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People gotta realize how profitable it is to open and close the thing
Lmaoooo I’m crying
Facebook had 2.3 billion active users in 2018 and now has 3 billion monthly active users.
This is a story as old as time it self. Feel bad for you bers, actually I don’t I lied.
If the strait gets closed and opened again next week SPY could hit 780
Sounds like strait closed again by Iran, tanker hit. Also french soldier killed in Lebanon. Bulls r fuk
RIP to me but I can accept the end
That's it?
Hopefully you’ve had that same energy for all past administrations. There’s a reason why nothing ever improves for the poors.
Bearish in here
Selling covered calls during 15 straight green days hasn’t been going well
"There is no spoon."
More like gap down and calls trapped just like the bears were last week
and?\n\nthis quarter alone: Snap -16% citing AI, Block -40% with Dorsey directly blaming AI, Oracle cutting up to 30k tied to AI capex, Salesforce's Benioff on record saying "I need less heads"\n\nit is a pattern forming...which will only accelerate
you may not like it but meatball is the ideal male form
Ok. Now legalize weed and shrooms so we can all be high throughout this shit.
/remindme 10 days
We do know who is insuring and what their rates are. You can also read their current warnings.
🥭 should legalize mango juul pods
I need to remind myself it’s a dog eat dog world out there. \n\nBut also some of the dogs control things I’ll never control, so I just always get eaten.
Lmao what
Fucking lolll
Would love to see a blow off top Monday but it'll probably won't happen
Holy hell. I know Meta is a big company but I was confused why they felt the need to have 80,000 people on payroll.
Oh you
many of you are cute and will get fuk by my smol pp
he's working and in the oval on a Saturday...? What will the caddies do this weekend?!
Bears will not be the ones destroying your calls on Monday, it will be the real world which the market has been ignoring for weeks.
And then you see a 14 day rip up. You will be back, just too late. LMAO
Could somebody please... Find JOE ROGAN, so I can make SENSE of all this? WHERE is JOE? Help me, JOE ROGAN....\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/mx4gquxjayvg1.png?width=2100&format=png&auto=webp&s=98f94174e616b71827cdd1c162eada4ae7f1b3cd
Imagine the pump when strait opens for the 27th time. Calls.
The world is led by selfish cunts. That's the reality. !! Changing the course everyday to gain personal benefits.
Jobs aren't real either
Yup, this is the way. Make some money in the market, and gtfo.
You're fantastic
I was wondering why that $11 million in short dated SPY puts hit the wire right after the bell yesterday. Barron always knows.
Oh i understand, my brain got completely rewired because of that shit, and im an introvert.\n\nThe goal posts were moved sooooo fucking much that ill never be able to catch up or be ready for things like homeownership.
a very smart man once said "They don't know what the fuck they are doing"
The fire rises !
Joe Rogan influencing health policies now LMAO
Basically yeah
I suck at trading - going to try my luck at competitive fartmaxxxing. Need some advice for some really thunderous ones - I've got beans, cruciferous vegetables, dairy, what else? Does it help to hold the cheeks shut or keep them open? Thank you for your attention to this matter!
Duh lol. Iran is making bank off this shit.
One thing that’s for certain I’m loading up on spy calls if there is a pullback next week
Very dependent on org and job, some teams are putting in 70 hour weeks, some people from data science are watching their favorite soccer match full screen from 3-5pm eastern.
Dont follow your dreams, dream of being followed.
how does the max contributions work? I am putting 1k a month in my roth what is the maxout? Seeing like 7k and 18k\n\nMaking 150k base about 180-200k with bonus but up 15k YTD in my personal
Iran fires on a tanker, reimposes restrictions
Bers spend every weekend dreaming up scenarios that would make everyone as poor and depressed as they are
Are you implying (and did 20 people like) that the fed has secretly issued $6 trillion of debt? Just want to check how retarded things actually are in here. \n\nI think you fooled these morons by using the term quantitarige easing (which you clearly don't have a strong handle on).
It seems this two week rally has been based on everyone thinking someone else knows something and Fomo. It turns nobody knows anything, nothing is agreed, and war will continue until destruction of one or both sides.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Bers getting slaughtered is real
It'll dip now and create a hand then the pitchfork forms.
The political shenanigans that happened in the aftermath of the South Sea Bubble is worthy of a dark comedy movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_1IpUCUuVc\n\nWhen their equivalent of the Epstien list was discovered and thus could implicate much of the government, it turned into a mad scramble to disappear that evidence without making it obvious that they want the evidence gone.
Its 37.6 million per employee wtf 😭😭
War on the weekend, peace doing weekdays.
Imagine you are a tanker captain and or the company CEO or President of the shipping company. Are you really going to risk trusting the diplomacy process when 'it's open' actually means you might be attacked at any moment and have your people killed and lose hundreds of millions or possibly billions of dollars?\n\nFor all intents and purposes, the straight is CLOSED based on reality of action, not tweets and bs lies. Use your brain. This is far from over.\n\nP.S. Remember that we have zero details on who is insuring what right now. No one actually knows who is responsible if a tanker goes up in flames at this point.
Most likely
Who said we learned nothing on the Enron ride
Now the real pain begins
Someone get rfk Jr a cough drop
I interviewed twice for Meta\nFor data center ops manager roles. Both times I was interviewing it went silent from recruiter and ops managers inteeviewing me. Not because i didnt get the job but because both times the recruiter team and managers got laid off. I saw their linkedin status go to looking cor work and messsaged tbem\nAnd was told “ya we all got axed”
Our gains gonna get repoed Monday
112 damn, been bagholding those
*Bane voice* lets the gamma plunge begin
snip snap snip snap
You are on my thread, being a clown for free
Hes probably right. Spy doesnt go down
market gonna fill a lotta gaps
I'm stepping away. I literally cant tell what's real anymore, and it makes everything in my life seem meaningless. Hoping to get a new job that will allow to me semi retire in about 10 years then go semi off-grid indefinitly.
I no longer follow the news or economic data, and of course, I don't listen to that crazy old man talking nonsense 24/7. My trading hasn't changed, the price keeps doing what it’s supposed to do regardless of what he says, as if everything were truly predetermined in some way. Now it's time for a correction after the overbought state, just when 'coincidentally' something happens again in the conflict. Yeah, right... I can dedicate that energy and time to something else.
They also said, "fuck your negotiations"
Actually my leetcode interviews are fine. I'm just not dumb enough to grind high scores because Leetcode isn't going to help anyone working behind the wendys pretty soon :-\\
What a week. Crazy
COMO LE HAGO\n\nENSEÑEN
3 comments under this is an article from the guardian. is that white enough for you to trust?
Not really
Are tendies truly how we reach salvation?
How many posts, comments, victory lap statements, and clear celebration from rightists did we see yesterday?\n\n\nIt wqs obviously a coordinates effort for a Friday pump
Al Jazeera is a pro-Iran new source. Only fools would consume the news from only one side.
I don't understand why traders keep believing him.
This is setting everything up for sunday to come and they announce successful peace talks and agreements and everything else you wanna hear and market opens half percent up Monday morning
War is back on the menu? Yeah, sure, SPY 750 on open
https://preview.redd.it/kw3zlbas9yvg1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eb2dabde95a088f219827cd1270594aef37caf32
This, and that we should all be forced to work in an office when its not needed a lot of the time. A bunch of "it used to be this way, im comfy with this way, any other eay is wrong". Did some take advantage, yup, humans always do. Thousands of employees at my company were MORE productive from home, including my wife.
we were due for a pullback anyway
Trump currently live from the White House, so far talked about:\n\n* Executive order for medical research\n* Veterans\n* Kamala Harris bad\n* Fake news media\n* TrumpRx for cheap drugs\n* A very smart and rich guy, who used to call me "Donny", told me drug prices are too high in New York, so I'm going to make it 10x cheaper\n* Veterans were treated for depression and anxiety and they were healed for 90% "can I have some please?" \*entire room laughs\*
The world is changing
No thanks
Aka you only look at info that affirms your world view. I sincerely hope you have put your money where your mouth is and placed puts. May the best man make money.
They already had 1 and 3/4 ships getting sunk priced in so the market goes up because Iran missed!
and what does your “real” news source say is happening? pancakes for everyone, world peace is achieved?
You’re projecting your own insecurities. Nobody cares about where you got your degree or what your major was. There are indeed some companies that hire only from the Ivy Leagues but that’s the exception not the rule
Something something up
I wonder if Iran decided to get in on the market manipulation too? Were there some massive puts bought on Friday?
Industrial strength copium at scales the likes of which we've never seen.
The bears are back to jerking off to news from Al Jazeera. Their puts will go to zero as usual.
I thought Joe was RIP
imagine working there and having this hang over your head for weeks. “is it gonna be me? is it gonna be my teammembers?” just so cruel. do it and don’t broadcast it publicly like this jfc
War is back on! You know what that means: +10% rally starts at 8:45 Monday!
Can you just slowly buy puts to drip-feed us gains until you run out of money? Please and thank you.
I think they hated it in like the 80s, not these days as much
Ah, an academic who failed a leetcode interview. Sad.
Wasnt Joe rogan actively hating on trump recently?\n\n\nThis guy is flip flopping more than the strait
bulltardio has been running for two weeks straight\n\nbulltardio doesn’t know how to stop
Famous last words
Billions and billions of insider money in one room\n\nWhat a sight
k. dont care.
I interviewed with a guy who had [football.com](http://football.com) and I asked him what the strategy was, the whole strategy was step 1 we have the name, step 2 billions.
You talk as if there still is a normal for us to come back to. I'm not that sure about that.
Sounds like a good way to ruin the sport tbh
https://www.theguardian.com/world/live/2026/apr/18/middle-east-crisis-live-iran-warns-it-will-close-strait-of-hormuz-if-us-blockade-continues?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other\n\nOh shit, here we go again\n
What company? Onlyfans?
Flair doesn’t check out.
I'll never understand how the price of the one commodity underpinning the entire system is so easily talked down.
My SPY calls r soooo FK….. 🤬my bh got a heart beat 😭😭😭😭😭
The Latest: Iranian gunboats fire on tanker in Strait of Hormuz as Iran reimposes restrictions\n\n
Intel gonna rip
#Ban Bet Lost\n\n/u/No-Homework7377 made a bet that SPY would go to 700.0 within **1 day** when it was 708.002 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.\n\nTheir record is now 0 wins and 2 losses\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
You know this means big green on monday, right? Why you think it always on the weekend, cuz it will be resolved by monday
Trombo: THE STRAIGHT SHALL NEVER BE CLOSED AGAIN PRAISE ALLAH\n\nIran: he don’t speak for me
🫡
Same output =/ growth which is my exact point. If we incentivize the same output, that’s what companies will anchor on. If we incentive growth then companies should not be laying off 10% of their workers when they’re highly productive and profitable.
weekend dow didn't matter for weeks
We need to close our positions on Fridays. I naively thought, 'this time he will take a weekend off corruption'...nope! Crime doesn't sleep, crime does not sleep! Lesson fucking one.
These techies have been making $200k-$400k a year for years, they’ll probably get 6 months of severance on top of what they’ve already saved, they’ll be fine
https://preview.redd.it/cdrs9vxx8yvg1.jpeg?width=1085&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c883bf1d8c257878fd170f900fa71886dc9fdd5a
BREAKING: Joe Rogan does DMT in the oval office
it was same shit last weekend.. and you think this time is different? Bears never learn.. sadly
eye bogain - remember the name
Big time…especially since I haven’t worked in a few weeks. But partially because of that I’ve been really conservative with my approach to trading lately. I haven’t lost money though, knock on wood. It’s funny because when I first got involved with this crazy game six years ago I was balls to the wall and it paid off. My sibling is an ex broker and is extremely careful when it comes to trading and I used to give them shit back then. Boy, 2020 were heady days to be a noob. You talk about 2000% profits being handed out like candy? One could throw a dart at a dartboard and pick a winner almost every time in those days
Lubed 💧(•) already for Monday . My calls 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵😭😭😭
Damn! And when I look fo4 such jobs I get nowhere. It seems that they are limited to Stanford grads or something. In any case I won't last a week in such a job.
The all time chart says this spy 1000
2000 blessings be upon you.
Totally see this as the marginalized element trying to stay relevant.
gl
Psilocybin Mushrooms fixed my depression
I know a lot of FAANG employees haha, they’re all normal good intentioned people that don’t wish joblessness on people on Reddit
Fantastic! Glad someone got a small win after being down for so long.
Well the employees were paid a salary to work in the metaverse. So they were paid during that time. Meanwhile Zuckerberg lost billions during that same period.
Yup, and thats true for almost every company, they still have more than before covid.\n\nWhich brings me to believe that these layoffs arent economy driven, it's sort of coming back to normal after covid.\n\nSame thing with inflation..... 40% of all dollars in existence were printed in a year, just so 40 million people could sit at home and enjoy the new normal.\nIt will still take few years before it normalizes. The soft landing never meant stopping inflation, theyre going to let it run, faster than usual, but slow enough so there arent riots in the streets.
what is ur read on the statements (last weeks) of the iranian foreign minister? \n\nis he working in tandem with the irgc or in a power struggle with them?
Yeah yeah compound and all that shit but when I join the fun it becomes a casino **LMAO** 🤌
They should do whatever they have to do to get that stock over $1000
Erm, 2 questions, why are Joe rogan there? and why his he barely taller than the chair?
The market isn’t tied to the war. It’s 🥭’s approval rating.
Trump Live: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xrI-\_qo64E](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xrI-_qo64E)
I don’t think the purpose was to hurt anyone or sink the ships sorry bulltardio
Bols really think it'll just go up for eternity lmao
I get it - but like should we let American companies offshore all of our fucking jobs for pennies? They've traded doing that for onshoring H1B. These tech companies are making globs of money and laying off thousands of people with zero repercussions while paying no taxes or doing any god damn thing despite the billions that have been gifted to them by the American taxpayer. Fuck these corporations.
People are only happy if the bers are fuk or the bols are fuk.
Wonder how we can all learn such in depth regardness
Haha
So Axios, Reuters, Iran and the US are actively trying to manipulate the stock market.
I think 🥭 get his Intel on the war from the same publicly available sources we do. It's the only explanation for how he can be so wrong half the time on what's happening or is about to happen
Trump legalizing ketamine therapy
AP News: British military say container vessel was attacked near the Strait of Hormuz
Let's have a weekly update meeting with 15 folks and give Dave (the only sucker working) the opportunity to give us a progress update!
Nice long META. If each employee was making an average of 200k, that’s 1.6 billion dollars in net savings.
And….. 🌮 playing 🏌🏼‍♂️⛳️ 😭😭😭 my calls 😭😭😭
In the most basic sense, raw milk tastes better. It is even thicker than whole milk. Getting directly from a cow you know is very satisfying. \n\n\nFrom a grander view, anything touching commercial food distribution or preparation is subject to potential mass production quality issues. Diseases. Chemicals. Microplastics. These sound "nutty", but there is increasing evidence this is a real thing.\n\n\nI also buy about 90% of my meat from a local farm. A pig, cow, that just roam around eating grass until slaughter. \n\n\nI make my own cereal.. out of four ingredients. \n\nI make yogurt from the raw milk.. that doesn't burn to the bottom like whole milk from the store. \n\nPeople in the USA aren't living as long as we used to. There is a reason for it. I like eating fresh, local, food. It just makes sense to me. \n\n\nRaw milk from a commercial distributor, for me, completely defeats the purpose.
Who is afraid of toothless devil? Calls it is!
If war is back on does that mean my AVAV calls are saved?
Except that they don't pick and choose who gets laid off. When I was at Microsoft, I was simply handed a name or names to lay off, often times it was some of my better engineers. I would have gladly chosen who we laid off, but they made me lay off good employees because when it's a "RIF" it's basically random as fuck for everyone in the org beyond whatever high level exec drew their fucking name out of a hat.
if they are able to do the same output with less people there’s no reason not to. if *if* ai can actually replace these employees and they kept them it’d be like choosing to hand wash all of your dishes when you have a brand new dishwasher in the kitchen. let the laid off employees enter the free market and start new companies.
#Ban Bet Lost\n\n/u/LeftBullTesty made a bet that SPY would go to 699.0 within **1 day** when it was 708.23 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.\n\nTheir record is now 0 wins and 10 losses\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
🤣🤣🤣
You have not met FAANG people. These are extremely entitled people with a mix of nepo babies. Within software engineering communities, the elitism that they created basically meant people like myself who have hard stem degrees are looked down on, even though the math and technology is the same. \*They\* were the one's who created this nonsense where you need to be bay area or nyc, from a "top ivy league" that generally teaches the same things as everyone else, where also most of the time the professors at public schools are doing more cutting edge research.\n\nNah they can get in the same unemployment lines they created for everyone else and lets see if those credentials match up when all of them are applying for the same jobs in an AI market. Good luck!
Nope I’m p content 😌
You can use Schwab's Think or Swim to paper trade.
there are still 48 hours for things to come unglued.
https://preview.redd.it/fmisrm508yvg1.jpeg?width=846&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1af6a1c511c63838795bc629189dd90f4aa2c698
\t\nUS defense official: IRGC conducted at least three attacks on commercial ships in the strait of Hormuz since Saturday morning - Axios.
My Calls 🥵🥵🥵🥵
People pretend AI is taking jobs when really these employees didn't do any work anyways
Bull r fuk
> US to recover uranium from Iran at a 'leisurely pace', Trump tells Reuters
Sus!! Hope so. My calls 🥵
No one got hurt, and the boats are fully functioning.\n\n\nCalls because Iran has bad aim.
Donny is currently Live, lets see if he's going to talk about sex, bring out the bingo cards
lmao Joe Rogan at the shroom rescheduling press conference \n \n \n \nhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xrI-_qo64E
Bears will never learn. Red Sunday night even at open +1% at close
And then close at 4:01pm. Almost like banker hours.
They saying UK 🇬🇧 tankers
Strait closed, ships getting shot at.\n\n750 here we come!
🐻 🌈
I lost $300 during this week’s rally 🙄🫩
You'd have to get rid of stoppage time too.\n\nThat fucking breaks the brains of everyone I've tried to get into the sport.
Joe Rogan at the oval office
That's ok we are all equally stupid
Netflix to 200 when
This is honestly just the market self regulating. These grossly overpaid tech jobs are becoming less necessary and it’s neither good nor bad. It just is. The landscape is changing.
I just use my work enterprise account to make AI cat videos. Problem solved.
Iran talks are fucked again.\n\nSORRY BULLS, YOU'RE GETTING FUCKED NEXT WEEK! HAHA
They shot into the air when 3 boats were near. Everyone is alive and well and the boats sre fully functioning.
Iran 🇮🇷= “🤞Strait of Hormuz open🤞”
If soccer were split into six 15 minute quarters, it could take off in the US and turn into a trillion dollar business. So much potential.
But there are millions of Americans in here
Strait of hormuz\n\nHorm uz\n\nHorn us\n\nUs market will do the horn pattern.\n\nSolid dd give this guy a tendie.
Iran playing games Sunday deal
Do I understand correctly that your portfolio is cash and a single put?
Gym buddies saying go to the gym\n\nNah bitch we bed rotting today
Weekend dow down 0.5% already\n\nBulls are fucked tomorrow night
You wish.
And at the same time simping for billionaires.
The strait will open Monday at 930AM EST for no obvious reason. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Look at the bright side. Someone will make money on Monday.
Who would have thought that net-loss companies would be struggling? All that seed money is burning like tinder.
Game, blouses
It’s like the line from the movie: “I may have been early, but I’m not wrong.”\nInvestor: “That’s the same thing!”\n
Spelled that way ironically ya fuck, enjoy 😉
For some reason, it keeps reminding me of that quote\n\n> When they opened the Flamingo... one day it was closed, the next day it was open.
#Ban Bet Lost\n\n/u/Sea_Leadership5591 made a bet that RZLV would go to 5.0 within **1 month** when it was 2.335 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.\n\nTheir record is now 0 wins and 1 losses\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
i bought mine right as we crossed 112.\n\ni also bought about 5-7 other ones that got obliterated as soon as i bought them
If it works. Why change it?
"US defense official: IRGC conducted at least three attacks on commercial ships in the strait of Hormuz since Saturday morning - Axios."\n\n
White House event currently live about Trump signing an executive order in a moment, what is it about?
You’ll be unbanned when you learn how to spell
Iran 🇮🇷 shooting tankers and USA 🇺🇸 blockade 😭
Please spy back to $680 😖🥺
My organization has a similar issue with management and tech. Lots of forwarding of emails and no actual actioning issues and tech concerns. “Can you assist?” \n
I'm not but clearly you are. Amc only needs 8000% gains to return to prices 5 years ago.
Can't wait to talk about the Strait of Hormuz another week 🤠
Ultra rare Devil of Doom sounds less like a market crash and more like a Yu Gi Oh card about to short your portfolio.
I held my oil calls because I knew the 🥭 had put all his toy boats and planes over there and wasn't going to not play with them.
Pretty sure the market doesn’t care about Iranians in rowboats equipped with crossbows and slingshots. Calls it is
My company did $6M profit per employee - still having AI layoffs
Ye, that's an elite from sts2
What’s next play
Whatever nerds, calls it is
brother there are at least dozens of us
Very few people command those total comps, and when they do a huge portion is RSUs/stock
You already have a bet going - PCT to 10.0 before 18-Apr-2026 09:35 AM -05
!banbet
Got to make more money in the markets. All of the big cats will flush a high and dump on Monday. Either overnight or premarket into open. Dump the prices down, buy back up and just like that… good news will come again. Almost like this is just a money making mechanism… multiple times a day/week
What time am I band today?
How what happened
Bullish
Poor bols don’t even know black Monday is coming 🫩
I wanted to do 860 but that is a bit optimistic.
Here I was starting to look at what the Mango Cuba trade was and I wake up to find I might be able to take another round trip (or two) shorting oil. It's almost become a cyclical trade every 36 hours.
The average redditor never fails to amuse me. Wishing joblessness on 80k people lol
Might still work as gunboats attacked a tanker just a little while ago.
The new season of the Boys already has so much meme material mayne
Dm me
Gengar is that you
Shows a similar pattern, but should not be confused with the Hormuz.
Black Monday 💥😭 My calls no !!!
Bers, this is simply not going to make a difference. It’s actually bullish because they get to reopen it again next week and take another victory lap. 🥭 won, he always wins
They have AI god,,, nothing can beat them
You mean same script again?
You meant 660
Teslas just going to get rolled in under SpaceX and just start producing robots at some point the cars will be an income blip. I really don’t like Elon Musk at all, but I think he played this /us well.
The usual "Subsidise the rollout to hook in customers for the later price increase"
Do bers get autobanned on this sub? Good
4.3% unemployment, years of growth in real median wages, 3.3% inflation, etc etc
Ok? It’s still pure hype 😂
Taco Bell pays $18/hr to high school kids in my area. If you struggle to find a job for more than $45k you have a serious skill issue. Factory work with overtime will easily pay $70-80k
Gay tendencies
Do the elites know about this? 🤡
I feel like I'm the only WSBer in my country
Amazing 🙂
Same
I tell myself that I am stressed and busy just to not get bothered on the flip side I am not stressed I am relaxed as hell even when I shouldn’t be? What's worse could happen right?
I bought SPY puts on Friday evening.
**Ban Bet Created:** **/u/Inevitable_Estate459** bet **SPY** goes from **710.76** to **760.0** before **16-May-2026 09:04 AM EDT**\n\nTheir record is 0 wins and 1 losses.\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
!banbet SPY 760 4w
Best DD I’ve ever seen \n\nCalls
Will continue to repeat the exact actions for a unknown length of time, theres no certainty on any agreement. Cant trust them, and 🥭 speaks daily with no facts , its all hype the current news. True gambling
In this case, it’s more just that the thing they were working on failed.\n\nIn cases where AI cuts the workforce, yeah there should be safety nets for the employees to an extent I agree, but we shouldn’t artificially hinder the progression of technology (or the companies) to save jobs.
War on...war off...war on...war off...
I swear trump knows my portfolio and does everything possible to do the exact opposite and screw me over.
شكراً لك
Currently attempting shitmaxxing in anticipation of my portfolio's performance Monday.
Calls on Costco for the weekend ration rush
The Iranian military which we decimated says the strait is closed which was never closed and by market open will still be not closed
Fack you
Bagholder bears coming out of their caves and it’s a nothing burger lmao.
Bears forgot last saturday Where we was down -2% on weekend tech yall know how Monday Ended\n\nSpy 715\nTsla 420\nNVDA 215\nAMD 280\nGoogl 360\n
weekend warriors
Will be interesting to see how usefull AI will be if you have to actually pay for it instead of circle jerking your way to cover the cost.
That 'ultra rare Devil of Doom' candle looks dramatic on the chart, but one bearish session is just volatility. NVDA AI demand and earnings momentum remain fundamentally intact
Most. Depends on how you manage your emergency fund, getting fired fund, and vacation fund.
I love how there is no war on working days, only weekends.
I don't doubt it'll keep going for another year or 2 as people try to keep the ship afloat, but we're stuck at the barely replacing junior coders and bad analysis blowing schoolgirls phase for awhile now when the whole point of this build up is AGI. LLMs has been a deadend for awhile now.
Puts are obvious, therefore calls, bers never learn
What’s your next move with this? Taking the L or rolling forward?
Get your crypto shorts ready. 🥭 speaks within the hour
Zuckerberg made a poor decision to invest big in metaversa and it flopped. Now those employees are fired and the decision makers gets to keep his job? Where is the accountability?
250k? Bro, they make 500k-1mln for that shit lol
SPY 720
Currently Meta generates $2.6M revenue per employee. After this round of layoffs that’ll be closer to $2.9M or $3M revenue per employee. If this isn’t enough…what is? For comparison Coca-Cola generates $735K revenue per employee. \n\nThese companies don’t have an issue with unproductive labor or with profitability, they are slowing on growth engines and instead of fixing this and finding new innovative ways to continue growing they’re slashing their highly productive workforce. This sounds great when things are slow, but if things pick up again then these companies will be scrambling to hire productive talent back at premiums.
Well, no, they work less than 2 hours a day in reality.
BLACK MONDAY
I used Excel today, will $MSFT moon even further now?
Can we please stop pretending that the news today will have any effect on the market on monday?\n\n\nWe played this game the last two weekends already.\n\n\nIran is lying. The US is lying. And in the end there will be a ceasefire extension anyways and more green comming.
Bears very hopeful to recover 3% of their last week’s losses
I was talking to an ex-Google guy and his job was literally maintaining an open source project like reviewing pull requests and doing chores/maintenance.\n\n$350k salary 💀🤌 same job as someone in Eastern Europe would do for like $15k and benefits.. and fuck it people do for free most of the time.
Bers have seen this story a million times just to watch a historic run past ATH. They really never learn. Can’t wait for all the “this market is so rigged” comments on Monday when we open green lol
The war is dead, long live the war
Meta calls it is then
WHY DOES WAR SHIT HAPPEN ON SATURDAYS ONLY
Good technical analysis!
World piss has been restored
Claude still my go to. I’ll wait for those message resets no problem.
Bullish
Just how greedy can one man get.
Is anyone here surprised at this shit?
So you’re telling me all those “my day as a FAANG employee where they spend 5 hours eating snacks and chatting with coworkers and 2 hours of actual working” TikTok and YouTube shorts are real?
It definitely news worthy Can not find anything about two shops being attacked. U R a legend for coming back thanks
I’ve read that as well, it’s a theory. \n\nI guess it would have to be someone in Irans orbit or trumps !!\n\nAs far as whore moose, I believe Trump said the blockade would stay in place till a deal is reached. \n\nWho knows what any of it means, someone is def making cash
It’s rele as simple as a brainwashed generation risking their financial lives to prop up the stock market. It ends eventually. It will be like Ronda Rousey or Charlie Sheen career.
markets will ignore all this and go with vibes
The only options that exist are 0dte, not sure what you mean
I hope you all enjoyed that whole one day of world peace
Ultra rare Devil of Doom Bro that’s just my portfolio every time I buy calls at the top.
Here’s another reminder that after 8000 more layoffs Meta will have 50% more employees than in 2019.
Watchlists are poors. Fractional shares are a thing. Always put some skin in the game.
Market manipulation…every Friday.
I mean sure, but without AI would have they been fired ?\n\nIf yes it's fine, it's no it's a bit more annoying. But I know it's almost impossible to regulate, it's just that at some point it might become an issue
Fire 100 % employees and let the stock jump 1000%
Just checked it’s very straight
OpneAI struggling to pay for the servers it pinky promised it would pay for.\n\nClaude starting to be gigastingy with their tokens and basically telling anyone who isn't enterprise to go kick rocks.\n\nAlso opus 4.7 being a disaster of a launch is making people doubt that Mythos is even that good other than hyping for an IPO play.\n\nJensen is desperate to be able to get the Chinese market.\n\nCracks are starting to show....
20% this year another 20% next year
This is just posturing ahead of the negotiations. They picked on an Indian ship and it was probably pre-agreed with India.
SPY 150 end of month
I dunno guys, I was confidently told "that shit \[the SoH energy shock\] doesn't matter man, S&P is unstoppable" by a 25-year-old Redditor on Thursday, so who's really to say??
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Layoffs make big headlines, hiring does not. META's all-time high headcount was around 86,000 employees in mid-2022, since then they've undertaken several rounds of mass layoffs. Yet, their current headcount is \~79,000 - almost 40k higher than what they had pre-pandemic. You'll see the same trend across tech. There is constant churn, continuous firing and hiring at the same time.
Pure retardium post incoming as soon as gramps wakes up and changes his diaper
How much of your cash are you normally supposed to allocate into investments? 10k? 100k? 200k?
Nope selloff incoming
I’m impatient for the world to burn so we can rebuild.
I’m still waiting for powerplant and bridge day all wrapped up in one
How much of this is just firing the mass hires they were doing these past few years just to buy up all the labor supply and keep them away from their competitors. Now they realise they don’t need them so BYE BYE
Pokemon cards is also pretty saturated
Don’t worry Bols, I said thank you and praised Allah \n\nAnother gap up is incoming
Famous last words though
Great plan, if it weren’t for the good/bad news being consistently announced outside market opening hours
Doctor? That's motherfucking Jesus.
yes
what the fuck, again ?
350 lmao wut
[Hitler learns clopen sets](https://youtu.be/SyD4p8_y8Kw?si=fI1dzZjTqeI5zPtA)
Noone cares anymore. Tankers who are not caged behind the strait are getting their oil somewhere else.
If your expiration is longer duration than a week or two you’ll be fine
It’s call your own fouls out here brother man
Woah... it's a strait cat then. When is the gay cat?
As much as people hate layoffs, the FAANG software engineers have been some of the most entitled human beings on the planet. In almost every case where I've worked with ex-FAANG people, I have been completely unimpressed since when they come into an organization where they actually have to code and do something, they flop.\n\nMost of these people were just empire building and figuring out ways to become a Project manager and tell people what to do, at extraordinarily high salaries. Literally people who's job is to make a button change color from green to blue based on some statistics, and getting paid $250K a year for it.\n\nFire all these lames with haste.
Sell spx puts
It’s one way to pump the wars ended numbers up.
Priced in by Monday and all time spy highs by 3pm
:/
Don’t get too excited about those puts. IRGC gunboats “fired upon” a ship. Crew and ship are safe. I think we chop a bit until full resolution, but don’t be like the guy who YOLO’d SPY 350 puts.
Watching futures > Touching grass
I heard BLACK MONDAY COMING
Somehow they will figure it out Sunday night. I wonder if Iran is on the game.
The war is over. Now on the new war.
10% correction on Monday, all your calls get wipe out then you go full bearish, and then we get a 10% pump, all your puts get wipe out \n\n \nIts not about making money, its about forcing you to go back to Wendy's
Well, that didn't last.
"Praise be with Allah"\n\n\- Ayatollah Assahola
Reading Reddit the last week, the Strait has been both opened and closed every day
The strait will open at market open ( it’s been closed since last 45 days by the way)
STRAIT STATUS ???
Those who get fired will need something to fill their time, war is useful.
Let me guess, green on Monday?
Remember when it started? They talked shortages? \n\nYeah, right
It’s one meal when you are eating the losses
🥭 getting out mogged in the strait
I thought the war was over though. Trump has all the cards though
Doctor
Why would you want the government to stop a company from laying off employees it doesn’t need…?
A worthy sacrifice for your gains
As much as my puts would love that, I seriously doubt anything could affect the market atm. Not when 🥭 is actively manipulating the market on a daily basis with zero repercussions.
Market fundamentals are stored in the balls.
HELP back on the board
ChEUUUU kKKingg
?
Then it's a forced war, no one does mass production and economy boosting during global wars like the US
Isn't that Shakira?
Yeah
apolgy for bad english\n\nwhere were u wen portfolio die\n\ni was at house eating dorito when phone ring\n\n"hormuzz is close"\n\n"no"\n\n
Portfolio is gonna hit 200k this year 🤗 (pennies)
Lmao bulls acting like they did not just get irrational 14 days pump without any pullbacks now calling bers dumb for expecting 1 day pullback from extremely overbought ATH 🤣
I started playing this. Seems we have more down weekends than up.\n\nPuts on Friday. Calls on Monday.
🚨 Breaking News 🚨 \n\nIranian gunboats have attacked my portfolio.
Crazy bastard
This time the do-over will keep don't-ing-under. For a long time. No falling knife, rather a teacup sinking in the Florida swamp.
If had a dollar for every time somebody called “black Monday” in the weekend thread, I’d probably no longer be on this thread
Look at Oracle up 30% since layoffs
Do you have any idea the physical and mental toll that hormuz has on a man
I'd bet Qeshm island Bandar Abbas with nearby uranium mine first.
Yes, all the 3 Intel agencies use them. PLUS they deal with corporations to improve supply chains, operations, production. PLUS used in the Healthcare field for disease tracking, resource planning
It was never open. This is just more 🥭 pump and dump. That idiot spews crap out of his mouth like he knows what’s really happening. I think everyone in the market knows he’s absolutely lying and he knows nothing, but his lying tweets provide an impetuous for market gains, and investors shrug and make money.
Just had some squirrel on a stick
Stop exaggerating
Well good thing I have some dry powder
Praise be to Allah on Easter lead to a double digit rally so calls(to prayer?)
Mark Suckaturd needing mo moneys
I'm contributing minimum few comments when my puts expire worthless
I also bought bmnr calls on Friday. You're just a little gay and less bullish with your shares
In todays time this is good news. Stock will probably go up.
What are you smoking?
How dare you. Did you not get the memo? Panic and sell! \n\nFor real tho this is a pretty decently nuanced view.
Meanwhile : lets make war thousands of kms away.\n\nIt still amazes me that no political action have been taken to stop these layoffs while they make billions in net benefice
Blow up some ships? I’m reading that they attacked with two gun boats, no injuries and minimal damage
https://preview.redd.it/3xrdkjhh3yvg1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bcfbbb5408d33c9f5966a1f2d040ffe640b1a837
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*spins rat on a stick over fire*
So calls?
how many "omg market is soooo rigged" posts are we gonna have when monday is green? im thinking thousands tbh.
Save me Barak Ravid and Axios
Lol
BLACK MONDAY INCOMING......
Had pistache, strawberry and mint ice cream, thanks for your earlier recommendations
Yea, without AI
Now I think Iran is manipulating the stocks too
Won’t matter. Market already rallied and isn’t ready for another drop so soon.
Bridge day incoming
WSB on a Saturday morning is like huddling around a trash can fire under a bridge in the dead of winter.\n\nI love it.
Tom Lee says the top is 7300, so there’s a teeny bit left
food prices are going to be longer term shitshow.
Went on a work trip and the wifi and data was slow AF. Did not look at the market or this much. 5/5 would recommend to a friend. Had the chance to reflect and confirm that this is indeed a platonic Grindr. 99 out of 100 comments are wrong in either direction or reason, but it doesn’t matter because the market moves based on rigged shit nothing else. But every 1 comes here day by day to cosplay educated investors and meat therr potential huzz. When I start seeing tech and finance bros looking stressd irl ill go back to trading. Real casino is more fun, same likelihood of winning, and free drinks. NGL probably a higher chance to win there.
I turned 70,000 into -500😳
Me with like 100 stocks..
Ofc as soon as I bought calls, they decide to dip this market. Monday will hurt very much for me 🙁
Of course it happens on the weekend
it's more of an area thing. In the northeast US it's relatively common. My parents always had one and there are plenty of heating oil companies around. My house is like 70 years old. I considered switching to a different fuel type but the costs were similar. I also don't have a gas line from the road so I'd still need to order deliveries either way. The new system is running perfectly so I don't have any complaints.
Societal collapse priced in
I. Can. Not. Under. Stand.
it would be funny if south africa closed the cape of good hope because they wanted to get in that Trade / Freight toll business that Panama and Iran are in.
Monday will dump HARD.
THE WAR WILL RESUME IN 3 DAYS.\n\n\nGET READY BOYS.
https://preview.redd.it/sxk0ongw2yvg1.jpeg?width=1236&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=41c5f8ddb9309d102e08e0ab39510d13fa697497
Sold NVDA, bought CVX.
https://preview.redd.it/5xqt9dvp2yvg1.jpeg?width=532&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=933c8c3ee4060627a23070aaadcae0e08bb4fdf7\n\nInvestor Profile
Orange man thinks suddenly changing terms or negotiating under threat is how business is done. \n\nIran opening the strait was obviously a step to be followed by US removal of the blockage. US just changed terms halfway through. \n\nHow did this man even get here in the first place? He is behaving like a Redditor who became president overnight.
https://preview.redd.it/mf0oiqku2yvg1.jpeg?width=1169&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb83ed33600651744fd0992e72479df5853be2d5
Volatility will be high next week too. Can make it back.
$218k usd
Orange Man tomorrow: We’ve reached a temporary deal to re-open the Strait of Hummus
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Nah he gonna do that thing the indigenous people in New Zealand do where they’re all like hakkka wakka waaa or whatever.
Yup, and they don't give a shit about the debt or inflation because it just inflates the prices of the assets they already own. Cash/savings is for us poors.
No. Military doesn’t need people anymore. It needs drones! $ONDS
Maybe it’ll continue to go up, but what if inflation overtakes the market gains? Imagine the biggest holder of US bonds would also happen to be the nation most dependent on an open strait and they suddenly go all pearl harboury again if the US won’t stop being delulu
Believe it or not market is green Monday (I just got out of my hot tub Time Machine)
I blew like 5k on puts… might not seem much but it could’ve been like 200k on calls. Worst part is I’m not even a bear 🐻
Iranian navy broadcasts message declaring Strait of Hormuz shut again\n\nMerchant vessels have received a radio message from the Iranian navy declaring the Strait of Hormuz shut again, with no ships allowed to pass through, shipping sources say.
Can’t wait until the Strait of Malacca is all anyone ever talks about\nand by then I’ll be old and wise enough to whisper “Remember Hormuz?”
I still have an alpine Pullout cassette deck with the Ice buttons in my 89 BMW 325ix
I did
How does this affect at open ?
the fuck you're talking about?
WSB treating geopolitics like a light switch flip it up, oil moon; flip it down, portfolio goes dark.
Another school shooting at doggie daycare 🙁
Is Jim Carrey on the list? I’ve never seen any of his movies, but all the memes of him from his movies are pretty wild. Especially the one where he’s a baby sucking the tatas down bare mouth.
The world is changing. The US is still a super power shielded by the oceans and free to exploit Latin America based on the past year. \n\nAssad, maduro, khomeini and soon Cuba will all be toppled and there will be the push for Greenland again over the next 3 years. \n
Oman, that’s not good
https://preview.redd.it/0g9fkonh2yvg1.jpeg?width=1002&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=98b292840645fd46d35ddc4c315efbba6757c9a7\n\n
Weekend futures not even down 1% but bears are celebrating
Aren't those the same product?
Good thing my USO credit spreads are still open
Are they really a surveillance company? genuinely asking, I don’t have a position currently, just trying to learn
When did i add BE to my watchlist and think about buying it? $18ish\n\nWhen did i buy it? Never\n\nPrice now? 200+ 🤡
bro they've been around for decades
I bought
According to recent data from the USA Energy Information Administration (EIA), developers plan to add roughly 43.4 GW of new utility-scale solar capacity in 2026. If realized, this would be a 60% increase over 2025.
This is a very OPENminded question sir 🥸
Godaddy doesn't pay registration fees
DCA song and dance.
Just throw a shoe. They hate that for some reason.
Prolly cuz that’s too heavily weighted in just equities and should include some precious metals to hedge the dollar’s devaluation, and possibly productive real estate and a small bond allocation.
Soo who had calls friday and switch to puts before the weekend? (I know i did!!)
Look at live tracks, they are being turned back
https://preview.redd.it/a408r4o42yvg1.jpeg?width=1888&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b19e8a2326b807c5b59fc370a5a9a0671bdfbec
Monkey is just glad to have its money back…
> Americans have agreed to a ceasefire in Lebanon\n\n"Open the Strait!"\n\n> But the American's are still blockading us.\n\n\n"Close the Strait!"\n\n>How will we sell tolls to ships if the Strait is closed?\n\n"Open the Strait a little!"
Idk if that's quite "inversing", but whatever it does, it will be to spite me
👌
How does this affect OPEN?
These damn AI birds in the morning. Sqwak squak, fuk u.
What does this mean for Trump’s legacy?
SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP
Pet suicides rise 50%
[ Removed by Reddit ]
A surveillance company with government contracts. You're acting like both sides aren't going to use this company.
Right here in this thread a dude admitted to being a larper.
I agree. I’ve come to the conclusion the market is not forward looking. The market is not a thinking being. The market is the consensus of all investors. Most investors are in the greed cycle in the market with absolutely no thought to the future. Fundamentals will eventually prevail, and then we see a precipitous market drop. But for the short term, it’s a bullish (if absolutely unhinged) market. Make money.
Didn’t the state literally buy parts of American tech companies in this administration LMAO
Mango and Bassent have to stall the pump so they can buy up the scared retail on the cheap
Bear is now hibernating
Mango on some random fucking interview: “I’ve been screaming at Iranians all day” 😂😂😩
She wanted your tip in her bussy. You missed your one and only chance of getting laid
That looks like Jim Carey blowing a load in a ground beef vjayjay
That’s interesting, thanks for linking it. To me it doesn’t seem like it’s adding much additional risk to the system or would be much of a catalyst to move the market, though. Using diversified blue chip stocks as collateral is pretty common elsewhere. I’m actually kinda surprised it wouldn’t have been possible already in these cases tbh
Invest 150k now and throw away the keys. Promise you if you start losing the other 50 you’ll be tempted to take it all out and win it back
u/Cool_Business_5396: The definition of 'communism' is 'stuff I don't like.' \n\nSource: trust me, bro.\n\n
inshallah JPow shall send us to mars
Just average down bro.
It's the perfect tool for mango to pump and dump the market for his friends
Marge be calling them, Marge’n that is.
But the strait is closed!!!! Limit down! Please! lol
You're acting like the market makes sense and will go down, you haven't learned
ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS OPEN THE DAMN STRAIT CJ!!!
I just beared harder. Vxx,Smh short Friday premarket. Diamond Bear paws.
Yeah well I wouldnt be sure of that but they should anyway
https://preview.redd.it/dgwysy8l1yvg1.jpeg?width=775&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3e4d4a13ee6bdfc01b0af47f2379cefb781775f7
OilOil prices got more mood swings than my ex one flick of that switch and portfolios start crying.
Which means it will inverse you and pump
The best part about communism would be putting people like you in gulags
Marine Track shows MASSIVE traffic through the strait \n\nIran claims it is closed now \n\nOne of them is lying guys. Help me find out who.
Everyone is thinking amd gpu or someone like googles stuff will break the nvdia monopoly and cause their fat margins to go down.\n\nProbably why the stock hasnt really gone anywhere for so long.
Iran is doing the rug pull of the century. Announcing an open strait on Friday, enough time to market close for all the regards to get in, and not even half a day later close it again and blow up some ships to underline that you are no 🌮 to create an inflated crash with a higher chance to bring this whole clown parade down\n\nCalls on Persian carpet rugs
At what point is this all a simulation? \n\nI have never lived through such idiotic times and I served in the military under Dubya.\n\nWhat fresh insanity is this?\n\nThese actions, policies, insane outbursts are destroying ties built over a century. \n\nHow the fuck is anyone bullish? \n\nIs it the Zorg theory of chaos? “Look at all these things, so busy now!”\n\n
it would be funny if the next FOMC conference was JPOW reciting the shahada before saying "we will drop interest rates to 0%" and "US will become a new frontier for the hawala and islamic finance system"\n\n
Christ almighty, take it easy will ya?
I woke up much earlier than usual just now and had a dream for the first time in a while. I was inhabiting the body of a government worker and handed a note that said sell everything by Trump.\n\nThis is financial advice /s\n\nWild that strait is officially closed now though. Shits obviously being manipulated…
Absolutely
Before war oil: $60/bl - Diesel $3.79\n\nWar oil: $100/bl - Diesel $6.29\n\nOnce war is finally over oil: $60/bl - Diesel $6.09 \n\nFuck you oil companies.
Sure it can
Yeah i saw in the news in the UK, 2 vessels were fired upon.
1 less ship= 1 less supply. Bullish.
Starting to learn, huh
Silly bears, quit trying to make the strait matter
Bulls don’t want the strait to actually open. If it actually opens then you can’t pump the market with “straits open on god no cap fr fr this time” headlines.
Yeah ofc because it was YOU who invested, and you had to ruin it to everyone else...smh.
woke: Palantir is unethical (knows nothing about the business, worldview shaped by a literary canon of YA dystopian novels)\n\nKarp: short-selling PLTR is unethical (while selling his own shares)\n\nBurry: The stock is clearly overvalued (also seems to know nothing about the business)\n\ntech bro: It’s so scientific you guys (obvious emotional attachment to the stock)
This can’t be real lol. The pattern continues. You think they’d change up the rhythm to throw people off
Why don’t you do 30 SPX instead of 300 SPY? Each SPX = 10 SPY and has better tax treatment.
Don't worry it'll go up again on Monday as planned
Really appreciate you including rockets in your valid observation on how the market will not give single \*\*\*\* about this\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/vh6thho01yvg1.jpeg?width=1155&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=32399041a0e013b75d88c95f8dec155e96a5b6a5
Gainium lol
Believe it or not, calls
Yeah you’re absolutely right because as soon as I would have saw 50k I would have sold like you have to be completely disconnected from reality to hold past 100k,200k,300k then 400 99% of people would fold everytime
Get out of the house. Enjoy the sun. Or the rain. These might be the last few moments you get before another fever dream of a weak keeps you in constant alarm.
Thanks I am in the right place. When did this place become so woke
Bols shitting, crying, freaking out, throwing up, panicking, and calling Marge
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You added to the AI line going up with this post. Fight the good fight, sir. Need those green squares.
It's symbolic, bull is so stacked he czn afford two doctors
cant make ts up
I hope you guys are ready for the summer's gas prices.
Can I have like 6k tho so I can move on with my disaster of a trading career and experience peace again?
SPY 800 when the strait is open for 10 minutes next week
The year is 2036\n\nTransgender pets are now a thing
The average bull spent a week making bank every single day by randomly buying calls and added phat stacks of cash to their ports; a Monday dump giving them the chance to use the cash to buy stuff below all time high isn't exactly the W that bers may think it is.\n\n
Let's drop again, I kinda fucked up on this recovery and would like a do-over
is the current closing of the reopening of the closing of the reopened closed strait already priced in?
Isthestraitopen\n\nWould be the most updated website ever
Wasn’t there like $6.6 billion in moves out of SPY?
I did that two weeks ago. Lost 2k$ in one weekend.
Up 5% down 0.1% Up 5% down 0.1% Up 5% down 0.1% Up 5% down 0.1% \n\nWe will keep doing it as long as it keeps printing
Be sure to put the 12 dollars aside for the taxes
All I need is a quick gap down to get out of these fckn covered calls I sold early last week.
Bulls r fukked, on Friday I finally capitulated on betting it would drop
Nonono, please pay attention. The opening will always be an up day. The closing is priced in with maybe minor selling to hedge. Prove? \*points in the general direction of the market\*
If we go to war and AI keeps taking jobs, and life being too expensive.. all we will have left to do is go to war. It will drive the economy and will create jobs because the military will need people, and after the war is finished there will be whole bunch of new job openings from the reservists who don't come home.
Sold my 75 oxy calls a bit early it seems…. Did buy $3500 worth of SPY puts expiring Tuesday to hedge
Banks, funds and others knew the strait hasn’t been open this whole time and have been letting it melt up lol
They just blew up another tanker, and I’m not talking about your ass behind some Wendy’s
15$/gal diesel monday morning. Gotta love it.
Nasdaq on Longest Win Streak Since 1992 and bear talking.
Lol, wrongest thing I've seen
underrated comment.
Half the market is crooked pharmaceutical companies that bankrupt Americans with overpriced healthcare products, defense companies that profit from killing people in increasingly fucked up ways, and oil companies that lobby the invasion of foreign countries and wreck the environment for tiny marginal increases in profit. But yeah, people who just believe some stocks are overvalued are terrorists… okay
https://preview.redd.it/7a4kwc190yvg1.jpeg?width=332&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d2e62bd6026a2d351993bff07f50d858b26204d
Believe it or not, calls. Or at least sp futures dropping pre-market but starts to regain territory when market opens.
The whole rally from last week was predicated on Trump literally making things up to pump the markets, so there’s also that.
lol 😂
https://preview.redd.it/vc488m160yvg1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=f17b999557815518a6c0694d48f4ebdc06fe2a2f\n\n
Say about Iran what you will, but allah damn if they don’t follow through on their words, word
Bears ultimately win.\n\n
Puts and shorts printing on monday.
Do you know what subreddit you're on?
Jokes on you. \n\nThe Iranians are saying that 🍊 is lying and as of three hours ago they reimposed the restrictions
Talk about aging badly, Iran has already fired on two vessels.
I was reliably informed by stocks going up that this couldn’t happen, what the hell
Ok bulls you had your fun, now its time for my vix calls to print. Ath’s means lots of room to fall monday. Better take your profits and flee.
I want to say "black monday, big red doom candle" but the market would inverse me if I said such a thing
Oops he lied and moved the markets. Won't happen again, pinky promise.
Bears have too much PTSD from last week to gloat this weekend LMAO
Monday is retail liquidation day, TACO Tuesday's to screw us on the other side as well.
We did the same thing except I made 1.1k only
It’s all priced in.
Aged well.
Who wears wool to a strip club
That’s not a gay bear in the pic, it should be rainbow colored 🌈
Why would you walk fast
That's what I keep thinking. \n\nI have compared it to The Guardian and BBC, and I feel that the Al Jazeera live news is more comprehensive, less fluff, and a lot of just straight forward facts. It is primarily funded by Qatar (the government), so always need to consider that, but the reporters have serious chops (even the ones in DC).
Should be renamed Schrodinger's Strait
Fack
I am starting to believe the way one tweet can influence the market, that Iranians shorted oil on Friday with their announcement , then switched to puts.
Boutta book myself a solo flight to the beaches cus fuck where this shit is going lmao. Gonna be unaffordable as fuck.
Fair response
OP gonna turn off his phone, forget this shit, and let it expire worthless by end of Monday
Al Jazeera has been a credible and reliable source of journalism for decades, this is nothing new
I will be messaging you in 2 days on [**2026-04-20 12:24:12 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2026-04-20%2012:24:12%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/1soqqw8/first_time_ber/ogvwijg/?context=3)\n\n[**2 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fwallstreetbets%2Fcomments%2F1soqqw8%2Ffirst_time_ber%2Fogvwijg%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202026-04-20%2012%3A24%3A12%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.\n\n^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%201soqqw8)\n\n*****\n\n|[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)|\n|-|-|-|-|
Another chance to buy
Food.
the MMs fear the day bol and ber unite to profit however we must. Amen
I genuinely don’t understand how many times he’s going to keep doing this man
https://preview.redd.it/bmlrnmgdzxvg1.jpeg?width=1178&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c10be04add64013506b5f0acf194a56c93476c3
Remind me! 2 days
Ur a retard
10% dump then 30% pump
Monday morning: “deal talks are going well. They have agreed to open the strait.” All bullshit of course. Doesn’t matter. Stocks up.
720 Eow
Could have made around $80k - $100k relatively risk free since Nov 20 to mid Feb, but didn't account for 🥭
Was at a cafe yesterday and the sign said "tips appreciated", so I paid and I gave her the tip to put 90% in an index ETF such as VWRA and the remaining 10% in a Mag7 position, preferably during dips\n\nShe didn't appreciate it and she didn't even wish me a good day, wtf? She must have been a ber...
It's open, it's closed, it's yes and it's no, it's in and it's out.\n\nThank you for your attention to this matter.
🎶🎵Makin' my way downtown\nWalkin' fast, faces pass and I'm homebound🎵🎶
Inspect element
This usage of AI does make me happy, but why did you put that doctor in the background?
"cOmMuNiSm"
Beekend Ballstreet
Nah. The retirement behemoths just cannot go under, so the only way is up.
Even with boots on the ground, calls are gonna print. The market is so irrational that it's basically free money.
They closed it again.
Calls it is.
Bers have such severe PTSD that they are afraid to post anything bearish
It’s so fucking obvious Iran is now in on the market manipulation.\n\nWhen 🥭 said he was going into business with them, he wasn’t referring to the tolls.
They priced in the reopening, after the closure that happened, once it reopened after the war was over, which had closed it again, after a reopening since the war started and it was closed, after originally being open.
Even by the loftily regarded WSB standards there's a lot of 'signs of a top' content being produced lately.
thanks!
Well bro tbh I think you can make this back that’s the best way to cope
thanks!
Just a little excursion down
Found the Billionaire
Bulls by 1,000. Bears by 'See you in the tax loss harvesting thread'.
#Ban Bet Lost\n\n/u/APOLARCAT made a bet that SPY would go to 800.0 within **1 day** when it was 704.544 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.\n\nTheir record is now 0 wins and 8 losses\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
Going to do monarch like that
Yuppp.
What a time. Reading AL Jazeera to get the truth instead of propaganda.
Easter comes twice this year it seems, bears resurrecting, hungry
Conservation status-Extinct lol
Hormuz is closed again so monday will be not an easy prediction. I suggest to wait for taco tuesday
He'll just say it's still open. One tweet. The accuracy of it is mostly irrelevant.
Pump and dump scheme
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Art of the deal\n
isn’t the strait closed again
It's beartrap
It's dick in, dick out situation.
Honestly the closing of the strait is so expected I'm betting the reopening is already getting priced in
This guy regards…
All trade is taking money from someone else unless you are primary industry
It's clopen!
Riding my dad 401k to Valhalla but love meme shit posting here for fun
Not especially with SpaceX and Anduril on their way to becoming IPOs.
Retrace to 700 then 750 all before Friday
Greed is so much larger than fear. Real fear would be the bottom of liberation day at a minimum.
Bear insults on Reddit, PUTS🐻
Notice how shenanigans at the strait only happen on the weekend. Everything miraculously gets worked out by Monday 😂🤌🤌🤌🤌
My oil calls might be saved
As always, this was already priced in
the markets already bottomed out its up from here
And people thought this bull run was natural bought in calls and all that just to fuel my puts
Bagholder spotted.\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo baby shark 🎶 🎶 🎶
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Capable of what?
Believe it or not, boolish.
Congrats to any bull realizing the profit before we go back to liberation day lows.
The game is easy, it's always calls after the weekend and puts before the weekend.\n\nNever saw in history a clear market manipulation like this, it's your fault if you don't make money these times.
FSLR. Despite facing macro challenges and headwinds, utility-scale solar and onshore wind remain the most cost-effective forms of new-build energy generation on an unsubsidized basis (i.e., without tax subsidies).
spy 600 before 800
It was nice of Iran to wait until the weekend to play this card. F your puts. And if you bought calls for next week, F your calls.
Trump said we may have to drop bombs again. Open the fuckin Futes you crazy bastards!
Damn
Markets gonna shit themselves Monday you good dawg
Allbears
Depends on what you mean by closed. Compared to bear ass, sure, the strait is basically air tight
All I’m asking is for a subtle gap down of 6%
Sure
I don't like it when people pretend to sing in chat by posting lyrics
A straight at a Diddy party has stayed open longer than whoremooz
Its a fact of life. When one blockade opens, another closes.
lol of course that’s every single day in the stock market bro
K keep buying XOM calls then
Legal\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/vu1lgt1jxxvg1.jpeg?width=976&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=66affc9f2d2c6e551c3ef58c37b20d230735f80c
This is a paradigm in the matrix I haven’t given thought to, both ber and bol may be flawed
And somehow the next time the market will go up again.
That is what I am telling. DJT just needs to keep closing and opening the straight, market never performed better ! To infinity and beyond !
https://preview.redd.it/54k87d9fxxvg1.jpeg?width=447&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff8a6f255adfb5176b1e7f1019bb8556cc270dd9
There are millions of us on here. It's only natural that the biggest winners rise to the top. Don't lose your house chasing Mr Jones!
It’s the weekend’s cycle of grifting. Insiders sold yesterday and somehow will buy at the right time Tuesday.
🐻 bearrorising the weekend thread whilst bulls out joyriding their lambos\n\nIt’s hard being a bear 😢
Trump will tweet something Sunday night and the market will hit a new ATH everyday this week
Call on QBTS
Why don’t you give me your money 💰… at least I’d say thank you.
So what if I didn’t take profits before weekend? Line only go up and to the right haha I’m not scared haha 🥺
🌽 recovering, the euphoria didn’t last long for bers
The market doesn't move on things YOU think are credible. The market has moved on from the war induced oil shock. You should too. Otherwise people are just living in denial, clinging on to whatever "theories" they have. The market encapsulates the collective intelligence of all the insiders and institutions who have much better knowledge/news sources than you and I.
nah i just spent 2 days binge watching invincible. way better than this shit, might actually pick up the comic and finish
Yeah im aware they closed the straight again. Doesn't mean shit wont change and flip flop yet again. Just means more opportunities to keep playing the rises and falls.
This is what the people came to see, well done ya filthy degenerate 🫡
Hello, my future wife...
STRAIT CLOSED, ISRAEL FIRING AGAIN, REGULAR SATURDAY
Wouldn't it be funny if Iran made an announcement renaming it the Straight of Iran?\n\n\nI have puts out and am rooting for the world to burn. Capitalism baybeh!
Well this is a Gay bear.\nNot extinct yet ?
You know your life is pathetic when you are scrolling the WSB sub on early Saturday morning.
thank you mr trump
https://preview.redd.it/aor5ods3xxvg1.jpeg?width=1419&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f7ffb616bfe8c75c4ca151cb0412655298fe018c\n\n
Feeling cute with my puts right now
🌽 only down -1%? pathetic
Are you me
Bro thinks we’re getting married
+
How crazy if the IRGC bought puts and decided to attack over the weekend
https://www.sec.gov/files/rules/other/2026/34-105108.pdf\n\nJenga blocks on top instead of bottom = good = reality\n\n(Note the date)
So, we're back to monitoring the situation
*... we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, unless SPY drops like 8 bps ofc then we'll probably surrender tbh*
I hope you’re selling OTM covered calls on that for extra premium goodness.
I guess micropullback on Sunday evening and then rebound before market open\n\n(Secretly I'm bear)
https://preview.redd.it/5n5nkvwywxvg1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00cbe4b1d8c60c88f4a70d3aa9690b688a5edc3e
art of the steal
well that's aged poorly
Thanks, yes understand the analysis is meaningless because it’s more backdating than actual trading, but still holds value to me as I keep reading about how people buy at open and sell at close, but I always wondered about how they’re making money if at open prices already reflect pre-market. I thought maybe somehow people were able to trade before market opening. \n\nFrom what you’re saying, it’s basically because the markets have been running wild even if you bought at open, at the elevated prices, markets had enough upward movement you still made money.
I lost 250e so there's that
Right? I mean if we just ignore oul instability and a deranged adult baby with missiles we can all just relax.\n\n🤡
Since so much of this is algorithmic trading anyway, I just don't think the computers are smart enough to realize how fn stupid humans are
The Strait is now in a quantum superposition, bullish.
The longer you stay single the longer they fuck your future wife. Brutal.
FIFA Peace Award winner working his magic.
Be prepared for TACO Tuesday
This is why I have started to raise cash. Yesterday was such an amazing exit point.
[man, I love internet](https://x.com/futuresailor_ai/status/2045307315667239199?s=46)s=46
Bullish!
Actual cnbc headline: Trump says U.S. has ‘good news’ on Iran as Tehran says the Strait of Hormuz is closed again
When’s that SpaceX IPO we gotta get that on one of the composites. Gotta keep this rocket blasting off on musk
Arent bols the ones hoping more missiles and bombs get used so Lockheed and rtx stonks go up?
520
He absolutely is. Hes been right every time
who tf wears wool trousers, are you an upstate New York constable from 1799?
What you say justifies action from their end. They'll go in martyr on the Strait if they're dying financially as you say.\n\nAssuming (and I assume so) they won't hand out their uranium like Bibi wants.
Sorry, ice cream
Thank you bulls. Puts printing
Pooping and scrolling
It was "open" but then like at 3PM it was clarified it was open with a tax, which the US has said previously this would result in a mega-nut-tap. \n\nI recommend reading Al Jazeera. They have amazing live updates that basically said "yeah, nah" whereas the American news outlets were pumping the story that everything is fine and oil was going to come down to $0.
What a shit show.
That's fuck'd up man I hate these scaming bastards 😤
No he feels pizza and grape juice
What’s everyone doing with Nike??? It tanked 15 year low
Make sure to cash in some of your gains on Monday morning pre-market
https://preview.redd.it/mxcml9fjwxvg1.png?width=318&format=png&auto=webp&s=25311c4ab105619f046206c39427652e4a5eada5\n\nRED LIGHT!
OPEN THE CASINO
Just buy calls...doesn't matter what happens. Calls are the play.
the waters are really calm because when you observe the strait you collapse its wave function
Power plant and bridge day back on the agenda
no google is, you clicked allow
Any comment that dismissed the first people to run out of oil and thinking it doesnt have long term impacts is worse.
“GE Vernova remains a key beneficiary of data center power demand, and Cramer said investors are buying it for years to come.”\n\n“Procter & Gamble reports, with Cramer viewing the stock at the cheapest level shares have been in years”\n\n*Disclosure: Cramer’s Charitable Trust, the portfolio used by the CNBC Investing Club, owns shares of Boeing, GE Vernova, and Procter & Gamble.*\n\nit’s all a fugaazi 🗿\n
Until they read it he is both banned and unbanned
Why haven’t bers been designated as foreign and domestic terrorists?
Literally this. Iran and US are finalizing negotiations, and the end of the conflict is expected. The posturing by each side in Hormuz is to try improving their negotiating position. \n\n\nThere needs to be a material escalation for this to shake the markets.
Bears just observe what affects the market, bols cheers on their calls for weapons companies wishing nothing but more death and destruction so their calls print.\n\n\nSee anyone can just make claims about "others".\n\n\nWe all just trying to make money mang
Joke or retard? Both?
Covered call hombre. Not unlimited loss.
Bears love the weekend thread because it’s the only time their doomer shit isn’t instantly slapped down by the market reality
You’re using that word, but I do not think it means what you think it means…
It will open Tuesday. Just in time for TACO
I ma normally buyng calls on a weekly bases and this one week I go so damn busy at work. Qqq literally had was a 5x play every day
So is China going to give ICE our info, cuz we talk shit?
Bad news: wait 6 hours and buy \nGood news: wait 6 hours and sell
Please enlighten me into your definition of “communism”
Hoping for 69
That’s the same thing I would tell myself when I get out of trade early is that would’ve been great but I know my ass would’ve sold it $1000 easily
https://preview.redd.it/rmnc6uufwxvg1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=443e29c8b8ebbbcb9caa233d906fdc9080cb89b3\n\nYou forced me to create AI slop. I hope you are happy.
Been bumming chalk off my gym buddies. But i think that charity has come to a close\n\nGotta buy my own. Not sure if I can financially recover from this. 😔
"yoghurt stains"
Heard this the last 2 weekends and look how it turned out.\n\n\nSPY 720 next week.
Seeing Zelenskyy join in on the obvious US led bullying on Iran kind of surprised me
Try opening an international child trafficking ring, I hear they pay well and you rarely face consequences
Oh look, - 0.05% on monday\n\nCan't wait for the mandatory TACO Tuesday announcement
Well, they are obviously testing it. But they lose 3 % of their GDP per month. And 90 % of their state revenue. Somehow it feels the IRGC aren´t the brightest strategists. The next time any deal is made the US should insist that the IRGC comander publicly announces it.\n\nBut it sure looks there´s gonna be some volatility next week. Especially when the cease fire runs out.
Keep telling myself profit is profit, but the market was on easy mode these last two weeks. Hopefully I can snowball the gains from here by continuing with cautious optimism.
Why are yoghurt stains so difficult to wash out of wool trousers?
India moving navy ships as part of "observatory role in blockade" in response to tankers bearing its flag being shot at in the Strait
Tom Cruise!
My bad …
https://www.nbcnews.com/world/iran/live-blog/live-updates-iran-says-strait-hormuz-reverted-strict-control-blames-us-rcna340767
I got a bunch of 6900 puts. I want to see a big fat red Monday.
It won't be okay.\n\nBut people deserve the coming pain anyways.
I'm not sure why it cared in the first place. Mag 7 is trading at like a 25+ PE. (Don't get me started on Tesla)\n\n\nI don't think that whether the straight opens next week or next month will have a dramatic impact on the next 25 years of META. \n\n\nI agree with your general sentiment though lol
Theres definitely going to be a crash. But ill be the one working at Wendy's.
If the opposite of Trumpism is Communism... then we are all communists 😂
Just in time for a nice little pull back and more calls. The most unethical run I’ve had yet. No proud, but the kids gotta eat
320
Amount of menes we have got. Trump is really funny and loves the stock market.
Glad I bought my poots 🐻
Man, I want whatever copium you're smoking bro. That shit is making you so high 😂
As a crypto investor, unless you want to become unemployed from your Wendys job, you shouldn't come to us.
Nobody here is trading the year
your bull god started this war by blowing up a school
Didn’t he call in to the news channels to tell them that he negotiated a deal all on American terms, etc? Dude was pumping it hard.
Tesla 420 next week
The Strait is open and closed simultaneously. \n\nThe Schrodingers Strait...
yep and almost every ship set anchor right before. ffs man
Straddle season
Next updates gonna be a video of 🥭 in a jetski crossing the Strait being like , it's open. M00rkit up 5%
This is a reminder that bears wish good, hardworking people nothing but ill will. \n\nThey are literal economic terrorists. \n
In what measurable way? Not vibes.
The fuck am I doing with 1-2% gains when I see regards pulling 1000%+ - the fomo is real
😁
Strait being closed is actually bullish
If you havent sold on friday you belong to a special daycare
We bought calls captain. Everything was fine. We were wrong
Yeah, it's 100% not gonna last. The question is just how long does it stay up. Massive economic damage has already been done and we don't know the war is even close to over yet. Negotiations typically take months and years and not weeks or days. I'm shocked at all that anyone in the world listens to a word coming out of our gov. But everyone is looking at the covid drop them nonstop pump and the tariff drop and nonstop pump and expecting the same. I can't say I blame them and if you timed the 10% correction right you struck it rich, but I guess I long for days where it was investing and not just speculative bullshit no different from sports betting. Shorts are different than puts. I've been short a position that I had to hold for a year but finally made money. If you are wrong on puts, youre time boxed which is completely different
When you negotiate with those that cry wolf eventually the wolf shows up. Next week will go up or down.
50k?!? Take like 180/190knour. You showed yourself you don’t need a lot to make s lord save like 180/190 and play with 10/20
Rather than 24/7, we need markets to be open on weekends just normal hours + weekends
my gas guy is like ooop instead of 6.00 it will be 5.99
This market is total BS. Monday morning at 7 am, que the tweet "we've had productive talks with Iranians and they'll agree to talk"
You do know the meaning of the term 'decimated' don't you?
Aye comrade. I am sure you would be happy with communism
I thought Bers were extinct?
Yeah next week will be exactly the same
Quantum AI-powered shoes. If this doesn’t make you superman, I don’t know what will.
All those calls are cooked Iran closed the straight
market won't give a f*ck, it's bull , it's going up anyway like a twelve stage rocket.
Bulls' fake ceasefires are priced in, time to turn bear
Michael Burry responded to my craigslist ad looking for someone to mow my lawn. "$30 is $30", he said as he continued to mow what was clearly the wrong yard. My neighbor and I shouted at him but he was already wearing muffs. Focused dude. He attached a phone mount onto the handle of his push mower. I was able to sneak a peek and he was browsing Zillow listings in central Wyoming. He wouldn't stop cackling.\n\nThat is to say, Burry has his fingers in a lot of pies. He makes sure his name is in all the conversations.\n\n*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
1% control the market. Michael Burry can be 100% right and yet 100% wrong. The days of the big short are over, if something like GFC happens again then Fed will print a trillion dollars overnight.
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When market open??? Open casino NOW\nthank you for your attention to this matter DJT\n
Reports of a missile hitting your asshole in the SoH
a shoe company pivoted to AI is peak bubble territory, anyday now.
Literally ATHs rn. Feels like half the people who post here are not market participants
Special type of regarded
But they are trading futures and will buy the dip so there won’t be a dip
yeah i feel sick to my stomach that i didn't take on more risk and could have made life changing money in just 3-4 days. Like literally. I'm not making that mistake next week - I'd rather the discomfort of losing than missing out on runners again if we have another soap-opera, drama-rama with the strait.
Me and you both. It was too good to be true and I couldn't see anywhere direct from Iran that it had resumed normally
Always on a Friday/monday
Something tells me next Friday it'll be open for a bit.. then closed by EOD.
Crabbie patties in bikini bottom are experiencing a severe supply shock.
Not at all
Great snack when you're hungry.
No, I would recommend you Trump Coin 2.0 launching next week with a super great yield. Trust me bro
😂
Going to need a lot of tweets Monday to keep this rally going 😬
And by compounding daily, if one day closes red or below the strike the 62 bagger would go to 0. \n\nIt works until it doesn’t then your account blows up.
I will be messaging you in 8 months on [**2026-12-18 11:59:40 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2026-12-18%2011:59:40%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/1sobrc8/weekend_discussion_thread_for_the_weekend_of/ogvstj7/?context=3)\n\n[**CLICK THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fwallstreetbets%2Fcomments%2F1sobrc8%2Fweekend_discussion_thread_for_the_weekend_of%2Fogvstj7%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202026-12-18%2011%3A59%3A40%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.\n\n^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%201sobrc8)\n\n*****\n\n|[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)|\n|-|-|-|-|
Ready to buy the dip with the last penny that I have in my account. YOLO.
The ship, Raffles Prosperity also u-turned in the area of the attacks.
You timing the market in cash is really impressive, got a lot of balls
This is America \nWe can lose all our money if we want to\nIt’s called freedom!
Gravity always brings the portfolio back down eventually.
Found the quote date did the math. $198k
!remindme 8 months
Why are bols here, weekend is ours! \n\n
This. Have a feeling market will just ignore hormussy news
Oh shit, here we go again. Back at Grove street.
Open a bear call spread at $1000 then $$$
I'm just an idiot on the internet.. but maybe Iran saw the ATH close and was like oh hell nah\n\n\nIn all fairness I have 1 single put and wouldn't mind watching the world burn to make a few hundred bucks
Weekend puts are gonna print
Which make Iran look weak like they really shooting ak47 at ships like they Somali come on
https://preview.redd.it/pmvgmeatuxvg1.jpeg?width=452&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4aa05347bec2ab10e044d2ad02c15cda723c2f4c
Still better than the opposition.
Doesn't matter. Markets only go up.
We should be getting another "peace talks are progressing extremely well" tweet soon. Market on Monday: +3%
New deal: each day the strait will open just prior to trading hours and close just after extended trading. \n\nWe will do whatever we want on the weekends.
Iĺl take 10000 fartshitpisscumsneezecoins
Double closed
Who’s we? Are you taking to those mfers?
Oil down 10% translates to gas going down 1.3%.
Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Bears have been struggling
Dude this does NOT matter. Stop posting this shit. The only thing that matters is if missiles or bombs start up again. STOP POSTING THIS SHIT.
https://is-the-strait-of-hormuz-open.pages.dev/
So, calls?
Sold my full portfolio yesterday two hours before close \n\nProbably the best financial decision i have made in my entire life \n
How much did you lose with your puts since days ago?
😂😂😂
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1. Either based on an estimate of premarket pricing or market because fuck it \n\n2. Yes\n\n3. Yes\n\nI should really stress this “analysis” is completely tongue in cheek and absolutely meaningless. Just thought it was interesting to show how ridiculous this past week was in terms of green green green
I hope talks will keep progressing till the heat death of the universe
Yes it can’t keep going up
Possibly guilty by association, good point.
You're delusional
Avis can do 5 million ATM offering at any time doubt it will go that high.
> attacked\n\nHe said attacked, it is only confirmed that someone fired near them
We are at all time highs
Why are public toilets almost always covered in nutella?
Don't you question the journalism of iCarly ser
Check the ships tracking on vessel tracker.
Respect to those who can somehow trade this market, being 90% cash feels so liberating rn
look at the Fed balance sheet, they have been doing QE. By the time this war is over national debt will be 45 Trillions+\n\nthis is why stock always go up, money printer never stop.
[Marinetraffic.com](http://Marinetraffic.com) data seems to suggest it is true. A few hours ago there were plenty of ships, many crude carriers, and now amost none.
Welcome to metals
There will be an axios tweet at 645 ish EST that says "talks progressing!" and the mrket will go up.\n\nThis has happened every week so far.
Her Moose is closed
Not bearish enough, please fix it bers . I wanna see NVDA 220 next week
BTC to $120k EOY?
I felt the deal they were talking about was about manipulating stock market through strait. And the Iran regime members will be living under a new name after Israel “bombed” them to death.
So up 2% Monday morning
Good luck trying to pay me back on your $0 a year salary, babe
Understandable haha
The Strait was never open.
We will have a deal by tuesday night. \n\n\nThese headlines are barely news and they don't matter.
This is good news for America, didn’t you know?
He explored gravity to have a cheap excuse why the stock plummeted so hard
Have you heard of crypto?
Can not find this information. Do you have a link? Sorry to bother you
What made you sell intel? It was already at their lowest point near $20. With investment from the gov, Nvidia, and softbank there was no way it would've gone down.
https://preview.redd.it/ofqi85u7uxvg1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=90e3f351dab13380e4c622ab43b4b64286acb586
This is a repeat of last weekend when weekend dow was down more than 1% and the real market said nah.
https://preview.redd.it/3ydvgrw4uxvg1.png?width=324&format=png&auto=webp&s=5524b4f5d34e711e4c9a04d7d1eb7914d435cc60\n\nreddit owned by china who in turn is allies with iran
Sold my stocks yesterday because the rally was too good. Can’t wait to buy back in next week Tuesday ♥️
Going liquid appears to be the best decision atm
https://preview.redd.it/ty2knd85uxvg1.jpeg?width=1206&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46db83a960cb60be650c058b7e825e6f1498af39\n\nHere. I’ll post this again
This is true, but on the other side there is usually a very discontent CFO who can see the real cost for all this SaaS software and understands the savings of building in house. I know my organization has been talking for years about replacing custom with SaaS, but when the rubber hits the road nobody wants to sign the $8M/yr salesforce contract when our entire dev team and infra costs less than a quarter of that to support our custom solution, and the cost to build it has already been sunk.
Anyone who BOUGHT USO calls going to be dummy rich come Monday is what I'd say if there wasn't the great TACO, so SPY 720, or am I wrong, bols?
i was in disbelief
I thought taco was promised that the gay of hormuz will NEVER be closed again?
Market will open 0.5% down, something will get worked by the end of the ceasefire Tuesday and markets continue on another green week
https://preview.redd.it/dq093jc0uxvg1.jpeg?width=394&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eeda0dc6750ee4bf6265dfe32e5b9da5c3656b18
This indeed could be black Monday in the offing if the rhetoric from both sides intensifies. The fact that stocks have been on a running spree for the last two weeks consecutively doesn't help the bulls
I am him, he is me
Bers gonna have such a hard on for the gap down, but bol knows it will go straight to flat by open
Attack of kharg imminent.
You and I are meant to be together, Joey. Period. The end
So glad I bought puts at like 3:40 est
Then futes would be higher than the spot...
Anajahahahhahahahhahahahahahha
They don’t. Jerking themselves off
Shoulda bought chocolate futures 2 years ago. Would be up 100%
Looks like they forgot to take out a few regime members. No worries by Monday it'll all be fixed.
PRICED IN.
Impending crash means we can buy even more shares though
It’s cute how Iran says it’s closed the SOH “again”.
Wouldn't be a bubble if it weren't going up for no good reason
SPY 730 by eow next week. Calls
This is why you cash out before the weekend, has been the same every weekend since the Iran war started, when will people learn
You’re going to get destroyed
Exactly it’s a nothing burger now
BOLS !\n\nI can't wait to get my cock serviced next week by you, it's finally our turn, lets go bers
Got it, calls
Then it’s pretty official to me
Not 🥭 - all politicians since the invention of democracy
The art of the deal!
Sold everything leveraged, set stop losses for the weekend. Should really do it every market close while this is going on.
Market doesn't care anymore.\n\nAI AI AI, mass layoffs, everything's fine.
🐻 coming out in the weekends to talk about how bad the situation is without realising it doesn’t correlate to the market at all
I was just interviewing with them and they were explaining the origin.
Idk maybe it could be because the strait is still blocked afterall and tankers were just attacked by Iran once again
lol who didn't expect this.
Nothing burger 🍔
Stupid ber have very short term memory. Enjoy another weekend of celebration and a Monday morning liquidation.
https://preview.redd.it/w2zcl84ctxvg1.jpeg?width=225&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=abb7c7e92e40f477864155d4b77c1a054a1a589c
lol calls it is
Bruh idk why epilepsy is immediate disqualification for service. I mean I have a 30 day supply of medicine
yes
It's all over the BBC for example, so you can easily find it on any credible news site.
One way traffic?
Until it doesnt.\n\nIts not a fucking granted situation....you dont.know.what a "market" is apparently.