Reddit・wallstreetbetsのコメント

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At least it’s not the metaverse.
Thats right
Can he pump MSFT? Fucking limp dick stock needs it.
qualcomm please no
The only thing I understood from the Microsoft call was fuck arsenal
If Avis don’t sell off by Friday\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/wttaqchdh7yg1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=434d60364c8bad18f3c71694809b4370a69acd5b
Q2 results are gonna be terrible. 3 full months of war is gonna hit the income statements.
need to buy some stocks on the cheap. Come on Powell, do your magic.
“What if I were just like Warren but dumber and not at all likable? That would be cool right?”
AI killed the MSFT value proposition. Had a good run from 2014-2024 dead money
Why?
Meta couldn’t complete the grand slam.
My chipotle calls hit bigly
The math ain't mathin on some of these semi conductor companies to keep growing like they are
MSFT is being mismanaged
Has 🥭 been gramps all along?
Its just gambling. With such high iv im hoping on big price swing of the option conctract before earnings. Coupled with being the cheapest options on the call chain by a long shot, I think it opens up to more people piling into these lotto calls. If sndk can make say 8% gain before close, iv spikes more, I could maybe double profit or more. Theta gonna kill it though so its pure gamble because also high chance it goes to $0.
It's legal when the president does it.
Selling Microslop as soon as I breakeven, it's behaving weird like Billy G and his STDs
Lol at Vagina Neck seething at JPOW, but not able to articulate anything.\n\n"duuur the reason he got the job on the board of governors is because he can't get a job anywhere"
Cucking US
It is real lol he tweeted it like ten minutes ago
🥭AGAIN pumping particular stock 🤦‍♂️
The meme quality is going to really suffer when JPow leaves
Salmonella’s hot right now bro
Bruh, UBS was complaining about their puts getting shot down, too. Saying their fundamentals aren’t even there yet… like the market gives a fuck. lol
it followed AMZN
Yeah what I said but better
I really fucking hope so
msft red, probably those fucks at Citadel again
Yup take that money. Congrats
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Reddit calls or puts tomorrow?
they really want msft lower . AI killed it.
The zucc said ai isn’t taking away jobs
All I can gather is there is a fuck ton of sell orders sitting at $430 so we'd have to pump into it repeatedly until its all absorbed.
No, he basically said it’s because Fed independence is being threatened by the administration
Google and Amazon saving my port
Un fucking real
What makes you tink they report below? META beat on ads
https://x.com/alifarhat79/status/2049579837816246531
Turns out building shit so you can sell shit is bullish, who knew?
He's not even in politics technically lol
Cucking me
Slow down NANA
**Ban Bet Created:** **/u/Inevitable_Mirror_74** bet **MSFT** goes from **420.88** to **500.0** before **24-Jun-2026 06:28 PM EDT**\n\nTheir record is 1 wins and 0 losses.\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
🫦
I'm worried this shit could be real
!banbet MSFT 500 8w
Hello fellow paper handed bitch\n\nWould have been a once in a lifetime 40x bagger:\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/insmnnq6h7yg1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=c13706f23b89074d6dc36cfd6c540264caec3b53
My googl + bno + amd calls printing tomorrow morning 💰
Yes
Why not
Great, now write something about microsoft
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Did not expect MSFT to become so yo-yo!
WTF is MS doing?
Amazon I need 300
thank you. I was looking at the cloud biz and the math wasn't mathing for the 62% growth...
Don’t do that
What has happened
Yo, he just made bank selling puts. Riding off, head held high.
INTC up more than double any of today's big earnings, and no notable news published by Schwab, Lmao...
Obvs.
I look forward to when oil crashes 35% in a day just like silver LOL
Stfu I'm bipolar
I never understand these headlines, google is only pumping because they are challenging Nvidia with TPUs\n\nNo one actually knows if this will make a difference lol
Don’t worry guys I have puts NYC could get bombed and we’d end the day green.
Imagine calculating you will make $7-8k on Ford Calls only to now be down on market open.
Why can't we have price action like this during the day. Fuck, I'd suck u/EnginrA 's dick while he sucks whatever dicks he's sucking for whatever reason, for this price action.
I bought an INTC 130C it might hit ngl
if oil stays up silver is cooked
Reddit?
Mag7
MSFT has been green AH for a total of 4 minutes
Tomorrow I will again make mistakes and lose money, just like today.
🚨 MSFT IS BEING MANIPULATED 🚨
Deal
msft bols confused af
> Intel Stock continues to rise. I’m very proud of that Company in that I am responsible for making the United States of America over 30 Billion Dollars in the last 90 days on that stock alone. There are others that, likewise, I have been very successful with by taking pieces of the Equity for support. Congratulations to Intel on doing such a great job and, more importantly, congratulations to the People of the United States for making such a good investment!\n\n🥭 addressing the regards of this sub
lmao pure unadulterated retardium
Mango name dropped intel. Calls
=Atlanta?
Yes
Intel puts full port when?
Couldn’t agree more!
No. Just a happy Google investor who needed to convince myself that selling Apple at $120 to buy Google a few years ago was the right decision.
This gotta be one of the worst plays I’ve ever seen. Congrats!
I’m only here to witness the full circle of emotions on MSFT gamblers
Take the mic away from Satya ffs
I bought Intel at $20 last year. Sold at breakeven after the Trump admin took a stake in them, lol
I’m done looking at AH….these fuckers are playing mind games now
I sucked today. Again.
I’m at a loss of words with msft. POS
so what the hell are they saying on this msft call? utterly insane
Nothing new lol \n\nGenuinely
why did everything just pop
I’ll probably FOMO Luckin (LKNCY) like I should have two weeks ago when I was broke 🤓 always the way
bitcoin 2026 cope-ference underway. wait until they learn how much more they could have made with semiconductor stocks
Intel $100 holy fuck euphoria much
Why?
Fuggit. Crush the IV again to make sure no one makes money!
FUK you AMZN, you are just trolling my 1 single put at this point
That’s what every single bear has been saying… that they can’t possibly follow-through on making good quality chips.\n\nWhile ignoring all the massive changes Lip-Bu Tan has done to the culture and composition of the company, along with a fire under their collective asses to compete and be the best again.\n\nIf Apple, Google, NVIDIA, and Tesla are now interested in having their future chips made at US foundries, the price of the stock will go beyond the moon and head towards mars.\n\nThey are the penultimate “shovel part makers” for the “shovel manufacturers”.
Let the lady talk again plz
Has to be split evenly between the 2 though don't skew one way or another. Also don't buy until afternoon once things shake out. If you buy to early throws things off with strategy
Truth social posted about Intel, pump it
If there's no there there, then this feels like a Knight Capital Glitch moment but for all the Algos in the face of $108 WTI and climbing..
Msft tf u doing bro
Google and Amazon kicking off the next phase of the bull run
dear nana in heaven
it's on the list now boss, thanks for this. I've been burned in this market so much, so i hesitated getting in some shares earlier today, but may do so tomorrow. it just kept going up throughout the day! anything else in this sector that you're watching? need to do more research on this side of things now that MU hype is insane
This is so retarded just remove algos from the market like what the fuck is this nonsense
Next week I’m dumping my entire paycheque into your next rec. Watchu got for me?
It’s back in the red now. Glad I got out at 430 just now. Seemed silly for it to rocket up over a few words on the conference call
MSFT behaves like a memestock. SPY up and the winner of the day id INTL. Wtf. Thats not normal
When will you guys learn. Amazing earnings always equals new ATL.
🥭 truth social about Intel just now \n\nIntel Stock continues to rise. I’m very proud of that Company in that I am responsible for making the United States of America over 30 Billion Dollars in the last 90 days on that stock alone. There are others that, likewise, I have been very successful with by taking pieces of the Equity for support. Congratulations to Intel on doing such a great job and, more importantly, congratulations to the People of the United States for making such a good investment! President DONALD J. TRUMP
Msft price action today makes about as much sense as trying to move an image in Word .
There's the microslop we all know
Hold dez bags
Schizosoft
Meta can suck by calls.
https://preview.redd.it/6gq0xviug7yg1.png?width=1672&format=png&auto=webp&s=71080999736e311fabea1fd7c471c0e4b17a1729\n\nshe ate
I’ve never seen anything like this
I really don't see buying power in MSFT. It's been lagging.
fools in here still yapping about rate cuts this year LMAO\n\nnot while powell has a seat at the table y'all
It's not just peepee; it's poopoo
it's just going straight up at this point. up 45% since mild report with a negativ gaap. market doesnt make sense sometimes
Full port into msft @420.69.
Can somebody explain why market is at ATH with oil at 108?
Feel u dawg
LMAO
Fking MSFT doing the M shape recovery . 😂😂
Literally what the FUCK ARE YOU DOING RN MSFT
https://preview.redd.it/r7uum0srg7yg1.jpeg?width=1408&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3e8f46787715681d69ddd9073f14594296532cf7
I'm done with Microsoft rollercoaster. 🎢
MSFT really cooked both short term options bears and bulls during earnings
Wondering the same lol..
Shit is gonna dump
he still waiting for the dip from 2010. one can never be too careful. what if 2010-2026 is just one giant bull trap
https://preview.redd.it/jo5l5duqg7yg1.jpeg?width=730&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bcd42ecd83ebd0fcb3824853b1e7c2b4e2bc11f2\n\nI’m not ready!
Lol 3/4 on mag7 earnings ain't bad. Bought calls on all four
Did MSFT say "we're going to make lots of money" loooong pause "but we're going to spend even more!"?
!cancel banbet 😰
Yeah I’ve been on both sides it hurts to see money left out there for sure
RDDT CALLS📈
MSFT back to red, what the fuck is going on. hundreds of billions in market cap being shifted in seconds lmfao
40 point pump in ES future since open
FUCK YOU MSFT
You're a Wob-Buffet!
Ive seen it all now. Massive pump and dumps to V's during afterhours.
MSFT call holders support circle. What a glorious 12 mins of hope that was.
I want to put a shotgun in my mouth for buying meta.
Constant decline in what? The fed isn’t responsible for consumer sentiment. They’re responsible for employment and prices, and both have been stable outside of an exigent one time shock.
Bruh MSFT is back in the red lmao
Idk man I’m just here to unload some shares on the AH pop and buy tomorrow in the red
Epic, 9:30:01 EST AM 4/30/2026, Short I do.
Bro is still holding meta😂😂😂
Spy followed Microsoft up, but forgot to follow it back down
MSFT wtf are you doing
The words don’t exist
Thug till the end, tell a friend bitch
YTD: SPY +4% / USO 121%\n\nand bulls pretending like they’re smort 🤣
SLV to $100 next week
Insane's not good enough anymore\n\nThis isn't your grandma's market...
That 2 week bull run priced them in.
i literally want to put a shotgun in my mouth for selling intel at 19 would be up 80k rn
What's the news? Or was it 1 of the mag7 call?
So we pumping for any reason, or just bullshit?
My puts are printing while everyone else crying about their calls lmao
My man. I’m still kicking myself for selling the free $100 of Nvidia stock that Robinhood gave me for signing up in 2019
I was right about everything and everyone who pumped the market off of trumps fake negotiations claims and thinking the strait is open, should lose their high pay wall street job.
probably guidance upped hard or said capex will slow down eventually while guidance still going up or something in between during the call
You can still buy Intel at $96 right now and double your money in a couple months
Wow amzn went green af lmao
They’ll use the money to buy back more shares and which would probably be worth more now than what it’ll be in another 5 years
MSFT not just trading like a même stock, but a dirty freaky skanky one.
Yes it will recover next week after they get bored and realize either they buy it or shit stocks like Nike.
Lmao their revenue from cloud growth is commitments from the company that just missed revenue and growth expectations 💀
nah bro, all that matters is you make the right one.
Manipulation
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No no no MSFT nooooo. Why are you going red? Please please please I’ll stop being a big meanie to you. PLZZZZZZZZZ
I did that with my AMD calls for like 120% gain and 2 days later missed out on 1500% obviously it was a intel influence but it traumatized me a little.
Might as well include it in the S&P by now
Imagine trying to explain to anyone this MSFT price action
Appl calls tomorrow
Intel approaching 100 with oil above 100 lmaooooo
I’m going to create this cool product where you can trade options and not have to worry about theta. \n\n\nThen I’m going to call it paper trading so you regards can learn how to trade before blowing your ports.
Prob best for msft bulls to check back tomorrow LMAO
As opposed to being down 3.6%? That’s a huge swing, took SPY up $3 and my calls are ITM atm
Can somebody explain why MSFT isn't reacting better? They had an insane report
To put it in perspective when NVDA falls by 3 dollars thats the equivelent of obliterating a rocketlab, a poet, and the entire mcdonalds franchise from existance like woosh 10's of billions gone faster than you can say wendys.
If anyone finds out drop a link/screenshot lol. \n\nAnd then whoever got quoted…don’t forget to change your profile pic if they embed your socials.
Holy shit! I went to the grocery, and came back to make fun of bol more and everything turned around
Lmfao what the fuck is this market even doing? Most manipulated dog shit movement I’ve ever seen
Jerome Powell
Retail niggas wildin
Microsoft you are fucking KILLING me here
Jesus MSFT make up your mind
Today I am so glad to be big long on AMZN and not META, but I will sell CSP on META to ber tomorrow if it doesnt pump at open
MSFT execs need to just stop taking questions.
IM THORWING MY XBOX AT MY CAT WHEN I GET HOME
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Dear diary\n\nIf you contain the fractured soul of Voldemort, you better tell me now, or I s2g...
Here for it. We’re all gonna fly right into the sun lol
MSFT announces quad beats with 10x YoY across all categories, raises guidance 678%, cures cancer, discovers unlimited free energy source, and reverses 9/11 + the holocaust.\n\nStock: down 98.6% in AH trading.
Fullport got it boss!
AMD with the hulk dick
Markets decided to take my port on a rollercoaster ride!\n\nIs this caused by extremely thin liquidity or something?
The American consumer complains about cost of living then takes out 20k in credit card loans to doordash lmao
where are bers at? saying these earnings would POP the bubble?
That ber Pete deleted his account 😂. Talked so much how bols r fked
You gotta be kidding 🥀
SPY still doesn’t care about oil 😂😂😂
Deep partnership with nvda ty Amazon for the side pump
This is ridiculous bro
thanks i guess
Qqq 670 tomorrow
Uh oh
So the eps went up because the stocks in anthropic went up which allows goog to invest more in anthropic which it pays goog back in tpu usage which increases its eps . Mfw sundar found infinite money glitch
How are investors this bipolar. Make a fuckin decision
You're dumb lol
MSFT announces quad beats with 10x YoY across all categories, raises guidance 678%, cures cancer, discovers unlimited free energy source, and reverses 9/11 + the holocaust.\n\nStock: down 98.6% in AH trading.
Will meta ever recover
microshit being a dumb cow again
Not anymore
When I turned 18 I unloaded most of my net worth into a single GOOG stock (before the 20-1 split).\n\nI couldn’t handle it and sold after 4 months. I tell myself it’s a good thing because it taught me good fundamentals\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/2ysy6qacg7yg1.jpeg?width=690&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef7a6e56a5586dbbea66a28a567016919152eddf
squeeze the ai bers
Does AI use oil?\n\nNo? Then fuck boomer ass oil. We retardpump to infinity regardless of oil.
MSFT playing red light green light it seems
Lol this is absolute cinema
And by what you can afford I don't mean every penny you have
ALAB 300c CRDO 260c
nvda not even reporting and its rippin.
TSLA going up on AMZN earnings report.
MSFT what is u doin bby?
: )
Fuck man.
bUT iTs a ppOseD tO go dOwN
Everyone is celebrating as if tomorrow won’t be anticlimactic. \n\nMarket is trying to keep VIX low and SPY flat. It just wants to eat options of all types.
Yeah it's a bubble, who cares. Keep buying.
What the fucking fuck is up with MSFT?
Copium
Why did George Washington do this to my portfolio?!
Also because Apple, Tesla, and now NVIDIA are looking to produce their future SoCs with Intel’s new facilities… which will be more advanced than what TSMC will have to offer for a long while to come.
MSFT open red tomorrow I guess. But fun see it pump for a short while.
🤣
Can anyone check on the guy who bought hundred Meta calls with 690 strike. I had 10 calls which were so profitable, June expiration, on which I will probably break even tomorrow. I really don’t know how this poor guy is doing.
Lol Satya starts talking and it's instant red
IMSR
Was about to say, looks like me trying to argue for more points on a test in high school
retail straight eating this, crazy
Might break even at best with the IV crush
I know a lad who didn’t sell any for his 5-6 years there. His manager kept reminding everyone to auto-sell every year after reviews. And of course, lots of coworkers pushed that as the smart option. Normally it is the smart option. But for this stock, and the way it was constantly beat down and held in place quarter after quarter, it also made sense to hold a lot of it and not buy into the “sell everything, take zero risk” consensus.
Another spy + 2% day
Msft can you just stop being wack for like 10 fucking minutes!!!
But I love women
It’s because I bought calls isn’t it
Damn algos racist af, Everytime satya opens his mouth MSFT tanks
What happened, why is it recovering?
wtf is up with msft
Microsoft is all over the place AH
The market rebounded on only bad news re the war, just wait until the first bit of actual good news + a couple rate cuts
Me too man. Sold my AMZN calls this morning for fear of earnings after such a big run up after 2-3 weeks.
Green*
real winners are thetagang 🙁
Addendum, ber is in shamble.
Earnings calls
Microsoft is only up 1% chill out
100%. Google’s been a money-printer forever.\n\nThey’re the only Mag 7 that doesn’t feel like a house of cards
Well 99% of people are poor, so…\n\nalso you are most assuredly poor
*380s
What did andy amazon say?
And those folks can bike their ass to Wendy’s.
Microsoft will buy it. Rebrand it Microsoft Pay.
Happy to broke in an hour
There will be no dip, stocks only go up.
Imagine being a bear in the most retarded bull market that has ever been seen
> Back ~~office~~ orifice operations (FTFY)
FOHKIN BUY THE TIP! FOHKIN BUY THE PUMP!
Bulls on parade
Oil: "Look at me I am dangerous and a threat: \nStock market:"Piss off loser😂😂😂"
Well yes it’s SPY ATH every single day.
Okie doke ass market
I’d take it if it’s enough for you can always position better hopefully
Lmao look at these numbers the revenue is in commitments 🤣 can’t wait what excuses they’ll make when it’s finally time for profit
Oil was up and we said earnings are all that matters, now oil is even higher and we're pumping on... something?
July 17th is a solid bet but it could get worse before it gets better. I think TSLA will hit somewhere between $300-$350 then have a massive rally by that time. I have 1 singular contract for the $440 strike on July 17th but plan on buying more on the way down.
Unfortunately I believe the development of that brain has been stunted due to near constant strangluation
I actually can’t win no matter what I do
MICROSOFT 450 AT OPEN TOMORROW
We’ve finally broken the algos
The spiral begins.
Bicurious vibes..
You can just suck a dick you know that right?
WTF ARE THESE GREEN CANDLES ON QQQ LMFAO
ma heavy qqq 670 call looking better and better
Bought some 165c’s 49d out
Been gone all day how was SPY earnings
Holy shit I just checked my SPY calls are saved?? Microsoft stopped being dogshit???
Data tomorrow will either send this to 720 or back down to 710
I keep telling yall only poor people care about $4 gas
LET IT RIDE
They honestly all had beats and did fine....... and one of them are down!\n\n\nIn after hours trading.
Seems to be, ber is in fact fuk.
If the war never started we'd still be rangebound 670-700
Wha just happened every stock is up
Amazon going to the moon bby
Just wait til they open the straight
All I know is that TSLA reported one of the historically all time bad earnings statements last year and the stock went up. \n\nSo I guess - you’ll be fine. TSLA doesn’t trade on fundamentals.
It wasn't a surprise announcement. He's been saying he'd stay will stay on the board until the legal cases are resolved for awhile now. He mentioned it at the previous meeting as well. \n\n
WTI: *Breaks $150*\n\nSPY: I can go higher
Do you think we see another S&P ATH this week?
What's with the pumps? Fake tweet saying the Strait's open again?
Bers 🤣🤣
Completely false summary that probably came from Xai
What happened in the last 20 minutes in after hours (\~610pm eastern)- many tech stocks are going up
I may have to do that tomorrow
Despair to euphoria for like 90% of this sub in 10 minutes lmfao
GOOGl instead of MSFT, can’t make up its mind
MSFT back to red omg
And we will be moving 3 whole basis points today
Spy 750 tomorrow
Things going as expected was not priced in.
Calls, got it.
Bers are fuk!
It dipped literally in March what are you doing
Nah, he wants more like IRL Weyland-Yutani.
How many times do bears need to see green candles before they flip
Intel making the pain of my stupid meta calls go away.
Can we open the casino so us regards can collect our profits like the institutions? So glad I bought calls and MSFT debit spread.
It’s feeling like a Biden market again.
Dumped my calls on QCOM and AMZN when they hit highs today. Should gambled like a true regard.
Imagine if oil was at like $80 a barrel
If you bought Microslop instead of Google you’re just regarded honestly. \n\nMicroslop is about to commit the greatest seppuku world has ever seen. The people that can get replaced easily by AI, only know how to use the MS Office Suite, so who needs MS office licenses if you just replaced them with AI, and they were useless to begin with. Windows is complete dogshit, it’s too bloated for the direction AI is going, and it just doesn’t really make sense to exist for this AI abundant future, Teams & Outlook are ripping 30% of your memory, where do the agents fit? \n\nAnd finally, Microsoft is already expensive as shit, has the worst hyperscaler experience, and they just 6x the cost of copilot after they got the copilot licenses distributed. This is going to be nail in the coffin, the Azure bill compared to “value gained” from AI just doesn’t add up, and since every exec is just telling every employee to “use AI”, you got Mickey and Goofy asking Claude to read the same document over and over again tokenmax. AWS and GCP are so much better and growing too.
Just cause im mad I sold my calls I want to see this crash when mango tweets next. It probably will go to 728 now that im posting this youre welcome bulls.
All my calls are until 8th of May. What do I do tomorrow guys? Take 100% and run or let it ride
I was definitely expecting more from NVDA with the capital guidances
I need MSFT to stay green till I sell my calls!!!
spy ATH. you msft bears thought you had a chance
we survived the great ber recession from 4:15-5:00 April 29, 2026
you don't think it sounds a little scammy?
I was about to sell at 409 lol
What got AMZN all excited?
Yeah, actually the first move was a pump, then down, then up...so far
I sold my amzn leaps to buy msft leaps
I think their earnings are going to be shit
Y’all still don’t understand how this works, Stonks only go up
HOO LEE FOCK, you can’t be this FOCKING stupid
Maybe change your name so your prayer will work
What was his username again?
whatever you say champ
its bullshit, not bearshit. Think about it!
Ok I'm buying puts instead
lol first time earnings?
Damn so bears had what 1 maybe 2 good days the past couple weeks? Ouch.
why is NVDA being a bitch today tho
we eating steak tonight babe
My MSFT calls are probably still dead, but my AMZN calls are starting to look good again.
I’m holding puts on both expiring in July😝
Holy fuck spy 714 AH I am so glad I sold my puts damn!
So you know how most of us are like "yo 100k would change my life so much bro plz?" \n\n> Well, i feel thats how it is with the sp500. This is a time where one company has trillions, and another is still reaching for that first billion.\n\n> and its just surreal how a billion is considered "small to mid cap" now. Like bro, give any buisness a billion dollars and theyre on a whole new fuckin plain of existance. Meanwhile the mag 7 rise and fall by a cool billion every seconds. Its all so out of wack bro like
Too many people fell for the low pe meme. Turns out the market knows more than you do. Zuck is obsessed with incinerating cash
Msft green
Retarded American consumer > Educated Europoor
Amzn 280 at open
u/Dedikalt_adaaamm200 💀
we green tomorrow
Oil pumping. Covid level disruption coming\n\n\nSo much market froth, intel is 96 like no\n\n\nBe rational, I have 750k cash waiting for the dip
\n**User Report**| | | |\n:--|:--|:--|:--\n**Total Submissions** | 4 | **First Seen In WSB** | 6 years ago\n**Total Comments** | 3551 | **Previous Best DD** | \n**Account Age** | 11 years | | \n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
Buy what you can afford for 5/4 285 calls and 255 puts and thank me later
Nah Amazon moving CRAZY
QQQ 675 4/30
Feels like GOOG leaps remain an absolute no-brainer. Got Dec ‘27 $280s up bigly already and planning to buy more further out
They said "Intel"
MARKET DOESNT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT OIL. WE GOING TO ATH
bers are getting squeezed
Intc is the craziest shit ive seen in a while, legit linear line to 100 from 42 is insane.
MSFT to spend 190b in 2026 on capex lol that sounds like a reasonable number.
Only if I can watch
Euphoric
Everybody making hella money aside from Meta bagholders 😂🫵
bers, suck on ur thumbs lil bros
Spy 800 eod it’s over lmao no crisis gg wp mango ai man
Have we pumped beyond the moon?\n\nWill SpaceX ipo pump to mars?
Wait til the next couple days
Because it's not 100% sure. \n\nLet's say it's a 90% chance it'll be 3.5%, and 10% chance of 3.25%. Then the markets are going to move as if it's 3.475% (.9 x 3.5+.1 x 3.25) until it turns 100% one way or the other.
MSFT should just go back and forth all night for the shitposting
Idgaf what the Qs open at tomorrow Im spamming calls
https://preview.redd.it/3jqie2nof7yg1.jpeg?width=1206&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d862425f3eed576444d5624fa4164e77e50782b2
Can we have a nice extreme full market pump-job so my junk calls can go green? Pls, if I'm good?
Hahaha true I was being too hard on myself
Chips and high tech don't care about oil.
MSFT coming clutch
Look there is nothing unusual. Companies spend a lot more money, they earn a lot more money, oil is nowhere in this equation.
Me - Look at MSFT & AMZN. Their parents must be so proud \n\nMETA - I am trying...I am trying
AAPL can’t miss tomorrow. They know it’s a slam dunk and likely a record breaking buyback especially with the newbie at the helm and tiny tim in the boardroom.
Is this an ad for google
Ambussy gotta go up another 5% for the Iv crush to not destroy call buyers
Warren’s Buffet and Lube
The american consumer is retarded lmao
He's not stepping down!
Sucks to be reliant on other countries for oil, too bad China.
Oil is coming out. Saudi’s are back at pre war levels. Couple countries are cucked. America will sell more oil. It’ll stabilize. Calls it is
we bang ur wife instead?
F
Well 3 of the 4 Mag 7 ER is green… it means market is green tomorrow 🚀🚀🚀
I really want to earn a million dollars and then send myself to some deserted place... Oh, wait, Elon Musk, is this the purpose of your Mars Plan?
Yup, bought in before the government did.
https://preview.redd.it/54jdq47kf7yg1.jpeg?width=431&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc30339c7ca450e75216156156756294743ac442
#Cash gang in shambles 😂 😂 👌
Lmao my exact thought process when I was buying my calls
Smaller account so it was about 75% of my unallocated funds only about 40% of the actual account though the loss hurt sold them for a total of 1,400 so I lost 14,400 on it
Please for the love of Christ stop asking questions to satya man.
Calling it
Why do you say that? Very specific lol
Intel should replace Meta in the mag7.
APLD just a casual 48%+ month
Bears literally can't win this market desperately wants to pump straight to 1k SPY
Exactly!
Lmaoooooo
oh we are so fucked
Ok wtf happened.
Suck my ass bera
If MSFT keeps this green I will suck several dicks
I don’t know why they bother with the fake sell off when they can’t even scam retail into selling their options after hours
Why?
What a fickin joke with MSFT and AMZN ? How could you just be bipolar?
MSFT spiked 5% since I panic sold!
Just like that QQQ ATH again.
Yo, nobody can make up their mind on MSFT.
Microsoft rebranding as a shoe company
Fuck him and psth, lost 20k
damn why
i joined in 2022 out of college and I have never sold. i feel so validated cuz my coworkers begged me to diversify and I was just too lazy. laziness pays off guys.
Bears?\n\n\n?
qualcomm what are you doing stop.
Big red candle in 8 mins
So earnings came out it was bad and then randomly we decided the earnings weren’t bad and we were gonna pump now. Is that what happened or am I missing something
Spy open 720?!
RDDT IS LOOKING PROMISING. EVERYONE LOAD UP TOMORROW
>Feels like just yesterday we had ~~our separate, but equal,~~ water fountains.
Lmao get fkt bears
Bitcoin looking a little shaky u are definately screwed.
Don’t even open your app tomorrow if you’re betting against this, futures will be a vertical line all night long
WTF is this bull shit
Besides these 4 , I had a feeling amd and intel would go up too. damn
Wow MSFT flat for earnings?
just whatever
MSFT stock wilding.
Of all the Mag7 I could have chosen, I chose META.
BROKE ASS BEAR BITCH!
It’s up now
Transcript: We have a huge dong. Buy pussies
They need to figure out what the fuck to do to not get left behind
Delicioso!
I miss the emojis so much in this bitch
MSFT trying as hard as possible to give me a heart attack
u got puts
Leveraged ETFs for earnings is a cheat code if you have the buying power. Extra leverage and you can trade after hours
smh
WTF is the website?
Same
Microsoft giveth, Microsoft taketh away
As expected, the most profitable companies in the world make money, so gas can stay at 100 for as all it wants to.
War back on or something?
I'm sure they do. I'm just saying I feel like I'm getting a lot of value out of Copilot and I'm using the free version...I'm far from a "power user" though.
Wow AMZN is mooning!
this is insane but after seeing the last month i guess this is just the new norm
I bought NVidia calls today as a general bet on everything
I love your extreme confidence in something no one on earth knows the answer to: when or if the Iran war will end. It could happen tomorrow for all you know and then the oil bulls will see WTI crash to $80 in one day.
It's looking really not good for them. 3 earnings in a row they have beat and plummeted. They regain a little in the off months but being a 1day stock at earnings date is depressing for the stock especially with macro elements. Might not actually ever hit like I thought it would. I'll give it one more summer.
so everyone is posting great eps because inflation has spiked all much right?
What the fuck is digg
Amazon up 6%. and NVDA pumping up as well.\n\nAI alive .
I mean only people I know who use it is boomers and they are dying off…
How else will they afford the megayachts? WHO WILL CARRY THE MAGNUM BOTTLES OF DON PERRI? AND THE FLIGHT LOGS?
What’s the news for spy pump \n\nOh is it just Msft and AMZN helping
Everything pumping like a retard. I guess this retard pump to the moon has more juice in the tank. Top probably between 720-730
why is SPY flying?
Cope
Last year, when INTC was around 25/sh I said to myself that I'd buy when it hits 20. It hit 20/sh so I said ehhhh I'll just wait for 18 possibly 15/sh to maximize. It never did that, so I never bought. Now its almost 100/sh. doh.
Why's everything going up.
Lmao. Bers were certain this was the start of their “collapse”
This lady is great, got in at 409, out at 432. Best 4 minutes I'm gonna have for a long time.
this is the kind of dumbass move i was afraid of 🥴
META chosen last at recess kickball
So meta the only dog now
yep, amazon adding over a trillion mcap in a month, very cool very legal
Looks like AMZN fooled me😂. But my put expires in July18
Why is dogshit meta in the mag 7?
Basically this. It's to kill the puts. It'll tank when you least expect it
and then intel skyrocketed
Breaking: Microsoft to rebrand as Microissant and use AI bread making recipes to take over the global market, stonk mooning in after hours.
Shut up
AMZN: Ads + AI = Profit
Ok all i need now is apple mooning tomorrow
It dipped after our favorite Nutella announced boring MSFT products specs. Then it bounced up right after Amy shared a good Q4 guidance
So left me get this straight, hyperscalers used up pretty much all the free cash flow they had to prop this up and make the numbers look good. \nWhat the fuck happens now that the free cash flow is at zero
Dear god I lost 45k this week. I have 4k in 1dtes. Pls find it in your heart to pump Mstr 15% tomorrow
What did I miss in the last 15 minutes? Everything seems to have gone up massively.
When Tim Cook announced retirement, praises were coming in from all corners on how Tim is a legendary CEO for taking Apple from $400B to $4T in market cap. But it took Tim 15 years to do it. Sundar Pichai did it in 11 years. \n\nI know most of Google's growth came after the AI boom, but I think Sundar deserves a lot of credit for getting the company to where it is today after a lot of analysts declared Google dead 2 years ago after ChatGPT seemingly took over the world.
Literally bet it yesterday gamers, spending this new found wealth to treat myself to a McFlurry
Those qqq calls really were the right move
QQQ a casual +1.5% move from after hour market low. okay sure.... lol
I have a strong urge to sell everything so there’s still at least a week of regarded pumping
All I need is MSFT 500 then I'll fuck off
Is he also the voting member?
I don’t even know why I’m celebrating. I’ve lost so much money
i hate everything so much right now.
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Poor Meta gets no earnings call love lol
YES\n\nIndependent but linked stories but they are just so fucking good. I was going to say the trilogy but the question was best book so I randomly chose one.\n\nWritten on a mechanical typewriter before the PC was really a thing but gets all the calls right to the extent he absolutely nails generative AI. "The Matrix" and "cyberspace" both coined by him
Who tf cares about it?
I buy only two stocks. Google and Jollibee.
Vibes, just like this whole damn market.
I need a tasty pump on Meli, rklb, NVDA, to finally make my parents proud of me
LOL so MSFT didn't want to be associated with META either.
Sold everything with that huge comeback fuck it
Paid $25 for a damn pen earlier \n\nNeed my 0dte to come through
No idea why meta fell but I’m totally gonna give it a bit and buy the dip.
Lmao im so fucked unless mango decides to rug pull this into a circuit breaker.
fuck your puts, fuck your calls\n\nI will never forget these truly wonderful words
Amy Hood please don't stop
I'd rather it just shot up like GOOG but this one likes to fuck with us
#Ban Bet Won\n---\n\n/u/yewnique made a bet that CRWV would go to 118.0 within **1 week** when it was 104.92 and it did, congrats gigabrain.\n\nTheir record is now 1 wins and 1 losses\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
HOLY SHREK QQQ
https://preview.redd.it/0o631dwye7yg1.png?width=320&format=png&auto=webp&s=3f9ab9ede325d41b5b0c764082e649b5dee46ad0\n\n
Iv on it is terrible. It will print, but not as much as it should. Hence my "not really"
KISS ME JASSY
DONT STOP! IM BOUTTA BUSS 💦
Amazon boner candle
Well I’m cooked
What was it? I missed that section of the call
Can you explain is a coherent sentence why it's not a problem?
What reaches space first, amzn shares or Leo?
It is not just you. We have a group, it's called ber gang, and it is not nearly as zesty as hanging out with bols.
Prime?
Msft long term look bleak, but ain't nobody here for a twenty year investment.
https://preview.redd.it/hhbgxtnwe7yg1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=313f4321d82b6b95b440b224aec05239915cbba3
Can meta do the same thing as MSFT now thanks
NVDA not moving so my calls will be worthless watch me crying
Now that this is out on WSB, we will get TACO
Uh tf just happened
So instead of rehashing last weeks poet catalyst you couldve just said "extracts the money for mag 7 earnings" im sure youll all be back tomorrow.
You already have a bet going - SPY to 790.0 before 21-May-2026 11:57 AM -05
Ding ding ding. The only answer is it's chaos
!banbet
[ Removed by Reddit ]
In any rational world, yes.\n\nHe just announced that he scammed $40bb out of customers this earnings call, and there is no realistic path forward for the promises the stock is floating on.
HOLY HOURLY SPY CANDLE ❤️
MSFT must be using the remainder of the $60B repurchase budget to prop up the stock price.
Jerome is the goat. He just told Trump, "Fuck your calls"
So what's next
NVDA resurfacing from the dead.
You're the buffet bro. Theyre eating you like I should he eating my #3 combo. Put the fries in the bag
I have absolutely no idea.
At what point does something give?
TLDR speaker during amzn earnings call literally went item by item and said he is really bullish
NUMBER GOES UP FOREVER
Zoom out and tell me Powell was bad for the market
Its not a matter of "looking out for anyone" but a sense of realism. \n\nI mean sadly it makes sense in a K-Shaped economy. Which honestly pisses me off
the drop will be glorious
#Ban Bet Won\n---\n\n/u/pekebooo made a bet that AMZN would go to 275.22 within **1 day** when it was 259.64 and it did, congrats fucker.\n\nTheir record is now 7 wins and 10 losses\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates got on the call
720 tomorrow
What happens when you can't produce shit (chips) because no oil/Helium is coming out of the Gay of Hormuz. \n\nImagine people just postponing consumption... Won't buy shit that cost double if I can wait that shit out, unless it's food and booze to drown my sorrow.
Satya has horse cock
#Ban Bet Won\n---\n\n/u/thrashmetal_octopus made a bet that AMZN would go to 275.0 within **1 day** when it was 263.23 and it did, congrats gigabrain.\n\nTheir record is now 1 wins and 0 losses\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
where is taco tuesday, i was hungry
MSFT we are so back
they're calling this the gayest market since 2008
As much as I want vindication for selling all my MSFT I’d rather have a 2% SPY day. LFG!!!
https://preview.redd.it/he4ls1koe7yg1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ec552c83da80c2180017432f5583a22adf9fe07e\n\n
Reddit puts seem very obvious to me but those premiums are disgusting, $10 from strike to break even?
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$25k in shares and $20k in leaps. Should’ve gone all leaps.
!guh
They found oil under their datacenters
yep. they're waiting for us to buy tomorrow
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This has a material adverse effect on my ability to make it rain.
MSFT
This is true
My fault for playing
Open Ai ask for gov bailout then it comes crashing down. Let’s say end of summer.
Cash gang missing out
WTF happened, what's the tldr.
Very non-sus numbers! Almost makes be wonder why they are firing so many people?
Just moving some shares around nothing to see here
A stock like MSFT moving like this is insane
Congratulations 267.5c holders
Let me guess: MSFT said something like "Agentic multimodal AI with cuckpilot" in the earnings call?
Don't worry guys Trump and the Supreme Leader will hold hands and sing twinkle twinkle little star together just so my AI stocks can keep going higher.
I’m busy but whoever is talking on the AMZN call deserves a BJ
I just wanna remind everyone what happened to NVDA the day after earnings after it pumped up $20 the night of earnings
Cool, i’ve never really done earnings plays but bought QCOM calls, GOOGL calls, AMZN calls, Ford puts. Only f’ed up with MSFT puts. Feel smart now. Proly will panic sell everything at open.
Trumptard
Are you in congress?
Meta cured cancer and then accidentally deleted the data, apparently.
Yes, but it is again in a downward trend... Cannot guess till the call is done...
“Look I sold 3 more lemonades after I made 3 more lemonade stands.”
micro SLOP
190 fucking billion dollars in capex from Microsoft lol. Semis eating good
So just buy calls on everything even OIL, can’t fucking lose in this market
When ballroom etf?
Buying puts and waiting for heat to hit
Lmao this market is insane. When the straw that breaks the camel's back finally arrives, everything is fucked
Amazon is up now
MSFT BULLS FROM THE TOP ROPE!
No one knows what the hell happens today
it is dumbass
Great results thats why
That breakeven price is amazing!
I own GOOG, AMZN, MSFT, but not META. Am I genius? Yes
And MSFT/AMZN is back in green. crazy reversal after the earning call.
december, i have hope
bers punched air so hard they dislocated their shoulders.
Looks like Zuck's the only one left in the doghouse. Everything else is green.
Bols: low cortisol
That will be a nice 19k loss at open.
MSFT WTF SOMEONE HELP
#MSFT END THE CALL RIGHT NOW. THAT’S ENOUGH
Someone needs as shorting Intel and is now bitter 😂
Still don't get how intel is supposed to have a value of $100/share.
https://preview.redd.it/0t0va3pge7yg1.jpeg?width=1408&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=962f761d9b242da36b7f7d5bfd938e4eed02b464
🤔
he is fucked isnt he VM
Amazon has also been doing well. But yeah it was clear that Google was the best buy out of those four a mile away
Check again :p
This but he can juggle and play pickleball.
MSFT giving me hope just to take it away again
What the actual f is going on with MSFT
MSFT back down to red
He might be retarded, but hold on. Ive got an expert on retards.\n\nExpert walks in\n\nYup, youre retarded\n\nExpert walks out\n\n/ Pawn stars.gif
Fuck no dont ask about capex .
There is still a chance for it to go back in red
There is a narrow, golden path.
The other 465 ain’t
Where are all the fucking retards that believed oil is a problem lmaooooo
All this shit is. Annoying.
they love making us bleed
Sigh… I saved you all 😣 😮👄
Amazon ripping
Everything but META cured cancer. The circlejerk can continue!
You can just tag me next time
+50€ google -100€ microsoft 😪
MSFT behaving like a meme stock
Jassy is owning this call
Imma bring some snacks and gatorade!
Bers thought, therefore they lose money. LMAO🤌
Beautiful moves
Buying power...$0
not anymore
Well META is a $1.7 trillion company it makes up a good bit of SPY
WTF kind of life are we living?\n\nMarkets dumping, Oil is rising cant make money in markets and living costs are fking us!\n\nTicks to make ppl allergic to beef, 3D printed lab grown meat.\n\nWEF 2030 agenda \n\n
Please do
I have a meta put, I'm happy
Woah wait ok Satya shut the fuck up now
No idea what that means but I laughed
Guidance, FY 27 double digit revenue growth
What the living shit is going on with MSFT?
Now everything's up.
MSFT just popped. What's going on?
They all get paid millions, they don't really care that much
Where’s all this revenue growth even coming from? Is it just MAG7 reporting future contracts to each other aka unrealized investments? Lmfao
Ah yes, because all those teenage girls has blackberries in their back pocket
Having my whole mood depend on what the market is doing probably isn't healthy, but God damn I'm feelin' good rn. Let's goooo.
And it's back
Are we pumping off a tweet shitting on JPOW?
UAE decided to transport oil through Amazon instead of Hormuz
Ain’t no way bruh
oh my god MSFT fuck off
WTF MSFT is green.. nice
No go back up MSFT
i am into humiliation so whatev
Good day to earn all 4 and gave big gains offset META
Leveraged amzn calls are printing. Pls don’t sell off before open
Fook yeah!
Double digit revenue growth for 2027 maybe
Didn’t know there was a dick swinging competition tonight.
gimme dat full retrace
Meta Why doesn't anyone in the earnings call give a damn about the share price?
I feel like at this point I need to just sell everything and wait for the crash
AMZN printing
Bears it was a nice hour huh, sorry about what happens next
Oh shit, they are! I don't pay attention to META, I'm not a racist boomer
my calls are clinging onto hope once again
everyone point and laugh at ber! \n\n🤣👉 🐻
Yes ugh big shrek dilly after hours so I can’t fully enjoy it 🫦
...And we had an internet dotcom bubble too.\n\nThe Mag 6 may not be at risk of failure, but some of their customers (and some of the companies they're investing in) down the chain are. And that would mean the Mag 6's earnings growth likely train-wrecks if those companies fail or even just disappoint.\n\nI'll just refer you to Ed Zitron's posts... because he goes into this stuff in more detail than I can here.\n\n
Ed Zitron's Where's Your Ed At
The Words of Ed Zitron, a PR person and writer.
(https://www.wheresyoured.at/)\n\nBTW, with regards to the overall S&P 500 valuation: Buffett Indicator, CAPE ratio, and Mean Reversion are all 2-standard deviations over-valued above historical trend right now (i.e. - dotcom bubble levels).\n\n
Current Market Valuation | Data-Driven US Stock Market Valuation Models
Current Market Valuation provides data-driven US stock market valuation models, including Buffett Indicator, CAPE, yield curve, and recession indicators, with w...
(https://www.currentmarketvaluation.com/)
Now this is podracing
Autozone
Did they? I put like 40% of my money into oil calls today
At least META is saying true to its course and drilling. \nAlso how is SPY just slightly green when even MSFT is up
What did MSFT do to save themselves lmao
Satya stop talking you’re tanking the stock
Jeff Bezos cmere lemme kiss you
Just another buying opportunity
Weird because last I checked the boys at Wallstreet have always been looking out for us
Well done man. I've definitely cut many winners too early, thank fuck Google wasn't one of them haha.
It grows in kinda joe dirt like, sorta white trashy but what’s up
Lol they flushed everyone out of MSFT then let it react naturally
the copium worked out
Meta say whatever Microsoft said and send us
Same algos that dumped 30 mins ago buying it up again. Regards.
Imagine not buying AMZN, the literal compute nexus of the universe with thousands of physical robots
CUCKERBERG
Microsoft making me cream in my pants
i got gaped on cmg puts
I dumped a year of pay into GOOGL in 2022-2023. Lived simply. Best financial decision ever.
MSFT pump to 500 starts LFG
Why is amazon up 5% now lmao
Who in their right mind reads the 10-Q... Just open any news site and read "USA gov invests in INTEL" "NVIDIA buys INTEL"... that is all you need to know
MSFT OPENS 450 TOMORROW
META bent me over and fucked me like a pennywhore in Saravejo Valley, 1876
the underdog wins
Yeah,\nPOET on the chart, yeah it used to look strong\nNow it’s bleedin’ every day, yeah the rally went wrong\nAI hype got ‘em buyin’, thought the future was gold\nNow the bags gettin’ heavy, yeah the story been sold
Wait until weed catches on bro you’ll see
Calls tomorrow?
looks like it
Breaking: Microsoft announced an addendum to their earnings that literally just says "ber r fuk"
Killing all options
What a day 🙈
let’s go
Shame on you for betting against \nAmerica bears
MSFT take a pill or something straight up lol
Washout 🤣🤡 calls
That's me
You have time don’t worry
Pause
WHAT THE FUCK LOL
LFG MSFT
$5 gas in fucking Columbus Ohio but the entire economy is Mag 7 AI capex spend anyway
Nana needs to be there.\n\n \n
We are so back, it's so over, were so back
Way too reasonable for these parts. But let's be real, every other major ai product outperforms copilot.
stocks only go up
Hedge funds just like us. Buy high and sell low 3x over for Amazon and msft only for it to rip higher
Ya mine are the 15th you should be able to bag some good money still though
Where were you when the beartards learned that MSFT doesn’t give guidance until the earnings call
GO AMAZON GO
i just want a tatted man with a fukass mustache
holy
that's why it's green. thank you for your service
MSFT saved me
Already greenn
https://preview.redd.it/wlukfq7yd7yg1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e956842e4d0272482b224de5219ebd59b9b714a9\n\n
Maybe selling AMZN calls wasn’t the best idea. 🤔
I watch a guy who’s a retired Quant on YouTube and his explanation was simply that too many people bought puts and the markets were too predictable, and out of any explanation I’ve seen or thought of this seems surprisingly likely since there’s no chance this pump is based on fundamentals. I think a declining global economy outweighs some fake tech earnings.
Nice one bro
Screaming buy. 150 by August
It's just earnings right now, and the big boys are sucking up all this AI revenue for essentially free because they don't have to put their insane capex onto the books yet
Hopefully next week lol
did AMZN and MSFT go green? Why?
Let’s fu king gooooo
We need them quantum space data centers on the moon with robot employees dude. Only makes financial sense
msft just needs an east asian ceo to go back to the moon
Hold that Michael Burry, hold that
Hopefully sticks by morning
lol at how unaffected Stocks and crypto are today while oil is climbing.
What happened? It was deep in the red then jumped up
Say AI one more time bulls
Amazon shorts r so fucked the earnings call is literally bull porn
Bears are now calling it fake because it turned green in 2 minutes LMAO
dont get why, what did they say?
Wow my straddles are deep fucking fried
Bers big mad rn
Will my spy 715 call for 8/21 print tomorrow?
I knew my puts had no chance, but on the bright side doesn't look like calls are making money either
If Warsh can actually get on next vote going to be 11-1
MSFT
Alright alright which one of you regards shorted microsoft come on lets see a show of hands 🤨
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Just saw a school bus pass my house and thought how much more the local school district is paying for it to run
BITCH ASS BEARS ARE MAD LOL
🤣
Mark can give me a Zucc, So long SUCKERS
My poots :(((
What do u have goog or qcom or msft
Even once (if) the SoH is opened It's going to take 4-8 weeks to resume capacity to pre-war levels at a minimum. Lots of wells shut in and more scheduled to be which takes a lot of time and money to reverse.
congrats to all the call spy buyers in advance!
Beautiful that was an agonizing hour to a beautiful reversal
Microsoft god candle
Meta bears r feasting
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Another one who’s ok with throwing a marginalized community under the bus.
KEEP LYING IDC WHAT U GOTTA DO \n\n$MSFT
That may be the worst decision of all time
jpowel cooked by mango
🥭gotta make sure his friends buy puts
Did MSFT just report their 2nd earnings? Lmfao
GUESS WHICH ONE OF THE FOUR MAGS I CHOSE?
May I ask what percentage of your portfolio this is?
**Ban Bet Created:** **/u/DICK_STUCK_IN_COW** bet **META** goes from **626.57** to **650.0** before **01-May-2026 06:09 PM EDT**\n\nTheir record is 7 wins and 23 losses.\n\n[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
i thought MSFT could go up 10% today, how small is my brain
!banbet META $650 2d
Yea 6% move up today “overpriced”
You got moxie kid I’ll give ya that. No buffet found here though
Ahhh, my life has returned to stress free. Thanks msft.
Which one of these companies control the Hormuz?
MSFT 410 -> 435 too suddenly
https://preview.redd.it/19rh8ldqd7yg1.jpeg?width=2500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3bf63f9833a45457fb51cfbaed3d8a533af29821
Sounds like a plan 😸
what is even happening in this earnings
Wow MSFT
MSFT
LOL\n\nnow it's up 2%+\n\nthey f'ing with us now
Exit liquidity trap
Not for Googl or qcom
Whats everybody doing tomorrow? Ducking debtors 🦖
The thing with AI was investors were promised R2-D2 grubhub deliveries and customer support answered by C-3PO instead all we have are fancy test cheat AIs
You were up at some point and didn't sell .
flat? its up 0.5% retard
Some of the weirdest fucking earnings reactions
That shit overpriced cuh
I'm the opposite. I tried to use copilot today to summarize some emails and came out wondering why I was invested in MSFT.
May first contracts being made real.
Bears are SO FUCKING MAAAAAD LMAAAAAO
Are you not entertained
MSFT FY 27 double digit revenue growth
Bro are you like actually in that interview right now? Ask Grok or something not me, I fix servers for a living and throw my money away on memes. I imagine they run the money printer and they make the numbers go up(or down just to fuck with me specifically). Also something to do with employment and interest rates or some shit. Stop being so serious, nobody cares, this is the internet.
Need a 715 open 😭
Same here full ported into googl at 150 last year was going to sell a week later at 170 and decided to hold and has been the best thing I’ve done. Summer last year when meta and Microsoft were soaring I was wishing I stayed invested in them 😭😭
Looks like theta gang the real smarts in the room
I knew META would earn a lot but damn…all that money being blown on AI and the layoffs…\n\nHe ain’t for the people.\n\nGlad I ain’t in it.
MSFT beautiful move
The pure disconnect the stock market has from the outside world needs to be studied.
its all fake and ghey
You know a deadheads not gonna let you down\n
Biggest day of the year. Mag4 earnings fomc and spy is basically flat. Wtf
i have to admit, i had 0 faith in a MSFT comeback
Yeah you made the mistake of buying puts
Jisus just because you check bitches on instagram doenst mean you should buy calls.. META sucks
You know a deadheads not gonna let you down
Are Microsoft bers still celebrating
Is OpenAi selling merch? I'd like to get an OpenAI bag before they go bankrupt
Msft cant fail, they can only make every white collar workers day fucking miserable.
prolly 😔
My margin call notice was orange. It felt weird as I watched Sofi plunge today. I think I should complain it’s not red
Dear god.
In favour of what?
WTF, Brent Crude just went up 10% more.
Welp bers, there's always next earnings
Zuck is one letter shy from being cuck
Same with Microsoft
we’re green bb
THANK YOU GOD
I have a confession to make. I'm bullish on AI and I even like using MSFT Copilot. \n\nPlease don't throw tomatoes at me.
I need a job where I don’t sit in one place for 8 hours
https://preview.redd.it/9bd699xfd7yg1.png?width=1154&format=png&auto=webp&s=07b6409576e3b3fb73e20b887375d2341802a4fa
We’re green bb
Won’t see you next time 🗿🗿
Nar balls
Ok boomer, in computer if something is called default it means you have choices\n\nAlso I am not sure there is a Yahoo search engine as of 2005 or thereabouts. If you DM me a 💳 number I will remote scan your device for viruses
Tough feeling to see everything rip tits and I am sitting here down 12% YTD.
https://preview.redd.it/733kh8ged7yg1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=db361ecaba9ceeb92127bd5547568914aeb38aa9
You guys all gambling on dogshit bag 7 stocks instead of just buying my boy SNDK the king of 7th inning AI
$MSFT bulls thrown a bone lmao
Surely this time it’ll work
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Ai ai ai ai ai ai\nai\n\nAiaiaiaiaiai\n\n\nAI\nAI\nAmotherfuckerI
Ultra rare W
Hello Retards show your face, who fumbeled QCOM at 146
Sir this is a Wendy’s
Cope
Lmao this shit gay as fuck
You must be one of the commodity traders that has infiltrated this sub speaking doomsday about wheat oil and fertilizer prices like anyone cares about minuscule gains compared to the real trades happening in the market
I mean that's what they are priced to do
MSFT played a UNO reverse.
The world is seriously about to get fucked then.
Why are we pamping, goddam bools
Microsoft just announced it's opening a shoe division hence the pump
Commence Bear Fukulation Protocol 69 (BFP-69).
Let's go up META, i believeeeeeee
intel didnt get the memo then
Everything green but META 🤣🤣🤣 cucked by the zuck
MSFT what a comeback
Hero we don't deserve but hero we need
Let’s goooooooo.
Oil at 150, you can’t fool me. This ship is going down. Long puts it is
Thanks god MSFT 🥵
Go cope about oil elsewhere bears ur cooked
A lot of emotions just happened in the last hour....what a dump and pump
It's a sign of diabetus
Can Amazon seriously pick a side lmao
Mother of all Vs
Guidance, 64%, PBA = 13% growth, cloud = 15-16%, 13-14%, co-pilot, M365 low, intelligent cloud = 38.25 billion 27-28%, azure = 39-40%, broad customer demand, YoY, server decline, PC = 11.75-12.5 billion, lower PC market, windows OEM decline, ads growth, Xbox rev down low teens, accelerating growth, 900 million, Opex - 19.4 billion, 550million from retirement, FY = 1 point, interest payments, Q4 tax rate = 19%, capex = $40 billion, finance leases, FY 26 190 billion capex, confident on ROI, increased server, customers to build, another year of double digit growth FY27.
Jassy keep saying AI 🤤
WAR IS OVER I ASSUME! FUCK YEAH
Can META join the pamp now please?
I'm ok if MSFT amzn and GOOG gains exceed meta losses
Looks like another week of riding my son’s ebike to work.
https://preview.redd.it/w56wy3y1d7yg1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4b1972b4bccbdfa937e071b72de7ef7a9b2c588\n\n Yes! Enjoying a tincture!
How is that price action wtf is going on
So spys just gonna ignore everything still?
Yup which is why when it fails, everything comes crashing down with it.
prolly nothing
Wonder how many people had HOOD MSFT META calls
I need unh to do what it did this month 3 more times please and thank you
The amzn comeback just saved my whole port
META FUCK YOUUUUUUUU
If you believe in multi-universe theory, Jim Cramer is wrong in all of them.
Need oil to go down as I’m in on DUG
Took a nap and big tech still moving lmao wtf
Please. Who tf thinks we haven’t had enough political discussion yet?
just like that Qs are green
msft just casual 6% moves in seconds up and down
V shape MSFT, here we go
Are my calls saved or is meta holding them back?
Because he's gonna taco any day now.
This is the world economy, green or red dildos determine whether your bloodline ends here or continues
I actually made money with Microsoft? Wtf
Remember, after hours is fake
So from what I understand this whole market is kept alive by a single company (OpenAI) that will likely never make any money?
What kind of idiot doesn’t back GOOG. They run your phone, your computer, your tv, your taxi and your taxi’s fucking map
actually insane
What did MSFT even say lmao
microslop grew a pair?
He don’t buy no options. He sells them. Billions worth.
According to my regarded chart reading skills, shes about to tank back to 80$
clearly oil doesnt matter anymore
Msft lmao
Everything will open flat tomorrow because companies and profits dont matter just taking your money and premium with options.\n\nDoesnt matter how high or low theyll go itll all open flat and gay.
I told myself I would sell if it came to 430 but this fucking greed man
market you drunk af dawg.
Did MSFT announce they were getting rid of copilot? I can't think of anything else that would pump the stock like that.
Come on Blackberry... You Can DO IT!
Microsoft bers thought…. Bahahahahaha
Mooncrosoft
they're cloning Zuck why didn't the stock go up
HEDCOUNT DIE...DIE....FUCK YUR SALARY....MY CALL WANT PROFIT \nProooofits UPPPP!
IV crush from hell on everything tomorrow lol
Keep it gooning, I need my spy calls with extra gravy tomorrow baby
Zuck just wants to go put the clown face sunblock on and go surfing. Idk if his hearts in it anymore
MSFT is dropping because people closed their pc and go to sleep. Keep your pcs open so we can have green hulk benis tomorrow gn
Powell said markets will be starting to price in 2% rates which are coming around the corner. Memory and storage companies have secured new sentiment that ai is profitable if done right. Iran conflict has faded. What is there to be bearish about right now other than things going well?
We’re green now
Msft is fighting for its life woo
Satya finally locked in
MSFT is up lmao
NOKIA is re-releasing Brick phone. Stock is going to the moon 🚀🚀
They are fulfilling their mandate, don't come at Jpow cause you're scared of AI
Investing is easy, just buy Google and Amazon.
May it provide that gawk gawk 5000. As long as my leaps print
Yeah this shit is going to go critical mass soon.
META is the last one that needs to flip green which might actually happen with how much of a scam this market is lmao
What did msft say
Pump coming tomm after every analyst raises prices for all
100 billy not included from Anthropic on their AWS backlog
This
Nah will be a bulls win
Open wide
When do they expire?
Unzips.
AMZ haters get fuckd
Your calls are still cooked