are you fucking retarded?" |
| All I have to say is CALL ON USOIL |
| Smells like horse shit. |
| I remember seeing it mentioned in some of the usual "What are some stocks that can change the world" type posts. |
| Please be smart now and do ITM with lots of time you made the 30k now keep it so what if you make another 30k in 60 days is worth having 60k in 60 days then no money at all just be smart ape |
| Winning or Won 🤔 |
| No one is going through. |
| Mango boofing ketamine again |
| Oh and btw - Happy napping day. You're gonna need it |
| why |
| someone needs to follow trump around with a live shot of futures so he immediately knows when he's saying something stupid, because apparently Stonks Go Down is the only thing he understands |
| Just stop now, grandpa |
| Remember last time a president said the war was over when fighting was still ongoing ? |
| This aged like wine. Not even 2 hrs later and Trump is walking back his walk back. Rofl |
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| Yeah man, no. Not gonna happen |
| Are you not entertained |
| There is also a possibility of superintelligence having the same (or worse) effect as the Industrial revolution and redefining all of this irrelevant.\n\nThat's what the hype is about. The investors thinking they are creating a god and expecting a genie.\n\nIn that case, the more buckets you have your eggs in, the more likelihood that one of them will hatch a superchicken that will devour the stock market, your job, your wife's boyfriend and humanity as a whole to turn us into batteries, paperclips, quantum computers or whatever.\n\nIn the dot com bubble, amazon won. But it was not obvious until years later. |
| This sounds like a continuing war speech lol |
| U need a lobotomy <3 |
| Bers in shambos 😂 |
| Because gold is a hedge against uncertainty. |
| No in this case hard R is both accurate and appropriate |
| we gonna pump or is this speech a major dissapointment? |
| “If needed, we’ll escort tankers”\n#\nWait.. what?? Market thought this was a foregone conclusion 🤣🤣 |
| so ya oil went nuclear and Donnie was grabbed by the pussy |
| *IRAN SAYS WAR CAN END IF GUARANTEED NOT ATTACKED AGAIN:STATE TV |
| Donald Pump destroyer of oil and inflation |
| When time comes lmaoooo not today |
| calls on LASE\n\n |
| you can't just say the word bankruptcy and expect anything to happen. |
| I had bought/sold those strikes earlier in the day. I left about $5,800 on the table\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/roy75vhoe3og1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d59eaaf663fc46d52ee5267fd63c27075a8bff7 |
| It's all LIES, maybe 2% of the news sources are reporting credibly. |
| Iran has a 94% literacy rate, versus the US's 79% |
| This post didn’t age well. |
| Oil could do the funniest thing |
| Yeah, bro, totally. Market and my port are at an ATH |
| This mf is talking straight bullshit |
| Dang, I thought Trump was going to call for a ceasefire and Iran would reject it. Instead Trump says that war is going to continue. |
| Meanwhile Trump reversing course already and saying this is just the beginning.\n\nThe insider trading on this has to be just insane. |
| So he is just listing a bunch of stuff that you could've figured out if you followed international news or Twitter updates? |
| LOL, he's basically reneging on the promise to escort ships through the Strait |
| Russia oil sanctions off. |
| This doesn't sound like a victory speech |
| If Americans could tailgate at a war they totally would. |
| Excursion. \n\nSo are y'all excurting or not? |
| 🥭 said Iran's nuclear program was set back by "decades" **eight months ago**, and he's back to saying they were weeks away from a warhead.\n\nHow the fuck can anything he says be taken at face value? |
| Says who? |
| I love ❤️ pumps and tits |
| lol Putin must be laughing out loud now |
| Give me 5 good men and we're going to decimate a big plate of hummus. |
| Not Puerto Rico, we know that. |
| Mango stop talking |
| 92% insider buying in March on RIG before the merger with Valaris on the second half of 2026 and next earning date April 27....🛢OIL🛢 ocean drilling 🛢🚀 RIG ...Transocean Ltd |
| This could have been an email |
| I don’t know about Iran, I definitely do wish that I didn’t invest in this market |
| There objective is destabilizing the ME, they dont care about US stock market. They want to the destroy the ME tourism business.. |
| WAR BACK ON UNTIL 4AM EST |
| So I think we could have gone without the live presser from a Florida retirement home. |
| what was expiration |
| Yeah they do. They myth of “all our neighbours are hostile” has been wrong for a long while, but it does help manufacture consent |
| https://preview.redd.it/nch93scle3og1.png?width=886&format=png&auto=webp&s=68276b4b3907c22202d67a23a04afdaca3557625 |
| Cruise missile? |
| Forehead data chips and lab grown kangaroo jerky |
| "Mission Accomplished." |
| Looking dumpy |
| FAKE ASS PUMP LMAOO |
| we have tremendous oil. lol |
| If anything, the people who are unlikely to vote are more likely to vote for Trump. |
| all so you can make $300 on your spy puts |
| He literally just said war is complete an hour ago and the market injected billions |
| Taco can’t afford market crash\nCan’t handle higher oil prices \n\nHe keeps lying about everything \nWar is still ON\n |
| So wen $6/gal ? |
| > * TRUMP: OPERATION EPSTEIN FURY WILL CONTINUE |
| is the ATH in the room with us? |
| Up 8k on oil but I wanna die fml why didn't I take an actually large position |
| I think the CIA bugged my bedroom for that name. |
| Excursion?! This ain't no cruise. |
| what ATH lmao???? |
| If someone could stop directing cruise missles into my port Id appreciate it |
| Yes, so a country with no navy, no airforce and no telecommunications can block the first military world power, which is what I said\n\nThe mean doesn't matter, the result is the same |
| J Pow rolling over in his grave |
| Crude with a meager 3% gap up. Glad it's not another 10% day loll |
| But! I heard the war is over!! |
| Why didn’t Obama take over the strait of Hormuz? Is he stupid? |
| Yea thats clear is day |
| Naw when has this type of succession ever went bad |
| The US is going to insure anyone who goes through the gulf?!? Lmao get ready for fraud on a biblical scale |
| Pump was a fakey bols |
| I wanna see a tanker firework |
| “The price will be incalculable” this dude is a comedian. |
| do you ever start texting someone and then you fuck up the first few words so bad that your messaging app doesn't even try to fix it so you just give up on the whole thing and try again later |
| Oh ok it's war still then. I think? Maybe? I don't fuckin know anymore. My brain is melting. 🫠 |
| Oil prices might have declined but the price of gas still rose a quarter this afternoon where I am so?!? |
| If Iran wasn't already trying to build a nuclear weapon they sure are going to try now. So now either we have to continue fighting the war, or we pull out and Israel is going to invoke the Samson option and go scorched earth on Iran. The moment Israel drops a nuke over Iran is the day the market goes -10%. |
| He saying a whole lot of nothing to address the oil issue. Ofcourse |
| 🥭speaking in bers funeral |
| yo Donnie there is an epic fury at my gas statition can we laser them? |
| maybe Jyna? |
| Is war back? |
| are you not listening? He isn't sayin anything new. |
| Sir where do you think you are? |
| Moron called into CBS mid day because he panicked about the markets. \n\nThat’s all he cares about. He has no actual plan. And this war is far from over. |
| Whoremooseee full of mines like clap in a whoremooss beaver |
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| plunge protection team putting the kibosh on epic fury |
| Fucking *excursion* |
| *IRAN SAYS WAR CAN END IF GUARANTEED NOT ATTACKED AGAIN:STATE TV \n\n\nwhy are we dropping? |
| Uh oh, guys. I think they realized it's not over. |
| Did he say something about lasers? |
| Lost 1.5k from puts today but I’ll keep doing it till it prints |
| best money through this shitstorm |
| Fla fla flunkie |
| Bruh. Balls of steel |
| futures realizing the war is in fact not over |
| Did he forget to put a cap before the spray tan released? |
| cool story bro trying to hide the 13 year old sexual assalt u committed lmaooo |
| Not the future we need, but the future we deserve |
| what did he say |
| \n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 1 | **First Seen In WSB** | 2 years ago\n**Total Comments** | 27 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 2 years | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) |
| Wordsmith |
| Strait of HormUSSY gonna be renamed “Trump-Bibi commemorative strait” |
| Lmaoo |
| Yeah I’m fucked. Why did I buy puts to hold overnight? |
| *Trump: Operation Epic Fury will continue\n\nLOOOOOOOOL |
| *blows a bunch of stuff up and causes chaos everywhere*\n\n🥭: how could they do this to us |
| That’s exactly what’s going on |
| It’s not. I said it will eventually when there’s a competitor |
| I didnt realize futes were allowed to be flat any more |
| They’re not hard to shoot down, the cost of defending is an issue though |
| Ruh roh |
| When Operation Epic Furry? |
| We will hit them so hard that that section of the world will never recover. 😂 |
| Are you syrias? People are dying mate |
| Remember folks, when WSB has severe TDS, it’s time to inverse smh |
| Looking down to read his script lmfao |
| Damn ber so fukd |
| TIMBER |
| Whore mooosssss |
| A.i. laser data center nukes\n\nLfg! |
| if they want to play that game.. they better not play that game\n\nGENIUS |
| Ceasefire at market open\n\nBack at war at market close\n\nRinse and repeat |
| Speaking is a generous way of describing it. |
| Its gone |
| i considered going in light today with 300 but didnt want to risk it. |
| if they wanna play that game, they should play Risk |
| Looks like a debacle. You killed the father for the son to take over and now “very complete”. Something about dangerous ambitions. |
| You guys are going to see exit liquidity for my friends like never before. Like nobody has ever seen ever |
| lol straight of homos |
| Exactly. Gotta sell when things are up. |
| He called into cbs so the markets would react to their news and his calls would print it’s clear. He’s a liar, full of shit and making tons of money which keeps his sycophants in his admin around and in check. |
| Epic Furry on steroids |
| Crime algo’s take a minute to load |
| I heard diddy oiled it up pretty nice |
| We are going right back down tomorrow \n\nThis man is a fucking moron |
| It doesn’t really sound like the war is over |
| Lmao continue the operation means war on |
| I TRUSTED YOU futes. Not this time. Eat shit. |
| Iran has been two weeks away from having a nuclear weapon since 1981 |
| Can you cut off the bullshit and to the point? |
| he forgot starship Enterprise took them out |